by Jen Calonita
“Both of you will call Tom immediately and apologize,” Laney says. “It will probably go right to voice mail because he’s crazed with edits and now this script mess, but do it anyway. Then we’ll work on setting up one-on-ones with Tom for the two of you to tell him your side in person. His assistant said that might not be till next week though.”
“But what about that script?” Sky asks. “If it’s bogus, one of the writers had to be behind this, right?”
Amanda shakes her head. “All of the writers were questioned, and of course they swore they had nothing to do with it. Obviously someone did it so there’s going to be an inquiry and a huge cast meeting, not to mention a couple of corporate ones with the studio. This means more delays and more money lost for the network. Tom is not going to stand for this.”
“The thing you two have on your side is that the new script had to do with offing your characters,” Laney explains. “Neither of you would write that.”
“Wait, they think we did it?” I ask incredulously.
“They didn’t say that, but they will be questioning everyone, including you two,” Amanda says. “And neither of you have been happy at work lately with all these problems with Alexis, so ostensibly you could have done it to place blame or get out of your contracts.”
“We would never choose to end our contracts.” Sky is defiant. “At least I wouldn’t.”
Who ever thought we’d be on the same side for once, however temporarily? I resist the urge to laugh.
“They even questioned Alexis,” says Nadine. “A few grips and a cast member saw Alexis getting nasty with the two of you and they realized something was going on. It’s become clear, finally, that she has a real problem with you two.”
“It took them long enough,” I grumble.
“That doesn’t mean they don’t still adore her,” warns Laney. “We’ll have to see how this plays out. After Alexis composed herself, she expressed deep regret at her spat with the two of you and begged the producers to give you your jobs back.” Laney snorts. “She’s good. I’ll give her that. The best thing we can do now is come up with a strategy to keep you guys in the show’s good graces and Amanda and I agree on how to do it,” Laney adds, glancing at the other publicist. “We’re not here to yell at either of you. We’re here to talk about saving your butts. We’ve all agreed that doing it together is stronger than trying to do it separately anymore.”
Sky and I nod. “So have we,” I reply for both of us.
“Good,” says Laney, looking at everyone. “Because, girls, this is going to be heavy. Heads are going to roll and you don’t want them to be your own.”
FRIDAY 11/1
NOTE TO SELF:
Send Tom huge flowers from Sky + me.
Order Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf cart 2 set 4 day 2 serve crew/grips/wardrobe from Sky + me.
Do preemptive strike w/ Sky + call Hollywood Nation + Celeb Insider 2 give joint statement.
Have Nadine send Austin + Liz breakfast baskets to arrive before next week’s SATs.
TV Tome Online
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November 13
Messy Affair
by Miana Demultz
Firing family? That’s the inside word from the sources on the set of Family Affair after a walkout disrupted filming again. Network and FA honchos are tired of the in-fighting, rumors and delays that have disrupted the once peaceful set and have vowed to find out who is responsible for the worst debacle yet.
Tabloid-plagued stars (Kaitlin Burke, Sky Mackenzie, and Alexis Holden, we mean you), delays, and a Vegas catfight witnessed by major media are nothing compared to what happened on set just recently. According to Tome sources, new script pages for an episode that questioned the maternity of twins Sam (Burke) and Sara (Mackenzie), instead of newcomer Colby (Holden), were given to cast to film that day. The news sent already stressed-out staffers into a tailspin. “It appeared Kaitlin and Sky were taking the fall and being fired for all the bitter backstabbing and rumors,” says one staffer, “and Melli and Spencer (who play parents Paige and Dennis) were beyond upset. Everyone adores Kaitlin and Sky is a great actress, so the decision appeared to come out of left field.”
“Kaitlin and Sky were in tears all morning,” confided another staffer. “They couldn’t believe they were getting the ax and no one had the decency to tell them before sending them the script.” They refused to film the scene till they could talk to show producer and creator Tom Pullman. But Tom was on location finishing edits for a delayed episode. When the guest director insisted the girls film anyway, they walked off set together, sparking a new round of delays that will force FA to air even more repeats.
Here’s where the story gets downright bizarre though, Tome readers — while Kaitlin and Sky were off sobbing about their potential lost paychecks, Pullman arrived on set and Flipped out about the new script pages. It turns out the pages, handed out to everyone from the grips to the guest director, Phil Marker, were FAKE. “Tom was knocking over camera stands, throwing scripts, and basically screaming so loud that we thought he would have a heart attack,” says another source. “He’s not going to rest till he finds out who released the bogus pages. He’s had it with the problems at FA lately. He has to make a big gesture to show he means business. Whoever did this is out of here.”
So who’s getting the ax? The official word is no one. “The rumors are unequivocally false,” said Pullman when called for comment. “We have no intention of letting go of anyone in our cast.”
Hmm . . . sounds like another Affair attempt at cleaning up their PR.
“Everyone is going to be on their best behavior till Tom makes his decision,” claims Tome’s source. “But it’s too late. Someone’s taking the fall for all this and we’re just waiting to see who it is.”
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Fourteen: Do or Die
When Nadine and I arrive at Liz’s, the only thing I feel confident about is what I’m wearing. I have on a Thakoon Panichgul knee-length black-and-white-striped dress with a corset-style waist; my legs are in black tights and my feet in Cesare Paciotti heels. My hair is pulled in a simple low ponytail. According to my stylist, Tina Cho, the look says I’m “a young Audrey Hepburn–type who is sleek, smart, and totally ready to take on any reporter who comes knocking.”
HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER FOURTEEN: Everyone knows that the person usually responsible for a star’s great taste in fashion isn’t the celebrity — it’s her stylist. We’re quick to accept their wisdom (and the designers who lend us the free threads) when we’re on the red carpet. But when we’re stepping out on the town or braving a live interview, that’s when we need our fashion gurus the most. A stylist can single-handedly transform a B-lister from a blip to a bona fide star overnight. Top stylists like Tina know the skinny on fashion trends present and future, attend all the runway shows, and know how to make a star feel comfortable in her own skin. Tina is a whiz at playing off my personality and chooses a lot of whimsical, romantic, or tailored pieces for me. She knows how to flaunt my assets (a tiny waist) and hide my flaws (my thick ankles and large hooves look tiny in a high heel). But our biggest weapon in deciding what I wear is Polaroids. Tina snaps pictures of every ensemble I try on so we can see how the threads look on film. If it’s a great shot, then I know that nautical dress is ready for its closeup.
I’m glad I love today’s outfit because pictures of me wearing it are going to be around for a while. Tina picked it for the day-long round of interviews they scheduled to boost my public image a week after Sky and I walked off set. (“I’m only sixteen,” I said several times today, just like Laney and I practiced, “and sometimes I make mistakes, but I’m also smart enough to know how to correct them. Sky and me walking off set was not the answer to this problem.”)
“Are you okay?” Nadine asks as she rings the Mendeses’ doorbell. “Are you mad I’m babysitting you?”
�
��I’m glad you came,” I assure her. Laney and my parents are afraid I’m going to be ambushed by reporters so they’ve insisted I have a Team Burke member with me at all times till this FA thing blows over. Or blows up. Whichever comes first.
Liz opens the front door. I can hear Gwen Stefani blaring from the stereo. “You made it!” Liz cries.
Liz and Austin took the SATs today and to celebrate, Liz decided to throw a “Thank God the SATs are over” bash. I’m glad for the excuse to party, even if I won’t be taking my SATs till at least the spring. With everything that’s happened, I’ve had to put any thoughts of taking the test on the back burner and that’s probably for the best. If I tried to take the exam now, I’d probably choke like Meredith did on her intern exams on Grey’s Anatomy. I’m not sure the proctor would have as much sympathy for me as the Chief did for Mer either.
Liz’s olive face is flush and I can tell she’s been dancing because her brown tweed dress is damp when she hugs me. “I thought for sure Laney would keep you tied up in interviews straight till Monday. Are you okay?”
I shrug. What I am is tired. Normally I really love interviews and talking about FA, but today’s scripted session — Laney had me rehearsing quotes all last night (like: “The FA cast is the most dedicated one you’ll find. Family fights sometimes, but we always stick together.”) — was exhausting.
“She’s a real trouper.” Nadine smiles. Since Nadine has been at my side for all my interviews today — Mom had a date with Botox that she couldn’t miss — she’s traded her normal Saturday getup (sweats) for a fitted beige button-down shirt and wide-leg black trousers. “I’ve never been more proud of the way she’s handled herself.”
Liz steers us through the Mendeses’ pink marble entranceway, down the long hall past the state-of-the-art kitchen, and into the eight-hundred-square-foot den with sweeping views of the Los Angeles skyline. “I know just the thing to cheer you up,” Liz promises me. About fifty of my former Clark High classmates are here — dancing in the middle of the room, hanging out on the leather couches, watching Bring It On on the fifty-inch plasma screen that hangs above the fireplace, or making out on the pool deck — but the person Liz has in mind is right in front of me.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Austin says. He wraps his arms around me tightly and I feel like a burrito. He looks adorable in an untucked white linen shirt and deeply distressed jeans that are frayed slightly at the thigh. “How are you holding up? I tried calling you all day,” he says. He smells like peppermints. Ahh . . . I feel better already.
Oh wait. I forgot.
“I, I, um . . .”
This is the first time I’ve seen Austin in person since he maybe said he loves me. It’s been over a week since we’ve been face-to-face due to all this craziness. We’ve talked, but asking him to clarify the love question over the phone seemed cheesy (well, to be honest, I was dying to, but Nadine said it was a bad idea). I’ve been rehearsing what I would say to Austin when I saw him, but now that I’m here, I’m at a loss. I search his face.
Does he look like someone who is in love? Am I supposed to say, “Hi. I love you too”? Am I ready to say it or do I want to say it because I think he’s said it? This whole thing has left me feeling so awkward around the one person I truly trust. “I, um, I, um . . .”
“Burke, what’s wrong?” Austin laughs. “Don’t tell me you ran out of things to say after all that talking today?”
I grab a coconut shrimp from a waitress making rounds, pop it in my mouth, and nod. Maybe if I just keep stuffing food in there, I won’t have to talk to Austin about the L-word all night! Yippee!
There’s definitely enough food here for me to do that. The great thing about Liz’s parties is that no matter what the occasion, the scene is as hot as a celeb part-owned restaurant opening. Tonight she hired DJ Samantha Ronson to spin tunes, has a parade of waiters carrying everything from curry chicken to spinach quiches, a sushi chef making fresh Maki rolls, and even “SATs ARE OVER” gift bags done by celeb gift basket giant On3 Productions containing cucumber herbal eye wraps, Archipelago candles, and Origins Peace of Mind stress-relief cream. Liz’s dad is a celebrity lawyer to the stars (including me) and makes up for his long hours at the office with a no-limit Amex for Liz. No wonder Liz’s parties are the most coveted invite at her school.
“Laney booked me so tight I barely had time for a bathroom break,” I explain to Austin. Laney forgot to leave a slot open for lunch too, so I am starving. “Your e-mails kept me going.” I can’t look Austin in the eye. What if he drops the L-bomb again, right here? What would I do?
HELP!
Austin smiles. “Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the dance.”
OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO!
“Hey.” My friend Allison walks over wearing a cute fitted ballet-neck tee and slim jeans. “How are you holding up? I hate that Alexis Holden. You poor thing.”
SAVED! Oh wait. She’s talking about Alexis. That’s not an easy conversation to have either. Hmph. “I’m okay. How are you?” I ask instead.
Beth hugs me too. “We saw you on Access Hollywood.” She pushes her tortoiseshell frames onto her nose as she stares at me with sad eyes. Beth’s in a houndstooth mini and a cream-colored sweater. “Who would be stupid enough to circulate a bogus script? Seriously, are you okay?”
“It’s good she’s getting out,” Liz says as Josh appears at her side. Besides Nadine and me, Josh is the only other non-Clark person at this party. Josh puts his arm around Liz’s waist. “It will take your mind off what’s going on.”
“You’re not being fired, are you?” Josh asks. Liz elbows him hard and he winces.
“Of course not!” Liz admonishes. “They’ll find out who did this and fire them and then everything will be back to normal.” Liz flashes me a big smile. “Besides, Daddy says you’re still under contract through the end of the season. If they’re axing any teens, it can’t be you.”
“Oh, because I keep reading that Kaitlin is a suspect and with all the fighting you’re doing with Alexis, you and Sky might be the ones to go,” Josh adds.
“You can’t believe that stuff, ” Austin tells Josh. “Kaitlin isn’t going anywhere.” He squeezes my hand.
“I’m sorry,” Josh apologizes as Liz gives him the evil eye. “I thought . . .” He trails off.
“It’s okay, Josh.” I try to sound light. That’s how I was with Nancy O’Dell earlier. (“This whole mess has been blown way out of proportion. We just want to concentrate on fixing FA right now. I hope to be there for a very long time.”)
Everyone stares at me sympathetically and it’s beginning to make me feel worse. Like I’ve already been fired. “Guys, forget about me,” I tell them, turning on my acting charm and thinking of the countless party scenes I’ve done as Sam over the years. Sam and Sara have always been the coqueens of the Summerville party scene. Well, at least they were until Colby arrived. “You guys should be celebrating, not worrying about me and some silly TV show.” I laugh, trying not to sound fake.
“Let’s change the subject,” Austin suggests. I could kiss him. But then he says: “Let’s talk about your birthday instead.”
I groan. “That’s not a good topic either. How about politics?”
Nadine laughs. “Austin, hasn’t anyone told you? Kaitlin hates her birthday. Something goes wrong every year.”
“I’m jinxed,” I admit.
“You are not,” Liz scolds. “You’re just a victim of some bad party planning. Seriously, Austin, at the last party her mom and Laney threw, paid for by Neutrogena, I knew exactly two people. They didn’t invite anyone Kaitlin knew.”
“I’ve heard all the horror stories,” Austin cuts them off. “But I’m not giving up. There’s got to be something you’d like to do. Tell us, Burke. You’ve got witnesses.”
“I can’t think of anything,” I say. “I’d rather hear about the SATs.”
“Liar,” Austin accuses.
“How do you all think you
did?” I ignore him.
Everyone starts talking at once and I hear a few collective groans mixed in.
“The essay was tricky,” Austin admits.
“I didn’t mind that as much as I did the sentence completion section,” Liz says. “The questions were much harder than the ones in last week’s sample tests.”
“The math multiple choice,” Josh says. “I got tripped up on that student lottery question.”
“Me too!” Liz says. “I answered 3/8.”
Josh frowns. “I think I picked 2/9.”
“The worst part is the waiting,” Allison interrupts. “I can’t believe we’re not going to have the results for a month! I don’t think I can take it.”
“I took the test three times before I was happy with my score,” Nadine says. I stare at her in disbelief. Nadine didn’t ace it on the first shot?
“Let me guess — you scored a lowly five hundred in writing?” Liz jokes.
“The test was a little different when I took it,” Nadine says brusquely. “But in answer to your question, on my third test I got a fourteen eighty out of a possible sixteen hundred.”
“Show-off,” Allison mumbles.
I laugh, but I’m distracted by a familiar voice coming from the TV.
“Hi, I’m Brian Bennett, and you’re watching Celebrity Insider! First up, the question on everybody’s lips this weekend — Who’s being axed from America’s beloved nighttime soap, Family Affair?”
“Could somebody shut that off?” Liz yells. Instead of hitting the power button on the remote, the girls on the couch turn the volume up so loud it’s drowning out Maroon 5.
“It’s no big deal,” I assure Liz, trying hard not to listen to the gossip show even though part of me wants to hear what they’re saying. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Ever since last week’s fiery walkout and bogus script caused more drama on the set of Family Affair, Celebrity Insider and fans have been wondering what would happen next. The show’s executive producer and cocreator says otherwise, but sources close to the show say heads are going to roll.”