“You sound like you dropped out of middle school when you talk sometimes.” I shot back at him, once again, without missing a beat. “Not in inflection, just in word choice, otherwise known as diction.”
“You’re a dope.” He told me.
“I’m a dope?” I frowned in joking offense. “You’re a dick.”
He laughed uproariously and kissed my hand.
“Was that a slanderous term, Ms. Olivier?”
“Maybe it was. That felt strangely liberating. It crept up on me, yes. But perhaps I should utilize our language’s most profane terms a little more often.”
“You are so weird.” He told me as he rubbed his eyes with his free hand. “But I love it. You know I do.”
“I do know. If you did not love it, you certainly would not put up with me. Of course, I would never change myself to fit your likes and dislikes. You know that as well as I do.”
“I’d never ask you to change yourself for me. I know you’d never ask me to change anything about myself, either.”
“You are correct about that. If I expect that courtesy, I will bestow it onto others. That is one of our greatest kindnesses, isn’t it? To accept one another even if it is, as they say, with warts and all?”
“I have no warts.”
“Nor do I. Wow, I cannot believe that you successfully distracted me from a serious topic I posed.”
“It’s magic. It’s skill.” He yawned and said, “It’s magical skill.”
I laughed again, covering my mouth to stifle the sound. He had laid his head down on his arm and closed his eyes.
“It is, indeed. Do not go to sleep because we are discussing it now.” I informed him and he opened his eyes but did not raise his head. “Thank you. You will not distract me any longer, nor will you drop out of consciousness before this conversation can be had. We are running low on food, are we not?”
“We are. So you’ll have mine. I’ll survive.”
I looked back at him, scowling darkly. His tone had been resolute; he would not accept any other suggestion or negotiation on the matter. Well, that is what he thought, anyway.
“You will not starve yourself for my sake. They are my siblings. If they need food, then they will have mine. You should not and are not expected to starve for them. I, on the other hand, would have it no other way.”
“I know. You put their interests far above your own, always. Why is that?”
“I asked you kindly not to distract me, you manipulative man. I cannot believe how easily you are able to do that.” I cut off the discussion about my sacrificial tendencies in regards to Penny, Elijah and Violet before it began. I wanted to tell him everything there was to know about my past. But I was not ready for that and I would not push myself to reach that point.
“Your stomach is grumbling.” I informed him.
“I have all of this new muscle to eat through. You look like you’re two steps from a rehabilitation clinic.”
“Isn't that funny? There was a rehabilitation clinic right by my building. Too bad we are not on Earth anymore. I would not have to walk far and if I escaped, I would be able to quickly disappear into my apartment and lock the door before they found me.”
“I remember you telling me about that clinic being so close to your apartment. You kindly directed me there when you thought I was trying to abduct you.”
“Technically, you did abduct me. But in this case, your criminal behavior saved my life.” I looked back at him again. “I hate to think about what would have happened if you had not been there that night. I see it all the time. I see these awful things.”
I had seen beastly hands ripping into my abdomen and pulling out its contents. The two Reapers were eating me while my heart still pumped oxygen to my brain that allowed it to function well enough for me to process my predicament. I felt every excruciating moment of my death.
“Come here.” James told me softly and I leaned over to him. His lips grazed mine gently before pressing to them for a long, glowing moment. “You don’t ever have to worry about that, okay?”
I nodded.
Above all things, James wanted me to feel safe. I had never detailed the grimmer aspects of my life to him but somehow, he already seemed to know them. At least, he knew their ghastly effects on me as a person. His efforts to make me feel secure worked perfectly. I had never felt as safe as I did when I was with him. There was still a part of my brain that urged me to pull away. But slowly, that part began to silence itself as it faded to nothing. I stood and waved goodbye to that inclination cheerfully but with a certain reluctance to accept its departure. I needed my cynicism and iciness to survive, did I not?
“What are you thinking about? You look like you're in pain.” James told me and I knew that though he tried to pass off what he had said as a joke, he was also slightly concerned.
“Nothing. Just thinking. I go off to strange places sometimes but I always find my way back.” I explained quickly. I looked at him and a smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. “I might be worried about having those two people I just met snuggled up against me while we sleep tonight. Picturing that would certainly provoke a look of agony to appear on my face.”
“Do you really think I would put you in such an uncomfortable position? Even though now, I'm definitely tempted because the look on your face would be priceless. Seriously, I'm in need of a good laugh.”
“Why don't you put me into that uncomfortable situation and observe the events that follow? Do you want to sleep alone with two teenagers or do you want to sleep with me?”
“Now, are we talking about sleeping with you in the literal sense or...”
I shot him a scathing look over my shoulder. The effectiveness of that glare was hindered by the smile that had taken its place on my lips again.
“The evil stare, coupled with a grin she is trying to suppress. What should I make of this?” He narrowed his eyes as he studied me. “I guess I should tell her that I compromised with Alice and Quinn. They're going to sleep in the tent but we’re going to get the sleeping bag. If we’re all still together tomorrow, then we’ll switch. Does that make you happy?”
“Consider me elated, honey.”
“Oh, elated... I've done well.”
Later, I watched as he unrolled the sleeping bag on the flattest part of the dirt. We crawled into it, the small space forcing me deep into his arms. I would not have wanted to be anywhere else, anyway. He locked his arms around me and I was warmed wonderfully by the heat from his body.
“I’m going to stay up and keep watch. But you need to sleep, Brynn.”
All lighthearted joking and teasing had dissipated between us. Now, we were gravely serious.
“I don’t want to sleep. I always have such terrible dreams, James.”
He kissed my forehead.
“Don’t you remember what I told you on the ship when you took that pill?” He whispered after I had looked up at him. The kiss he planted on my lips sent that delightful shock-wave through my body. “I’ll watch over you, baby. I’ll wake you up. Right now, you have to sleep.”
I was so warm and snug there in the sleeping bag with him. Every part of me was drained from the day of walking and worrying. My body was seduced into sleep by the heaviness of my eyelids.
“We’ll figure this all out tomorrow.” He assured me gently. “We won't stop until we find them, I promise.”
I nodded, believing him. I needed to believe him. I could not picture Elijah, Penny or Violet being hurt. I could not stand the image that forced itself to the front of my dozing mind; I saw them crawling on the ground, searching for food as their lives drained slowly and painfully like water from a bucket stuck through the bottom with a nail.
My Penny… If there was one person I could admit that I felt actual love for, it was her. I loved that dear child. I prayed to the faceless deities or the one God to keep them all safe, but I prayed for Penny above all else. Her childish mind was as pure and good as the planet we were currently resid
ing on. I feared for the demolition of such purity. I would fight the destruction of her innocence with the same malicious violence that the Pangean people had used to fight us.
I wished someone had fought so viciously for me.
James’s heart was beating steadily in his chest, lulling me further into that blissful sleep. I grasped him tighter, drawing in his intoxicating scent. I wanted to stay there with him forever and forget every unspeakably horrific thing that had happened.
“You love him.” My mother’s voice told me, and I could hear the faint gleam of a smile in her words.
Shut up, Mother.
Quinn
We laid staring up at the tent above our heads. She was as far away from me as the space we were lying in would allow. I didn’t look at her. She didn’t look at me. Neither one of us said a word.
What the hell was my problem? There was no reason for my anger. I knew how pointless it was. I knew I was wrong. But of course, I couldn’t admit that out loud. I couldn’t allow myself to realize that our problems had nothing to do with her new-found craving for human flesh. She was my last reminder of home and I was hers. That was a link I never thought could be shattered. In truth, it was that grim fact that was tearing us apart.
What was Alice? She was my girlfriend of two years and I loved her, of course. But our final days on Earth had been fraught with such terrible things. Our parents’ deaths had occurred in those days. We had been fleeing the great explosion. There had been such uncertainty. Through that uncertainty, great fear was born. I associated her with those unpleasant feelings because she had been with me as those awful events unfolded. She was a constant reminder of what we had seen. What we had seen were sights no one, especially not two seventeen year old kids, should ever have to see.
“I wish I could understand why you’re so mad, Quinn.” She said to me suddenly. The random break in the uncomfortable silence triggered an irritation in me that was unwarranted. I should have known that she would want to talk about our problems. In fact, I should have wanted to talk about them, too.
My unwillingness to discuss our issues led to another question: Did I really want them to be fixed?
“Are you just going to ignore me?” She pushed.
“Yeah.” I answered shortly.
“Why?” Her voice was trembling with the threat of tears, “Quinn, I did what I had to do. Why can’t you understand that? Would you have wanted me to let myself get killed just so I wouldn’t kill someone else?”
I didn’t respond. I had made it very clear what I would have wanted her to do. I had so much to say but lacked the energy or the motivation to discuss and resolve the tension between us.
“I don’t understand you!” She exclaimed and now, she was crying. “I never would have seen you differently. If you had killed those things, I wouldn’t have cared.”
“I know you wouldn’t have. And I told you that you could have just knocked them out.”
“I tried. They were so fast. They’re tough. It takes a lot to knock them out. They’re not like those guards, who were only human. The natives are monsters, Quinn. They're worse than those things that took my mom and dad, even.”
“I’m not going to apologize for wanting to find other ways around things. I’m not going to apologize for not wanting to kill people. I don’t want to mutate into whatever you’re mutating into. You’ve forgotten everything that you’ve ever believed in.” Just as I had begun to believe that I wouldn’t be telling her a thing, I was letting it all flow out like toxic, volcanic ash. “You were the one that told Elijah not to go into the ship after Brynna and start shooting people. You were the one on Earth who was always talking about God and how we should live a Christian life. Do you remember any of that? Or has whatever freakish thing that’s taking over you made you forget?”
She put her face in her hands and cried harder. I was being unnecessarily cruel and unforgivably immature. I didn’t realize that at the time. We never realize just how awful we can be when we’re fighting with people we love. In fact, it’s those we love who receive the worst of our rage. They feel our innermost darkness because we inflict it on them far more willingly than we would on strangers.
“Maybe you’re not even you. For all I know, you’ve been taken over the same way that your parents were. Maybe that’s a sign, that it was your parents and not mine that got possessed by those things. Maybe you were always…” I searched for the right word before settling on one that was far and beyond anything I should have said, “Maybe you've been evil this whole time.”
“I’m evil because I defended myself? I had to kill both of my parents. I did it because they were stuck somewhere terrible. If you knew what I had seen and what I had felt, you would never throw that in my face. If you knew how fast and strong those two natives were and how strongly I had known that they were going to kill me, then you wouldn’t care that I had killed them first. I didn’t want to get ripped apart, Quinn. I didn’t want to die. I might have been the religious one on Earth but you were the logical one. You were the one that believed in Darwin and all of that ‘survival of the fittest’ stuff. Weren’t you?” I didn’t answer, “Weren’t you?!”
“Yeah, I was. That has nothing to do with this.”
“Yes, it does! Remember when we used to argue about God and evolution?”
For a minute, I remembered those heated debates we used to get into. We had always been so interested in the things we learned, which was odd, considering the way others our age didn’t care in the slightest. We used to debate and discuss all the interesting things we had read or been taught by our teachers. The arguing was never malicious. It was just spirited.
“You always used to say that as humans evolved, they adapted. You always used to go back to Darwin and ‘survival of the fittest.’ Isn’t that what’s happening to us?”
Perhaps we couldn’t fully support Darwin’s theories as the reason for why we were changing, but it was certainly something to lean on. She was right and I was so very wrong.
I couldn’t admit it.
“We’re changing to adapt to a new world. There are threats here that we couldn’t face if we were just human.”
“So why are we the only ones that are doing it, then?” I demanded as I stabbed blindly at her arguments, just to cut them down and prove that I was right.
“There are other people that are doing it! James and Brynna are evolving! You’re not getting on their case about it!”
“Because they’re not my responsibility!”
“I’m not your responsibility, either!” She snapped at me as angry tears still streamed down her face. “I can take care of myself!”
“You’re going to prove that now because I’m not watching your back anymore! I don’t care about you anymore! If you want to embrace whatever this is, then fine. But I won’t! I don’t want to evolve, or whatever you want to call it! I want to be normal!”
“Well, newsflash, little boy, it’s happening whether you like it or not! And it doesn’t just come down to science! It’s God’s will, too!”
“You have a lot of nerve talking about God and His will, don’t you? Isn’t the number one rule in His little book not to kill people?!”
“Will you stop harping on that?! When will you understand that I had no choice?!”
“You’ve made stupid choices before. You let that thing into your house and if I hadn’t shown up, you would be dead right now!”
“It talked to me in my mother’s voice! It appeared to me as her! I didn’t know! And in case you’ve forgotten, I was the one that shot it! So don’t tell me I would have been screwed if you hadn’t come along!”
“I’m glad that you’re so happy that you shot your parents, Alice!”
“How can you say that?! I am not happy about it!”
We were fully screaming at each other by that point and not caring if James and Brynna heard.
“How could you ever say that I’m happy about it?! I had no choice then, either! They were suf
fering!”
“You don’t even know that for sure…”
“Believe me, I do! And just because you didn’t kill your own parents doesn’t mean that you didn’t kill them! You left! You had one after you, too!”
“Yeah, it was your dad!”
“It wasn’t my dad!”
“Well, your mom was outside of your house and the only other creature we know of was your dad! So yeah, it was him!”
“That wasn’t his fault, if it was! But it wasn’t him! We’re both responsible for what happened to our parents! Something was after us and we ran from it! We didn’t realize that we were running but we were! So they possessed my parents to get close to us! And somehow, through some chain of events, they’re all dead now! Nothing else matters except that they're dead now, Quinn!”
“You don’t need to question the chain of events! We know how it happened! And it was your fault! If you hadn’t called me that night, I would have been there to stop that thing before it killed them! My mom and dad were outside of my door! They had been trying to hide me from it! And I wasn’t even there!”
“That’s your own fault! That has nothing to do with me!”
“What part of, 'If you hadn’t called me,’ didn’t you understand?!”
“So what, you’re mad that you saved me?”
“Yeah, I am. Because you know what, if I could go back in time, I would have saved them! I should have saved them over you!”
The words brought such a sting that she was rendered silent. I wanted to cover my mouth after they came tumbling out. I wanted to take it back. But she jumped up and stormed out of the tent. After stomping past Brynna and James, who were still awake, she disappeared into the trees.
“This is none of our concern.” Brynna told James.
“We can’t let her go storming off into the woods at night by herself.” James reasoned with her.
The Shattered Genesis (Eternity) Page 38