by Lisa Ruff
All he had done for the past few days was think about Kate, the baby and his future—their future. He still had no idea what to do. She was right about another thing. If he gave up racing for her sake, he would feel bitter about it, and maybe even put the blame on her. Part of his soul would die if he couldn’t be out here on a day like this, pushing himself and a boat over the water.
Patrick went forward to make another check of the rig. Everything looked shipshape. He stood at the mast, surveying the horizon and thinking. Sure, he could cut back on his time at sea, but that wasn’t enough for her. She was adamant; she wanted him to be around all the time or not at all. And what if he did what she wanted, would she start to nag him about taking unnecessary risks, too? Be careful of the lawn mower, honey. Watch yourself on those steps. Imagining these possibilities, Patrick could almost feel the chains wrap around his freedom. He shivered, despite the heat and went to the wheel again.
He remembered what Kate had said about him being an adventurer. He had denied it, but now he knew she was at least partly right. He did like to challenge himself, but that didn’t make him some crazed adrenaline junkie, no matter what she thought. He wasn’t doing it for the thrill. He just couldn’t see doing things halfway, especially on something as beautiful as a boat, making her way over the water with all her sails set.
He tacked the boat over and kept going around, easing the sails into a broad-reach to retrace his course. Going downwind, the motion of the boat was gentler. No other boats were nearby, so he sat and let the gentle motion of the boat soothe him. Pulling his hat off, Patrick raked a hand back through his long hair. He needed a haircut soon, but not if he pulled it all out in frustration.
He had doubts about his abilities as a father, too. A whole truckload of doubts. Until he’d learned about Kate’s pregnancy, the idea of becoming a father had crossed his mind as something hypothetical, a role he might consider taking on someday. Well, that day had arrived. Whatever his doubts and uncertainties, Patrick was sure of two things. Whether he was ready or not for the job, he would put everything he had into parenting. If Kate would let him. He just had to figure out a way to convince her that she should. He was also certain that no man could raise his child as well as he could.
As he approached the marina, Patrick furled the sails and turned on the engine. It started easily and ran smoothly now. Whatever had been wrong was fixed. He keyed the microphone on the VHF radio and called for a dockhand to handle lines as he motored around the breakwater. At the dock, he slid the boat smoothly into the slip, reversing the engine to stop it in place and tossed the mooring lines to a young man waiting there. In minutes the boat was secured.
“Thanks, Bill,” Patrick said.
“My pleasure. I saw you coming in. She looks beautiful.”
“She sails as good as she looks.”
“You need anything else?” Bill asked.
“No, thanks. I’ll just lock her up and put the covers on.”
With a brief salute, Bill jogged up the dock, the radio at his waist squawking, directing him to some other task. Patrick smiled. The kid had more energy than two guys. He hoped his folks could convince him to stick around for longer than the summer.
Patrick had just finished buttoning up the mainsail cover when he was hailed by a tall, lanky man with graying hair.
“Patrick! How’s my baby doing?”
“Hey, Jimmy.” Patrick hopped off the boat and greeted the older man. “I think she’s ready for her first lesson. How about if you clear your schedule tomorrow morning and we’ll take her out?”
“That’s what I want to hear.” Jimmy rubbed his hands together and chortled. “Consider it cleared.”
Patrick laughed. James Steele Johnson sounded like a kid on Christmas Eve. The childish glee seemed odd for a fifty-year-old man, but even the biggest boys loved getting toys.
“Be here at eight. The wind’s supposed to hold through early afternoon, so we’ll put her through her paces and get you familiar with all the systems.”
Jimmy looked regretfully at the sleek blue craft. “Too bad we can’t just take her out for a spin right now.”
Patrick shrugged. “Why not? I’ve got the time.”
“Don’t tempt me. I’ve got a dinner date this evening. I’d be scalped if I stood her up for a sail.”
“Your call.” Patrick tightened one of the lines on the cleat and the two men walked up the dock together. “So who’s this hot date that’s coming between you and your boat? You still seeing Jill?”
“Nah. This is someone new. You might know her. Kate Stevens, the glassblower. She has that store Fire Works over on Oak Street.”
Patrick clenched his jaw and stopped dead in his tracks. “So, you’re candidate number two.”
Jimmy surprised him by laughing. “That’s what her aunt called me when I stopped by there yesterday. Bachelor number two, I think she said.”
Patrick looked away, out toward the docks, debating what to say next.
“What’s wrong?” Jimmy asked.
“Nothing.” Patrick bit his tongue and held his ground. He felt like doing damage to any man who touched Kate. But this man was a client. And a friend. “Have a good time,” he said flatly.
“You sure you don’t want to tell me something?”
“It’s nothing. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Patrick started to walk to his truck, then turned back. “Hey, Jimmy?”
“Yeah?” The older man was still looking at him.
“Do you know about Kate’s…I mean do you know she’s—” Patrick stumbled on the question.
“Do I know she’s pregnant?”
“You know?”
“Yeah. So?”
“So you’re still going out with her?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” It was Jimmy’s turn to look surprised. “I like her. She’s pretty, sexy, intelligent.”
“Do you know why she wants to go out with you?”
“Of course. And I’m honored she’d consider an older guy like me.” Jimmy took a few steps closer. “Truth is, Patrick, I can’t have kids of my own, so it’s an opportunity to be a father. Never thought I’d have the chance.” He shrugged. “I guess I was a little shocked at first when she told me the deal, but I like Kate’s spunk. When I had a chance to think it over, I realized that I’ve got a lot to pass on to someone. Doesn’t matter if it’s my genes or not.”
Patrick shifted uncomfortably.
“What’s wrong? You got a problem with me going out with her?”
“Yeah, Jimmy,” Patrick said with a sigh. “I have to admit I do.”
“Why? Are you bachelor number three?”
“No. Near as I know, I’m not in the running.” Patrick expelled a blast of air from his lungs. “My turn to tell the truth, Jimmy. The kid’s mine.”
Jimmy’s eyebrows shot up. “Yours?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why is she looking for a father? And a husband, for that matter?” Jimmy narrowed his eyes on Patrick. “Did you dump her?”
“No!” Patrick had a sudden urge to punch his truck again. “No,” he repeated, reminding himself that none of this was Jimmy’s fault. “Look, it’s…it’s between Kate and me.”
Jimmy laughed. “Not anymore, man. Not if she’s asking me to be the father. What’s she got against you anyway?”
Patrick ran an impatient hand through his hair. “Kate doesn’t think I’ll be a good father. That I’m too much in love with sailing. I’m trying to convince her she’s wrong, but she’s not listening.”
The older man looked at him for a long, silent time. “Then you need to try harder.”
“I have been, trust me. Seems like I’ve run out of options.”
Jimmy hesitated, then he spoke. “Portside Yacht Club, seven o’clock.”
“What?”
“Better get cleaned up quick or you’ll be late,” the older man said tersely.
“You sure?”
“I think the real father deserves the first crac
k at this. If you want to make it work, I’m not going to stand in your way—regardless of what I want for myself.”
A grin spread across Patrick’s face. He put out his hand and gripped Jimmy’s tightly. “I owe you for this, man.”
“You got that right. I’ll have to think of something for payback.”
Patrick thought for a moment. “How about my America’s Cup jacket.”
“What? No way!”
“You heard me.” Patrick’s smile was wide. “This means a lot to me, Jimmy.”
“But you can’t replace something like that.”
“I can’t replace someone like Kate, either.” Patrick laughed. “Besides, I’ll get a chance to earn another jacket someday. Next time, it might even say Captain on it.”
“You must be serious about her.”
“I am. I’ll bring you your jacket tomorrow.”
With a brief salute, Patrick turned and walked away. When he was halfway across the parking lot, Jimmy called out to him.
“Good luck. And don’t screw up this time.”
Patrick laughed and shook his head. Not this time. He had been given another chance. This time, he knew how to use it.
KATE SAT toying with the silverware on the linen-draped table. She looked at her watch again: seven-ten. She was hungry, and she hoped Jimmy wouldn’t be too late. The baby bounced impatiently, bringing a smile to her lips. Apparently she wasn’t the only one waiting for food. She smoothed the skirt of her dress over her thighs and subtly checked to see that the neckline hadn’t slipped.
When she had pulled the dress out of the closet, it seemed perfect for the evening. Black, with a soft ruffle along the neckline, the Empire-style was loose and comfortable, but still dressy enough for the yacht club. Putting it on, Kate had eyed the décolletage dubiously. Was it lower than she remembered, or was there just more of her to fit inside? Pregnancy had made changes to more parts of her body than just her stomach. She had decided to wear it anyway, but kept checking to be sure she was covered.
A commotion at the entrance caught her eye. Kate did a double take when she saw Patrick threading his way through the tables toward her. The maître d’, mouth pursed in disdain, followed close at his heels. Almost as astonishing was the extra-large, navy-blue jacket that Patrick wore over his green polo shirt and khaki trousers. She had never seen him in a sport coat, especially one so ill fitting. A red-and-gold-striped tie, knotted halfway down its length, hung loosely around his neck, too. The getup looked ridiculous, but rather than laugh, Kate found herself blushing. Even in those clothes, Patrick looked gorgeous. Heads turned and a low susurration of comments followed his passage through the dining room. When he reached her, he bent and kissed her cheek.
“Good evening. Sorry I’m a bit late.” His hand collided with the maître d’s as they both moved to pull out the chair opposite hers. “Thanks, man. I’ve got it.”
The maître d’ gave a twitch of his lips in a brief semblance of a smile and stepped back. When Patrick was seated, he handed him a menu and draped a cloth napkin across his lap.
“Your server will be with you shortly.” He turned on his heel and left.
Kate watched the ritual with her mouth open. She was at a complete loss for words. Patrick laid down the menu and smiled at her, leaning his elbows on the table.
“What are you doing here?” she finally managed.
“Joining you for dinner, obviously.” He paused and ran his eyes over her in a caressing stroke she could feel like a physical touch. His glance lingered on the low scoop of her neckline before rising to meet her eyes again. “You look gorgeous.”
“But…but, you can’t stay! I’m having dinner with someone else,” Kate sputtered.
“Right. Jimmy told me to tell you that he’s sorry but he couldn’t make it. He mentioned something about taking out a sailboat.”
“Why is this happening to me?” Kate put her hands over her face, as if blocking out the sight of Patrick.
The server chose that moment to arrive. She smiled at them brightly, with only a slight pause as she noted Patrick’s odd attire. “Welcome to the Portside Yacht Club. My name is Marnie and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Can I bring you something to drink? We have an extensive wine list, including several champagnes available by the glass.”
“Kate, what would you like?” Patrick raised his brows. When Kate lowered her hands and simply stared at him, he smiled at the waitress. “Give the lady some sparkling water and I’ll have a beer. Whatever you have on tap.”
“We have thirteen beers on tap, sir,” the waitress said with a smile. “Harp, Bass—”
“Just bring me a Yuengling. Bottle or draft, doesn’t matter.”
“Certainly.” With a little bow, she backed away from the table.
Patrick turned back to Kate. “It’s the clothes, isn’t it?” He ran a thumb under the large lapel. “Just ignore them. I am. I had time for a haircut, anyway.” He ran a hand over his freshly trimmed hair and looked around, meeting the eyes of several diners who stared back. He nodded briefly at one or two he obviously knew. Some acknowledged the greeting, others looked quickly away. Kate could see a grimace on his lips. “I remember now why I don’t come here.”
“Patrick.” Kate took a deep breath and gathered her scattered wits. “I am not having dinner with you here.”
“You want to go somewhere else?” He pushed his chair back. “Just say the word.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere with—”
The waitress returned with drinks on a tray. She carefully placed a glass on the table in front of Kate, then set a bottle of Perrier next to it, along with a small bowl filled with lime wedges. In front of Patrick, she set a stemmed glass of amber brew.
“We have a few specials that aren’t on the menu tonight,” Marnie began.
“Could you come back in a few minutes?” Kate cut her off with a tense smile.
“Sure, not a problem.” The waitress darted a look between the two of them and left.
Kate turned to face Patrick, who had scooted closer to the table once more. He took a sip of his beer, avoiding her eyes. She didn’t know what his game was, but she refused to play. “I am not having dinner with you. We said goodbye last Saturday. It’s over between us.”
Patrick looked back at her, his silver eyes unreadable. “Jimmy thinks I should give it another try.”
“I don’t care what Jimmy thinks.”
“I think you’d better care, if you want him to become the father of my child.”
Kate opened her mouth to speak, but Patrick beat her to it.
“Have you noticed that we’ve done nothing but argue since I got back to town?” He ran a hand over his face, as if tired to the bone, and lowered his voice. “I have an idea. Why don’t we call a truce tonight? Set the clock back and pretend nothing’s changed.”
Kate sighed, infected by his weariness. “But everything has changed, Patrick.”
“I know, but you’ve had time to figure out what you want and adapt to it. I’ve had a week and a half. I’m only human. I’ve screwed up. I admit it. You’ve got to cut me some slack.”
Kate was silent a moment considering this, not wanting to feel sorry for him. “What exactly do you want from me?”
“Time.” He pushed his beer aside and leaned forward. “We keep saying we need to talk, but we never do. Something interrupts or we end up fighting. I just want some time together so we can figure out if we can make it work. We’ve been apart for months, Katie. Don’t you think we deserve a chance to get to know each another again?”
Kate avoided looking in his eyes, afraid that if she did, her heart might open to him just a little too far. “Time is something I don’t have, Patrick. There’s a baby on the way.”
He shook his head and laughed softly. “You are so predictable sometimes.” He reached across the table and took her hands. “You don’t need to plan every second of your life, Kate. That baby won’t be born for months. If I only ask for to
night, can’t you afford to give me that much?”
He stood and drew her to her feet. Quickly, he shucked the jacket and tie, then draped them over his chair. Tossing a twenty-dollar bill on the table for the waitress, he took Kate’s hand again and led her toward the door. “Do you have your car here?”
“No, Jimmy said he’d take me home. I caught a ride with Molly.”
“Good.”
Outside the club, Patrick gave his parking claim to the valet. He held her hand, but didn’t speak as they waited for the truck to be brought to the curb. A low growl sounded from her stomach.
“Hold on, Junior,” he said, patting her belly. “We’ll feed you soon.”
“Patrick, stop!” Kate blushed and ducked away from his hand.
The valet pulled up in the truck and Patrick handed Kate inside carefully. Seconds later they were on the road, headed out of town.
“Where are we going?”
“The Millside Inn. Hope you like great seafood.”
“Of course. Is it far?”
“No, just over on Mill Creek. About fifteen minutes away.”
“Good. I’m starving.”
Patrick laughed. “That makes three of us.”
As they rode in silence through the city and out into the suburbs, thoughts spun through Kate’s head. What was she doing with Patrick Berzani? Couldn’t she learn to say no to him? Tonight, she didn’t want to. She wanted to believe whatever he said. Once they crossed the bridge over the Severn River, the houses thinned out and trees shaded the road. Soon, they were turning onto an even smaller road, then into a gravel parking lot. Patrick squeezed his truck into a narrow spot at the end of a long line of cars.
“You’ll have to slide over and get out on my side.”
Kate did and Patrick lifted her out of the truck and down to the ground. He held her with both hands at her waist, gazing into her face. Kate’s hands were on his shoulders and she felt an overwhelming urge to slide them up and around his neck. She remembered how good his arms had felt wrapped around her at the picnic. Patrick stepped back before she could act on her impulse. Then he draped an arm around her shoulder and snuggled her up into his side. Slowly, she put her arm around his waist. She should push him away, but she didn’t.