“Her husband had a heart attack in his sleep and died.” Brynna chimed in bluntly.
Irritation welled inside of me. I hadn’t wanted to know that. The fascination with morbid things that James had commented on always resulted in me feeling a high level of sadness or disgust. Perhaps it was guilt at being so enthralled by the macabre. I hadn’t needed to know that and yet, I had asked. She had told me. Neither of us acted in my best interest.
Brynna should have avoided the topic for my benefit the way James had. When I was young, she exhibited some level of sensitivity on emotionally heavy things. As I got older, she became more and more forceful with the truth. Once I had reached the age of seventeen, my feelings were not spared on anything. I sympathized for Penny, whom Elijah was holding up so she could see out of the window better. On one particular day, with no precursor to the sudden change, she would find Brynna, who was warm to her now, suddenly cold and hardened. Her feelings would change from adoration and a perceived notion of safety to what bordered on hatred for having to face the scary world without her older sister’s guidance.
“Really?” James snapped at Brynna in disbelief.
“Pardon me, but she’s my sister. I’ll decide what she hears and what she does not, thank you so much.”
“And what was the purpose of telling her that? Oh, that's right. There isn't one.”
Brynna shrugged and replied, “It’s the reality of the situation. We can’t afford any naivety here. Not anymore…”
“Where are Mom and Dad?” I asked her, just as Elijah returned from the group, beaming like a schoolboy who had just tripped and landed on top of a particularly good-looking woman. But upon hearing my question, his smile disappeared and he looked at Brynna quizzically.
“So, that’s what I was saying earlier to you, James.” Brynna looked up from the pamphlet she had been reading. She was a pro at pretending she hadn’t been listening to what someone, especially I, had said.
“Don’t use me to avert the situation.” James replied snidely. “You’re so skilled at answering questions, why don’t you answer hers?”
Her expression darkened suddenly when her eyes met his. I watched her hands start shaking and braced myself for an explosion of rage. She meandered through life, suppressing every tiny feeling that crossed her heart. Her insides inflated slowly until finally, like a balloon with too much air, they burst loudly. When that happened, we all knew to steer clear of her. The rages were unlike anything any doctor had ever seen.
But she took a slow, cleansing breath the way she had once read she was supposed to do when her anger reached that point. When she spoke, her voice was trembling and jumping an octave every couple of seconds as she forced the shout back down into her stomach.
“This is more important.” She took another breath. “You seem to know everything about our current predicament, so let me ask you this: Why is this ship so intricate? It was originally intended to be a means of escape. It was supposed to be our transportation. Why does it look like the interior of a vacation resort? I feel like I just won a radio contest.”
“Didn’t I explain this to you, dear?”
Oh boy…
“People like your parents, who were going to escape the earth, surely wouldn’t be transported on anything that wasn’t state of the art. God forbid they travel like the rest of us. Actually, when this ship was being built originally, it was because it was going to be used to transport anyone who could pay a large sum of money to Pangea for an intergalactic vacation. Instead, people like your parents commandeered it to escape what was going to happen. Even though what just consumed the planet was completely, one hundred and fifty percent, the fault of your parents.”
My heart dropped with a resounding thud that echoed in my ears. I covered my mouth in horror, feeling my brain starting to twirl end over end inside my skull.
Brynna’s arms were around me and I was being ushered to one of the many couches.
“You accuse me of insensitivity and then you pull that?” She snapped. “What is wrong with you?”
“Don’t be a hypocrite. You did the same damn thing.” James hissed at her furiously but when he spoke to me, his voice was gentle. “Violet, I’m sorry. Despite what she may believe, I wasn’t doing that to upset you or her. I was just frustrated. I should have edited myself. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head and looked from him to Brynna and back again.
“It happened?” I managed to murmur tremulously. “It happened while we were asleep?”
Brynna looked up at James.
“You were awake, dear, so why don’t you scar her further and tell her exactly what happened?”
For a moment, I really thought he was going to whack her in the face. Granted, if he did, Elijah would have killed him. But thankfully, he suppressed his outburst and looked back at me, his eyes warm.
“Whatever it was, it shook the entire ship. They made an announcement to those of us that were awake that ‘the event’ had happened. We’ll never know exactly what it was. But you had the dream, Violet, so you can surmise. Whatever it was, I’m sure it was quick, okay?”
“But Mom and Dad…” I was rambling now, barely able to process a word of what he had said. “Mom and Dad are here, aren’t they?”
“Where are they, Brynna?” Elijah asked in a voice devoid of all emotion. “What did you do?”
Maura and Penny were starting to make their back to us. I saw them getting closer in my peripheral vision. Brynna would be attempting to put an abrupt end to the conversation any minute now.
She answered him so quietly I barely heard her. But when she spoke, her voice was firm, unapologetic.
“I had no choice.”
My body jerked upwards so that I was standing. My heart dropped even further and yet still managed to beat although it was no longer in my chest cavity where it belonged.
“You left them?!” I screamed at her and everyone in the Atrium turned to stare at us for a second, their jabbering ending abruptly so they could listen.
“What did you do now?” Maura asked Brynna irritably.
Brynna normally would have given her an earful for insinuating that she must take responsibility for causing someone great emotional upset. But now, she had my arm firmly in her grasp and was pulling me towards a door at the end of the hall. Once we were outside and the door had slid shut behind us, she pushed me up against a wall, her body trembling with rage.
“You listen to me,” Her voice was shaking along with her body, “I had very little time. I had a decision to make and I made it. They screwed everyone, Violet. They were responsible for this. And guess what? Mommy and Daddy were going to take off and leave everyone they had screwed over behind! We just beat them to it.”
“You left them! And they’re dead now!” I screamed at her as tears ran from my eyes. “You killed them!”
“I did nothing. They killed themselves! Let me make this quite clear to you: You are here, you are alive. I had a choice between saving you and saving them. Observe your surroundings to determine what my exact choice was.”
“How could you do that?! They’re our parents!” I couldn’t make sense of it. I couldn’t fathom such grief. My parents had always been distant and sometimes, I truly believed that my love for them was waning. But now they were gone because of Brynna. I hadn’t even been able to say goodbye.
“They were nothing to me, Violet.” She scowled at me for showing such an abundance of weakness. “If you were even half as smart as I am, you would say the same thing.”
“You’re evil!” I pushed her now. “You’re evil and you’re a bad person and you’re a… a… bitch! You’re a …”
I meant every word that I shouted. I meant every awful thought that I couldn’t quite transform into words. I hoped that she would be left behind someday. I hoped that she would die. After she was dead, I hoped that she would burn in hell for being so heartless.
She crossed her arms over her chest and watched me, shaking her head slig
htly, waiting for me to be done. Behind her dark-rimmed glasses, her eyes flashed not with hurt at any of the terrible things I was saying, but with a mild irritation. I wanted to rip her apart. I couldn't believe how badly I wanted to kill my own sister.
“I hate you!” I shrieked, “I hate you, Brynna! I wish you were dead instead of them! It should have been you!”
Our mother and Maura had both screamed the same words at one point in her life. If Brynna was human, what I had just said would have reduced her to a sobbing, broken mess. But her eyes only burnt even more brightly as a smile formed on her lips.
“You know that, don’t you?” I laughed in bitter rage through my tears. I would keep screaming my insults, accusations and cruel wishes for her demise until she broke. I would keep screaming until I lost my voice, if that was what it took to bring her down. “You know that you were the one that deserved to die!”
I was saying all of that to my sister, who had, in her later years, been the one who raised me. She had molded me into the person I was. My parents had never been there and when Maura was gone for three years, the responsibility of Penny and I landed on Brynna’s small shoulders.
I knew that. But I also knew that despite all they had done, I loved my parents and she had left them to die.
“Plus, you knew that they would have left you behind! You knew they didn’t want you! I couldn’t understand why before, but I do now! They would have left you because they didn’t love you! Because you’re evil!”
I collapsed on the ground in a fit of tears, wanting to kick my feet and scream until my face turned red and my lungs no longer drew in breath. I could feel her gaze resting heavily on me. I could feel every last bit of her contempt at seeing what she believed was a pathetic display of failed strength.
“Have your tantrum, little girl.” She said after a long moment of watching me. “My stars… I raised you better than this.”
With that, she turned and calmly walked away.
XXX
Maura was talking to me. I don’t know how long I sat on the floor in that hallway before she showed up. When Brynna returned to the group, I’m sure Maura immediately began searching for me. Knowing my sister’s cruel tendencies, she knew that I would be in need of comfort. But she never could have imagined what I had just learned.
“Darling, sit up. Come on. That’s it.” After I had crumpled to the ground, I slid sideways so that I was lying on my side at the base of the wall. Anyone who walked by me would assume that we had broken open some celebratory bottles of champagne while they were all still sleeping and I was just a sad, drunk girl who would pass out eventually and be out of everyone’s hair. But obviously, Maura knew better.
I’ll admit that I was giving her no help; her small hands were attempting to lift the full weight of my body. But she was strong when she needed to be and was eventually able to maneuver me into a sitting position. I felt her hands on my face and her thumbs wiping my tears away.
“What happened, darling? What did she say? Whatever it was, you know she didn’t mean it. She’s just…” Maura sighed and moved my hair away from my face with both of her hands. “That’s just who she is, right? You know that.”
“Mom and Dad aren’t here, Maura.” I told her.
Her expression fell; she was as stunned by the revelation as I had been.
“She left them behind.”
While she had been shocked before, now she was downright horrified. Who wouldn’t be? The child she had raised had finally snapped and committed a foul, sinful act. She had left two people she was supposed to love unconditionally behind to die on Earth because she felt they were unworthy of being saved. In short, she played God. There was no way Maura couldn’t be horrified as she was seeing for the first time, clear as day, that Brynna was evil through and through.
I thought Maura was going to leave me. I thought she was going to storm after Brynna and scream at her all the things that I had already screamed. But she didn’t. We sat on the floor in silence for several minutes.
“I knew she was hiding something. She’s worse when she’s hiding something. But maybe we’re not giving her enough credit. Maybe she tried to save them and they didn’t believe her.”
I looked up at her, saying nothing. My expression forced her to rethink that hypothesis.
“But she doesn’t hate them, Violet. I know that she doesn’t. They have their issues, yes. But she could never do something like that. She could never have left without telling them what was going on. I know that she blames them for Rachel’s death but that wouldn’t make her leave them behind.”
“She has always hated them, Maura. I had my issues with them, too. But I never could have left them to die!”
“Of course not. Alright, listen to me,” She grasped my hands and I looked up at her, “I know this is difficult but we’re going to get through this. We’ll deal with this when we get there, okay? Right now, we just have to make it to Pangea. Then, we’ll grieve, we’ll be angry. We’ll do whatever we need to do to heal from this. Whatever you do, do not tell Penny.”
“How are we going to explain why Mom and Dad aren’t here?”
“We’ll tell her that they’re meeting us on Pangea. She’s only four, darling. She’ll believe it. Then, once we’re there, we’ll tell her everything. You have to think about it this way, Vi: We’re stuck on this ship for two weeks. There is nowhere to get away from each other. If you spend this entire time hating Brynna, you are going to drive yourself mad. So, you just have to put it away for right now. I know that is so hard. It’s unfair to ask this of you. But even though this ship is large and there are some places to get away, there aren’t enough. Do you know what I mean?”
I nodded.
“I’ll never forgive her for this, Maura.” I whispered as new tears fell. “You know that, don’t you?”
Maura nodded and I saw tears glistening in her eyes, too.
“I wish that wasn’t the case. But I know that it is.”
“Does Elijah know?”
Maura wiped at her eyes and nodded.
“Don’t expect him to be angry. He’s shocked and he will grieve for them, but he won’t be angry like you are.”
“Are you angry, Maura?” I looked at her now, thinking that she would lie in order to alleviate my own fury at Brynna. What we needed more than anything was unity. We were traveling through space to an alien planet where we would be forced to start our lives from scratch. In that time of uncertainty, we needed what we knew. We needed to keep the people we had always known close, as they were the only familiar things that we would ever have again. They were the only reminders of our first world.
But Maura nodded in response to my question, those tears I had seen in her eyes finally streaming down her face. A soft sob escaped her and she covered her mouth to stifle the next that was sure to come. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her, crying again. I needed her more than ever now that my parents were permanently gone from both worlds.
“If I would have known,” Maura sobbed, “I would have stayed.”
I nodded, surprised at my own agreement.
“I would have stayed, too.”
XXX
Brynna and Elijah were talking quietly. I watched him put his face in his hand, knowing that he was fighting the same assault of tears that Maura and I had succumbed to earlier. She and I stood side by side, hand in hand, watching Brynna speaking to him with her hand rested on his knee. That was how she was comforting him. There was not even a hint of softness in her eyes and I knew that from her lips, she was spewing nothing but lies and excuses.
“They would have left us behind.” “They never cared about us.” “I did it to save our lives.”
It was all bullshit, in plain terms.
“I need you two to understand something.” James said suddenly. As though under mind control, Maura and I turned our heads simultaneously in his direction. “It won’t change a thing, I know. But I cannot, if I am remaining honest, let her take a
ll of the responsibility for her decision.”
“There’s nothing you can say,” I felt tears, angry ones this time, welling in my eyes, “Even if you all said that they couldn’t come, she should have stayed with them. Either that, or she should have done everything in her power to convince you and your friends to let them come. She’s their daughter.”
“Look, I know that you love your parents, Violet. But they were responsible for this. Your mother, throughout her time in office, stepped on every toe she could. Your father covered up the things she did. They were responsible for what was coming if, in fact, it was nuclear.”
“But you don’t know for sure that it was!” I snapped at him, furious that he would insinuate, though he did so with a veil over it, that my parents were solely responsible for the destruction of the earth. “If it was a solar storm or something, then they weren’t responsible. That doesn’t mean that she had to abandon them! That doesn’t mean that she had to trick us into coming with her! We’re just as guilty now, don’t you understand?!” The tears began to fall again, “We’re just as guilty because we didn’t force the truth out of her!”
“We never would have gotten it out of her. You know that, Violet.” Maura told me quietly as she shook her head. “Our hands are clean in this.”
“They’re not!” My was body trembling now with a rage I knew was spiraling out of control. “We should have made her tell us the truth. Now, we left them behind and they died alone. Mom was in the house by herself! Dad was in his office! They died alone when it hit!”
“How do you know that?” Maura asked as she grasped both of my hands tightly in her own. “Sweetheart, I’m sure they were together. Brynna said that they knew this would happen so I’m sure that he was there with her. Don’t torture yourself, Violet. Don’t picture how it happened. Please, if not for your sake, then for mine.”
“But I know it! I know!”
Maura looked at James for help but he was rendered silent by my determination to believe. But he also knew, from his own ability to just know, that I was probably right. When Maura continued to stare at him, begging for him to reassure me that my belief on the subject was just a grim fantasy, he shrugged slightly.
The Shattered Genesis (Eternity) Page 19