by Bry Ann
I glance at her hands, painted with dark blue nail polish on her delicate fingers. They are shaking. I have control once again. It’s what you desire most, that is your true weakness.
“What’s in it for me?”
Her eyes go wide. Along with Mike’s, who is sitting by us.
“I... well, that’s… that’s not how this works.”
I lean in, close to her face. She freezes and doesn’t move. “It does in my world little Rose.”
“I…” she clamps her jaw shut and hardens her face, “You are in my world now. Here we do favors for each other.”
I lean back and stuff a bite of pizza in my mouth. “Not me.”
“But why?” she blurts out, sounding too desperate and she knows it.
“Not saying I'm gonna tell. Just saying I don’t know if I am or not.”
I'm not. At least for now. She gives me such a hard look I can see the word ‘asshole’ on the tip of her tongue. I so wish she’d just say it.
I notice she hasn’t touched her food. She’s looking at it like she wants to eat, but the thought makes her sick. I take my hand, pure gold rings decorating my fingers, and push her plate forward.
“Eat.”
She looks at me. There’s hardness, but a faint hint of vulnerability. “I… well, I'm gonna ask Rosa for red pepper flakes.” She grabs her tray. “Kev’s got it for a minute.”
She’s lying.
I push the tray back down and give her my hardest look. Suddenly I'm not playing, and that’s just… strange. Interesting to observe.
“I know a liar when I see one. Eat. You can live without red pepper flakes.”
“How…?” She shakes her head and sits down quietly, gently picking up a piece of pizza and bringing it to her mouth.
When we are all done eating Rose and Kev stand, helping us with the cleanup. Kev starts explaining afternoon schedules. I glance over to where Rose stands in the back, watching us. Observing, ready to step in at the first sign of trouble. Interesting little Rose, we have a lot in common. Except I look to cause trouble, not stop it.
***
Three Weeks Later:
The first two weeks, I nearly lost my shit. Then, like I always do, I adapted. I used all my free time to make plans. Plans that have changed ever so slightly since first arriving here. I'm close to being released. I can feel it. I’ve played everyone like a drum, except for Rose. I don’t need to play her. She’s just a pawn. The only person she could tell is that Kristy chick I met the first day, but she wouldn’t do that. She wants to prove herself too much. It pisses Rose off knowing I'm going to get out without having learned anything, and having played everyone. Even their dumb psychiatrist.
We are all headed to lunch. Both units eat together now, men and women. And I have to say, the only thing more pathetic and depressing than the men here are the women. Jesus.
I sit by three women. I spend every waking moment with the other five idiots. At least these women give a different scene, different people to read.
Rose walks over to two of them. One is clearly here for an eating disorder of some sort. Rose leans down in front of them.
“I just want you guys to know you are beautiful. I'm proud of you no matter what, but I know you can do this.”
“Thank you Rose,” one of them says, lower lip wobbling.
She nods, squeezes their shoulders and starts to walk off. I quickly grab her hand.
“I'm not beautiful. I'm hurt,” I place a hand over my heart mockingly.
“You’re not a girl.”
“Boys can be beautiful too. How sexist.”
“You’re so handsome Sven.” She rolls her crystal clear blue eyes. I see her mouth the words, ‘but I think you know that’. I laugh.
“Why thank you little Rose. I find you quite stunning myself.” She glares at me. Like she hates me. When I know she doesn’t. She wishes she did. “What I’d say?”
Oh, she wants to tell me to go fuck myself so bad, but she’d never do that, not here. She huffs and walks off.
“Enjoy lunch!” she snaps to the group before walking out, leaving us with the two other techs.
Boring. I’m almost done. I’m almost done. Hang in there Sven. Then you will get what you want.
Marcelo’s job.
Then bosses.
First, I have one more game to play with little Rose. One I can’t pass up.
Lunch ends and we leave to go to our respective areas for an hour of free time. My favorite time. My time to plan. I am walking to the main area when I see a girl bouncing around on one foot. I look over. Sure enough, hidden in the corner is Rose trying to put on her other heel.
I walk over casually and place my hand on her shoulder, steadying her. She jumps, nearly falls over but I grab her hip and hold her in place. The second my hand lands on her hip bone time freezes. My body needs her. Now. Fuck everything else. Her eyes reflect the lust I know we are both feeling. There is no way to deny what happened when I touched her just now. She’s mine. I'm going to be boss and she will be mine.
End of fucking story.
Her breath hitches and she steps back, finally getting her heel on. My eyes rake over her body. My cock swells and eyes darken with every inch of her I take in. She’s wearing a tight black skirt, strappy black heels and a black halter top that leaves little be imagined. I want to strip her right here and fuck her senseless, but obviously, I can’t really do that. Not right here at least.
“Where are you going?” I growl.
“Um… I … I asked off early today.”
Her cheeks turn red.
“Where. Are. You. Going. Rose?”
“None of your business Sven!”
She places her hands on her hips and glares at me. I walk towards her. Not stopping. She steps back, heart pounding in her chest. I nearly miss it, but I'm more than attuned to this stuff.
“What are you doing Sven?” she asks breathlessly when I'm right in front of her.
I trace my thumb along her pouty lower lip. “I always get what I want little Rose.”
“No,” she whispers, fighting herself.
“Yes.”
I grab the back of her neck and kiss her. I don't fuck around either. My tongue slips into her mouth and my teeth rake against her lower lip. She whimpers and pushes me away, very delicately.
“We… We can’t,” she says shakily.
“But you want to,” my finger traces her collarbone.
“Sven you’re…”
“A patient.”
“A criminal.”
I smile. “Yes I am.”
“Okay so…”
“So…” I cock an eyebrow.
“Sven! I could get fired. I… Sven, your people.”
Real fear crosses her face.
“It’d be one time. No one’s going to go after a girl I fucked once,” I laugh. She doesn’t. Not at all.
“I have morals.”
She skirts past me. “Thanks for your help, but I'm not getting fired over you.”
She says it like I'm the scum of the earth.
Oh little Rose, rage swells in my chest, you are going to regret saying that. Regret insulting me.
This time frame just got moved the hell up.
I stalk back down the hallway.
Chapter 5:
Rose:
One Week Later:
I asked Kev to help with Sven. I’ve barely seen or talked to him since the kiss. That kiss made me… I can’t even think about it. I’ve never felt anything like that. But he’s in the goddamn mafia! It’s easy to see the show he puts on here and forget his life of violence, crime and pain. Plus, he’s a patient. It’s not even a hard limit. It’s a solid brick wall of a limit, and he still looks at me like he’s going to win. I hate him.
“Rose! Can we speak to you for a moment? I would get you and Kev, but Kev needs to watch them. I’ll have you tell Kevin,” Mr. Rollins says.
“Sure. What’s up?”
“My office.”
He extends his arm and I walk into his office where Dr. Bradford is already seated. My heart starts pounding. It’s been a week, but did they find out about the kiss? No, they can’t have. Oh my gosh. I’ll die if that’s the reason I get fired.
“Ye…. yes?” I ask, hands shaking. Totally ready to cry.
Dr. Bradford laughs. “Rose, you look so nervous. It’s nothing bad.”
“Oh,” I exhale heavily. Mr. Rollins looks at me curiously but doesn’t say anything. I don’t either. It’s best they forget that little mini panic attack.
“No, the reason we brought you in here is because a client is graduating.”
I sit up straighter. A huge smile spreads across my face. Maybe it’s Ben. He deserves it. He’s been so good with his meds and hasn’t had an episode in a while.
“Yes! Sven Xander. He’s done everything we’ve asked. He’s opened up about his past, which is the strongest indication he’s not messing with us. He’s been very open in the group, well behaved despite what’s typical of him. We think he’s ready.”
My heart explodes in my chest. “No! He’s not ready.”
Both of them look at me curiously. “Is there something we don’t know about Rose?”
YES! I'm really scared what he’s gonna do when he gets released. Why do I feel like I’m in danger? Is this why he’s been looking at me so smug all week? He knew! He’s been planning this.
Shit.
And I insulted him. Really shit.
“Um no. I just really don’t think he is ready.”
“Rose, you know we respect your opinion. You’re a very smart girl,” but… “but it is our professional opinion that we have no further reason to hold him here.”
“So, he commits a crime and spends just one month in treatment!”
“It’s not our place to say. Our job is to say when he is ready to be released back into society. To report whether or not he’s participated in treatment.”
“This is bullshit!”
Both of them look at me shocked. I never act this way at work.
“Jeff, do you mind if I have a moment alone with Rose here?”
“Of course,” Mr. Rollins says. He pats my back on the way out.
Shit. Dr. Bradford knows my background. I'm so stupid. Once the door clicks shut Dr. Bradford turns to me in full on psychiatrist mode.
“Rose. I am aware of what he is. Has he threatened you in any way? Is there anything I don’t know? This behavior is unlike you.”
“No… he hasn’t threatened me.” Maybe it’s all in my head. I don’t know.
“Please sit Rose.”
Uh, I’d rather not. I take a seat anyway though. Dr. Bradford is very kind. He almost reminds me of Santa in a weird way. A full white beard, beer belly, rosy cheeks and kind eyes. Kind, penetrating eyes that see right into your soul!
“I’ve been worried about you. Kristy has too.” The two people who know my past. Just great. “You look thin. You seem agitated. How are you doing?”
“Fine.”
“Come on Rose. I’ve known you for years. You know I'm not going to buy that. Be honest with me.”
“I don’t know if it is all in my head,” I confess.
“What do you mean?”
“I feel like… I don’t know. He hasn’t threatened me, but I feel like he’s gonna do something to me when he leaves. I feel threatened. Even though he hasn’t threatened me. Oh my God, I'm going crazy. You’re going to commit me.”
I drop my face into my hands. “Rose, Rose listen to me. It makes sense.”
My head snaps up. “It does? I'm not crazy.”
“No Rose. You’re not crazy.” Just hearing those words from him makes me feel so much better. “It makes sense. You were caught off guard as a child. Although this is a much different scenario, you don’t want to be caught off guard again. You just have to realize that just because somebody is criminal doesn’t mean they have a connection to you. Does that makes sense?”
“Yes Dr. Bradford. Thank you so much. I feel… a lot better.”
“Rose. My door is always open to you. Anytime.”
“Thank you,” I stand up. “Honestly, that helped a lot. It’s just good to know I'm not crazy.”
He chuckles. “You’re not crazy Rose, but please, eat a little more okay?”
“Yes sir.” I blush.
“Good. Now go grab Sven for me so I can let him know.” Just like that, my heart rate picks up again. “Rose. Our talk. Remember okay?”
“Yes sir. Grabbing him now.”
I scatter out of the room. Kev is with Ben and Will. Sam, Carson and Mike are doing a puzzle, and Sven is writing. A lot. He’s so focused. I stare at him for a moment. He’s usually annoyed, bored or playful, but right now his eyebrows are furrowed in dark concentration. I want to know what he’s writing. As quietly as I can I walk over there. I look over this shoulder. I have my eyebrows furrowed, trying to make out his small, perfectly capped handwriting when he catches me. Without even looking up or stopping what he’s doing.
“You can keep reading, but be prepared for the consequences of having this knowledge.”
I leap back. He laughs and sets his pen down, folding the paper and placing it in his pocket. “Oh, she speaks to me again.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you.”
He side stares at me. “Don’t lie little Rose.”
“Fine, I was. Anyway,” I quickly change the subject before he brings up the kiss, “Dr. Bradford wants to speak with you.”
An evil smile spreads across his lips. “Now does he?”
“Yes.”
Sven stands up. All six feet three of him, towering over me. He gets right in my space and gently pushes my hair back, making sure no one is looking.
“This is where it gets fun little Rose.”
He taps under my chin and walks off. I stop breathing. My heart stops beating.
You just have to realize that just because somebody is criminal doesn’t mean they have a connection to you.
You just have to realize that just because somebody is criminal doesn’t mean they have a connection to you.
… But what he said had to mean something, right?
Am I losing it for real?
I run to the restroom and stare at myself in the mirror for several long minutes before walking back out. I run straight into Kev.
“Hey Kev,” I say shakily.
“Hey Rose. I wanted to ask you something before we start our paperwork.”
“O… kay.”
“Um, I was wondering if you wanted to… well, um, if you wanted to go out with me. Tonight. Um, yeah. I think you’re really great Rose.”
My head rears back in shock. What? Kev? Likes me. Really? I'm tempted to say no, because I don’t really like him that way, but Kev is super nice, hard-working, he respects me. I’d be an idiot to say no. I mean he’s good looking too, with his abs and dirty blonde surfer hair. We have similar interests.
“Uh sure. Yeah, I’ll go out tonight… with you.”
“Really?” His eyes light up. “Great. Um, seven? So we both have time to get off work, relax a sec and get ready.”
“Sounds great Kev.”
His whole face is so lit up, it actually makes me feel really good. “Thanks Rose.”
He scatters off. I shake my head and smile. I don’t like him that way, but maybe I could learn to.
“Really? That guy?”
I spin around to see Sven standing leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The top buttons of his shirt are undone and the gold rings he always wears glisten in the light. I’ve always known this, but he just ingrains it further in my head. Evil sure is beautiful.
“Congratulations on your discharge Mr. Xander.”
Distance. Put. Distance. Between. Us. He ignores what I say and stalks towards me with dark eyes. He runs his hand along my chin. His touch is soft compared to the rough feel of his skin, but I know. I know it’s a threat.
�
��Call me what you want little Rose, but you’re mine.”
“No.”
“You’ll see.”
He tears his hand away and stalks off, angry. I can feel it emanating off him, even though he manages to stay in control.
“Sven! Sven!” I scream.
No.
I drop my face into my hands. I'm in real trouble. I know it, and no one will ever believe me. Because it’s me. Because I have PTSD. Because of who my father is.
Chapter 6:
Sven:
Two Weeks Later:
“This is really what you want?” Boss cocks an eyebrow. “You manage to get on my good side. You get one wish and this is what you want. Tell me why.”
I smirk. I’ve already been made caporegime. I was nothing but a soldier when I started. I am happy enough with that promotion. I can’t take the fun out of everything, now can I?
“Let’s just say I have unfinished business there.”
Boss smirk matches mine. Despite planning to destroy him, I actually like the guy. I wouldn’t end him if it wasn’t the only way to become the boss. To prove I'm worthy of being boss. We think alike. We are two of a kind.
“Do tell. I like to play too.”
Oh, I know boss. This is why I’ll be underboss soon.
“There’s a girl…”
“Must be some girl to want to buy out the whole fucking center.”
I smile. “Oh, she is.”
My cock swells just thinking about her. Her lips on mine. The silkiness of her skin. Her strong will despite her fragility. Then her insulting me. Rage slowly seeps in.
“She has a lesson to learn. One I don’t plan on teaching the easy way.”
“Will I get to meet this girl?” He lights a cigarette and brings it to his lips.
“Oh. You will be seeing a whole lot of her.”
“Consider it done. Oh and Xander…”
“Yes Boss.”
His eyes narrow. “Consider the path you’re on. Positions change.”
An evil understanding crosses between us. Bye Marcelo. “Will do boss.”
“Have fun. I will contact you if I need you.”
“Waiting for your call, as always.”
Then I leave. I can hardly wait. Boss is a man of his word. A man of action. It’s how he becomes the boss of the five families. He doesn’t hesitate. There is no wasted time. I can hardly sleep that night. Knowing. Just knowing. I can’t wait to see her face when she finds out…