“All right. You have my full attention. How is this possible?”
He jerked his head toward the castle doors, and I walked next to him eager to see its interior.
“I canna tell ye how ’tis possible for I doona know, but I’ll tell ye what I can. It’ll be dark, Sydney. The windows are few until we reach the tower. I’ll lead ye straight there. Do ye mind if I take yer hand?”
“Please do. I’d rather not stumble around in the dark.”
The touch of his hand warmed me right through, and I felt safe as he led me through the darkened halls of the castle.
“I doona wish to take the time to light a torch. When we reach the tower, the walls still standing will block the wind, and the moon will be bright enough for us to see.”
I tried to make out as much as I could in the darkness, glancing this way and that for the possible sight of a light switch or an outlet, but as far as I could tell, none existed. He walked quickly, and I had no trouble keeping pace. When we reached the tower, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the moon’s brightness.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the moon put off so much light.”
“Aye, I agree. I doona know why, but it seems ’tis brighter in this time. Come and sit now that ye are not so ready to flee. I’m glad that ye dinna leave me standing on this side of time all alone.”
He continued to hold onto my hands as he spoke, gently rubbing them to keep me warm. We couldn’t have been in the crumbling tower for more than half an hour, but in that time, he told me more than I ever would have expected to learn in such a short amount of time.
Everything about the fire, the wretch of a man who set it, how he knew Morna and her strong connection with nearly everyone staying at Cagair in the present, and finally, Grier, the mysterious witch who helped him so many months ago. I asked little as he spoke, intent to soak up every word he wanted to share. When he finished, he gave my hands a gentle squeeze.
“What are you thinking, lass?”
“So many things. I’m sorry for the fire—for the pain it caused you, for the lives lost in it. I can see in your eyes how speaking of it still hurts you.”
His eyes widened at my words. I guessed he expected me to question rather than console him. I’m sure I would have questions later, but for now my mind was too filled with processing everything he said.
“It does, but I was lucky. It only pains me that I was not here to keep the others safe. Had I not been absent, Macaslan would’ve taken his anger out on me, not those innocent people. I would’ve made certain even if it cost me my own life.”
I scooted closer to him, every inch of me wanting to be nearer to him.
“If not for you, Nora would’ve died in that fire, as well. There’s no way to know that you could have kept Macaslan from hurting the others. There’s no looking back from things like that. You just have to move forward.”
“Aye, ye are right.” He stood, still grasping my hand. “’Tis time to go. I doona think it wise to be here without others around.”
He took the path out of the castle more slowly, and it seemed to me that he couldn’t decide whether or not he actually wanted to leave. As he slowed his pace even more as we approached the passageway adjacent to the bedrooms, I spoke out to him in the darkness.
“Callum, I wasn’t cold in the tower if that’s what you were worried about. It’s all right with me if you want to stay a while longer. You seem to be taking the long way out of the castle.” I laughed teasingly, knowing full well what it looked like to drag your feet. For the last year of running the restaurant, it seemed I was doing it all the time.
He laughed as well, but it didn’t match my own. His laugh was deeper, more strained. When he spoke in the darkness, I jumped at the nearness of his voice. I didn’t see him lean in close.
“I’m glad ye think me so noble, but I dinna fear for yer warmth. I knew that if I looked into yer eyes a moment longer, I would act in a way I should not.”
Memories of our time in the kitchen flooded my mind. I wanted him to kiss me and he knew it. I didn’t understand his hesitation.
“What way is that?”
“I’ve not even known ye a day, Sydney, but from the first moment I laid eyes on ye, I’ve wanted nothing more than to hold ye against me and kiss ye until the only breath ye can breathe is my own. Do ye still wish me to kiss ye?”
With Morna’s potion still in full effect, my answer slipped out immediately. In that moment, I knew that I would answer the same way even without it.
“Yes.”
His hands moved to cup either side of my face. Although I could not see him, I could feel his breath against my neck.
“I’ll kiss ye lass, but not this night—not when Morna’s potion still courses through yer veins. I wish to kiss ye when ye have the power to say no even if you do want me to kiss you.”
He didn’t step away, and I used the opportunity to lean forward and press my lips against his. The potion had no influence on my behavior. If I wanted to kiss him, I didn’t think for a moment that he would object. He didn’t.
He pulled me tight against him, backing me into the nearest wall as his hands roamed freely over me. His lips were soft and warm against my own. He allowed the kiss to continue for a long moment before he pulled away, grabbed my hand, and took off at a remarkably fast rate toward the main doors of the castle.
“Well, I dinna expect ye to do that, lass.”
I had to run to keep up with him, but I didn’t mind. Running was never a problem, but with the endorphins flowing through me, it was a breeze.
“Do you wish that I hadn’t?”
He laughed. Once we were outside, he turned toward me. This time he leaned in, kissing me quickly and gently on the lips before pulling away to gaze at me in the moonlight.
“No, I’m glad ye did. Though, it only makes me hope that ye willna take what I give ye all the more. I doona wish to be the only one to remember that come morning.”
“What do you mean?”
I watched him as he bent and retrieved a small glass bottle from the top of his boot.
“Doona worry. I can see ye cringe even if ye do yer best to hide it. ’Tis not a truth potion. Morna gave it to me to offer ye in case, after learning the truth, ye dinna wish to know it. If ye drink this before bed, ye will wake remembering nothing of this night. Yer knowledge of the magic that goes on here will be gone.”
Surely, he didn’t think I would want to forget all of this, but I appreciated the gesture all the same. It placed the choice in my hands, and that was something I’d had very little of today.
“Thank you.”
He nodded, slipped it into my hand, and turned to walk back toward the staircase.
“Let me lead ye back, lass. Doona tell me whether ye plan to take it or not. Ye should think on it all first. Ye should know that if ye drink of this vial, yer ignorance of the magic will keep me away. I wouldna wish to be the one to upset yer world. I’m sure ’tis plenty bonny without me in it. But, Sydney, if ye decide not to take it, I’ll have no reason to stay away from ye. If ye know the truth, I’ll want ye every moment, and I intend to pursue ye most ardently.”
CHAPTER 17
Present Day
“She might already be sleeping, Jerry. After a day like she’s had, I’m sure she’s tired enough to sleep for a month.”
“I doona care if she’s sleeping. If ye wish to get in bed with me this night, ye will apologize to the lass this instant. I mean it, Morna. I am finished with all of this. I willna have ye acting like a child a moment longer, and if ye put poppies in me drink again, I’ll be putting arsenic in yers. Do ye understand me, woman?”
I stood cautiously at my door, listening for the moment when either of them took a breath long enough for me to open my door to show them that I was in fact, still awake.
They carried on that way for nearly five minutes bickering back and forth, Jerry giving Morna quite a mouthful. It made me like the man immensely.
&nbs
p; I jumped at the quick rap of knuckles on my door, but I waited just a few seconds to open it so it wouldn’t seem like I’d been standing there listening the entire time.
When I opened it, Jerry immediately leaned in for a hug while Morna stood back looking at me with guilty eyes.
“Did we wake ye, Sydney? I told Jerry we shouldna be coming to yer room this time of night.”
“No, you didn’t wake me. Not at all. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I doubt I will sleep a wink.”
Jerry pulled away from me and gave Morna a quick stare, undoubtedly intended to hurry her up with her apology. She did just that.
“I know a lot of what is on yer mind is my fault, and I apologize for the day ye’ve had. I’m ashamed of the way I treated ye. There is no reason for it. I canna imagine how confused and frightened ye must be. Did Callum give ye the other potion?”
I still held it in my hands, and I lifted it so she could see it.
“Yes. He did. You don’t need to apologize, Morna. I understand.” I knew that was a gross understatement. Thirty minutes of conversation, while revealing, still left me many paces behind everyone else. “Well, at least I understand more than I did. I can’t say I would’ve acted differently had I been in your shoes.”
Jerry didn’t wait for an invitation before stepping inside my bedroom.
“See, Morna? Was that so difficult? I told ye the lass would take it well because she’s far more kind than ye are.” He turned away from his wife and directed his attention at me.
“Will ye take the potion, lass?”
I didn’t know. Callum alone was enough to make me want to toss the thing, but it involved so much more than him. Was I comfortable being privy to such knowledge of magic? If I spent my life around those so accustomed to it, would I ever be fully in control of my own life again?
“I don’t know. Should I?”
Jerry didn’t answer me right away, instead turning to usher Morna from the room.
“Ye’ve said yer apology. Go and get in our bed and warm it up for me. I wish to speak to the lass alone.”
She bid me a quick farewell and left us. Jerry spoke the moment he closed the door behind her.
“I dinna want to speak in front of her. She’s too involved in the magic to give ye a fair answer. I’ll tell ye instead what I know to be true for myself.”
I moved to a small chair and motioned for him to do the same.
“That sounds great. I’d love to hear what you think.”
“Doona take it. Flush it and doona think twice about doing so. Anyone who knows me will tell ye that my feelings about magic are not all good. It frightens me for more reasons than I wish to share with ye now, but it always has. Not only that, but I’ve spent most of my life witnessing how the burden of magic has impacted my wife. ’Tis not an easy thing to be able to see and sense and change things in ways that others cannot. Magic is a responsibility that not all can bear. But the knowing of magic, well that is rather extraordinary. It makes us a few out of millions. I for one wouldna change that for anything in the world.”
He yawned as he stopped—a big, long, wide yawn that passed right over to me the moment it ended. We laughed together at our shared fatigue.
“That is my opinion of it, lass, but if ye decide to take it, not a one of us will blame ye. I best be on my way. I’ve been angry with my wife for far too long. I’m eager to make up with her.”
He grinned slyly, and his cheeks blushed in a way that made me chuckle as I walked him to the door.
“Thank you, Jerry. I hope we will be good friends. I’m going to go toss this thing the moment I close this door.”
He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and stepped into the hallway.
“I’m pleased to hear it. Ye doona need to hope, lass, we are already bonny friends.”
I smiled and closed the door before marching straight to the bathroom where I uncorked the small vial and poured the thick, rose-colored liquid down the drain.
For years I’d been desperate for something to change in my life. Now it had.
I wouldn’t be turning back for anything.
CHAPTER 18
It was still completely dark. Why on earth would the lass have need to run before the sun was even up? He couldn’t see the sense of it, especially when he knew how tired she must be after arriving in Scotland only yesterday. To think of everything that had occurred in only a day made his own head spin. Most people would sleep in at least a little. If this time of morning was sleeping in for her, he knew she had to be an even greater insomniac than wee Cooper.
The only reason he could see her outline in such darkness was the light attached to her forehead. He recognized the contraption as one of Aiden’s tools, and he knew she must’ve borrowed it so that she would be able to see the path ahead of her as she ran. It was smart thinking for there were a number of holes that he wouldn’t wish to come across in the dark if he were traipsing about at such an hour. Only the castle’s pressing restorations had him up at such an hour for the past few months. Normally, he preferred to wake up naturally, when it was light outside.
“She’s a beauty, aye?”
Morna’s voice startled him. As he jumped at the unexpected noise, his forehead bumped into the glass with enough force to elicit an apology from the old witch.
“Ach, I’m sorry, I should’ve made myself known as I approached.”
“What are ye doing up? I dinna wake ye, did I? I made no effort to be quiet, but I thought the tower to be far enough from every other room that there was no fear of me waking anyone.”
“Oh goodness, no. Ye dinna wake me. The older I get, the less I sleep. I doona mind it though. I enjoy being up when most are still asleep. It’s peaceful, aye?”
“Aye, though not peaceful enough to keep me waking at this hour once the castle is done.”
Morna reached up and squeezed his shoulder gently.
“All of ye lads have worked so hard these past months. Ye all need to sleep to yer heart’s content once ye finish.”
Even if Morna usually did wake early, he’d never seen her on any other morning as he and the other men readied to head down the stairwell. If she was here this morning, there was a reason for it.
“What is it, Morna? I can see there is something ye mean to say. Best get on with it. I’ve not much time before I need to join the others for a long day of work.”
“I know ye’ll be busy, with most of ye cutting yer work day short yesterday so everyone could meet Sydney. I know ye’ve time to make up today. I thought perhaps this would be the only chance I’d have to catch ye alone. I just wanted to tell ye that I spoke with the lass last night after ye returned. She was verra amenable to my apology, and she seemed to take everything quite well. I believe Jerry convinced her not to take the potion. I wanted to promise ye that I’ll not use nor offer magic to the girl again.”
He hoped very much that Morna was right about Sydney and the potion. It would be so much easier for all of them if she knew the truth. He didn’t want her to forget anything that had occurred between them.
“I’m glad to hear it, Morna, but ’tis not me ye should be telling. Ye should tell Sydney herself that ye’ll not be using magic on her again.”
“I did. I also decided that I am finished wasting my time or energy worrying about Grier. I still believe we will all have to deal with her now that I know she’s alive, but I willna sacrifice my marriage just so I can worry about what has yet to happen. Jerry was verra forthright with me after I tracked him down last night. I doona think he’s ever been so angry with me. His health is not well, and I’ll not upset him more than need be. He’s demanded I stop, so I shall.”
“But…?” Callum knew she wasn’t finished. If she was, she wouldn’t be pacing around the tower nervously.
She stopped moving and grinned at him. “Ye know me too well. I shouldna say what I’m about to, but I shall. I was simply going to say that Jerry made me swear I will stop worrying about Grier and stop preparing spells
to use against her. I willna break my word, but I gave him no promise that anyone else should stop. Will ye look for her, Callum? I’ll not do anything myself, and I’ll not show Jerry my worry, but I canna bear not knowing what she wants.”
Callum very much wanted to find Grier himself, not just for Morna, but for the sake of his own potent curiosity. Ever since the day of the fire, he’d not stopped wondering about her. But with so much time already passed since he saw her, he doubted his ability to track her down. If she didn’t want to be found, he didn’t imagine she would be. He would look for her to be certain, but he thought it best Morna remain ignorant of his searching. He didn’t want her wondering and worrying about Grier unless he succeeded.
“Why, ye have changed yer tune, have ye not, Morna? Only a few days ago, ye warned me that she planned to interfere with me life, and that I shouldna dare her to do so.”
“Callum.” She looked at him as if she thought him dense. “She already has. Can ye not tell by now?”
Surely, Morna still didn’t mean Sydney. There was no reason for it.
“Doona tell me ye are still suspicious of Sydney?”
“No, I’ve no concern over the lass at all, but that does not mean that Grier has not already interfered. ’Tis no coincidence that Cooper emailed the woman ye saw so many months ago. I’ve not told anyone this, but ’twas Grier who first gave me a taste for matching others with their mates, though this one is not my doing.”
“Ye think Grier means to match Sydney and I? If so, it seems a harmless way to interfere with my life. I like her verra much. I think perhaps Jerry is right. We shouldna think of Grier another moment. I’m sorry, but no, I will not go look for her. Not now. If something else occurs that gives us cause to, I will consider yer request then.”
“Verra well. Perhaps ’tis for the best. I willna press ye.”
She stood and left him without another word. Only once he heard Morna greet someone inside the stairwell did he realize why she accepted his denial of her request so easily. She didn’t want to be overheard. If not for the approaching visitor, she would have given him a much harder time about it.
Love Beyond Belief (Book 7 of Morna’s Legacy Series) Page 9