by Jen Calonita
“The public may like you, but you’re not the sole reason our show is doing so well this year,” I tell Alexis. “If you weren’t such a complete amateur, you’d know ratings have to do with a number of things.” Like the fact that we’re not opposite CSI anymore, Melli’s got a hot storyline, and we’ve got a crackerjack team of mostly new writers.
“You idiot. Don’t you see, I don’t even have to crow about the ratings anymore.” Alexis is smug. “Those tabloid articles are going to keep coming, and believe me, they’re going to get worse. And you can’t prove I have anything to do with them.” She laughs. “Your increased hostility toward me will be enough to send you and Sky packing.”
I’m going to hit her. I’m going to hit her and it’s going to be all over. And that’s exactly what she wants. “You wish,” I hiss.
Her eyes turn to slits again. “It will happen. And if you even think of telling someone what I just told you, I’ll bury you. Who do you really think they’d believe? The beloved, sweet new girl who’s upping the ratings or the has-been who’s giving them nothing but trouble?” She smiles smugly, turns on her heels, and heads into the studio while I stand there breathing fire.
I lunge for her hair, wanting to yank it out of her head, but someone grabs my arm.
“Let her go.” I turn around. Sky is standing right behind me and she looks as ticked off as I am. She unzips her sweat-shirt and reveals a pink sports bra and tight black pants. In her navel is a Cartier diamond double-C piercing.
“Did you hear what she just said to me?” I still can’t believe what just happened.
“No, but I can imagine. I’ve been watching you two for a few minutes and I’ve never seen you angrier — even at me,” Sky points out. “I told you I had that praying mantis pegged.”
“Well, I believe you now.” I’m still shaking and it’s hard for me to speak. “She’s out to get us both, you know.”
“I’ve known for a while.” Sky sounds sad. “She already made a dent in me with the age thing. Not that I’m worried,” she adds quickly. “My agent says my real age getting out won’t affect me too much.” She doesn’t look like she believes him.
“Hang in there,” I tell her awkwardly. “I’m sure the whole thing will blow over. My scandals always do.”
Sky gives me a small smile and I see her brown eyes are puffy. “Yeah, but that’s because yours are always made up by the same unnamed source,” Sky says, not acknowledging that the source was usually her — until recently, that is. “Mine are real. At least this one is.”
“It’s no one’s business how old you are, Sky,” I argue. “Al-though I can’t figure out how you passed for a four-year-old when you were five and we started the show.” Sky just shakes her head. “But for the record,” I add, “I think what Alexis did to you was cruel.”
“Thanks,” Sky says, casting her eyes downward. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard her utter that word to me.
“So what are we going to do about the — what did you call her? Praying mantis?” I try not to smirk.
“It fits, doesn’t it?” Sky looks pleased with herself. “We’ll think of something. But first, let’s blow off steam. What do you say we skip that spin class and hit the rock wall instead?”
“You’re on,” I say. The enemy you know is always better than the one you don’t, right?
FRIDAY, 10/18
NOTE TO SELF:
Call Nadine & Laney ASAP!
Ten: What Happens in Vegas,Doesn’t Always Stay in Vegas
A few hours later, after Sky and I have sweated, climbed, and tortured our bodies enough to curb our anger toward Alexis, I’ve gone back to take a long soak in my room’s over-size tub. That’s where I replay the conversation I just had with Sky. It was probably the most we’ve said to each other in years. Alexis wants us to look like we’re too difficult to keep around, which is why we both agreed that starting with her while we’re on a cast trip would be suicide. We need to keep cool until we figure out a surefire way to get rid of Alexis, once and for all. Not that we’ve come up with one yet.
With my head clear, I head downstairs to meet Matty. We’re having a cast dinner at Tao, which is in our hotel. The Venetian is like its own mini city!
“You’re going to love this place,” I tell Matty, linking arms with his and trying to sound upbeat. We’re both dressed up for the occasion. Matty is in a black pin-striped suit and a white shirt with no tie, and I’m in a killer blue Marc Jacobs dress the designer sent me from his upcoming collection. “They have the most amazing sushi.”
“You’re not going to brag about going to the one in New York, are you?” Matt groans.
I hit his arm. “No, cranky, I’m not.”
“Sorry,” he says. “It’s just that Alexis wouldn’t speak to me after her fight with you.”
I stop walking and turn to look at him. “How do you know we had a fight?”
“She ran into spin crying about how you said you were going to get her fired because you can’t stand her,” Matty explains. “I overheard her telling Ava.”
Wow. Alexis is a more cunning opponent than I realized. “Matty, do you think I would say that?” He shakes his head. “So why do you think she’d say something like that? The truth is, she wants me gone. She wants to take my place.” He looks away. I feel awful upsetting him, but he has to know the real deal. There is no way I’m letting Alexis anywhere near my brother.
As we enter through the circular hallway filled with tubs of floating flower petals, I see that Sky, Brayden, Hallie, Trevor, Ava, and Luke are already waiting. Alexis is notice-ably missing and Ava is glaring at me. Hmm . . . I’ve got to win her over again without stepping on Alexis’s toes.
“Tom is running a few minutes late,” Trevor tells us. “He took two more treatments at the spa and they ran long.”
“And Alexis?” Matty asks.
“She’s, uh, running late too,” the Zac Efron–clone of a host tells us. “She called and she said she’d be late.”
“But we have reason to celebrate in the meantime,” Trevor says and throws an arm around Hallie, who blushes.
“Tell me,” I beg, looking forward to hearing something positive for a change on this trip.
“My agent just called,” Hallie says shyly. “I signed on to that new JJ project for ABC.”
“YES!” I yell giddily. Hallie has been nervous about her meeting with JJ for weeks and I’ve kept telling her it would be fine. Within seconds, I’m hugging her and the two of us are screaming in delight.
HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER TEN: Want a sure sign that the grim reaper is coming to visit one of your favorite TV characters? Keep your eye on the front pages of Variety. If you read that your favorite star has signed on to do a pilot or do a recurring guest spot on another show, they probably know what we don’t — their character is going to be snuffed out. In Hallie’s case, her character is about to be taken hostage during a robbery. Tome keeps giving quotes about how “This pivotal episode will change the lives of everyone on FA forever,” hinting that someone won’t make it out alive (a big ratings draw these days). It’s safe to say the probable demise — or long stint in rehabilitation — is Hallie, considering her new role on another network.
“Great. Now that the celebrating is over with, can we at least sit down while we wait?” Sky gripes. She’s wearing a sheer white dress with a pink ruffled slip underneath. Her long brown hair is pulled back in a loose twist. She looks pretty if you ignore the pout on her face. She’s obviously having a tough time concealing how mad she still is about Alexis. I give her a stern glance and she looks away.
The host clears his throat. “I believe your table isn’t ready yet. We thought you’d all prefer the mezzanine level so they’re, uh, still setting up.”
“Why are you so nervous?” Sky demands.
“Geez, Sky,” Ava huffs. “Wouldn’t you be if you were surrounded by celebrities?”
“I hope you’re not referring to yourself,” Sky sniffs.
Trevor holds Ava back. “Play nice, you two, this is a goodwill trip, remember?”
I take a look around. Well, from where I’m standing. The host won’t let me move out of the waiting area. “It upsets our guests already seated,” he explains to me. I don’t argue. Even if there are only about twenty people or so eating at such an early hour. Even from where I’m waiting, I can see the restaurant/nightclub/lounge is huge. According to the description of the Chinese, Japanese, and Thai cuisine eatery I read in my room, it’s actually 42,000 square feet. Large enough to have a 20-foot-tall carved Buddha floating over an infinity pool filled with Japanese carp. There are waterfalls, plenty of greenery, wood carvings, stones, and velvet-draped walls. I’m so busy taking in the scenery that I barely notice it at first. Up on the mezzanine level, where we’re supposedly going to be eating, are a ton of photographers and they’re taking pictures of . . .
“ALEXIS IS UP THERE ALREADY!” Sky screeches, apparently seeing exactly what I hoped I hadn’t seen. “AND SHE’S GOT THE PRESS ALL TO HERSELF!” She grabs the trembling hottie host by his collar. “YOU KNEW, DIDN’T YOU?” she bellows.
He lowers his blue eyes and nods. “She gave me a hundred bucks and her room number,” he boasts. “She moved the interview up an hour.”
“She wouldn’t!” Ava says, getting visibly upset. “She said she was looking forward to doing the interview together. Tom said it was important for us to do it together. Why would she do that?”
“Because she’s a manipulator,” Sky tells her and the rest of us. “Well, it ends now.” She stomps off to the elevators with the rest of our angry mob in tow.
I run after them and try to make my way to Sky. “Remember what we talked about,” I warn her. “Don’t do anything stupid. She’s probably charming the pants off them right now.”
“She’ll wet her pants when she sees me,” Sky growls.
“You’ll look like the bad guy,” I tell her.
Sky hits the elevator button. “It’s too late. I already am one.”
When the elevator doors open upstairs, the scene is worse than I could have imagined. It’s not just Insider and Nation. There must be at least a dozen reporters, cameramen, photographers, and lighting guys. In the middle is Alexis.
She sees us and grins. “There they are!” she says, clapping her hands. “My wonderful costars. I told the press you wouldn’t stand them up. They were worried since you were an hour late.” She frowns. “Didn’t anyone tell you the press time changed to six?”
“That’s funny. You told me it was still at seven.” Ava folds her arms dramatically and her face is bright red. “You called me an hour ago to remind me!”
“Me too,” seconds Hallie.
HA! We’ve got her.
“Hal, Ava, I got confused with all the changes.” Alexis pouts. “I’m SO sorry. Well, it’s all good now. You’re here. Let’s get started.”
Thankfully Ava and Hallie don’t look convinced. I know I’m not. But I’m not sure I want to get in a screaming match when there are so many tape recorders present.
“Did Alexis tell you guys that she paid off the host downstairs to keep us away while you interviewed her?” Sky asks the press while trying to remain calm.
“Sky!” I hiss. She’s only going to make things worse.
Alexis laughs nervously. “Don’t be silly! Sky is such a liar! I love my FA costars, but you guys all know Sky and Kaitlin will say anything to get some of the good press you have been giving me.”
That’s it! Something inside me snaps and I can’t keep quiet. “You’ve manipulated the press pretty well, haven’t you, Alexis?” I ask, getting mad as a flashbulb pops in my face. “It’s amazing how many unnamed sources there are to talk about how wonderful you are and how rotten we are.” I look at the press crew. “Well, we can play at that game too. Maybe you want to take a few minutes to get the real story and hear how Alexis threatened me earlier.” A few reporters move toward me.
“Don’t fall for it, guys!” Alexis blocks their path. “Think about it: Why would Kaitlin ever take Sky’s side? The only reason those two are getting along at the moment is that they’re hoping you’ll forget all about Kaitlin’s car crash and the fact that Sky is old as dirt.”
“That’s it,” Sky says and she grabs a fistful of Alexis’s red hair and pulls.
CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. There is a flurry of camera flashes.
Alexis screeches, turns around, and shoves Sky, knocking her backward into Trevor. Sky races at her again. Matty tries to pull Sky off Alexis, but he gets knocked down. Trevor runs over to break the whole thing up and winds up with a bloody nose. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.
Suddenly it’s pandemonium. Everyone is throwing themselves on top of each other. Matty, Luke, and Brayden (who also apparently has a thing for Alexis) are trying to pull Alexis out of harm’s way — meaning Sky’s — and Ava and Hallie are still yelling about Alexis tricking them. Trevor is trying to mediate as blood drips down his face, but it’s no use.
Me, my feet are glued to the floor. My heart is pounding and I can’t move a muscle. All I want to do is get in there and fight, but I know how these things end and I’ve already done enough damage by yelling in public.
CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.
“Oh my God,” I hear someone behind me say.
It’s Tom. He’s arrived just in time to see Sky dragging Alexis by the hair. Tom falls into the nearest chair and covers his face in his hands. This is not good.
CLICK.
FRIDAY, 10/18
NOTE TO SELF:
Call Laney & Nadine. AGAIN.
Tell them 2 ready another statement asap.
HOLLYWOOD NATION
In The Know
Family Dysfunction
by Hayley Lamar
Family Affair stars Sky Mackenzie, Alexis Holden, and Kaitlin Burke have their sisterly banter down pat — it’s their off-set Flare-ups they have to work on.
Ever since their very public brawl at Las Vegas’s Tao restaurant, each FA costar has retreated to her own corner to let their publicists do the talking — or should we say do the classic not talking.
“It was a minor incident that I won’t dignify with a statement,” said Burke’s mouthpiece, Laney Peters, about the fracas.
“Sky Mackenzie has nothing but the utmost respect for her costars, onscreen and off,” said Mac’s newest mouthpiece (her sixth in four years), Amanda Reynolds. “Vegas is old news.”
And since Holden has no rep to speak of, the show issued a statement on behalf of all the cast members involved — which is everyone too young to order a drink. “The mood on set is great,” said show runner Tom Pullman. “Family Affair is a family in the truest sense of the word. Some days we have a great deal of fun, and on others, we have our differences, but in the end, our family is one that sticks together.”
Oh really Tom? In the Know sources hear differently. According to our peeps in play, Family Affair has never been an uglier place to work. Corroborated accounts have bickering costars Burke and Mackenzie siding together for the first time in years against newcomer Holden. And plenty of set sources are starting to see why. “Alexis plays nice for people in charge, but her true colors came out in Vegas. She moved up the goodwill interview everyone was supposed to do with Nation and Celebrity Insider and didn’t tell anyone,” complained one weary crew member. “It’s no wonder they came to blows.”
* * *
“. . . in the end, our family is one that sticks together.”
* * *
Others, though, are coming to Holden’s defense. “She left word for all her castmates that the interview time changed and they didn’t bother to check their hotel voice-mail boxes,” sniffed a source. “Sky and Kaitlin are just jealous that Alexis is the one getting the spot-light this year. They’ve been giving her a tough time because they can’t handle being reminded that Alexis is more talented than they are. Alexis is the reason ratings are up and they hate that.”
We’re told
the cast trip to Sin City was Tom’s effort to bring the young-ins together, but it only drove the wedge further. Rumor has it that FA had to shut down the set for a few days to deal with the fracas, which has cost the studio close to a million in shooting delays and future missed on-air dates. The show’s number one star, Melli Ral-ton, (who plays the girls’ mother, Paige) is so upset, she’s thinking of leaving the show if Tom doesn’t figure out a solution to this catfight fast.
Just who would be thrown out is another story. While Alexis’s fans seem to think it’s time for some new blood, Burke and Mackenzie fans are sticking by their favorite twin sibs. Either way, In the Know hears if things don’t shape up soon, someone will be getting the ax.
* * *
“Sky and Kaitlin are just jealous that Alexis is the one getting the spotlight this year. . . . Alexis is the reason ratings are up and they hate that.”
* * *
“Tom is really upset about all the squabbling,” said a source. “He told me one more incident and he’ll tell the network someone’s head has to go on the chopping block.”
Eleven: Dance as if No One’s Watching
Now this is the kind of mission I don’t mind being disguised for! Thanks to a curly red wig, my Dodgers cap, Gucci shades, J Brand jeans, and a plain tee; an on-purpose late arrival; and Rodney’s promise to maintain his distance and blend in (he’s in parent mode, wearing a button-down Ralph Lauren Polo shirt and brown chinos), I was able to foil the camped-out paparazzi and go to the Homecoming parade. I got to see Austin wear a corny plastic crown, smile, and wave to the cheering crowd from the back of a pickup truck. Watching him do that was a better high than logging on and seeing I’m not being crucified on perezhilton.com today. Ducking Larry the Liar didn’t feel too shabby either. It’s the first time in over a week they haven’t accused Sky and me of being the most unruly teen stars of our generation.