Alone in bed these past seven nights, she'd final y acknowledged to herself that she wanted Tyler McCade in the worst possible way. Only she knew better than to pin her hopes and dreams and heart on anyone, especial y a male someone. Look how Scott had let her down.
Maybe if she just ignored her feelings for Tyler, they'd go away. It wasn't like he'd fal en madly in love with her or anything. He'd just needed comfort and a warm body the other day. To drown his sorrows in mind-blowing sex.
It didn't have to mean anything. She didn't want it to mean anything.
Then why did she feel so numb inside?
Caitlyn shook away the depressing thoughts and picked up a piece of mail. It was from the insurance company. She quickly slit open the business envelope, pul ed out the letter and stared at the large cashier's check.
Tyler would be happy to know they'd final y paid out on the accident. The money would go a long way to replacing the plane he'd lost. He'd used the Lady Hawk as a sort of taxi service, picking up extra income flying people to different destinations in and around Texas and beyond.
Caitlyn tapped the edge of the check against the top of the desk, contemplating another confrontation with Tyler. She'd let him cal the shots al week. Enough was enough. They couldn't go on like this. They needed to acknowledge the elephant.
****
Tyler sat in the cockpit of the Piper, mental y going over the pre-flight inspection again; going through the motions of moving the plane onto the runway; imagining taking off into the wild blue yonder.
Every free moment for the past several days, he'd returned to sit in the cockpit, determined that this time he'd take the plane up . . . this time he'd succeed in banishing his demons.
So far, he'd only succeeded in sitting in the cockpit alone, wondering if life as he knew it was over. Goddamnit! Why couldn't he get over this ridiculous fear?
Since the accident in December, he'd been worried he wouldn't be physical y able to climb into the cockpit. Oh, sure. If worse came to worse, he could have had something rigged so he could fly without the total use of his legs. But now that he was healed, he had some sort of mental block. He felt foolish and embarrassed.
He would get over it. One way or another.
Glancing at the door leading out of the hangar, Tyler saw Caitlyn walking toward him waving a piece of paper in his direction. His body instantly hardened and his blood hummed in his veins. He couldn't get Saturday out of his mind.
Saturday in bed with Caitlyn.
He'd had a lot of sex in his time with a lot of pretty women, but no past experience could match the intense pleasure he'd felt with Caitlyn. It stil amazed him how good it was between them. It also scared the hel out of him.
He kept tel ing himself it had been so good because it had been months since he'd been with a woman. But deep down inside, he knew it had been good because it had been with Caitlyn.
He'd tried to avoid her; he didn't know why. He felt like a rat-assed bastard. He'd never treated the women in his life like he'd treated Caitlyn this past week. He was worse than a bastard. He was a coward.
She'd been generous in bed, giving as good as she got. His mind stil reeled and his body grew taut whenever he thought about how she'd seduced him after they'd fal en asleep in the late afternoon. Her hot wet mouth, her clever lips and nimble fingers. He'd come so fast and so hard, it had left him gasping for breath.
Damn. She didn't deserve to be treated like he'd been treating her since they'd slept together.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Tyler watched Caitlyn make her way across the hangar to the plane. She had a nice little body, with just the right amount of curves to entice a man to madness. He shifted in the seat, trying to adjust his aroused body.
As she neared the door on the passenger side, Tyler wondered why he'd been avoiding her al week. And why if avoidance wasn't possible, had he barely acknowledged her presence?
They hadn't spoken of his disastrous attempt to fly last weekend. He'd only wanted to lose himself in the passion. They'd talked about lots of stuff, but flying had been the unspoken taboo.
She'd fol owed his lead. Al week, she'd been understanding and sympathetic. And how had he repaid her? He'd treated her like the cowardly bastard he'd somehow morphed into.
He used to be a nice guy. What the hel had happened to him?
The passenger door opened and Caitlyn climbed into the cockpit. She shut the door and sat there gazing at him, waving the slip of paper in front of his face.
"Guess what came in the mail today?" Her smooth deep voice oozed over him, simultaneously soothing and arousing.
Her eyes held a wariness that he was responsible for putting there. Tyler wanted to see those beautiful eyes glazed with passion again. He wanted Caitlyn to look at him like she had al day Saturday, in bed and out.
"Tyler?" She jiggled the paper closer. "It's the insurance check."
"The insurance check?" He grabbed it out of her hand and stared at it. He now had the means to replace the Lady Hawk. Except what good would it be if he couldn't fly the new plane?
Caitlyn reached over and touched Tyler's arm. "You're going to fly again. Trust me," she said, as if reading his mind. "If you let me, I'l help any way I can. We can take it step by step until you work through the fear."
Tyler cringed inside. It was one thing to admit his fear to himself. Quite another to hear Caitlyn voice it out loud.
She squeezed his arm. Her smal hand was fair against his dark-tanned skin. "I think you were trying to confront too many emotional obstacles last weekend," she said. "Inspecting the Maul must have drained your reserves. When you tried to fly solo, your brain probably overloaded. Or perhaps you were having a delayed reaction from climbing into the crashed plane."
Tyler narrowed his eyes. "If you're so good at psycho-analyzing my fear, then tel me this: Why haven't I been able to take the Piper out of the hangar and fly this week? There's no emotional overload now. Hel , the Lady Hawk is dead and buried. And if I can't fly, then I might as wel be dead and buried, too."
"Don't say that."
"Why not? It's true." Tyler's voice grated on his own nerves. He saw the hurt in Caitlyn's eyes; he gripped her wrist when she tried to move away. He blew out a breath and tried to come to grips. "Look, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. Believe it or not, I appreciate your help. What do you suggest? How do I make myself just do it and fly?"
Caitlyn bit her lip. "I don't know. Al week, you've been trying to confront your fear alone. Maybe you need help. And moral support."
"Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to kick you out of the cockpit last Saturday."
She shrugged. "You did what you thought you needed to do."
Tyler folded the check and stuffed it in his pocket. "It didn't work, though."
"The brain plays funny tricks sometimes," Caitlyn said. "I've been researching this fear of flying some more. It happens to pilots more often than you'd think."
"It shouldn't have happened to me." Tyler gripped the yoke in a tight fist.
Caitlyn smiled. "Why? Because you're Mr. Do or Die McCade?"
"Yes, damn it. I have a reputation to maintain. In public, as wel as in private. Flying is my life. I refuse to be grounded. I will get over this."
"I know you wil . But you don't have to do it alone. Let me help."
"You helped last Saturday." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the soft skin below her knuckles. He felt her hand tremble in reaction.
"Yes, wel . Last Saturday was a mistake." She gently tugged her hand from Tyler's clasp and gazed out the side window.
His chest constricted painful y at her words and her action. "A mistake? You think making love was a mistake?"
CHAPTER SEVEN
Caitlyn snapped her head around and looked at Tyler. "Yes. No . . . don't you?"
He didn't say anything for a long moment. He just sat there staring at her. Of course, he must think it had been a mistake. His behavior over
the past week spoke loud and clear.
Caitlyn wondered if he realized what it had cost her to confront him this morning after the week they'd spent tiptoeing around each other. After sharing that incredible day and night of making love, then waking up the next morning to . . . nothing.
It hadn't been making love, she reminded herself. Tyler didn't love her and she refused to love him. At least, that's what she kept tel ing herself.
She knew she should nurse her hurt feelings, but she realized Tyler wasn't acting as himself. That crash had marked him.
Would he ever heal completely in his head as wel as in his heart? His heart belonged to his planes. She knew that. His reputation with the women was a wel -known fact on the air show circuit. He was commitment-shy, except when it came to flying.
The Tyler McCade she'd come to know and perhaps love just a little, was a different man than before the accident. Every nurturing cel in her body ached to make him better. Thus the day in bed they'd spent. It had been about comforting as wel as exploring the powerful chemistry they shared.
Except she hadn't expected to lose a little bit of her heart to the handsome pilot. She'd tried to guard against it, but making love somehow broke down a person's defenses and left them vulnerable. At least, that's what it did to her.
Caitlyn lifted her chin. "Never mind. You don't have to answer. Listen, I have to go to town. I'l be back this evening." She turned away to open the door. Maybe she could make it to her camper before she gave way to tears. She wasn't sure why she wanted to cry because usual y, she didn't. At least, not very often.
"Caitlyn, wait."
She felt Tyler's strong hand grip her shoulder and pul her around to face him. Those sky-blue eyes regarded her with questions and a heat so scorching, she thought she'd melt right there in the cockpit.
"I don't think Saturday was a mistake," he said.
She drew in a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Could have fooled me."
He had the decency to flinch. " Ouch. I deserved that. I'm sorry for the way I've treated you this week. I've acted like a first-class bastard."
"And a son of a bitch," she added, narrowing her eyes at him. Something hot and heavy barrel-rol ed in her chest. It couldn't be a reaction to Tyler rubbing his thumb on her col arbone, could it? Was she going to let him get off so easily?
Hell no.
He hadn't let go of her shoulder and the soft caress was messing with her mind. And body.
Well, maybe she would let him off . . .
Because there was something about Tyler McCade that got to her. He obviously got to a lot of other women, too. Another reason to guard her heart.
Once again, this was not about love. Tyler just wanted more of that awesome sex they'd shared on Saturday. And she couldn't lie to herself. She did, too.
What was she? A slave to desire or what?
Good grief, Caitlyn. Don't be so melodramatic. That sounded like a line right out of one of the romance novels she was so fond of reading.
Tyler's touch and the heat in his eyes were definitely messing with her mind. Her body was instinctively readying itself for more. Her panties were damp and her thighs tingled.
Oh my.
She licked her suddenly dry lips and those blue eyes dilated; his grip on her shoulder tightened. "No, I don't think it was a mistake at al ," he final y said. His mouth came down on hers in a kiss so sizzling, her body went up in flames.
Caitlyn held herself stiffly for al of twenty seconds before succumbing to the passion she'd been craving al week.
Damn. She had it bad for Tyler McCade.
****
"We're not going to make it, are we?" Caitlyn looked at the parts of her dad's plane scattered al over the cement floor of the hangar. She had to face it. There was too much left to do to restore the Pitts Special and not enough hours in the days to do it in. No way could they finish in time for her to compete in the Stone Creek Air Show.
Tyler was up to his elbows in oil and grease. He wiped his hands on a rag and looked at the landing gear he'd been working on al morning. One of the struts was cracked and both tires needed to be replaced. "We'l make it. One way or another, you'l fly in that competition. Have they sent you the sets of sequences in the category you'l be competing in yet?"
"Yeah. The Known compulsory came in the mail yesterday. Even if we finish the restoration and repairs in time for the air show, I won't have time to practice the figures. If I don't practice, I won't have a chance to win. Oh, what's the use? It's hopeless."
Tyler threw the rag in the trash barrel and walked over to the workbench where Caitlyn sat. He stood behind her, put his hands on her shoulder blades and kneaded the knotted muscles. "It's not hopeless. If worse comes to worse, you can fly Queen Mab, my Sukhoi-S31."
"You'd let me fly your competition plane?"
"Sure. Why not? You fly the rest of my planes. I don't see why you can't fly Queen Mab. I won't be flying her anytime soon."
She jerked her head around at him and frowned. " That is so not true. You've made good progress the last couple of weeks."
He kissed the tip of her nose, then turned her head and continued the massage. "And you're stretching it a bit. Sitting shotgun to your pilot is as far as I've gotten. The reality is I'm no closer to flying solo than I was three weeks ago. Talk about hopeless. That's me."
"Don't talk like that. Baby steps, Tyler. Baby steps."
"Not good enough."
"You'l get there," she said. "I know you wil ."
"Thanks for your vote of confidence. Now, let's talk about this competition. Even though I won't be flying in it this year, that doesn't mean I can't coach you." He rubbed the area directly beneath the nape of her short wavy hair.
Caitlyn sighed with pleasure. She tilted her head back and rested it against the fly of his crotch. Her eyes closed and she very nearly purred with satisfaction. "That feels wonderful."
"I'm glad you like it." Her head against his arousal felt even better. It didn't seem to matter how often he and Caitlyn made love, he always wanted . .
. needed more. He'd never felt this way about a woman before. He'd never stayed with a woman this long either.
Tyler bent forward and kissed Caitlyn's lush lips. She turned on the bench and wrapped her arms around his neck pul ing him closer. For three weeks, they'd practical y been living together. She'd moved her things into his apartment and slept every night in his bed. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of her sweet taste, her intoxicating scent or her sexy little body.
He kissed her one more time for good measure, then stepped back. "Okay, enough of a break. Let's go haul out the Queen Mab so I can introduce you. Then you can take her up for a test flight and become better acquainted. Just in case we don't finish the Pitts in time."
"You talk about your planes as if they were people." Caitlyn smiled, and Tyler thought how beautiful she was, inside and out.
He took her hands and pul ed her to her feet. He couldn't resist brushing her lips with his one more time. "Some guys christen their cars and trucks, their boats and motorcycles. I name my sleek-winged flying ladies. Must be a guy thing."
She shrugged. "I'm not so sure about that. I know several women who name their cars, so it's not entirely a guy thing."
"There you go. I'm not the only one who does it, am I?"
Those deep emerald eyes sparkled. "You certainly do it for me."
Tyler pul ed her smash up against him until their bodies meshed together. "You do it for me, too, sweetheart. You definitely do it for me."
After another long deep kiss, he led the way out of the hangar, keeping her hand in his, not wishing to break physical contact. Without Caitlyn's presence and support, he wasn't sure how he'd be handling this irrational fear he'd developed. With her by his side and in his bed, she encouraged him and gave him hope that one day, his world would right itself and he'd fly again.
He just had to believe.
****
Tyler sat in a lawn chair in the midd
le of the airfield with his tablet and stopwatch; his eyes focused upward as he stared at the clear West Texas sky where Caitlyn was flying the compulsory flight sequence for the Stone Creek Air Show. The aerobatics competition was set for this coming weekend. The crisp October weather would be perfect for flying, and the spectators would enjoy watching the aerobatic contests in the comfortably cool autumn breezes.
Caitlyn had flown the figures countless times, relentless in her pursuit for perfection. He had to admire her determination and guts. She was a lot like him when it came to flying. She was a lot like him in many ways. And the differences between them only made it al the more interesting.
Tyler couldn't deny it any longer. He was in love with Caitlyn Ross. Mr. Love 'em and Leave 'em McCade had final y succumbed to a pair of sparkling green eyes and a curvy little body that drove him insane with desire.
He loved Caitlyn. With his whole heart and soul.
He waited for the panic to set in, but it didn't. Instead, there was a rightness to it al . He couldn't imagine life without Caitlyn in it. Being grounded was a bitch, but spending the rest of his life without Caitlyn was inconceivable.
Tyler had dated many women, but he'd never made any commitments, or promises and certainly not any proposals of marriage. It wasn't like he was against marriage. He believed in love; he was surrounded by a loving family and his parents had been devoted to each other. But in al these years, he'd never experienced romantic love with any of the women he'd been with.
Caitlyn had changed al that.
As soon as she landed, he'd pop the question. He knew she loved him. She hadn't said it in so many words, yet he could see it in her eyes and in al the little things she did for him. Her actions spoke louder than words, right?
He certainly hoped so. His future depended on it.
****
Caitlyn landed the Queen Mab and taxied toward the hangar where Tyler stood waiting for her. She felt confident that she now had a fighting chance to win the Intermediate Division of the Stone Creek Air Show. The Sukhoi-S31 was an awesome little plane. It handled like a dream.
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