‘Shit!’ Charley stood up with a wobble.
Ella caught hold of her arm as she stood up too. ‘Whoops, better get you to bed,’ she said.
Charley groaned. ‘I am going to be good for nothing in the morning. I shouldn’t get this drunk in the week!’
Back in her own flat, Ella re-opened the bottle of wine she’d started earlier and poured another large glass. Unable to keep still, she couldn’t stop grinning as she took it through to the living room, plonked it down on the coffee table, and flopped dramatically onto the settee.
The evening had gone far better than she’d anticipated. All that stuff with Charley! It hadn’t taken long for her to open up; the poor woman was still grieving after so long. Her emotion was so raw, so animal. It had been terrible to see her suffer like that, pouring her heart out and crying.
But it had left Ella with a job to do – a purpose even. Charley was suffering and it was up to her to help. She needed Ella – she must, because she’d told her all that stuff – and she wanted her friendship.
More to the point, Ella felt worthy. She laughed to herself, stamping her feet lightly on the cushion. She had a friend at last, someone she could turn to, maybe in her darkest moments too. And arranging to go out together the following weekend had been a bonus. She could see them now. They’d be drinking and chatting and dancing. Maybe they’d even do some flirting, get some guys interested, and have a laugh.
But first would be the shopping for new clothes and getting ready for the night out. She wondered if Charley would prefer to come upstairs and get ready here or if she’d be invited to join her downstairs again. She could imagine sitting on the edge of Charley’s bed, painting her nails while Charley applied her make-up. It was going to be such fun; if she could just keep Cassandra at bay, they could have a good evening. She doubted Charley would like Cassandra so much. Charley needed Ella; she didn’t need Cassandra.
Ella poured more wine as she wondered where they could go. Perhaps they would be better going into Newcastle rather than Hanley, though. She’d hate to bump into anyone who might give Charley the wrong impression.
Who are you trying to kid, you stupid bitch? She doesn’t need you.
The words popped into her head as quickly as the recent optimism, pummelling it down and dashing her hopes. She closed her eyes, begging to be left alone. She’d had a good night; didn’t fancy going out again. She wanted to sit at home and think of Charley. Charley was her new friend; she needed her.
She put down her glass and turned on some music. If she didn’t think too much, maybe she could ignore Cassandra. But the louder she turned the music up, the more Cassandra screamed in her ear.
You don’t need anyone but me. All other people do is fuck you up and over. I can show you a good time. I can get rid of your tension. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Ella? Screw away your tension? You would, you dirty little bitch. YOU WOULD.
‘No, no, NO!’
Yes, yes, YES. You think Charley cares about you like I do? She doesn’t give a fuck. I’ll make you happy, Ella. I’m the only friend you need.
Ella emptied her glass and went over to her laptop. She logged onto One Night Only and began to browse through her listings. If no one was around, she’d go out on the prowl. She’d lied when she’d told Charley the time – it was barely eleven o’clock when she’d put her to bed but she’d been too drunk to notice. It left her plenty of time to get laid.
Oh, Ella, you naughty girl. What do you make me do?
When I was seventeen, you found me, didn’t you, Brendan Furnival? I was such a weak bitch, I suppose it was easy for you to get me back in your bed, move me into your scruffy bed-sit. I was in no fit state to do anything else. I was so consumed by alcohol and soon you were using me again for your own purposes. No, actually you abused me to satisfy your own cravings, your own sexual fantasies. I craved love; you wanted sex. There is a difference. It isn’t being forced face down and held while you rammed yourself into me over and over. It isn’t covering my mouth so I can’t scream out in pain. It isn’t throwing me to the ground and then repeatedly kicking me until you have no breath left to do it anymore.
I didn’t deserve what you did to me then the same as I didn’t deserve to be locked up every night in the home when I was fifteen. You didn’t care that what you did was wrong. And then, when I was older, locking me up in your bathroom until I ripped my nails from my fingers trying to claw my way out? Well, that was cruel after what Billie had done. You knew all about that, didn’t you? You were no better than her. You both treated me like an animal. No, actually I bet you wouldn’t have treated an animal that badly. I must have been mad to stay with you for two years.
I can’t believe I married you too – I was so foolish then. You knew that and you took advantage, making me think I was special. I can’t even recall our wedding day, we were so wasted. But you told me every day that you loved me.
Actually you told me every day that you were the only person who could ever love me. You told me that you stayed with me because you felt sorry for me and that no one else would want me. It made me desperate to please you. I went out of my way to get you to love me. You just bought me more alcohol to get me off my head and when I was drunk, practically passed out on the bed, that was when you would screw me. Why did I go back to you?
If it wasn’t for Amy, I would have put a knife through your heart, and turned it to enhance the pain. You were evil to me. And I will get you for it one day.
My darling Amy – where are you now? Do you cry for your mummy? Do you? DO YOU? I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.
Chapter Eleven
Half an hour later, Ella was sitting in a pub in Fenton, while the man behind the bar handed her a double vodka. He was a handsome lad, young, fit, and blond. Ella had purposely come back tonight because he’d seemed interested in her a few weeks ago and she wondered if he was still game. At the time, she’d been waiting for a date to turn up from One Night Only and, once he had, she hadn’t given the blond a second thought.
Aroused by the glint in his eye, she realised he was giving her the come-on again now. It was time to find out if he was all about smouldering looks or if they indeed had unfinished business.
She stepped down from the stool carefully. ‘I’m off to the ladies’ and I might need your assistance if I’m not back in a few minutes,’ she told him pointedly.
‘Sure, whatever you say,’ he winked.
Not entirely sure if that meant he would follow her or not, she walked to the toilets, staggering to the left slightly, and pushed on the door. Behind her, she heard laughter but as she turned her head she didn’t see anyone she knew.
She went into a cubicle, pulled the toilet seat down, and sat with a thump. Resting her head in her hands for a moment, she realised how drunk she was now. But did she care, really? No, not at all.
Even under the influence, her thoughts kept flicking back to Charley. It had been great to spend time getting to know her that evening. She did need a friend and Ella was going to be there for her, no matter what.
Don’t even think about it. She wouldn’t want to know you.
‘Leave me alone,’ she muttered. Then she froze as she heard the door to the ladies’ open, sighed loudly when someone went into the next cubicle. She rested her head on the cold tiles of the wall beside her.
The woman left about a minute later. The outside door opened again and a knock to her cubicle door followed.
‘Are you okay in there?’ a male voice asked.
‘About time!’ Ella drew back the lock.
With a wily grin, he stood with both hands on top of the door frame. ‘You said you might need a hand?’
Ella pulled him into the cubicle, closing the door behind them. She kissed him, pushing him up against the wall in her hurry. His hands were all over her in an instant. She grabbed for the buckle of his belt, her lips
never leaving his. He pushed up her bra and squeezed her breasts firmly. She heard him groan as she found what she was after. His hands moved lower as she pulled him out, relishing the thought of his cock inside her. She had to have him now. There was no time to waste.
The coupling was frantic, a little uncomfortable in the confined space and certainly not the best she’d had by a mile, but it was good enough for her to release the tension. As he bucked for the last time, kissed her for the last time, he grinned.
‘Break over.’
‘I guess so,’ she replied.
‘Vodka on the house?’
She nodded.
He left the cubicle and she tidied herself up in the mirror outside. Her face had the afterglow of sex but she’d been screwed so many times in so many toilets and by so many men, that she was too long in the tooth to let it show. It wasn’t as exciting anymore – thinking she’d get caught had been a thrill at first. Now, she didn’t care. As long as she reached orgasm, the night was good. She could keep Cassandra at bay for a little longer.
Jake had seen Ella go out in a taxi and was hoping she’d return while he worked into the night. He was revising for a test he had at college the next morning, cursing himself for leaving it until the last minute as usual. He’d already got a low mark for the previous one and wasn’t going to flunk this one as well. Despite being known as one of the lads, he was at college to learn. He intended to move out of the city, head to London to up his chances of doing well. Stoke wasn’t the kind of place for him to make serious money. One day, he’d be head of his own company. He wasn’t going to work for anyone else.
When he heard a car approaching along Warwick Avenue, then coming to a halt outside his home, he looked down from his window to see Ella getting out of the passenger seat. He smiled to himself until he saw a man get out of the driver’s side, lock the car, and head towards her as she waited for him on the pavement. Shit, she’d brought someone home to do what he wanted to do.
From his position hidden in the shadows, he could see everything. They were at the door now. He heard Ella laugh and then they were kissing. They didn’t look like they wanted to go in.
He continued to watch them necking on the doorstep. Then, all of a sudden, were they…? They were!
They were screwing up against the wall.
Jake grabbed his phone, zoomed in, and pressed record. Even if the sound wasn’t good, the picture was clear enough. And it beat wanking off over a photograph. Watching the real thing – watching her! Wow, he had got to show his mates this. They wouldn’t believe him otherwise.
Camera pointing directly at them, he zoomed in as much as he could without the image becoming distorted. His free hand pressed on his erection. Man, this was hot. It was even better than viewing a porno. Thank God he hadn’t fallen asleep!
Charley awoke the next morning to the shrill of her alarm clock. She sat upright in a daze, the noise shocking as well as upsetting her; she was usually out of bed before it went off. She reached across to switch if off. Then, as her head began to pound, she dropped back to her pillow.
Her mind returned to the previous evening. She could remember chatting with Ella, cooking something to eat, and then opening another bottle of wine. She recalled laughing a lot too. It had been a good evening but something she didn’t want to repeat on a regular basis during the week. Reluctantly, she dragged herself out of bed to face the day.
Forty-five minutes later, she winced as she closed her front door behind her a little too loudly. God, she was thirty-six – hangovers shouldn’t be this bad, surely?
Since she’d woken up, more flashes of the evening had begun to come back to her. She’d even recalled a steamy conversation about sex. Embarrassment washed over her as she realised she must have been talking about Dan too. It was annoying that she’d got wrecked during the week but even more so knowing that she must have poured her heart out to a near stranger about her grief over losing him.
But then again, she knew with her job just how effortless it was to unburden everything on to another’s shoulders if they were willing to listen. It was so much easier talking to someone you didn’t know. Trouble was, she knew from experience that it was fine to do it with someone you didn’t see on a regular basis but a person you might see a lot? A definite no-no. God, what would Ella think of her?
She heard a door opening upstairs.
‘Hey there,’ Ella shouted down to her. ‘How are you this morning?’
Shit. Charley froze a moment before turning to her. ‘Hi!’ She smiled, voice all bright and breezy. ‘I’m a bit delicate but not too bad. You?’
‘Lousy.’ Ella came down a few steps to her level. Resting a hand on the banister, she grinned. ‘We did have a bit to drink. Sorry.’
‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘I know, but I don’t have to be at work as early as you. I shouldn’t have kept you talking. We just got carried away and one drink led to another. I –’
‘Hey, no one held the glass to my lips.’ Charley paused. ‘Look, I’m sorry if I went on a bit about Dan. Sometimes, especially after a drink, I loosen up and all the old feelings come back. I’m fine, really.’
‘I don’t mind listening. I was hoping that I didn’t go too far with the advice. You did get a little upset.’
‘No, it was okay.’ Charley felt herself blush as she tried to think back to what they had discussed. ‘It was good advice.’
‘You didn’t think I was too harsh?’
‘Of course not,’ she lied.
‘It must have felt good to get it off your chest, though. And I’m always here to listen.’ Ella beamed at Charley. ‘That’s what friends are for.’
‘I guess.’ Charley smiled back.
‘And I’m really looking forward to next Saturday night. I thought maybe we could go into town in the afternoon, if you like? I know you said you had new heels but I wouldn’t mind some new shoes too and maybe a pair of jeans – if I can ever find a comfortable pair to buy. It’s a nightmare, isn’t it, to get a good fit? And I could do with some new lippie and eye –’
‘Whoa!’ Charley held up a hand for Ella to stop. ‘You’ve lost me completely.’
‘Next Saturday, remember? You and I are going out.’
Charley’s shoulders dropped. ‘Forgive me, Ella. I might have agreed to something while I was worse for wear and I wouldn’t want to let you down. What exactly did I say I’d do?’
‘You said you’d come out for a drink with me.’ Ella’s smile faltered. ‘Don’t worry, I can find someone else.’
Charley was mortified to see the look of rejection on Ella’s face. Damn, she couldn’t go back on her word now. Besides, even if some of the night was cringe-worthy due to her drunken ramblings, most of it had been fun. She decided to go along with it.
‘I don’t do clubbing anymore but I’m happy to do a night in a pub, or a couple of pubs?’
Ella brushed aside the remark and turned to leave. ‘No, don’t worry. It’s fine. I can –’
‘– find someone else to go out with, I know. But, hey, do you know what? Maybe I can manage a night. It would be fun to let my hair down once in a while. And you’re right, I have a great pair of heels that have hardly had any wear.’
‘Well, if you’re sure…’
‘I’m sure.’
Ella smiled. ‘It’s a date, then!’
Charley smiled too – at Ella’s delight. It didn’t take much to make her happy, it seemed.
After dozing in the armchair again the night before, Jean too had been woken on Ella’s return in the early hours. So she’d been surprised to see her up and about when she looked out of the window the next morning. She had to hand it to her – the girl had stamina. Jean wished she could have a bit more energy to get her through the perils of old age. Then again, she smiled, she wasn’t sure she’d want to live her
life as vivaciously as Ella.
She reached for her notepad, noted down that Charley had left, and realised she’d been dozing in the chair for most of the night. Insomnia – not good for the soul but something she’d had for several years now. It had started when her late husband, George, died. She’d been up for a few nights after his death, which had upset her routine, and had struggled to get it back into line again. When she’d visited the doctor in a state of desperation, so tired and bone weary, the doctor had told her it was grief related and given her a course of sleeping tablets to knock her out. They’d worked on and off every time she’d taken a course but, once the course was done, she’d be wide awake again at 3 a.m. It was as if her body didn’t know what to do without George to snuggle up to, even after all these years.
Which is why last night she’d been awake again when Ella had arrived home. She recalled hearing a car pull up, the engine die, and car doors slamming before she’d been quick enough to sit forward to look out of the window. He’d been a young thing this time, and his hands had been all over Ella before they’d even got into the house. Ella had run giggling up the steps as he’d cupped her behind, squirmed as he’d tried to get a hand inside her jacket. He’d kissed her neck before turning her round to face him, kissing her again.
As Jean had observed further, she’d had her own private show. A voyeur wasn’t something she wanted to call herself but she had watched as Ella’s stud pushed her up against the wall, his hand up her skirt, the material bunching up her thighs. And then she’d watched in awe as Ella’s pants came down, saw her step out of them, quickly picking them up and shoving them into the pocket of her jacket before pulling him near again. She must have undone his belt because the next thing Jean knew he’d pressed her against the wall, pushing himself into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Mesmerised, she’d watched them together until they finished. He’d fastened his belt and they’d headed indoors.
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