. . .?"
"What if I make a fool of myself?" Tyler took her hand in his and smiled. "I have to try, honey. The more I think about it, the more I believe this is the perfect push to get me over my damned phobia. I want to do this for you, Caitlyn. I'l win that prize money for you."
"But why? Why would you give me the prize money if you win the competition?"
" If I win? Oh, I'm going to win, honey. I feel it in my bones."
For the first time that morning, Caitlyn smiled. It warmed Tyler al over. " That certainly sounds like the old Tyler McCade. But a hundred thousand dol ars?" she said. "That's a lot of money. It wouldn't be right. I couldn't accept such a generous gift like that."
"I want to do this. I need to do this. I'l win the money for you." He took her hands in his, and brought them to his lips. "I love you, Caitlyn Ross. I want to marry you."
She gasped in surprise and those green eyes opened wide. "I . . . I don't know what to say."
He smoothed back some straggly wisps of hair from her forehead. "Al you have to say is yes. Believe it or not, I've never fal en in love before. I've never asked anyone to marry me. I never thought I'd find someone to love until I met you."
"But . . . but I can't marry you. You're Mr. Love 'em and Leave 'em."
"Not anymore." He squeezed her hands. "Marry me, Caitlyn. No one wil ever love you as deeply as I love you."
She pul ed her hands from his strong clasp. "I can't marry you. I won't marry you. You don't understand. Everyone I've ever loved has let me down. I promised myself I'd never open my heart to that danger again."
Tyler frowned. "What do you mean everyone let you down? Are you talking about Scott Nelson? I don't know how you ever thought you loved that son of a bitch, but we won't go there. Are you comparing me to that bastard?"
Caitlyn pul ed another tissue from the box and blew her nose. "Of course I'm not comparing you to Scott. Scott's a slime bal . He's lower than dirt. I see now that I never real y loved him." She stared at the crumpled tissue in her fist, then tossed it in the trash. "I'm sorry, Tyler. But I mean it when I say I won't marry you. And I'l understand if you don't want to take my place in the competition. I'l survive without that prize money. I've done okay for the past year or so. I'l continue to do okay."
Tyler looked at the woman he loved more than life itself. She was a mess this morning. A beautiful mess. And the fever was making her loopy. He hoped she got wel fast. He hated to see her so sick. "This must be the fever talking. I know you love me. Shh." Tyler touched his finger to her lips to stal any argument she might offer. "I don't want you saying anything that you'l regret. When you think this over, I know you'l figure out I would never let you down."
He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead before rising to his feet. "Now I want you to rest. I'm going to go talk to the air show officials about flying in your place. When my family gets here, I'l send Cameron over to check on you."
"But Tyler--"
"No buts, honey. I'm doing this. For you. For me. For both of us."
****
Caitlyn lay in the bed after Tyler let himself out of the camper. She hugged a pil ow to her chest and tried to calm her racing heart. Had Mr. Love 'em and Leave 'em McCade actual y declared his love and asked her to marry him?
So many things had happened in close succession this morning; it was al blurry in her fevered brain. She blinked away the sleep threatening to take hold and took another sip of soda.
First, she couldn't believe he'd offered to stand-in and win the prize money for her. That would mean pushing aside the fears that had plagued him for the better part of a year and flying the Sukhoi in the competition.
Solo. Alone. All by himself. Just him and the plane together once again.
Yes, she'd told him she believed in him, but in reality would he be able to get past his deep-seated fear?
If he were successful, the prize money would be a secondary triumph compared to his victory over his fear. Tyler McCade not flying was like a fish not swimming; it just wasn't natural. If he did fly today, his personal world would right itself. Life as he knew it would be back to normal.
And that brought her to the second and most important thing that had happened this morning: Tyler had said he loved her. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like it was normal for him to love her.
He'd said he'd never loved anyone before. Yet he'd dated dozens of women, hundreds of women, or so said the grapevine. Surely, he'd felt more than mere liking for some of them.
Except why would he lie about it?
When he'd said he wanted to marry her, Caitlyn's heart had nearly burst with happiness. She couldn't fool herself any longer. She'd fal en in love with Tyler McCade.
But loving him changed nothing. She couldn't risk her heart again. She hadn't been joking when she said everyone she'd ever loved had let her down. Her mother had died and so had her father. They'd left her alone in the world. And Scott . . . Wel , she'd never real y loved him; she realized that now. But he'd hurt her just the same.
So whether or not Tyler won the competition, Caitlyn knew it was time for her to move on. She knew better than to put down roots and get too attached to anyone, no matter the temptation.
Snuggling down under the covers, she closed her eyes and gave way to the overwhelming fatigue that beckoned. Maybe after she slept a couple of hours, she'd be al wel . Maybe Tyler was wrong and she would be able to fly in the competition herself.
Two hours later, a knock on the door roused Caitlyn from a deep sleep. She opened her eyes, disoriented and a little unsettled.
"Caitlyn? It's Cameron McCade. May I come in?"
Good lord! She probably looked like death warmed over even though she was feeling a bit better than earlier. The nap seemed to have refreshed her. She finger-combed her hair and wiped the sleep from her eyes. "Sure. Come on in. The door's open."
Cameron entered the camper and his commanding presence fil ed the smal space. He was just as handsome as his younger brother, yet once again, Caitlyn felt none of the thril s and chil s that Tyler's presence engendered.
The doctor took off his Stetson, set it on the kitchen counter and smiled at her. "Tyler sent me to check on you. How are you holding up?"
She smiled back. "I think I might be on the mend. I just woke up from a long nap."
"Good." He picked up her wrist and started taking her pulse. "You're stil pale. Any more vomiting?"
She shook her head. "No, not since this morning. I've been able to keep water and soda down. I think my fever broke while I was sleeping."
Cameron felt her forehead, then the back of her neck. "Fever seems to be down. You probably have the virus that's going around. Just stay in bed and drink plenty of fluids.
"Okay." She couldn't keep from asking, even though she knew the answer. "So you don't think I'm wel enough to fly?"
He shook his head as he picked up his Stetson. "No, definitely not. Besides, Tyler's determined to fly for you. I haven't seen him this cheerful and confident since before the crash. Oh, and by the way . . . welcome to the family."
Caitlyn's breath caught in her lungs. "Welcome to the . . .? I'm not . . . I can't be . . ."
Cameron smiled that kil er McCade smile. "Yes, ma'am. You are and you can. Now, take care of yourself, you hear?" He stepped out of the camper and shut the door behind him.
She couldn't believe Tyler had told his brother he'd asked her to marry him and made it sound like it was a done deal. Like she'd accepted the proposal. She remembered refusing him this morning when he'd asked, although the whole encounter was hazy in her memory. And had he announced it to his whole family? Most of the McCades had planned on attending the air show. Would they al assume wedding bel s were in the near future for her and Tyler?
A part of her so wanted to marry him, but another part was scared to death to take the risk.
Caitlyn glanced at the clock on the far wal of the camper. One forty-five. She didn't have much time if she wanted to watch
Tyler compete. No matter what happened, she had to be there for him. She owed him that much.
****
After Tyler located Cameron and asked him to check on Caitlyn, he walked across the airfield to conduct the pre-flight inspection on his Sukhoi. It seemed ironical y perfect that he was attempting this critical solo flight with the Queen Mab. He and his lady had won countless competitions together. Of al his planes, she was nearest and dearest to his heart and soul.
Maybe that's what he'd been doing wrong al these weeks. He'd been trying to conquer his fear by flying one of the planes he used for applications jobs.
Tyler loved al his planes, but some rated higher in his heart than others. Lady Hawk had been a favorite, but she was gone forever.
Queen Mab would show him the way.
That familiar rush of adrenaline shot through his veins. For the first time since the accident, Tyler final y felt comfortable in his own skin again. He could do this. He knew he could. For Caitlyn, and most especial y for himself.
When he'd walked over to the registration tent to sign up in Caitlyn's place, the air show officials had been happy to make the substitution. Most of them knew him, and they welcomed him with enthusiastic support. No one said anything other than they were glad to see him back on the circuit, and they wished him the best of good luck.
He was going to need it. He'd told Caitlyn he knew the Known Compulsory sequence by heart, but to put it into execution would be a chal enge to say the least. He spent the rest of the morning walking through the routine sequences, going over them repeatedly in his mind.
Tyler didn't have time to check on Caitlyn before he flew. Cameron had texted him that she seemed to be doing better. His family was sitting in the audience. They'd come to cheer Caitlyn on. Now, they would be cheering for him.
He'd had a mil ion and one things to attend to, and two o'clock came mighty fast. Before he could have second or third thoughts, he was buckled in and taxiing down the runway, positioning himself for take off.
He sent up a quick prayer and waited for the official to give the signal. When he did, Tyler took off down the runway and much to his astonishment and delight, he pushed forward the throttle and Queen Mab lifted effortlessly into the air. The ground receded and he checked his instruments. Over the headset, ground control gave him the go ahead to begin the sequence routine.
The hum of the engine and the grip of the control stick in his hands were al the welcome Tyler needed to fly his best. The months of pain and frustration faded away. He was flying again and that was al that mattered.
After he gained the desired altitude, Tyler maneuvered into the first series of barrel rol s, loops, snap rol s and hammerheads. The Queen Mab responded to his every command, turning over and over again in the clear blue West Texas sky. The world twirled beneath him, behind him, in front, al around. Sucking in the force of the G's was intoxicating and boosted his confidence, making him secure in the knowledge that he had final y recovered what he'd almost lost forever.
He climbed high in the sky, then dropped toward the earth, and only at the last minute, he pul ed up smoothly out of the dive to climb high once more. He flew upside down, then executed a couple of Cuban Eights fol owed by flips and rol s. Another series of loops and spins and Tyler knew he'd discovered his groove again.
He was one with the sky and Queen Mab. Nothing could stop him now. He could taste sweet victory within his grasp.
As he flew the final sequence, a fierce joy constricted his chest. Damn, he'd missed flying. With Caitlyn's patience and guidance and love, al was right with his world.
He circled over the airfield one last time before touching down on the tarmac. The crowd applauded as he opened the hatch and climbed out of the cockpit. His family came running and hugged him, kissed him, and clapped him on the back. His mother cried, his sisters-in-law cheered and his brothers lifted him up on their shoulders and carried him toward the sidelines where Caitlyn stood waiting for him.
Tears spil ed down her cheeks as she looked up at him. He was stil sitting on his brothers' shoulders. "You did it!" she cried, laughing and dashing the tears away. "I knew you would. Congratulations."
Tyler's brothers set him down. As soon as his feet hit solid ground, he held out his arms to the woman he loved. She hesitated only a second before walking into his embrace.
"Oh, Tyler. I'm so happy for you."
He hugged her tight. "I couldn't have done it without you, sweetheart. If not for you, I couldn't have done it."
****
The week after the Stone Creek Air Show was a busy one. Tyler settled into the familiar routine of flying applications and keeping the planes in tiptop condition with maintenance checks and repairs. His ridiculous fear of flying was final y at an end. Thank God.
Only now, he had an even bigger catastrophe to deal with.
Caitlyn was leaving at the end of the month. Nothing he said could make her change her mind. She was adamant and refused to see she was making them both miserable with her stubbornness.
At the closing ceremonies of the air show competition, Tyler had gladly accepted the first-place trophy and the cashier's check from the judges and officials. He'd enjoyed receiving congratulations and best wishes from his friends, his compatriots, his buddies on the air show circuit.
The trophy would hold a special place of honor when he added it to his col ection. This prize not only represented his skil in the cockpit, it symbolized his personal triumph over his fear of flying, final y laying to rest the aftermath of last year's accident. He was ready to move on, ready to tackle anything.
Or so he'd thought.
He'd been riding high fol owing his victories at the air show when his world came crashing down again. After the ceremonies, Tyler immediately sought out Caitlyn. He proudly handed the check to her, but she steadfastly refused to take it.
She shook her head, stil pale from being so sick. "I'm sorry, but I can't accept the money. It wouldn't be right. I can't marry you, Tyler. I won't marry you. It's time I moved on. I don't expect you to understand, but I hope you can respect my decision."
In shock, Tyler stood staring down at her beautiful face. He couldn't fathom the fact that not only was she refusing the prize money; she was also rejecting his love and his marriage proposal. His heart was breaking in two. His chest constricted so painful y, he thought he might pass out from lack of oxygen. Pul ing G's didn't even compare. Up to now, he'd had no idea how much pain he'd unwittingly inflicted on the many women who'd professed their love for him in the past. Now he knew, and it sucked.
Taking hold of Caitlyn's shoulders, Tyler barely restrained himself from shaking some sense into her. "I love you, damn it. And don't say you don't love me back. I know you do."
She shrugged out of his grasp and stepped away, putting distance between them. "Yes, I love you. I tried not to, but . . . it just happened. I tried to guard against it, but . . . Just let me go, Tyler. I can't stay. We've had a lovely summer and autumn together, but al good things come to an end. It's time for both of us to move on."
His hands dropped to his sides and fisted in frustration. "I don't want to move on. I want you. In my life. By my side. Together forever."
She shook her head again, and a tear slid down her cheek. She hastily swiped at it. "Please . . . don't say any more." Her voice trembled with emotion. "Nothing lasts forever. I learned that a long time ago."
He couldn't believe what was happening, what she was doing. "So, you're throwing it al away? You're not wil ing to take a chance on this love growing between us? We're good together, Caitlyn. We're good for each other. Take a chance, honey. For God's sakes, you're an aerobatics pilot.
You risk your life every time you climb into the cockpit. How hard could it be to risk your life, your heart on me?"
"You have no idea how hard it is." She bit her bottom lip so tight, Tyler thought it might bleed. He wanted to kiss away her hurts, except kisses wouldn't be enough. She'd been marked by her childhood and the people s
he'd loved. He hadn't realized the extent of the damage, until now.
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I just can't take the risk. I've made up my mind. Please don't ask me again." She turned away and ran toward her camper.
That last night at the air show, he'd bunked with a buddy so he wouldn't impose his presence on Caitlyn. Maybe she just needed a little time and space to think things through.
Tyler knew he needed time to think. So much had happened in such a short space of time, his head was spinning. He'd conquered his irrational fear of flying. And not only had he flown solo for the first time since the accident, he'd won the prize money in the competition. But Caitlyn had refused to accept it. If that weren't bad enough, the woman he loved, the only woman he'd ever fal en in love with, had stomped his heart into the ground.
He needed to regroup. Surely, Caitlyn would see reason and open her heart to him after she'd thought about it a little more. His future looked bleak without her in his life.
The next morning, Caitlyn drove the truck and camper back to the Diamondback Ranch, and Tyler piloted the Sukhoi. Since then, they'd been tiptoeing around each other. Again. Seemed like they'd spent most of their acquaintance dancing around each other for some reason or another.
When she'd returned to the airfield, Caitlyn immediately removed al her stuff from his apartment and slept in her camper. Reba wandered back and forth between them; the dog didn't know which of them she owed her loyalties to.
Too bad Caitlyn wasn't more like Reba. At least the dog loved him and wanted to be with him. That had to count for something.
Right, McCade. That was stretching it a bit even for him.
Caitlyn had flown several of the application jobs during the workweek, but for the most part she was keeping to herself and working on her dad's plane. From what Tyler could see, she wasn't going to finish the restoration before she headed out in a couple of weeks.
Today, she'd gone to town to do some shopping and banking. With no work scheduled for the day, Tyler devoted the morning to maintenance and repairs. He was adjusting the application hoses on one of his planes when Reba barked a greeting to her returning mistress.
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