Watching Over You

by Sherratt, Mel

  You know what you should do, don’t you?

  This was all Charley’s fault. Why had she rejected her?

  Don’t you!

  Ella nodded then. ‘Yes, I do,’ she said into the empty room.

  She went through to the kitchen, opened a drawer, and pulled out a box of tablets. Inside were two full strips and one half-empty one. Grabbing a mug from the draining board, she hammered the bottom of it onto the tablets over and over. Then she put the remains in the bin, wiping her hands in satisfaction.

  Way to go, girl. I knew you’d get there again.

  As soon as Aaron returned, Charley rushed outside to greet him.

  ‘What’s up, gorgeous?’ he piped. ‘Missed me already? Or are you after my oatcakes?’

  Charley sighed with relief, her shoulders dropping in dramatic style. ‘Who cares about oatcakes?’

  Aaron’s eyes widened. ‘How can you say that?’ Then, ‘Are you okay?’

  Charley nodded. ‘Yes, but that whole thing with Ella and the girl she insisted on kissing in front of us has really unnerved me. Did she have to be so obvious?’

  ‘Did you realise she liked a bit of both before today?’ Aaron closed the front door behind him.

  ‘Not really. But it was strange, don’t you think? The way she wanted us to see. And she was with your friend Steve last weekend!’

  ‘She has a bloody active sex life, then!’ Aaron kissed her lightly on the nose before heading down the hallway.

  Charley slapped his bottom playfully.

  ‘She’s jealous, my love,’ he added.

  Charley dismissed the thought. Ella couldn’t be envious of her and Aaron already. Could she? Determined not to let the incident ruin her mood, she smiled up at him.

  ‘Why don’t we have a nosy around Trentham Estate after we’ve eaten breakfast? It’s only twenty minutes walk from here.’

  An hour later as they set off along Warwick Avenue, Charley still couldn’t get Ella’s outburst from her mind. As she walked away, her hand tucked inside Aaron’s, her eyes were drawn up towards the top floor.

  Ella was standing in the window.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ella watched Charley and Aaron until they were out of sight, wondering where they were off to now. She thought about following them but couldn’t be bothered. It would only remind her of what a failure she was.

  She turned back to face the room, feeling its emptiness and chaos seeping into her bones. Maybe they’d be back soon and she could imagine they were having sex downstairs. Or maybe they were going out to buy a picnic, finger food to eat in bed as they cuddled together before screwing. That’s what couples did of a Sunday afternoon, didn’t they?

  How would you know what other couples do? No one wants you.

  ‘Shut up!’

  You’re a freak – a pitiful example of a woman on the edge. Charley will see through you now – you’ve messed up by having a go at her, you stupid bitch.

  ‘No!’ Ella removed her dressing gown, shoved on a tracksuit and trainers, and ran out of the house. She wasn’t going to stay there to be insulted.

  And if she was quick, she might be able to catch up with Charley and Aaron.

  The Trentham Estate was a place that Charley had visited umpteen times since she’d been a small child, although it had been mainly gardens then. During that time, its seven hundred plus acres had developed into so much more, attracting over three million visitors per year. But it was the Shopping Village that was Charley’s favourite place to stroll around. Once she and Aaron had wandered around the garden centre, they made their way across the car park towards it.

  In between the timber lodges selling local pottery, woollen attire, and all sorts of accessories to delight any home, Charley couldn’t help wondering if everyone would see how happy she and Aaron were just by looking at them. It was often obvious to her when she’d seen other couples; surreptitious kisses, holding hands, wrapping arms around each other, feeling the need to be close again, in constant contact. A ludicrously warm feeling flowed through her.

  ‘Wow, there’s such a great choice of food in here,’ Aaron said, after they’d been inside Brown and Green’s for a few minutes. He picked up a pot of Beetroot and Cracked Black Pepper Chutney. ‘We should take some of this for later, perhaps? Be nice to have it with some of those breads catching my eye over there.’

  ‘Assuming I let you stay around later. I might have things to do on my own,’ Charley teased.

  ‘I doubt that.’ She felt his arm slip around her waist. ‘You can’t get enough of me.’

  ‘You’re so smug.’

  ‘Attractive! I’m so attractive. You need to learn that word!’

  Charley giggled, almost high with lust. God love those happy pheromones. She picked up a basket and placed the chutney inside it. A picnic in bed – now, there was a thought for later.

  A few feet away, in the throng of Sunday shoppers, Ella cursed when she saw them head into David’s Brasserie. How the hell was she supposed to keep an eye on them now?

  Out of sight, she sat on a bench in the middle of a large paved area while people walked past her, oblivious to her angst. Hidden behind a white flowering hydrangea bursting out of a wooden planter, she waited for them to reappear. She’d sit there for an hour if she had to until they came out again.

  But a minute later, she saw a young waiter showing them to a table outside. He handed them both menus before moving to the next table to take down an order for another couple. Ella locked her eyes onto them, seeing Charley move her head forward, laughing at something Aaron had said, leaning across the table to touch his hand.

  ‘It’s so obvious they’ve been screwing,’ she muttered. ‘They can’t keep their hands off each other.’

  As if to prove her point, Aaron wiped a strand of Charley’s hair away from her face, cupped her chin in his hands. Envy rushed through Ella as he kissed Charley gently. For fuck’s sake, they weren’t even sitting opposite each other at the table; they were next to each other, as close as close could be.

  She doesn’t need you. I told you so.

  Seeing the waiter return with coffee and two slices of cake was more than she could bear. Ella stormed off back towards the garden centre.

  ‘Move!’ She pushed rudely past a young couple out with a newborn baby in a pram.

  Oblivious to their protests, Ella strode away, unable to look at them. She couldn’t stand to see any more – couldn’t stand to see anyone. It was all so lovey-dovey. It made her sick!

  Once back at the house, Ella tore up the stairs and into the flat. She marched through her bedroom and into the closet where she sat on the floor, hoping to calm down. But the darkness overwhelmed her, giving her a sense of foreboding, and minutes later, she was out again, pacing the hallway.

  It was all her fault, Miss new lodger. Ella needed sex now, would have to go out on a mission later.

  No, it had to be now.

  She raced through to the bedroom where she stripped, leaving her clothes in a heap on the floor. Talking dirty, she masturbated harshly while in the shower, crying out loudly as she came. Still, it wasn’t enough. Thinking of them together angered her. If she went out, she could pick up a fuck – someone had to give her what she needed.

  Someone had to want her eventually.

  You’re feeling sorry for yourself now. You don’t need anyone else but me.

  But once out of the shower, Ella lost interest in her plan and opened a bottle of vodka instead. She stood in the window, looking out onto the avenue. Across the road, she could see a figure in the window of number thirty-six. She squinted. Was it him? She staggered to the right slightly, holding onto the window frame for support. Yes, it was Jake.

  Ella undid her dressing gown. Then slowly, she slipped it from her shoulders and let it drop. Might as well give him somethin
g to look at, she mused.

  ‘Fucking hell!’

  ‘See, I fucking told you,’ Jake said, hardly able to keep the excitement from his voice. ‘I said I wasn’t making it up.’

  ‘Fuck, yeah, I see her.’ Will peered through the binoculars again. ‘She’s got her hands on her tits.’

  ‘Let me look!’

  Jake tried to grab the binoculars but Will dodged him.

  ‘No, this I have to see.’

  After a few seconds, Jake was beside himself. ‘For Christ’s sake, let me look!’ he said again.

  ‘In a minute!’

  ‘What’s she doing now?’

  ‘Ohmigod, she’s – she’s playing with her pussy. Fuck, I’m so horny watching this. Don’t your olds ever see her?’

  ‘If they do, they don’t say anything. Mum and Dad sleep in the back room. Mum would go mental if she saw her anyway, so no telling anyone.’

  ‘I won’t. Don’t want to spoil the fun. What’s her name – do you know?’

  ‘Ella.’

  ‘Well, hello, Ella.’ Will turned briefly towards Jake. ‘You should film her – so you can watch it when she isn’t there. It’s awesome.’

  ‘I have.’

  ‘What – doing that?’

  ‘Yeah. I’ve got her screwing some lucky bastard against the wall outside her door, too.’

  ‘Fuck. Off!’

  Jake nodded. ‘I’ve been watching her for about a month now. It beats bashing the bishop over a magazine.’

  Will paused, licking his bottom lip. ‘You filmed her doing that?’

  ‘Oh, yeah.’

  ‘Let me see.’

  ‘No way.’ Jake shook his head fervently. ‘You can watch the real thing and that’s it.’

  ‘You’re such a lucky bastard.’ Will looked through the binoculars again.

  ‘Two more minutes and I want them back.’

  ‘Jake!’ a voice shouted up the stairs. ‘Can you give me a hand for a moment?’

  Both boys moved from the window quickly. Jake threw himself on top of the bed and Will crashed down into the chair at his desk, the castors rolling him across the laminated flooring. A moment later, they burst into laughter.

  ‘Jake!’

  ‘I’m coming!’

  Will sniggered. ‘Ella seems to be.’

  ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’

  As soon as he was gone, Will grabbed Jake’s phone from the desk and rushed to the door. Keeping it ajar so he could see when his friend was coming back, he searched through the files until he located the ones he was after. Bingo! Not knowing which one he needed, he synched his own phone with Jake’s and began to copy one.

  It took less than a minute but it felt like forever. ‘Come, on, come on,’ he whispered. When he’d done that one, he wondered if he’d have time to do the other. He started, but aborted it when he heard Jake thundering up the stairs towards him.

  He put the phone down and raced back to the window. Annoyingly, Ella was nowhere to be seen now.

  ‘She’s gone,’ he told Jake.

  ‘What?’ Jake snatched back the binoculars and looked for himself. His shoulders dropped. ‘Did you see her finish off?’

  ‘Oh, yes.’

  ‘Shit.’

  Behind him, Will sat on Jake’s bed and grinned, his hand on the phone in his pocket. Yes, Ella might have gone, but he’d be able to watch and enjoy her later on his own. Then maybe Callum would like to see it, and Phil, and Mitch. Fuck, he reckoned most of his mates would burst while viewing the clip if it was anything like what he’d seen her doing in the window just then.

  Over the next week, Charley and Aaron saw each other most evenings. Ella kept her distance and Charley didn’t see Sabrina visiting again. The following weekend was spent mostly at Aaron’s house so on Sunday evening, Charley cooked him a meal at her flat. Afterwards, they sat together on the settee.

  ‘Want a cuppa?’ she asked after a while.

  ‘Hmm?’ Aaron didn’t take his eyes from the football match he was watching on the television.

  Charley stood up. Still he watched the screen. She laughed.

  He looked at her then. ‘What?’ he said eventually.

  ‘We’ve only been dating for a fortnight and already we’re like an old married couple.’

  ‘We’ll be visiting IKEA soon, then.’ Aaron grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. ‘It’s called contentment.’

  ‘It’s called football fanatic.’ She pushed him away playfully. ‘Tea or coffee?’

  ‘Coffee, please.’ Aaron sat forward and raised his hand in the air. ‘Aw, come on! Did you see that? The ref must be blind – he was definitely offside.’

  Charley smirked and went through to the kitchen. Despite the football match taking his attention, she did feel content. She reckoned it was a good sign that they felt so comfortable together already.

  As she filled the kettle with water, she noticed the outside light glaring across Ella’s garden. It was still on once she’d made the drinks so she stepped outside to investigate. In the quiet of the evening, she could hear crying from Ella’s garden. She waited for a moment, unsure whether to let her know she was there or not. But as she heard another sob, she couldn’t help but open the side gate.

  ‘Ella?’

  She was sitting on the doorstep, arms wrapped tightly around her knees. She looked like she was trying to make herself seem smaller.

  ‘Yes, s-me.’

  ‘Are you okay?’

  Ella shook her head.

  ‘Would you rather I left you alone?’

  ‘No.’

  Charley sat down next to her on the step. Ella’s cheeks were wet with tears. From the smell of her breath, it was clear she’d been drinking.

  ‘What am I going to do, Charley?’ she said. ‘My life – it’s so fucked up.’

  ‘I bet it isn’t,’ Charley spoke softly to her. ‘We all mess up but it’s how we choose to handle things afterwards that builds character.’

  ‘Then I have no character because I’ve messed up all my life.’

  ‘I bet you haven’t,’ she soothed, although inwardly she’d begun to wonder.

  Ella snorted. ‘You don’t know the half of it. I don’t know why I care about it, really – no one cares about me.

  ‘Of course they do!’

  ‘They don’t.’ Ella shook her head vehemently. ‘I wish I could get so drunk that I’d pass out and forget everything. And I don’t want to keep going out to…’ She paused.

  There was silence for a moment.

  Charley couldn’t help but pity her. Here she was spending an evening laughing and joking with Aaron and here was Ella, lonely and turning to drink for a companion.

  ‘I don’t mean to pry,’ she said, ‘but haven’t you any friends that you can visit, or maybe family? I bet if they knew you were so unhappy, they’d want to help.’

  ‘I haven’t got any family, or friends. No one can help me anyway. I’m beyond help, apparently.’

  ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘Lots of people.’ Ella pointed to her temple. ‘I have mental scars that will never heal. No matter what I do to myself, or what other people do to me, I’m fucked up anyway.’

  ‘Maybe there’s someone I can get to –’

  ‘She’s coming back to get me.’ Ella began to cry. ‘And there’s nothing I can do to stop her.’

  ‘Who’s coming back?’

  ‘She is – she takes over my life, my head! I have to do what she says and I don’t like it. She scares me, Charley. I don’t even like her.’

  ‘Who scares you?’ Charley leaned closer. ‘Ella, has someone hurt you?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then what?’

  ‘It’s her! I just told you! She messes with my head
and makes me do things. I don’t want to do what she says. I want to be normal and have friends and a boyfriend like you have Aaron and I want a house like you used to have and I want another baby and I want to be in love and –’

  ‘Everything all right out here?’ Aaron appeared in the gateway.

  ‘What the fuck does he want?’ Ella muttered.

  ‘Ella!’ Charley admonished.

  ‘Well, everything was good until he showed up.’

  ‘That’s not a nice –’

  ‘Leave me alone!’ Ella stood up and went inside. ‘Mind your own business, both of you.’

  Charley shouted after her but Ella shut the door. With a shrug, she turned to Aaron.

  ‘What was all that about?’ he asked as she drew level with him.

  ‘I’m not sure.’ Once back in her own garden area, Charley closed the gate behind them. ‘She’s so manic,’ she went on. ‘One minute she’s smiling and laughing; the next she’s having a go with the sharpest of tongues. I don’t think I’ll ever understand her. I’m sure she’s just said something about a baby too.’

  ‘A baby?’ Aaron looked perplexed. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Well, yes, I’m sure, but she’s never mentioned anything before.’

  ‘Perhaps she doesn’t want you to know about it. Or perhaps it isn’t true?’

  ‘Perhaps.’ But Charley wasn’t convinced. Wasn’t she already questioning Ella’s constant attention seeking? Maybe it was another cry for help, letting her know a little more of her background.

  ‘She’ll be fine,’ Aaron said soothingly. ‘I doubt she’ll remember any of it in the morning.’

  ‘I know, but –’

  Aaron took hold of her hand. ‘If you’re that worried about her, talk to her when she’s sober and see if you can help.’ He pulled her towards the door. ‘Come back inside.’