by Maggie Marr
“Dillon, that was fabulous,” Boom Boom purred. She walked over and ran her fingernail over my bicep. A sigh of appreciation passed over her lips.
“So now, Sam”—Boom Boom nodded her head toward a woman with a mane of thick blond hair—“is going to do the interview.” Boom Boom lowered her voice. “Remember, be yourself, but we are selling this amazing image that is you. Hot. Young. Single. Dangerous. Unattached.” Boom Boom leaned closer to me. “That last one is particularly important.” Her eye bounced from me toward the table with the umbrella where Lane sat. “Especially with the coup of Kiley Kepner at the premiere.”
My heart jerked in my chest. I glanced toward Lane, who’d patiently sat through two hours of me taking photos. I’d gone by twice to check on her and each time she’d told me about the script she was reading. The idea of being without Lane, with someone else, made my stomach uneasy. I wasn’t unattached anymore, but I knew I needed to appear that way for my career.
I walked toward Samantha. Boom Boom hovered in the background. I knew from prior interviews she would remain close so that if the questions got too intimate or the interviewer went too far afield, I could look at Boom Boom and she would come and find a way to get me out of the interview.
Sam wore a low-cut top that showed lots of cleavage and a high-cut skirt that showed lots of thigh. Funny, I would have been all over that with my charm, but with Lane sitting near me, I didn’t have any interest. After the “hellos” and “nice to meet yous,” Sam got into the interview.
“There isn’t anyone special in your life?” she asked with a hinting lilt in her voice. She cocked her eyebrow at me, and just beyond her Boom Boom waited and looked at me. I glanced from Sam to Boom Boom to Lane, who was at the far table. She was bent over the table, her eyes eating up the words on the script she was reading. Her caramel-colored hair hung in a wave over her face and teased against her jaw and neck. She was special. Lane was special to me. She wasn’t just some toss-away girl.
I focused my gaze back on Sam and turned up my high-watt smile. This was my career, and right now, according to my team, what would sell the most movie tickets was the idea that I was single and available, not yet settled down.
“Sam, not yet, but believe me, I am always on the lookout for that special girl. The one that will complete me.” I looked up and locked onto Sam’s eyes. “I haven’t met her yet, but I will. I can’t wait to meet that one girl who I want to spend my entire life with.”
Sam blinked twice. Her pulse pitter-pattered faster. Was she swooning? This hard-core Hollywood interviewer was actually swooning at my words. I jerked the corner of my lip upward. I was good. I was so good. I could even convince Sam that I was still single and hadn’t found the right girl for me when I was sure I could no longer convince myself of that fact.
Wow, I was an awesome actor. I glanced toward Boom Boom, who nodded and gave me a thumbs-up. Then my gaze glanced toward the right, toward Lane.
My heart jerked in my chest. The corners of my mouth dropped.
Lane was gone.
Chapter 19
Lane
I couldn’t listen to Dillon’s words. I couldn’t look at his self-sure grin. I couldn’t listen to Dillon tell the interviewer he hadn’t found the girl of his dreams yet, but when he did, he’d be willing to spend his entire life with her. Dillon’s words carved a hole in my heart. Each one sliced through the fantasy I’d created about our relationship and let the sharp light of reality blind me.
I slipped down the side steps of the deck, away from Dillon, away from his interview. I walked out onto the sand still warm from the sun that now hovered low on the horizon. I walked toward the dark brown line where the water licked the earth. A breeze blew through my hair. I crossed my arms over my chest, not because I was cold but because of the hurt that wound through my chest and tightened around my heart. I walked toward the water’s edge, toward the vast blue sea.
The forever blue and the sun just beyond made me think of my mom. I felt close to her here. Perhaps she had walked on this very beach, in this very spot, when she was my age. When, for that brief moment in her life, she had chased her dream.
I wasn’t Dillon’s forever type of girl. I wasn’t the right girl for him. He needed someone who could help his career. Maybe someone who was an actress, an actress with a name, an actress already a success. His words today made everything clear. I hurt, but I wasn’t angry. He hadn’t made me any promises, and I hadn’t made him any in return. Maybe we were using each other. I was using him for a job, for career advancement, for a way to get my foot in the door of the industry. I’d taken the job as his reader because of the promise of a permanent gig if I stuck out the summer. I closed my eyes to the brilliant breeze and the fresh, salty smell of the sea. It’s just… being Dillon’s reader had become more than just work for me. Being with Dillon, for me, was more than just physical attraction. I had fallen for him. I had fallen for Dillon. I was a complete fool, but at least I was aware of the kind of fool I was. This would never be permanent, this thing with Dillon and me. I would leave in August and he would remain free.
“Lane!” I turned toward Dillon’s voice.
He ran toward me across the sand. I hadn’t realized how far from the beach house I’d walked. The setting sun danced on his skin. The wind blew through his black hair. Dillon was pure masculine beauty. How could I, Lane Channing from Kansas, ever expect that this man, this gorgeous-beyond-words man, would ever be only mine? He wouldn’t. With that sudden burst of knowledge, with that acceptance, a freedom took hold in my heart. I would be with Dillon this summer. Dillon would be mine, as much as was possible, for the summer, and then I would go. I would leave. Dillon would be free.
“Lane.” He halted beside me. His eyes carried confusion. He held out his hand to me. “Laney, I’m sorry, I had to… it’s for my career. It’s a brand that they want me to be. They need me to appear free and unattached and—”
I pressed my finger to his lips. I looked into those eyes that glowed in the late-day golden sun, those beautiful blue eyes. I didn’t need to hear anything more. He took my finger from his lips and tilted his chin down toward me. He wrapped me tight in his arms.
“When you weren’t there…” He drew a deep breath. “When you weren’t there, it scared me.” He glanced toward the ocean and then back to me. “Don’t leave me like that again.” He grasped my chin with his fingers and tilted my face up to where his gaze met mine. “Please, Lane, don’t disappear.” He pulled me tighter, and my cheek pressed against that hard chest. “You mean so much to me. I’m sorry I hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I bit my bottom lip. I fought back the tears that flooded my eyes. I was falling in love with Dillon MacAvoy. A love that could never be returned. I could have my summer, I could have him for a while, but the girl that would have him for forever—I knew for certain that girl wouldn’t be me.
Dillon
I held her tight to my side all the way home. I knew that my words had hurt her; I could see it in her eyes. I was certain that she understood why I’d said the things I had in the interview. Those words weren’t my truth. Those words weren’t my reality. Those words I told Sam were about me building a brand. Me being a star. Me creating a career. Once I was solid, once I had enough money to feel safe, for me to feel safe for Choo, then… then I would tell the whole world that Lane was mine.
Mine. I’d never wanted any girl to be mine before Lane. The sun had set by the time we returned to the house. Mathilde had left dinner, but neither of us was hungry. I felt raw from the fear and ache that had hammered through me when I’d looked up and Lane was gone. Gone after she heard the words I said. Choo had left a note saying he’d taken the pack to Jackson’s for the night. I walked up the stairs, holding Lane’s hand. We got to the door of my room.
“I want you to stay in here,” I said. My fingertips were on her chin.
“Okay.”
“Not just tonight,” I said. “I want you to stay in he
re, with me, always. I want you to move your things from your room to mine.”
Her eyes widened. I knew this was a big step for her. This was a big step for me. I didn’t let women sleep in my bed. Traces of confusion and want and sadness inhabited her eyes. I wanted to chase away all those fears. I needed those feelings to be gone. I wanted her to be sure that this was what I wanted, that she was what I wanted.
“Dillon, I don’t know if—”
I couldn’t hear no. I didn’t want to hear no. I pressed my lips to hers. She opened her mouth to me and my tongue slid over her lips. Heat fired through me, but I held back. I couldn’t scare her off with my want, with my need. She had to know, I had to let her know that this desire for her in my room wasn’t just physical. My desire for her was mental, my desire was emotional. An empty ache had pierced through me when Lane had disappeared. I pulled my lips from hers.
“Lane,” I said, my voice low, my forehead pressed against hers, “this isn’t about sex. We don’t ever have to have sex.”
“You… you don’t want to sleep with me?” she asked. The confusion in her voice shredded my insides.
“I’ve wanted to since the first night you were here.” I met her eyes. “I need you to know, this is about you and how you make me feel.” I ran both my hands up and down her arms. “When I’m with you, I feel…” I stopped. These words… all these words… “I feel whole. Like a missing piece of me has finally snapped into place. I want you with me. I want to wake up and see your face. I want to fall asleep and see your face.” I pressed my lips to her nose and then her eyes. “I just want to see this face all the time.”
A smile slipped across her mouth and I pressed my lips to hers.
“Okay.” She slipped her hand from mine and turned down the hall.
“Where are you going?”
“To get my things.”
“No, baby, I want you in here now. We’ll get your stuff later.”
She followed me into my room and I closed the door. I sat on the bed and she stood in front of me. I wanted her. I wanted her with a heat I could barely stand. Tonight I wanted to be near her. To be next to her. To feel her body pressed to mine. My fingers ran up over her arm. Her eyes were locked onto mine. I reached up and unfastened each button of her shirt. I pushed the blue-checked fabric over her shoulders and slid it down her arms. She was perfection. My fingers unsnapped the button of her white shorts and slid them down over her hips. She stood in front of me in a pink lace bra and tiny thong panties. My eyes ate her up from her face to her feet. My breath was short and I could barely stand not pressing every inch of my body against hers. My cock pressed hard against my jeans.
She leaned forward, placed her hands on my thighs, and pressed her lips to mine. My hands roamed up the sides of her body and unsnapped her bra from the back. Then I slid a finger under the tiny little string of her panties. She shivered. A shiver that nearly undid me. I tugged them down over her hips and she stepped out of them. My finger glided up her thigh as I watched her face. She bit her lip as I teased my fingers upward to where her leg met her body. I pressed over her tiny belly to her V.
She gasped and held her breath. My other hand clasped her breast. I pulled on it and then gently drew her forward to me. I watched her as I slipped her pink nipple into my mouth. A sharp inhale came over her pout of a mouth. My fingers slid up over her folds and danced across her clit as I sucked on her nipple. She widened her legs. I pulled my mouth away from her nipple and let my lips brush across her chest.
“Baby, you’re wet.” I slipped two fingers inside her tight pussy. “Why are you always so wet for me?”
Her hips rocked toward me as my thumb massaged her clit. “Oh, Dillon,” she moaned.
She pressed her hands into my shoulders and bent her head to the side in pleasure. Her mane of hair drifted over my face and shoulder. Her neck, her pussy, her body—heat surged through me. I slipped my hand from her and flipped her onto my bed. I couldn’t take her, I wouldn’t take her, not yet, she was too pure, it was too soon, but I would make her come again and again. I would watch the waves of pleasure wash over her. She lay under me. My lips teased along her breasts and down her belly. Her hand twisted in my shirt and I pulled it over my head. She leaned forward and pulled me into a kiss. Her greedy mouth bit at my bottom lip while her hand fought the button of my jeans. She unsnapped them and slid them off my hips. My cock sprang free, so hard between us. She grasped for it with her hands.
“Baby, no, please, I can’t,” I gasped out.
With one touch of her pretty little hand on my cock I was going to explode. I knew it. She was naked beneath me. All that skin, those beautiful breasts—I could barely stand not pushing myself into her. I pressed my lips to her belly. Her hands grasped my hair and her hips arched upward and pressed against me. Her body craved my cock; her pussy was searching for me. Lane had a greedy want for me, and it was a want that I needed to quench. But now, tonight, wasn’t how I wanted Lane’s first time to be.
Lane
I pushed his jeans over his hips. His penis sprang free. It was there in front of me. So big. So thick. I grasped it with my hand. I wasn’t as afraid as the first time I’d stroked him. I gripped it and the low aching moan that came from Dillon made the hot slick spot inside me want him more. He dropped his head forward and shut his eyes.
“Baby, please,” he gasped out through his teeth. He opened his eyes and peered into mine. “I can’t take that. I’m going to explode.”
I teased my hand once more down his shaft. I wanted him. I wanted to give all of myself to him. I wanted this memory, the memory of our summer together, to be what I took back with me, what I carried forward. I knew we wouldn’t be together forever, I knew he couldn’t ever have just one girl, and if he did, it would be a girl much different than me, but I was ready for this moment with Dillon.
“I want you,” I whispered.
His eyes widened with my words. His face looked shadowed. I reached my hand up to his cheek. “Please, I want you.”
He gave his head a gentle shake. “Lane, baby, it doesn’t have to be now, it doesn’t have to be ever. We can wait, we can just be together. I don’t want—”
I pressed my fingertips to his lips like I’d done earlier this day. I wasn’t giving in to Dillon, I was taking control of what I wanted. I wanted this. I wanted him even if it was for this short while.
“Don’t make me beg.” A small smile curved over my lips.
I reached out and pressed my hands to his hardness and again Dillon shuddered. A tremble raced through his body with my touch. “Please, I want you to make love to me. I want you to be my first.”
A serious look took over his face. He stared deep into my eyes as if I was giving him the world, and in a way I was. I was giving him my world, my heart, my love. I wouldn’t ever forget this moment. It would be forever seared into my mind. Dillon. His body. His arms. His touch. His kiss. Each time I remembered our summer, this man, I would remember this moment.
“Are you sure?” He settled onto his side beside me and his fingertips traced up my belly and around my breast. He swallowed. “I need you to be sure.”
I nodded. I was scared. I was nervous. But this was what I wanted. With all my heart I wanted this. “I’m sure.”
His lips were on mine with a soft, sensuous caring. Not hunger, not just possession, but more, as though he understood what I was giving him by making him my first. He pulled back and looked into my eyes.
“I need you to know before we do this. Before…” His eyes traveled over me. “I want you with me whether we do this or not. I’ve never wanted someone to be mine, but I feel it here.” He touched his chest. He looked away from me. “I… I don’t deserve you.” His gaze landed on me. “But I can try.”
I smiled a soft smile at him. A half-lidded smile. His lips grasped mine. His hand pressed down over my mound and slid into the wet of me.
“Baby, you’re so hot,” he growled. “So wet.”
My hips a
rched upward with his touch and his words. His words made me feel hot and fierce; they made me feel good. Two fingers slid inside me and his thumb brushed over my nub. A fire shot off inside me, a fire that raked across my skin and shattered through my body. His mouth suckled my nipple and his eyes watched me. He watched me as I arched and rolled under his touch, unable to control the movements of my body.
“Dillon, please,” I gasped. My voice was hoarse and raspy; I couldn’t contain the want that seared between my legs.
“Baby, you don’t have to do this, we don’t have to do this,” he said and continued to make me climb with his fingers deep inside me. He circled my most tender spot with his fingers and pressed into my body.
“I want my first time to be with you,” I gasped out. My hips rolled up and back under his touch. “Dillon, please, I want you inside me.”
He gasped and a low moan combined with a growl crossed his lips. A sound that caused tingles to shoot through me. A sound of possession that stirred something deep within me. A sound that let me know that with this, with me giving myself to him, with this act I have become his. No matter what happened after this moment, I would be forever his.
I heard the drawer beside the bed slide open and the rip of foil. I watched as he pressed the condom onto his thick shaft and unrolled it over the head and down to the base. A shiver burst through me. A hint of fear. How can that fit inside me? I looked away from Dillon’s throbbing penis and into his eyes. He watched me. I saw a gentleness next to the desire and I knew, I knew this moment was right. I knew Dillon would make this first time right for me. I trusted him. I loved him.