“All day, lass. I finally decided there is no sense in feigning that I feel worse than I truly do. Ye and Morna have seen me well.”
I knew he was feeling better, but I truthfully thought he was giving me a hard time about his exercises out of stubborn laziness. It hadn’t occurred to me for a second that he’d been trying to pretend he felt bad. I crossed my arms and frowned at him as I sunk down into the comfy chair.
“Why would you ever feign such a thing?”
“Because I wanted to see Callum’s Cagair finished, and I knew that Morna would see me home as quickly as she could if I let her know how well I was feeling. Besides, the plan that Grier and I made would have been too difficult to manage during the castle’s repairs. The completion allows us the perfect excuse.”
Jerry’s mention of said plan before his attack had nagged at me for well over a month, and I’d asked him about it countless times to no avail.
“Oh, so are you finally ready to tell me about it?”
“Aye, Sydney, I think that I am. Will ye keep the secret?”
“Absolutely.”
“I plan to tell Morna that I wish to go down the stairwell—that I wish to see the repaired Cagair myself.”
Everyone in the castle knew of Jerry’s aversion to all things magic. How he ever managed to get himself entwined with not one, but two very powerful witches, I hadn’t a clue. For someone whose life was so inundated with it, he was oddly resistant to it all. I knew full well that his insistence that I not give him Grier’s potion the night of his attack had just as much to do with his fear of magic as it had with him fearing Morna’s reaction to Grier’s part in it.
“She will never believe that. I’ve heard you say that you’d never go back.”
“Well, I’m not keen on it to be sure, but I’ll overcome me own fears if it means putting to bed all of this between the two of them. And it doesna matter if she believes me, lass. All that matters is that she responds as I know she shall.”
“How do you think she will respond?”
He laughed and bobbed his head toward the doorway, twisting toward the entryway as Morna approached. He whispered under his breath to me as his wife stepped inside.
“I’ll show ye. Watch.”
Morna walked in with the widest smile I’d ever seen on the witch. She didn’t seem to see me as she walked over to press a kiss on her husband’s lips.
“Jerry, I’m so pleased to see ye up and out of that bed. Why, surely that means we can return home soon.”
He winked at me over Morna’s shoulder and looked up in answer to her.
“Aye, but first, do ye not wish to go through the stairwell yerself and see the repairs on Cagair before we leave? I willna mind waiting if ye wish for Callum to escort ye through.”
“Ha! Ye are a funny man to suggest such a thing, Jerry. Ye know I’ve no desire to do so.”
“Are ye sure, Morna? Ye might enjoy it. Ye wouldna have to stay for more than an hour.”
She laughed, and I could see she thought he spoke only in jest. I rather pitied her ignorance in this situation. Jerry was taking great advantage of it.
“I’m completely sure. Ye know what? I’ll make ye a deal, Jerry. If ye wish to walk down those steps, I’ll be the first to follow ye.”
Jerry laughed and waved his hand in dismissal.
“Ach, Morna. Ye know me too well. I’d rather walk over hot coals than do such a thing.”
“I know, and I’m glad for it.” Morna bent to kiss him once more then turned to leave the room. “I just wanted to stop in and check on ye. I best get back and work on yer dinner.”
Jerry leaned back in his chair as she left, a look of smugness on his face that astonished me completely.
“What was that? You didn’t tell her that you planned to go through.”
“That was exactly what I knew she would do. And no, I dinna tell her. Not seriously. I’ll only do so when I really mean to walk down those steps. She will follow thinking I’m teasing her once again. Then when I go through, she’ll be so shocked that she’ll run right after me. When we both get through to the other side, Grier will be waiting.”
I leaned forward and pressed my fingertips hard against my forehead. The very thought of the chaos such a plan would cause made my head ache uncomfortably.
“That sounds like a really terrible idea, Jerry. Morna seems to have dropped the Grier thing for whatever reason. Don’t you think you’re better off leaving well enough alone and going on home to forget about it?”
His eyes grew wide as if I’d said something awful.
“Lass, if ye think Grier will allow me to go back on my word to her, then I gave ye a kinder impression of her than I intended. She’s not the wretch Morna thinks she is, but she’s no saint either. I haven’t a choice. Besides, I love that it’s a terrible idea. ’Tis been far too long since I’ve done anything foolish.”
CHAPTER 28
I stood in the kitchen with my back to the entryway, scrubbing dishes with a little more force than necessary to rid myself of the stress Jerry’s words caused me, when I felt Callum’s arms wrap around me. He rested his chin gently on the top of my head and ran his hands up and down my arms as he spoke.
“The castle is finished, and all of the workers from the village are gone.”
I smiled but continued to scrub and rinse the dishes in front of me. “I know. You told me last night this should be the last day of everything.”
“Aye, and it finally is. Will ye stay with me there tonight? I think it would be good luck to have ye there with me my first night back within its walls.”
My hands stilled in the warm water as my pulse sped up significantly. Over the past weeks, we’d grown remarkably close. Our conversations were intimate and our chemistry palpable, but even with as much as he’d kissed, touched, and caressed me, he’d never made any more mention of sleeping with me.
I’d not broached the subject either, enjoying the leisurely pace with which we both seemed to be content. Not that I wasn’t eager for him to take me to bed. I certainly was. And if he was asking outright, I certainly wasn’t going to turn him down. But his question surprised me for another reason as well.
Reaching for the towel spread across the drain tray, I dried my hands but continued to keep my back toward him.
“I thought you didn’t want me going back down the stairwell until Macaslan is caught.” Realization rose within me and I faced him, resting the middle part of my back against the counter. He leaned back just enough so I could see his face. It concerned me to see him so pale. “Are you all right? You look ill. Callum, what’s wrong?”
“Naught is wrong, lass. Macaslan is dead, and I am glad for it. ’Tis only that I canna say I was too fond of the way Laird Allen chose to inform me of his death. I am a traveler, not a warrior. I doona have a thirst for such bloodiness.”
I swallowed and pulled up my nose in curious disgust. “How…how did he inform you?”
“He had a messenger come and roll his head at my feet. Poor Tom wretched at the sight of it while I just paled as if I were a ghost.”
“Here.” I reached up and pulled his head closer to me. “Let me kiss some color back into your face.”
We kissed until we were each breathless and shaky, and embraced as Callum finally spoke again.
“Can I take that as an aye, lass? Ye will stay with me this night? With Macaslan dead, I’ve no reason to fear fer yer safety. ’Twould bring me great happiness to spend the night with ye by me side.”
I smiled against his chest, my entire body already humming with the anticipation of it.
“Yes, I’ll stay. I can’t wait.”
1650
Callum couldn’t remember ever being so nervous. There was much to celebrate. He had no doubt it would be a glorious night, but he wanted everything perfect before Sydney’s arrival.
“Hurry, Jane. It willna take Sydney and Morna long to clean up after the evening meal. She’ll be expecting me to go and get her soon.”
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p; Jane chunked a pillow at his head and laughed loudly as it hit him square in the nose.
“You just need to calm down and take a breath. She’s not going to want to get anywhere near you if you keep sweating like that.”
She walked toward him, gripped both of his arms tightly, and gave him a good shake.
“Seriously, what is the matter with you? Why are you so worked up?”
Women didn’t understand. They expected greatness of them, to be swept up in the act of lovemaking, to be ravished in a way that left them satisfied yet hungry. It was all that men wanted to give their women, too, but it was bloody hard work to accomplish such a feat—especially when one was as out of practice as he was.
“Nothing is the matter, Jane. I’m just verra fond of the lass.”
She glared up at him, completely unsatisfied with his answer.
“Well, duh. We all know that. Oh…” She paused, and he cringed inwardly at Jane’s quick uptake. She knew even without him saying a word. “I see. How long has it been then?”
He pulled away from her grasp and set about lighting the many candles he had scattered about the room. He hoped that if he ignored her question she would eventually give up and go away. It was foolish thinking.
“All right, candle boy. For someone who lost their home to a fire not that long ago, you’re sure getting a little free and easy with the flames. Cool it and answer my question.”
“Jane.” He hung the torch back on its holder on the wall and turned angrily toward her. “’Tis none of yer damn business.”
“Don’t give me that. I was just going to try and give you a pep talk because clearly you are in need of one. Nevermind. I’ll just be on my way. I think I’ll be taking this mighty fine, expensive bottle of wine back with me, as well. I’d rather down it myself than gift it over to you at this point.”
He watched her as she stomped childishly towards the doorway. He waited to speak until she was nearly outside.
“Ye are a pain in me arse, Jane MacChristy. Ye and me brother couldna be a better match for one another. If ye must know, ’tis been two years.”
“What?” Her voice reached an unpleasantly high pitch as she whirled on him.
“Ye heard me just fine, Jane.”
“That’s longer than I went before I found Adwen. Why?”
He ground his teeth together. He wasn’t like his brother. He would never be comfortable speaking of such matters.
“What do ye mean, ‘why?’ Do ye think I did it on purpose? If ye doona recall, I’ve been quite busy over the past few years—running after my father and brother, always getting them out of trouble. I’ve not been in seclusion. I’ve just been distracted.”
Her expression softened as she moved to extend the bottle of wine in his direction.
“Yes, you have been. It’s high time something just for you came your way. I very much hope your abstinence streak ends this evening.” She winked at him as he took the bottle from her hands. “You stay and finish up here. I’m going to light the fireplace in the sitting room downstairs and lay out the cheese Morna gathered up for the two of you. Then I’ll be on my way. Good luck. It’s going to be great.”
He hoped with every breath that it was.
CHAPTER 29
Everything was lovely—the castle looked amazing, the fire warm, the company wonderful, even Morna’s cheese plate was an excellent addition—but for the life of me, it seemed like Callum would never stop talking.
I loved talking to him. I really did. But we’d talked plenty over our last month together. I knew all about his family, his likes, his dislikes, his past adventures, and those he still wanted to take. I knew his favorite foods and those he’d rather never eat again. I knew so many things about him. What I didn’t know was why he’d not tried to sleep with me yet.
I was fine with taking things slow, but with as much as we clearly wanted each other, I couldn’t understand his hesitation. I was ready to move forward with this—more than ready. It had been on my mind every second since he extended the invitation to me this afternoon. Why wasn’t he making a move?
We kissed and cuddled by the fire, but he made no effort to move me upstairs. We stayed curled up on a blanket in front of the fire in the sitting room for the better part of three hours. If he didn’t do something soon, I feared I would fall asleep.
He was droning on about something. At this point, I couldn’t even say what it was. My concentration had completely drifted away from him. Eventually, I couldn’t take any more of it, and the question I’d been wondering all night—or more accurately, for weeks—bubbled out of me.
“Callum, why haven’t you tried to sleep with me?”
I saw the flicker of confusion move across his face as my words pulled him out of his one-way conversation.
“What?”
I scooted closer to him, placing one of my palms against his cheek as I leaned forward to kiss him, shaping my lips to his and tracing the edge of his lower lip with my tongue until he groaned in response and pulled me tight against him.
“I said...why haven’t you tried to sleep with me?”
I pulled away, intent on having a real answer from him before we did anything else. He appeared rather shocked, and I couldn’t tell if it was due to my question or the teasing kiss and quick pull away.
“Surely, ye doona think that I dinna want to, do ye?”
The readiness of him every time he pressed himself up against me assured me that desire was something I didn’t need to worry about.
“No. I haven’t been worried about that. I’m not worried about anything really. I’m just curious. I know that you want me, but you also pull back, always refrain every time we get close to...to actually doing much of anything. Why?”
“Come here, lass. Let me wrap my arms around ye.”
I crawled over to him and settled in between his legs, nestling my back against his chest as he held me close. I loved the feeling of his arms surrounding me. Once we were both comfortable, he spoke again.
“Do ye mind if I tell ye a story?”
“Another one?”
He laughed, leaning around to kiss me roughly on the cheek.
“I’m sorry. I have been speaking too much, aye? Doona worry, this story ye will wish to hear. The first time ye ever saw me was when I picked ye up at the airport, aye?”
“Yes.”
“The first time I saw ye, I thought ye a ghost. Ye were in me bedchamber. I would only see short glimpses, and then ye would fade. Each time I was disappointed when ye left. Ghost or not, I fancied ye even then.”
“Huh?” While he seemed fond of the memory, the whole idea really freaked me out. “How is that possible? Firstly, I’m not a ghost. Secondly, how could you have seen me here months before I actually was here?”
I could feel him shrug against me.
“I doona know. The magic between this Cagair and the next links the two places. Sometimes images show through, but they are always a reflection of what is truly happening on the other side. Ye are the only one that differed. I saw ye before ye arrived, as if ye were destined to be here.”
“I don’t believe in destiny.”
He shifted, backing up to spin me around so we faced one another.
“Aye, I know. Ye think, plan, and worry too much to believe that mayhap some people are meant to be together. I know ye, Sydney. I knew if I dinna tread carefully, if I dinna move slowly with ye, ye would run. Am I wrong?”
I knew he was right. I liked control. It was part of the reason I distracted myself from anything resembling real life for so long. I could control work, but I was significantly less able to control my feelings. And it was the speed at which they developed for Callum that caused me to voice so many misgivings and questions at the beginning of everything. Oftentimes, I found that Callum seemed to have a better idea of what was going on inside me than I did.
“No. You’re not wrong, but I don’t think sleeping together would cause me to freak out and end things.”
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He grinned and shook his head before gathering my hands in his own.
“No, I doona think it would, but ye are far more special to me than that. I dinna wish to take ye to my bed until I made certain ye knew exactly how I felt about ye. And I had no intention of telling ye my feelings outright until I felt I could do so safely, without ye finding an excuse to shut me out. I doona wish to lose ye.”
“I love you.” The words slipped out of my mouth quickly, but I meant them completely.
His reaction was not what I expected. “Do ye say that only so I’ll bed ye, lass?”
“I want you, Callum, but I don’t say things that I don’t mean. I said it because I do love you, and I don’t want you to think that I’m about to flee at any moment. I don’t want you worrying. I’m done holding anything back.”
He stood. The change in his eyes was evident. The caring in them was replaced by need making every inch of me shiver.
“Stand up, lass. Ye know that I love ye. Now, let me show ye how much.”
Free Callum—the one that wasn’t resisting the urge to sleep with me out of a sense of nobility that I was very much glad had finally reached its end—was devastatingly sexy. So sexy, in fact, I wasn’t sure that my out-of-practice body could take it.
While his room had clearly been lit by dozens of candles earlier in the evening, many of them had burned themselves out during the course of Callum’s never-ending conversation. When we entered, only a few remained. They cast a pale light across the bed that only seemed to heighten the urgency of what we both knew was about to come next.
“Do ye know how long I’ve waited to see ye naked, lass?”
He kept both hands on my arms as he walked me to the edge of the bed. He stopped when my legs bumped into the end.
I wore a blue summer-length dress that brought out my eyes. It was comfy, casual, and in no way appropriate for the time, but with everyone gone from the castle, I didn’t think it really mattered. I took a sharp breath as his fingers moved to the zipper at my back. I’d never been so eager to get undressed.
Love Beyond Belief (Book 7 of Morna’s Legacy Series) Page 14