“Want to take a poke at me?” I asked when his silence became more than I could bear. The idea of Sam’s fist against my nose seemed preferable to his silence.
“How long has this been going on?” His voice sounded surprisingly calm when he stopped in front of me.
“Awhile. I don’t really think you need to know the details,” I said. I wanted to be honest with him but needed to keep our sex lives private. “Do you?”
“You’re right. I don’t want to know.” He shook his head as if to clear it. A muscle twitched in his cheek. He took a step forward until less than an inch separated our noses. “So, what is she to you? One of your fuck buddies? Are you guys together now?”
The gleam in his eyes prompted me to choose my words carefully. “We’re committed to raising this child together.”
“But you’re not a couple?” A flicker of danger sparked in his gaze.
“No. Not yet.” I squared my shoulders. “We’re feeling things out.”
“So, basically you’re screwing around with her when you feel like it.” He shook his head with the slow control of a cobra about to strike.
“It’s not like that.” The strength ebbed from my bones. I melted into the chair across from his desk and put my head in my hands.
“Then what’s it like? Make me understand.” Sam took a step back and sat on the edge of the desk, arms folded over his chest. “How the fuck did this happen, Beckett?” He scrubbed both hands over his face. “I don’t know whether to kick your ass or shake your hand.”
“It’s a mess, I know, but I’m trying to fix this.” My voice cracked. The fiasco of the day crashed down on me, and my control snapped. “I love her, Sam. Venetia and the baby—they’re everything to me.” I stood and walked over to the window. On the street below, cars crept along the avenue, their headlights twinkling like stars in the darkness.
“If it was anyone else, I would wrap his nuts around his neck.” He blew out a tired breath. “But it’s not. It’s you, and I trust you.”
“Just not with your little sister?” I gave him a wry glance. One side of his mouth twitched as he held back a smile. Seeing the crack in his anger gave me a glimmer of hope.
“I know how you are, Becks. You’ve always been the player. If you’re not in this for the long haul, then you need to walk away. Now.” Sam scratched the stubble of beard on his chin. “Don’t make promises you have no intention of keeping.”
My reputation gave him every right to be concerned. I chose my next words carefully, knowing I needed him on my side, certain I could convince him of my sincerity. I walked up to him, squared my shoulders, and looked him in the eyes. Over the years, I’d given plenty of closing arguments before the courts. This was by far the most important case I’d ever pleaded.
“We’ve known each other a long time, Sam. You’ve been more of a brother to me than my own brothers. I’ve never willingly lied to you. I respect you too much. The only reason I didn’t tell you sooner is out of respect for Venetia. She made me promise to wait until she was ready. I gave her my word, and you know when I give my word, I mean it.” He watched me, face expressionless. I blundered on, determined to win him over. “I love you both, but she’s a damn sight prettier than you, and I plan to be in her life for a long time. I’ll do right by her and the baby. You can bank on it.”
A flicker of shock flashed through Sam’s eyes. He said nothing for at least five minutes. I stared back at him, bracing my feet wide apart. A bead of sweat trickled down my spine, but I refused to flinch. He needed to know I was committed, that she was more than a one-night stand, she was my life.
When he spoke, his voice was calm. “If you hurt her, I will annihilate you.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” I replied and offered my hand.
Sam pulled me into an unexpected one-shouldered hug. “Beckett, you crazy son of a bitch. I can’t believe you’re going to be a father.” He pushed back to give me a lopsided grin. “Venetia is going to turn your hair gray. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know.” I returned his grin. “I can’t wait, man.” A rush of emotion swept over me. Now that he knew, I couldn’t wait to share the good news with my best friend. Keeping silent had worn on my nerves. It felt good to shed the burden of the secret after so long. It felt even better to know he was excited for me—for us.
“I think this deserves a drink.” Sam strode over to the crystal decanter on his credenza and filled two short glasses with scotch. He turned and offered one to me. I shook my head. I needed a clear head to deal with Venetia. He cocked his head and gave me a knowing smirk. “No. Take it. You’re going to need this. Venetia ran into Maxwell today, and he dumped a load on her.” His shrewd eyes met mine over the rim of his glass. “Know anything about that?”
I opened my mouth to explain. Before I could get the first word out, Venetia burst into the room, and all hell broke loose.
Chapter 38
Venetia
THE DOOR closed behind Sam, and his footsteps echoed down the hall before either of us spoke. My hands trembled. I pressed my palms into my thighs to hide the shaking. From my point of view, Beckett owed me more than an apology. Once the initial shock had worn off, I was more than hurt—I was pissed.
Beckett took a step toward me, but I warded him away with a scathing glare. “How could you not tell me?”
“What’s Maxwell done?” Anger rolled off him in waves. He took my chin in his fingers and tipped my face toward him. “Talk to me, V.”
I told him about our conversation, about the accusations over my birthright. He listened without speaking. While I spoke, he twirled his ring around his finger. When I was done, he blinked and looked away.
“This is my fault,” he said, voice low and thick, almost like he was talking to himself. “My fault.”
The world stopped turning. The noise of passing cars silenced, and the sky dimmed. He knew. He knew. Beckett knew, and he’d said nothing while I worried and tortured myself. I pulled my arm out of his grasp.
Outside, it had begun to snow. Big, fat flakes stuck to the windows and blurred the cityscape beyond the glass. I shivered, more from distress than cold, and wrapped my arms around my waist.
“The firm has been doing some work for him.” Beckett’s expression tightened, and he spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. How could he be so calm when everything in my world seemed to be tumbling out of control? “His prenup. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“And you didn’t think to mention it to me?” I shook my head, unable to understand.
“I wanted to tell you. I tried last night,” he said. “But you wanted to wait. And then you came onto me, all doe-eyed and sexy, and I couldn’t resist.” I flushed at the memory of the way I’d given him head, pushing off his protests. “This morning I was late for work, so there wasn’t time. I meant to tell you tonight.”
“You had a hundred chances before that. A hundred different times you could’ve mentioned it.” I took a second step back, unwilling to give in. Hurt and betrayal churned inside me. How could he not mention this? He knew how I felt about Maxwell. I’d told him everything, yet he’d failed to mention this alliance. “You said honesty. You promised to be truthful.”
His jaw hardened into granite. “It’s a matter of client confidentiality. I can’t go telling just anyone.”
“I didn’t realize I was just anyone.” The sting of betrayal stabbed me again. “You said you loved me. If you love me, how could you lie to me?”
“Goddamn it, V.” Every time I took a step back, he took a step forward in an awkward, dysfunctional dance. Over the time I’d known him, I’d never heard him sound so angry or so wretched. “What do you want me to say? You know damn good and well that I can’t talk about the details of client cases. I’m sorry if you’re hurt, but I’m hurt too. I did the best I could under the situation.”
“You could’ve told me. You could’ve trusted me.”
He blew out an exasperated breath. “
I do trust you, but if I’d told you, what would you have done? Would you have been able to keep something like that to yourself?”
I knew he was right, but I couldn’t admit it. I’d never been able to hold in my feelings. The minute he had confided, I would have stormed over to my father’s office and unleashed a tempest on him. “You should have told me,” I repeated stubbornly and dropped my gaze to the floor.
“What about Sam? You made me promise not to tell him, and I kept my promise even though it was hell. I lied to my best friend for you, because I love you. For you.” The raw texture of his voice caught me by surprise. He sounded hurt, angry—as if this was my fault instead of his. “You should’ve waited for me.”
My heart squeezed. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to throw myself into his arms, slap him, or have a good cry. He was right. I shouldn’t have told Sam without him, but I couldn’t admit I was wrong. I was too hurt, too confused, too overwhelmed by events of the day to think rationally. “And you should have told me about Maxwell.”
“You’re absolutely right. I should’ve told you up front, but we weren’t involved then. Once I found out, I didn’t want to tell you because I knew how much it would hurt you. I didn’t count on loving you so much.” The amount of regret in his voice shook my control. I blinked through tears to look up at him. He took one of my hands in his and kissed my knuckles. Heat darkened his brown eyes to black. “We can work this out.”
“I don’t know.” I wanted to believe him with all my heart, but I couldn’t bring myself to trust his words. How could I trust anyone anymore? My entire life had been a lie. The man who raised me hated me. I didn’t even know who my real father was. Maybe Beckett was the same. Maybe I couldn’t trust him either.
I turned and started walking toward the door. Sam sat at the kitchen table with Dakota. They followed me with their eyes as I passed by. I kept my chin up. “I’m leaving,” I announced. “Thank you for your help today. I really appreciate it.”
“Venetia, wait. You’re being unreasonable.” Beckett fell into step beside me. “Let’s take a minute and talk about this.”
“No.” I tried to draw on my coat but my arm got tangled in the sleeve. Beckett grabbed the collar and helped me slip it on. My resolve cracked the tiniest bit at his thoughtfulness as I tightened the belt around my waist, walking faster. I needed to get away from him before I said something hurtful, something we’d both regret. As I passed the threshold and headed toward the elevator, I slipped on a small patch of melted snow. My arms flailed in a vain attempt to regain my balance.
Beckett lunged forward and caught my shoulders before I hit the floor. “Jesus, V.” The drained color from his face. “You could’ve fallen. You’ve got to be careful.”
Tears threatened to spill. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold them back. “Don’t tell me to be careful. Just get away from me.” With both hands on his chest, I pushed him back.
Real fear flickered in his eyes. “You can’t drive like this. You’re too upset. Let me take you home.”
“No.” The elevator arrived, and I stepped inside. He stepped inside with me.
When he spoke his voice was calm and controlled, but I felt the irritation emanating from his pores. “I’m taking you home. It’s not an option.”
Chapter 39
Beckett
VENETIA DIDN’T say one word on the drive to her place. Once there, I walked her to the front door, which she promptly slammed in my face. I knew without asking that I’d really fucked up this time. The pain on her face cut me to the quick. She was hurting deeply, and I wanted to be there for her. This was my doing, and even though I’d had little choice in the matter, I blamed myself. I should have refused Maxwell from the start. Greed and ambition had clouded my judgement.
On the other hand, client confidentiality was a serious matter and not one I violated lightly. Venetia needed to understand and respect the parameters of my job. If she’d given me a chance, I would’ve gone through the documents with her. I’d made sure the terms were fair, albeit unpleasant. And she’d broken the news to Sam without consulting me. Her utter disregard for my feelings in the matter wounded my pride. How could we raise a child as a team if we couldn’t even get through the pregnancy together? The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. She didn’t trust me.
At the curb outside her building, I dialed Tucker, needing to vent to someone who comprehended the predicament.
“Give her some time,” he said. “You know how she is. Once she’s had a chance to cool off, she’ll come around.”
I wasn’t so sure. Venetia held a grudge better than anyone I knew. She’d gone months without speaking to Sam after his wedding. I didn’t have time to waste. Our baby was due in five months, and I didn’t want to miss one minute of the pregnancy. “She’s a Seaforth. She can hold a grudge forever. Our kid will be out of high school before she speaks to me again.” I watched the streetscape flash by in a blur of trees and cars and gray buildings.
“Then you’ll just have to come up with something to change her mind,” Tucker said.
Chapter 40
Venetia
A WEEK passed then two. I threw myself into work with unprecedented intensity. I took on three new clients and scored an interview in a local magazine. Beckett called or texted every day, and every day I ignored him. I didn’t want to talk to him.
Sydney showed up in the nick of time to pull me out of my funk. She arrived with an extravagant baby carriage, the kind with big wheels and leather appointments. Once she’d unpacked, we sprawled on my king-sized bed, ate ice cream from the carton, and watched pay-per-view movies.
“You know what I think?” Sydney waved her ice cream spoon in the air as she spoke. “I think you should give Beckett a break. I mean, the poor guy’s in love with you. You’re having his baby. He’s hot. What’s the problem?”
I scoffed and opened a pint of cookie dough ice cream. “He lied to me. You don’t lie to the people you love.”
She leaned to steal a spoonful from my carton. “Tucker says—”
“You’ve been talking to Tucker? I thought you were going to break it off.”
A flush crept up her neck and settled in her cheeks. “No. I know. I need to tell him.” The sparkle in her eyes extinguished, and my heart squeezed for her. “I told the studio. My agent tried to negotiate a deal with them, but they won’t drop the wedding. They’ve got millions of dollars invested. If I don’t go through with it, they’re going to sue me. The studio heads promised my career will be over.” She huffed out a heavy breath, lifting her bangs.
“Syd, you’ve got to tell Tucker. He’s going to be devastated.”
“I know.” A mist of tears shone in her eyes. “I’m a terrible person, aren’t I?”
“You’re not terrible.” I pulled her into a hug, as much as I could with my baby bump between us, and rubbed circles on her back. Her tears dampened my shoulder. “But you’re making a terrible mistake. I thought you loved Tucker.”
“I do. Tucker’s wonderful, but Alex isn’t so bad either. I mean, he’s hot, right? And successful. This wedding will do a lot for our careers.” At the thought of her impending success, her tone brightened. “If Tucker really loves me, he’ll understand.”
“I don’t think he will. Tucker’s not like that.” I stared at my friend, wondering how we’d grown so far apart. In the space of a few months, we’d taken different paths. I still loved her—would always love her—but I couldn’t agree with the way she was abusing Tucker. He was a sweet guy and didn’t deserve to be jerked around. I covered her hand with mine and squeezed. “Look, I’ll support you in whatever you choose to do, but I can’t lie to Tucker anymore. If he asks me questions, I’m going to tell him the truth.”
After a long sigh, she pursed her lips and nodded. “Okay, that’s cool.” She rolled onto her stomach and waved her feet in the air behind her, the way she had when we were kids. It felt good to have her there, even if we were at odds. Being with her was comfort
able, familiar. I smiled at her, and her eyes widened. “I think you should come with me to Cabo.”
“Have you seen my belly? It’s getting bigger by the minute.” I rubbed my tummy and smiled at the answering kick from inside.
“Don’t give me that. You’re hardly showing. Besides baby bumps are all the rage right now.” The movie ended, and she flicked off the TV with the remote. “Think about it. You can lounge on the beach while I film and get some good rest.”
Chapter 41
Beckett
I WASN’T so sure about Tucker’s advice, but when Venetia failed to return my calls, I had no choice but to give her some space. Even though I was angry with her, I was more furious with myself. This entire situation seemed pointless. We both needed time to think, but every minute away from her hurt. I worried about her. Was she feeling okay? I didn’t want to lose out on the miracle of her pregnancy. I’d been forced out of her life, and I didn’t like it.
A week dragged by. I spent hours going over information Garth had provided, wrapping up all the details of my open cases, anything to avoid going back to an empty apartment. It seemed dull and lifeless without Venetia there. Everything reminded me of her, of something she’d said or done. The pain grew sharper every day. I missed her smell, her warmth, the ring of her laughter, and the way her nose scrunched when I said something funny.
I reached an agreement with Daniels and Quaid and only had a few weeks left until I’d be unemployed. I received enough money from the dissolution to live comfortably for the rest of the year, but I had the baby to think about. There’d be clothing and doctor’s bills, later on college. I was deep in these thoughts, when my cell phone rang, I picked up the call without checking to see who it was.
“Thanksgiving dinner. My place. Next Thursday night,” Sam said, in his short, clipped tones.
Pretty Dirty Secrets: An Unconventional Love Story (Pretty Broken Book 3) Page 22