by Meara Platt
“I don’t despoil virgins. We’ve already crossed the line.”
“What line?”
“Any line. Though we needed to stop at this inn for your sake, I ought to have taken another room. I shouldn’t be in here. With you.”
She reached out and took his hand. “Ewan, I’m glad you’re with me. Here. Now. I was scared and frantic a few hours ago, and now I feel as though I’m in heaven. You make me feel this way. The whole time I was at Sparrow Hall, I thought of you. I knew you’d come for me, and that knowledge kept me sane and breathing. I loved the touch of your hands on my body as I bathed, the hungry warmth of your lips on mine. You washed away the stench of my ordeal.”
“Och, Lily—”
“Ewan, I love you.”
His heart shot into his throat. Lord, those words. Simple words. I love you. They felt so right and natural, and all the more wonderful because they came from Lily. “You’re overwhelmed right now, lass. You only think you do because you believe I saved you. I didn’t. You had already escaped on your own.”
“You did save me. I wouldn’t have made it very far on my own. I know the difference between love and gratitude. I love you. I’ve felt this way for quite some time.”
“We’ve only known each other a month.”
“I know. But these feelings I have for you seem eternal. They’re powerful and deep, as though existing since the beginning of time. I don’t know how else to explain it.” She cast him a poignantly hesitant smile. “They’re not always good feelings. When I saw you with Callie—”
“She means nothing to me. Not anymore.”
“But she did once,” she said quietly. “I’d never experienced jealousy before. It’s such an ugly sensation. I didn’t want her to have you. I wanted you all to myself, no sharing with anyone else. My feelings were little different from what Ashton screamed out. You’re mine. No one else will ever have you. Of course, I know that you’re free to choose whomever you wish to love. I would never have acted upon my feelings as he did, not in that ugly way.”
Her lips began to tremble and tears welled in her eyes. “I’ll always love you, Ewan. No matter what happens once we’re back in London. I know you’ll leave soon. I may never see you again. I wanted this precious time with you. I wanted your hands on my body and your lips on mine... I wanted the magical experience that my married sisters told me about. I want all of it. Now. With you. I can’t imagine it being magical with anyone else.”
Her words were like arrows shot straight through his heart. She loved him, or so she thought. Lily knew books. She didn’t know life. He’d taken advantage. He’d told the innkeeper she was his wife. Had Lily mistaken it as a declaration of his love? He was a miserable cur. “Lass, get some rest. We’ll speak of it later.”
She shook her head and frowned. “Oh, I see. You feel responsible for me. You think I don’t know my own mind and will regret it later. You think I’ll blame you and expect you to protect me from my own mistakes. You mustn’t feel any obligation on your part. None whatsoever.” A tear slid down her cheek.
Thwack! Not just an arrow through his heart. A damned harpoon. The sort that brought down whales. “Those are your terms? I’m to show you a good time without facing any of the consequences?”
She nodded.
He wasn’t a London gentleman, but Highlanders had their rules of honor. She was his, whether or not she realized it yet. He’d sealed their fates the moment he’d called her his wife and asked for a single room. He’d said it out of a need to protect her. He’d said it because he couldn’t bear to have her out of his sight. The damn, rotten thing about it was that calling her his wife had felt great. Felt right. He’d talk to her father. No question about it, they’d have to set a wedding date. “We have a deal.”
“We do?” She didn’t seem quite so sure of herself now.
“But I’m adding one requirement to this arrangement. You can say no at any time and I’ll back off. At any time, Lily. You’re safe with me. I’m not taking you against your will.” He wanted her now, was on-hands-and-knees-begging desperate to have her. But he’d wait until their wedding night if he had to. He wanted to make Lily happy. Seeing her shed tears of regret would kill him.
She pursed her lips, obviously contemplating his proposal as though negotiating a contract. The girl couldn’t see the forest for the trees. She didn’t realize that he was negotiating for her heart. “Seems only fair to agree to reciprocal terms, Ewan. You can say no as well and I’ll stop whatever it is I’m supposed to stop.”
He let out a groaning laugh. “No, lass. I’ll no’ wish to stop.” He knelt beside her to caress her cheek. “It’s you who must be free of doubts.”
She leaned forward, her damp hair spilling over her shoulders in glorious disarray, and kissed him lightly on the mouth. She drew back smiling. “I’m sure. You’re giving this far too much thought. I suppose it’s what makes human males different from baboon males. When the male baboon feels the urge, he relieves it. Did you know that female baboons have their own tricks to attract a male and heighten his pleasure?”
He gulped. “No, Lily. I didn’t.”
“If you ever get me into that big, comfortable-looking bed, I’ll show you.”
CHAPTER 17
LILY DIDN’T KNOW how to make it any clearer to Ewan that she wanted him, wanted his arms around her, his lips on her mouth and breasts and any other place on her body he thought appropriate... or highly inappropriate. She’d leave this business of lovemaking to him since he seemed to know what he was about. She liked what he’d done to her in the tub.
She swallowed hard, recalling the heat of his tongue teasing her nipple, and the sudden, hot rush of sensation caused her to almost choke on her biscuit. Cough! Gag! And if that wasn’t humiliating enough, she topped it off with a sneeze. Well, that was attractive.
Ewan turned to her, his expression worried at first, and then he realized what she’d done. He laughed, still watching her as he stripped out of his clothes. Blessed saints and burnt crumpets. It wasn’t just that he was stripping out of them, but the manly, Highlander way he grabbed his shirt and raised it up and over his broad shoulders, the way his tall, lean body flexed and strained to accentuate his rock-hard muscles. Goodness, the man had muscles.
If she were the sort of girl to swoon, she’d be sprawled on the floor in a faint, spittle drooling from the corner of her mouth.
He strode to the fireplace and set his shirt beside her damp clothes. His back was to her, allowing her to study him as long as she wished. The lively fire cast a delicious glow across his lightly bronzed skin, the delicate firelight washing over his back as he bent to remove his boots. Handsome didn’t begin to describe Ewan.
The bandage wrapped over his shoulder enhanced his good looks. There was something strong and primal about men with wounds. It would make for interesting research.
He glanced at her as he began to unbutton his trousers, and then stopped. Grinning, he shook his head. “I’d better keep these on for now.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re looking at me as though I’m a laboratory specimen and you can’t wait to dissect me.”
She blushed. “There’s nothing wrong with curiosity. You were staring me quite avidly a few moments ago. Do you dare deny it?”
He shook his head and let out a soft chuckle. “Nay, lass. Finish your tea. Have another biscuit. Try not to choke on it.” He glanced at the large four-poster. “Once I have you in that bed, I’m not letting you out of it for a good, long while.” He came to her side and set his hands on each side of her body. Still grinning that sexy, dangerous grin of his, he leaned forward and gave her a possessively tender kiss that curled her toes. Then his dangerous grin faded and his eyes turned to hot, green embers. Crumpets! She was going to miss him when he returned to Scotland.
He left her side to wash away the dirt and sweat of the night’s ride. He rubbed the lavender soap over his chest, shoulders, and hair, and then rinsed himself off i
n that carelessly manly way, allowing the water to slowly stream in droplets down his neck and across his broad chest. The droplets gleamed against the firelight, and all Lily could think of as they glistened against his bronzed skin was that being alone in a cozy inn with a hot, wet, almost naked Ewan beside her was the best thing on earth. Even better than membership in the Royal Society.
He returned to her side with the look of promise in his eyes and lifted her into his arms. He smelled of lavender and clean, male heat.
“Finally,” she whispered, circling her arms around his neck. His hair was damp and curling at his nape. Then she was on the bed, naked and curling her fingers in his damp hair as he settled over her, his big body covering hers and his mouth slanted across hers in a kiss that put sparkles in her eyes. Not that she could see her eyes, but the sparkles were there. Shining as bright as diamonds.
His gaze locked on hers as he unbuttoned his trousers and slipped them off to reveal his long, muscled legs. Lily’s eyes widened at the sight of his male hardness. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but he had a glint in his eye that warned he wasn’t quite under control, and she decided not to test him. She wasn’t certain of the consequences.
Then all further thought flew out of her head, for he was atop her again, his long, lean body pressing her down against the mattress, the exquisitely intimate weight of him so arousing against her skin. He eased her thighs apart and shifted himself between them. “My fair Lily,” he whispered, lowering his mouth to hers and kissing her with a tenderness that stole her breath away. Then his lips moved lower... down the arch of her throat, to her breast. His tongue began to work its magic, flicking across her engorged nipple. She groaned, felt a hot pulse at the junction of her thighs, and almost shot off the bed as he moved lower. He closed his mouth over that hot pulse, teasing and licking the swollen nub between her thighs, evoking sensations she’d never dreamed possible.
She felt herself floating upward to the stars, lifted so high she could touch the silvery ball of the moon. And floating higher, beyond the moon and stars. Her heart thudded to a rampant beat. Her skin felt hot. She was mindless. She was a coiled ball of heat about to explode. Then it happened, that same magical sensation she’d experienced in the tub, but this time the wave of ecstasy was even stronger, like a shower of meteors striking the ground, sending shocks and ripples through her body, exquisitely hot and pulsing, exquisitely and endlessly magical.
“Lily, what you do to me,” he whispered, shifting himself upward so that his erect member was now between her thighs, poised and throbbing. Then he slid inside her, filling her, gently thrusting in and out, his body taut as he struggled not to hurt her. He guided her legs so that they wrapped around his hips, murmuring his pleasure as her hands caressed his skin. He watched her even as he lost control. She knew the moment he’d crossed into mindless instinct, for his eyes turned dark with molten desire. But even then, there was a gentleness in the way he held her, the way he looked at her. He’d never hurt her. That need to protect her was so much a part of who he was and why she loved him.
As he moved inside her, her body became a liquid pool of heat, steaming and bubbling, eager to take him in. All of him. He thrust into her intimate depths, taking her with him as though they were one. He kissed her throat, her lips, called her name in that deep, moaning brogue of his that ignited another shower of meteors within her body. His thrusts became urgent, and his body suddenly tensed.
He grunted her name. “Lily. Lily!” And groaned as meteoric explosions took place within his own body, his powerful muscles rippling and straining, his cry ecstatic as his male essence spilled into her, marking her forever as his. She was his. Heart, body, and soul. Ewan, please be mine too.
After several climactic shudders, he collapsed atop her, his skin hot and glistening, his breaths deep and groaning. She reveled in the weight of him, still connected to him for he hadn’t pulled out of her yet. She felt a twinge of disappointment when he did ease out of her, but he didn’t let her go. Instead, he shifted their positions in one easy motion so that she lay atop him, wrapped in his protective arms. She made no protest. After all, he couldn’t stay inside her forever. This was nice, too.
He cast her a smug, supremely satisfied smile.
She grinned back at him. “Well, what did you think?”
He caressed her cheek. “Not bad for a beginner.”
“That’s all? Oh,” she said, suddenly feeling disappointed. He’d had her so hot and mindless she’d forgotten about using that female baboon trick to arouse him. In truth, he hadn’t seemed to need it.
He laughed and drew her closer for a quick, tender kiss. “No, sweetheart. You were brilliant. Spectacular. You were Lily. My fair Lily. Innocent and trusting and honest. I’ve never felt more content with anyone than with you at this moment.” Then he turned serious. “Lily, I understand the consequences of what we’ve just done. Do you?”
She frowned lightly. “I assured you that I wouldn’t hold you responsible.”
“And what if you find you’re with child? My child.” He let out a heavy breath. “Lass, I’m willing to take responsibility. I wouldn’t have touched you if I weren’t. Your family will demand it of me, perhaps not immediately, but once the joy of your safe return wears off, they’ll realize you and I spent the morning here, just the two of us alone in this chamber. They’ll expect me to marry you.”
She paled. “Did you seduce me on purpose, Ewan? Out of a misguided sense of duty to protect me?” She shoved off him and tried to draw away, but he wouldn’t allow her off the bed. He held her in the circle of his arms and turned her to face him, but she spoke first. “Is that all I am to you? Some baboon female to take into your colony, an attractive vessel upon which to breed your offspring?”
She rolled to her knees and glowered at him, hurt and aching for the words she realized he never meant to say to her. “Why mark me as your mate?” And he had marked her, spilling his seed into her and leaving his scent upon her to warn all other males away.
“Bollix, lass. We’re not baboons. I’ve asked you to marry me.”
“That’s the problem. You haven’t. You’ve given me excuses why you’ll reluctantly sacrifice your freedom. I don’t need your noble sacrifice. I can take care of myself.” She tried to hold back her tears, but felt them welling in her eyes despite her determination to stay strong. Crumpets! What had she just done?
What if she were with child? She wasn’t worried about the consequences to herself. In truth, there would be none. She was wealthy in her own right, or would be in a few years when she came of age. Unlike Ewan, she had a loving and loyal family. They’d never shun her or cast her out. However, the consequences to the child would be devastating.
“Lass, you’re overset by all that’s happened. We’ll discuss it once you’re well rested.” Then his voice gentled. “We belong together. We fit right together. You’re not forcing me to do anything I don’t wish to do.”
Did that mean he loved her? If so, why didn’t he just say it? Or were all men incapable of admitting their feelings? Her sisters often joked about it, but she’d never believed they were serious. Perhaps Ewan was right. She’d sleep on it and hope the answers would be obvious once her head was clear.
“Come under the covers, Lily.” He waited for her reluctant nod, and then drew her against his warm body, spooning her so that her back was to his chest. His arms closed around her, and he drew her legs between his, enveloping her in his heat. She didn’t feel trapped, for he held her loosely, as though wanting her to understand how it would always be between them... together because they wanted to be together, not because one had forced the other.
He brushed her hair back gently, the gentle caress of his fingers wonderful against her skin. This felt perfect. Almost perfect.
He didn’t love her.
***
Ewan awoke several hours later, for a moment forgetting he was wrapped around Lily’s luscious body. He caught himself in time and carefully s
lipped his arm out from under her, hoping the movement wouldn’t wake her, but she was exhausted and sleeping so deeply, he doubted anything, not even the blast of a foghorn, would rouse a response from her.
He studied her as she slept, watched the gentle rise and fall of her breasts with each soft breath. Lord, she was beautiful. Sweet and angelic.
He ran his fingers along her skin, relieved to find her warm. Her hair had dried and the dark, silky strands were now splayed across the white pillows and her pink shoulders in glorious disarray. He bent to kiss her cheek, inhaled the sweet scent of lavender that lingered on her body.
I’m a monumental ass.
Lily loved him. She had told him so in every way possible. Her actions, her words. Her honest heart. Why couldn’t he tell her how he felt? Showing her had been easy, but saying the words aloud, revealing how completely she’d conquered his heart, was a frightening proposition for a man so used to being in control.
He rolled from the bed, made sure Lily stayed warm by tucking the covers around her, and crossed to the fireplace. He felt cold air on his skin. The fire was low and about to die out, so he added several more logs and watched as they took flame. He didn’t want Lily to be cold when she rose.
He’d earlier laid out their clothes beside the hearth and now checked to see if they were dry. His shirt and trousers were. Lily’s gown was still damp, but her sister had packed a fresh one for her. He drew it out of his pouch, annoyed with himself for not thinking to take it out earlier. Fortunately, Dillie had packed it carefully and he easily smoothed out the few wrinkles.
He set the gown across the back of a chair and did the same with the other items Dillie had supplied, the simple chore feeling intimate and right. Everything he did with Lily felt perfect. “You’re definitely an ass,” he muttered to himself. Three simple words. I love you. Lily deserved no less from him.
He quickly dressed and donned his boots, and then went downstairs to wait for the chaotic mob that was Lily’s family to arrive. He didn’t have long to wait. He was still nursing his coffee, Jasper still sound asleep and sprawled beside him, when the Farthingale carriage drew up.