by Kailin Gow
“I can imagine,” I say, taking her hand into mine and entwining my fingers with hers.
One moment we’re laughing at sharing an old childhood memory, the next we’re looking into each others’ eyes. She stopped smiling. “I wish you wouldn’t do that,” she says.
“What?” I ask. Show affection for an old friend? Hold her hand to comfort her, show her that I care?
“Play with me,” Summer says, her eyes looking pained. “I’m too vulnerable for your games right now, Nat.”
“I’m not playing,” I protest. “I want to be here for you anyway I can. That’s why I’m here. I flew here to see you, to make sure you’re alright.”
“But, just now…your fingers, your kiss…”
So Summer can still feel the electricity between us. It’s not just me imagining the spark that always courses through us when we’re near each other. “Just on your forehead,” I said. “Like the way I would kiss my own sister Rachel. I promised Aunt Sookie I’d look out for you as I would Rachel. That’s what I’m doing now.”
Summer lifts her head to look at me, before looking away. Is it disappointment I see in those green eyes? Or is it anger? Her expression shifts so quickly I have to guess. Luckily, Summer answers that question for me. “Just like Rachel?” she asks, a little angrily. “If that’s the case, then you would be calling me or seeing me more often, like you do Rachel. But this, touching me here, and kissing me there…”
“Just a friendly kiss on the forehead,” I said. “I’m sorry if you think it’s more.”
“No, it can’t be more,” Summer’s voice is practically a whisper. “Not when you already said you have all these obligations, and I can’t be a priority for you, but a distraction.”
I groan. “No Summer,” I lean back into the sofa and take a deep breath. “I said that a while back when I was confused, hurt, and was trying to deal with everything. That was before…Aunt Sookie past away. Now you’re a priority. I made a promise to your Aunt, I’d be here for you, and here I am…and besides, aren’t you with Astor Fairway?”
“If you call seeing each other every so often, and being far away from each other with a few phone calls and text message in between, being together,” Summer says.
“I thought you two are a ‘hot item’, according to some of the stuff I’ve read,” I say dryly.
Summer’s head snap around so quick, I’d think she would have whiplash. “Oh, you’ve read all that?”
“That and a bunch of crappy stuff about the Academy.”
“You can’t believe that’s true,” Summer says. “Aunt Sookie’s Academy is a good place and a solid school. I can’t believe how people can say those things about her or the school.”
Summer looks like she’s about to cry. I know staying at Aunt Sookie’s pad and taking over her school is a lot for anyone to do. Summer’s a strong girl, but even she needs help once in a while. For Summer, who is living here, constantly reminded of Aunt Sookie, it must be extra hard.
With that, I look around the house, half expecting Aunt Sookie to walk through her bedroom door and into the kitchen to confirm what I’ve just said to Summer. For what it’s worth, Aunt Sookie always managed to be fair to all of us kids, although Summer has always been her favorite. She couldn’t help it. No one can. When it comes to picking favorites between insecure Drew, rebellious Rachel, broody me, and Summer, I’d pick her as favorite, too.
*****
The house looks just like it did when Aunt Sookie lived here. From the time we first started coming here every summer when I was five, and the twins were four, I’ve loved this house and everything about it. I love that when you walk into the house, you feel this calm and peace. I like that when you step outside to the backyard, there is a swimming pool and then a few steps down, you have the entire beach at your disposal. I love the campfires we had, and the stories Aunt Sookie told, especially about the pirates in Malibu. I used to think it was all made up, but when I was ten, Summer smiled at me one day and said, “I have to show you something.”
“Sure,” I said, and I followed her down the beach to a remote area with jagged cliffs and sand. There, Summer showed me a cave nearby that did belong to a pirate. Rachel and Drew followed up our discovery with a visit to the library where they found books about real pirates who used Malibu as a place to bury treasure.
“So you see,” Aunt Sookie said, her eyes bright with mirth. “There used to be pirates here on the beach, and when it gets very foggy on a cold dark night, sometimes, you can see the ghost of their ships sailing over the horizon.”
That is one good memory I have of being here with Aunt Sookie and Summer. The sands around the Pad is filled with our history…the Donovans and the Jones’ that spans a decade of fun, happy, sometimes sad, growing up, and everlasting experiences. Surfing lessons from Aunt Sookie, diving, stargazing, walking and running on the beach, and even beach parties. It’s Aunt Sookie’s house, the one she kept from her marriage to a producer, when she was a young actress on a television series. The house and the series lasted longer than the marriage, but Aunt Sookie managed to still look as beautiful as she did when she first owned the house. Beautiful even up to the point she got sick and started requiring special diets and living. No one knew she was sick. Aunt Sookie. It hits me like a rock how much I missed her. How different it is without her here at her Malibu Pad. I can feel the emptiness of the place without her, and I can feel Summer’s loneliness staying here without Aunt Sookie. My heart feels heavy, and I suddenly feel that same loneliness permeate through me.
“How are you doing?” I ask Summer, softly. Gone is my cockiness, my joking, just me and Summer, talking like old friends and confidantes. “I mean with everything?” Summer moves a bit on the small sofa, shifting her legs so she’s sitting more upright so she can face me. The sofa we’re on is really more the size of a large armchair. Summer and I are sitting so closely, she’s practically on my lap, and my entire body is aware of it. I narrow my eyes, feeling a possessive growl form from deep inside of me. I want to pull her entire body onto my lap and tear off her shorts. Every pore on my skin tells me to do it, but looking around me, at Aunt Sookie’s kitchen and even her photo on the mantel, I remember the promise I made Aunt Sookie. I don’t ever want to hurt you, Summer. Instead of saying that, I clear my throat and asks, “Why did you text me today? Is it all that stuff that’s on the Internet? Is it Astor Fairway? Is he treating you right? Is it…”
“Nat, I text you once in a while. Today’s not that significant.”
I shake my head and cup her chin with the palm of my hand, directing her eyes on mine. “Come on, Sum. It’s me, Nat. You can tell me anything.”
Summer looks down and back up, her lips part in an agonizingly delicious way. Man, even now with her face in my hand, and me trying to get her to confide in me, I’m still thinking with a certain part of my body.
“Nat,” she says firmly in a tone that reminds me of Aunt Sookie, but still velvety soft like Summer. “I’m worried about you first. You should be back in San Francisco, studying or sleeping. Not here. I don’t want to be the reason you fail out of college. Please. You have to go back now and sleep or study and get ready for that exam. I’m fine. I’ve been fine. And I…I have Drew…”
“Summer, I found them! Fresh fluffy newly-washed towels. I know Aunt Sookie isn’t here, but I don’t want to drip water all over the oriental rugs…”
Drew. Speak of the devil. My mischievous brother is here, too. He is standing there at the doorway from the room he and I share at the Pad, dumbfounded. He’s wet, only wearing boxer shorts, and they cling to his muscular body like a second skin while he tries to dry himself off with the towels.
“Hey, Nat,” he says. “That was you at the door? What are you doing here?” He eyes me suspiciously instead of welcoming me.
I try to hide the red hot jealousy that springs into my chest. Seeing him here dressed like that in the middle of the night, and seeing Summer dressed like that…I can only g
uess what has been going on, especially where Drew is concerned. What am I doing here? What made me suddenly drop everything, stop studying for my exam, risk failing my exam and ensuring the wrath of Dad upon me to fly out here tonight?
“I was worried about Summer and wanted to check on her,” I say calmly.
“All the way from San Francisco?” Drew asks. “There’s more to it than that.” His eyes narrowed slightly at me. I can tell he’s not happy seeing me here.
It’s funny, although I see Mom every other day at our parents’ home to check up on her and see if she’s taking her medication for depression, I hardly see Drew and Rachel much these days. They’re busy, and I don’t live at home now that I’m at Stanford. Drew and I are close, but after last summer, it is as though there is a wall of ice between us. I should be happy seeing him again after a few days, but I’m not. Why is he here with Summer?
“I can say the same about you,” I say, getting up from the sofa. “And why are you and Summer both dripping wet? You two go for a swim?”
Drew looks over at Summer, and she laughs. “As a matter of fact, we did go for a swim.”
Drew hands a towel to Summer, and she takes it, wiping her hair with it. I can’t help staring at her as she does it. With every movement of her arms, it looks like her bikini top can come undone at any given time. And like any red-blooded male, I wouldn’t want to miss the show. But then again, this is Summer, I’m getting hot and bothered over, feeling shameful and a little dirty. My Summer from every summer before.
“Here,” I say, aware that Drew is staring at her in the same way I am. “Let me help you.” I take one of the towels from Drew and go to stand behind Summer, wrapping her hair into the towel and wringing the wetness out of it. I can smell the sweet jasmine and honeysuckle scent of hers when I’m this close. The smell intoxicates me, and I can see that I’m leaning in closer to her until my chest is pressed against the small of her back.
I have Summer’s head wrapped in a towel now, and she rests her head against my chest, closing her eyes. “Hmm, that feels good,” she says. “Your fingers have worked wonders on my scalp. When did you learn to massage heads like that?”
I could have burst out laughing at the innocence of that comment, but my mind is too entrenched in the gutter thinking of not-so-innocent images it conjures up.
Drew is hiding a smirk too, and I could tell where my little bro’s mind has gone, too. Poor Summer. Caught between the sandwich of two devious and devilish Donovan brothers.
“He learned how to massage heads like that a long time ago when he discovered he has one,” Drew says.
The look on Summer’s face as she turns the shade of red matching my t-shirt, is priceless. Sweet because that blush shows how innocent she is, and sexy because that blush is the same kind that shows up when a girl is passionately in the throes of sex. “Oh, I see,” she says. “Does everything have to boil down to that?”
Drew nods. “For the most part with guys like us, yes.”
I say, “Especially with guys like us.” Drew and I look at each other. At least we have that male bonding understanding between us.
Summer grabs a pillow from the sofa and throws it at me, hitting me square in the jaw. It knocks my head back a little, and I’m even sure if Summer has thrown harder, I will be headless by now.
“That,” Summer says, “is how to get your mind out of the gutter.”
Drew is laughing. “Nat, don’t feel bad. It’s not every day that you get thrown at and nearly decapitated by one of America’s hottest rising volleyball player, Summer Jones.”
Summer is blushing big time now. “Drew, I was going to tell Nat.”
“Tell me what?” I ask Summer, looking at her and then at Drew.
“That I won a scholarship to USC playing college volleyball,” Summer says almost as if embarrassed by it.
“Wow, that’s great!” I say, reaching for her and pulling her in for a big hug. “That’s big news alright.”
“Here’s the bigger surprise,” Drew says. “Even Mom and Dad don’t know yet.”
“Spill,” I say, getting impatient with Drew. “Is it something I have to tell Mom and Dad?”
“They’ll find out soon enough,” Drew says grinning.
“Is that the reason why you’re here?” I asked.
“One reason,” Drew says and his expression changes from that cocky grin to a look of tenderness. He’s looking at Summer, and I can tell, he’s just as in love with her as this summer. Months away from Summer, hasn’t changed that.
“So why are you here in the middle of the night at Sookie’s?”
Drew smiles this slow smile that reminds me of the cat that just ate the canary. “I’ve just been accepted into USC’s early admissions program. On the condition that I can finish a couple of assignments from my AP classes and get them in early before Christmas Break, I could even start next semester.”
If my jaw hasn’t fallen to the ground already, I would have done a double take. Drew’s slow smile has turned into a big grin, and Summer is hugging him so tightly, almost completely plastered full length against him damp skin against damp skin, that I think even if my jaw had been wiping the floor, Drew wouldn’t notice. “So you decided to accept after all?” Summer says. “I know you’re here to see the campus today, and it took all day, but that’s a real quick decision.”
Drew looks over at me, and I can see the triumph in his face. “I didn’t have to think about it, Sum,” he says.
“So you and I,” she says, shaking her head. “What’s the probability of both of us getting a scholarship to USC and starting college early? Must be someone looking out for us,” she says.
“Yes,” Drew says, glancing at Aunt Sookie’s photo on the mantel. “I definitely believe that’s true.”
“So you’ll be moving here after all?” Summer says happily.
“If you have room here for me,” Drew looks innocently around the room. “I mean I don’t want to intrude, but I doubt I can find an empty dorm room at this time of the year.”
“Drew!” Summer is playfully slapping his arm. “This is your house as much as it is mine. And Nat’s and Rachel’s. You are all welcome to stay and live here. Aunt Sookie would have wanted that. She didn’t have kids of her own so we’re like her children.”
“Okay,” Drew says. “I just thought maybe I can find a place closer to campus, but…”
“Look, Drew,” Summer says. “I’m going to be starting the same time as you, and I’m going to be new on campus, too. We can carpool and go to campus together. I’ll at least know someone there. We can be each other’s support group.”
“Put it like that, Summer, it makes sense.” Drew lets out a big grin and says, “Twist my arm, Summer. I’ll move in here with you and drive you to school, too. It’ll be like old times when Aunt Sookie and all of us are here, except it’ll just be us.”
“Yes, just you two,” I say to Drew. “How convenient. I wondered how that happened.”
“Hard work, Bro,” Drew says, “some luck and timing.”
Yeah right. Knowing Drew, he probably charmed his way into Admissions, using that Donovan charm of his.
“So, how’s your mother these days?” I ask Summer, wanting to change the topic. I know I should be congratulating Drew, but I couldn’t. Not when I feel it should be me staying here and playing house with Summer, as I’ve always done since we were kids. I was her knight-in-shining armor. I’ve always protected her and been there when she needed me. I can’t shake the jealousy so I refocus.
“My mother,” Summer’s face is expressionless, “is traveling for her job with the Marines as before. Good timing that I declared myself independent last year so I can get around on my own especially now that Aunt Sookie’s gone.”
I see Summer look down, and when she looks up, her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. It’s the elephant in the room. Aunt Sookie isn’t here. Three of us are, but this house feels empty without her, and Summer living here by hersel
f must be missing her intensely. I know I miss her, and if I miss her like the way I do, I know that Summer must be hurting much more than she let on.
I go to Summer then, take her out of Drew’s arms, and fold her into mine. It’s what I’ve been wanting to do ever since I got here, to hold her and touch her, to run my fingers through her hair.
I’m running my hands through them now, and holding her tight against me, feeling how cold her skin is, when I pull her closer and try to warm her up by rubbing her arms with mine. She looks up into my face then, and I can see the hurt and the pain in her emerald eyes, clear as day. She’s looking at me with a look that beckons for me to kiss her, to ravage her mouth with everything I’ve got.
It is so hard to resist. I want to kiss her as she wished, but I couldn’t. Not at that moment. Not with Drew right there in the same room, looking pissed. As much as I want Summer, as much as I love her, and would do anything for her, I couldn’t rub it into Drew’s face that Summer and I still have strong feelings for each other, and it seems that no amount of distance has diminished the way she feels for me, and at that moment, I couldn’t care if she is with Astor, Drew, or no one. All I know is that I want Summer. More than anything else in my life right now, I want her. And I’ll get her even if I have to fight for her.
Chapter 3
Drew
When did Nat ever do something spontaneous? Never that’s when, so when Mr. Straight and Narrow shows up at Sookie’s Pad at 2 AM in the morning, with that pained and anxious look on his face that says he is out on a mission, a mission that only another man in love can see, I wanted to kick him back to whatever hangar he arrived from.
I’m angry. Seething mad inside. Nat should. Not. Be Here. He had his chance all these years to act on his feelings for Summer and to reciprocate Summer’s feelings for him, but he didn’t. Now here he is, acting like a knight in shining armor, trying to rescue the damsel in distress.