I did not gasp in shock or feel any fear at all that second time. I was safe there, encased in his strong, muscular arms. With the same rabid intensity of his kiss, James pulled my hips forward. My back arched as I grasped the soft animal fur beneath my body on the mattress. Because I knew that no one was near enough to hear, I moaned loudly as I reached up, wrapped my arms around him, and clawed his chiseled back.
I yelped in surprise when he pulled me to him, lifted me up off of the strange bed and slammed me into the wall. Our profusely sweating bodies ground together. He panted into my neck as he thrust harder and faster. There was nothing else in the world that mattered. There was only him and me. There was only that tortured longing between us that was being rectified in the most carnal way. There were no other feelings that mattered besides the feel of his tongue moving against mine and his full length filling me perfectly.
I broke free of his kiss so that I could bury my face in his neck. I tried but failed to suppress the scream of absolute ecstasy. We both could not stifle the vocal evidence of our climaxes. But I was so drained by the intensity of what had just occurred between us that I couldn’t worry about how many others had heard, though I assumed it had to have been every resident living in the colossal house.
He held me as we both breathed heavily. Somehow, he managed to force his legs to walk back to the bed. I knew that after what we had just done, my legs simply would not cooperate with the command to walk. As a matter of fact, my shaken and stirred brain might have forgotten what walking even was, however briefly.
James propped himself up on his elbow, only to become so entranced by me lying completely undressed before him that he had to lean in to kiss me from my neck, down my chest, and down my stomach. I felt that rush of warmth between my legs as his hands ran up my thighs slowly.
When his lips traveled back up to meet mine, I could not help but smile.
“Feeling better?” He asked me with a grin, “I know I am.”
“Yes, I was afraid your severe injuries would leave you feeling less than up for ‘we-are-safe-hooray’ sex.” I told him, deadpan.
“That’s what I thought this was. I’m glad we were on the same page, dear.” I was lying beneath him, looking up into his brown eyes that never failed to allure me. I giggled at his own deadpan response. He laughed softly, too, as he took my hand and pressed it to his lips.
“You were amazing.” He was completely serious now.
“So were you.”
“Yeah? I try.”
“You succeed.” I lifted my head to kiss him again. When we stopped, I could see in those alluring eyes that he was going to ask me what had been discussed between Elijah and me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, proving me right.
I shook my head.
“But I know that I should.”
“You should. We always knew he was going to disapprove. Let me guess; he said I was prowling on you, right?”
“How did you know?”
“That’s exactly what I would say if the situation was reversed.”
“Well, it is ridiculous! I am more than mature enough to handle a relationship with an old man such as yourself…” He chuckled at that and I could not suppress my own smile after seeing him laugh. “It is ridiculous of him to assume otherwise. Not to mention, it is none of his business.”
“Well, he’s your brother, baby. He’s worried about you. He thinks that you’re allowing yourself to be blinded by love...” He trailed off but returned to the conversation quickly with his typical lighthearted sarcasm in tow, “Or like, or fondness, or whatever it is that we’re calling this these days.”
“Ha-ha, I know you are trying to jest about this in order to lighten the mood. I don’t care what Elijah thinks. I do not appreciate that he equated our relationship to a trauma from my past and then had the nerve to suggest that I only find you tolerable simply because you lie and coddle me.”
“He said what?!”
Oh, God or Gods…
“James…” I sat up slightly to put both hands on his face. “Honey, there is no use being angry about it. I am not even upset.”
He knew that I was lying but he forced the newly born anger inside him to die away for my sake.
“I should kick his ass from here to next week.” James told me with a dark scowl.
“No!” I grasped his face even more firmly, “That will accomplish nothing and despite my disbelief that he would say such a thing and despite my anger, he is still my brother.”
“You don’t deserve for people to treat you this way, Brynna.” James told me firmly and his eyes rose to lock on mine again. “You do know that, don’t you?”
“Of course I do, James. That does not mean that I can stop them, does it? He was angry. I know that now…” I stopped, not believing a word of what I was saying in regards to Elijah.
“No, you don’t.” He sensed my lie and called me on it immediately. “You don’t have to defend my honor to him or anyone else. I don’t feel weird about us being together. I don’t feel any shame in telling people about it.”
“Neither do I!” I told him honestly, “I don’t know why people are getting all bent out of shape about it.”
“Because it’s something to talk about. In Elijah’s case, he thinks it’s right to object because by the old world standards, our relationship would be considered very weird. He also thinks that he’s protecting you from me. I'm sure that he really does believe that you're with me just so I'll coddle you, as you said. But how he can blame you for what happened...” He stopped and clenched his jaw in anger. When he continued, his voice was quieter from his effort to suppress that fury.
“Several people do, James.”
“I don't know how anyone can blame you for what happened to him after what happened to you!”
“Elijah and Violet know absolutely nothing of that and I intend to keep it that way, James.”
“Why? So they can keep blaming you for something that never could have been your fault, even if that hadn't happened?”
“I will take their anger, resentment and pain over their pity, James. You know that to be true. You know the full extent of what happened with my godfather?”
“I do. You told me.”
“I didn't tell you. You already knew.”
“Yes, but you've discussed it with me.”
“The reason why is because I knew that you wouldn't pity me. I knew that if you and I were going to enter into a relationship that I needed to be honest with you. When I began to pull away, you deserved to know why. You needed to know that the reason why I am afraid of intimacy is because of him.”
He grasped my hand.
“I would never hurt you that way, Brynna. Not like he did. Whatever his name is…”
“Michael. His name was Michael. He was Maura’s husband. Because of that and because he was my father’s best friend, we called him ‘Uncle Mike.’ He worked overseas for my father and when he came home, he lavished all of us with gifts, me especially. At first, I was thrilled. What little girl does not want clothes from Paris, stuffed animals from Japan…” I trailed off, deciding against describing the worst part of it all.
James put one hand on my face. He kissed me tenderly.
“You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to. But I think this is good for you, sweetheart. Have you ever told anyone about it?”
“No. But everyone knew. There was a trial. It was a huge to-do, believe me. It was still getting press, even seven years after it happened. The entire saga was used as a weapon against my mother. I might not have agreed with her politically, but suggesting that her absence in our home resulted in a disgusting pedophile being able to assault her daughter is an accusation that is untrue, at best. At worst, it’s completely reprehensible. It is incredibly sexist, also, and you know how I just love that.” I rolled my eyes and scowled. “Plus, I did not appreciate being used as a weapon in the war of politics.”
“Who would wan
t that? But especially after something like that...” He shook his head, unsure of how to handle that particular topic. It was hard for people to imagine, I knew. Most people on Earth had been lucky in that they did not have to live from election to election as they grew up. They did not have to be slandered and used as a tool of manipulation in the great game of sympathy, anger and fear, with the great victory of votes.
“Yes. It was quite unfortunate for everyone involved, not just me.”
“If there was a trial, then you must have told someone about it after it happened.”
“I told my mother, surprisingly enough. She confronted Michael. She was livid. She had me seen by a doctor who confirmed that what I had said occurred actually had. If you had seen me during that appointment, after what had happened to me...” I shook my head slightly as the screams and cries that had erupted from me that day echoed in perfect clarity through my mind.
“Your mom was there with you, though, wasn't she?”
“Yes. I will say that I am thankful for her presence in that case, at least. She managed to calm me down enough for them to gather whatever information it was that they needed to gather.”
“So they were able to prove it, then?”
“I said that already, James Maxwell.” I scolded him only somewhat seriously.
“You did.” He realized, and his hands tightened around mine. “I'm sorry, baby.”
“It is alright. Michael lied his way out of it. I will not tell you how cruel he was to me after he found out that I had told.” My voice was devoid of emotion as I retold the awful experience to him. It was the first time I had ever spoken outwardly about it with a third party. I could feel the heavy weight lifting from me as I spoke.
“What about Maura? What did she do?”
“She was always in the house when it happened. He started giving me a sedative to keep me quiet. Before I would succumb to the drug, though, I would scream for her. I would…” I stopped again, ashamed of what I was about to say.
“Go on. It’s okay.”
“I would beg her, James. I would plead with her to stop him. She would cry and cover her ears, screaming to me that she was so sorry.” I rolled my eyes and then paused for a long moment. After looking away from him, I came back to my senses somewhat.
“I do not know why I am telling you this.”
“It doesn’t matter why. The point is that someone is hearing it.”
“I swore I would never speak of it again. I made my mother swear that we would pretend it never happened. She was apologetic for allowing Mike to convince her that I was just projecting his image onto the face of the true person who had done that to me. He also told her that I was a fanciful little girl who enjoyed making up dramatic stories like what I read in my books. His lies were outrageous, to say the least. I never would have believed them. I swore a lot of things to myself after that. I swore I would never allow a man near me again. I swore I would never be vulnerable like that again. What you and I are doing now goes against everything that I have ever believed.”
“And how do you feel about going against everything you’ve ever believed?”
I smiled slightly as I looked into his eyes again.
“Because it is you, I don’t mind. At least not anymore. If there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty and with no shame, it is that I trust you, James. You promised me a moment ago that you would never hurt me that way and I believe you with no doubt in my mind. You do not have even a trace of that cruelty in your heart. I trust you.”
How he had managed to break through the defensive walls of everything I had ever sworn to myself, every protective measure that I had set into place, I will never fully understand. I give all the credit to fate; James and I were meant to be together for reasons that were unclear to us then.
“Good,” He kissed my hand, “I know that your trust is hard-earned. I appreciate that. I won’t ever make you sorry. I promise.”
I nodded.
“I have never told anybody this before. It is strange, to share it so openly. I do feel a great deal of shame, which is why what Elijah said was so incredibly hurtful. If I had feelings, they might have been hurt.”
“Oh, Lord…” James rolled his eyes. “That’s another Brynna-ism.”
I grinned.
“I can never outwardly admit being hurt. That’s why I never cry. It’s weakness. I don’t tolerate weakness in myself or in those that I helped raise. That’s why Violet gets the brunt of my insanity. You know, I look at Violet and Penny, and I cannot imagine turning them away if they came to me with that. If they told me that the worst had happened, I would believe them. I would not doubt for a second that they were being absolutely truthful. I would kill the man responsible as painfully as possible. I would feel no remorse for it. That is a horrible, immoral truth. It goes against everything we are taught when studying anything spiritual. But it is the only truth, James.”
“You don’t have to justify that to me. You don’t have to apologize for that. I understand because that’s how I feel about you. I’d kill anyone that threatened or hurt you. You don’t have to worry about being hurt like that again. It will never happen while I’m here. I know that you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. But I’ll always be right behind you, watching over you. I promised you that, didn’t I?”
I nodded, feeling tears well in my eyes. I reached up to swipe them away before they fell. We had covered a landmine-strewn emotional field together. I had discussed the horrid experience that defined my childhood with him when I had never been able to stomach the subject with anyone else. But I still would not cry in front of him. I would not cry in front of anyone. Quite simply, I would not cry at all, ever.
“Damn you, James Maxwell, you have made authentic tears come into my eyes.”
He smiled and kissed my hand again.
“But you don’t have to be upset about it because they didn’t fall, did they?”
“Nope. You will never see the day that happens. So don't hold your breath.”
“I won’t. I mean what I said, baby. You’re safe now. Your life comes before mine. I can’t…” He put both of his hands on my face, “I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know how my feelings for you grew this quickly. I’m not used to this. On Earth, I was in and out of different relationships from week to week. But you…” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, “You’re different. It hasn’t been long since I’ve known you but I think I felt this way from the very beginning, Brynna.”
I smiled, feeling more real tears in my eyes. He reached up and wiped them away.
“I feel quite the same way about you. And I know it was from the moment I met you. Well, after I realized that you were not trying to assault and kill me.”
“That took awhile.” He told me and we both laughed again. “I knew that you would warm up to me eventually.”
“I have more than warmed up to you. I feel great fondness for you.”
“Yeah, you’re not so bad yourself.”
“Oh, good.” I said with a smile.
“Do you want to go to sleep or do you want to go look around?”
“I know that you want to look around so I will accompany you. But let’s make it quick.”
The house was very easy to become lost in, even with James’s above-average sense of direction. We found our way into the kitchen, where there was a group of people cleaning up. Apparently, they had just had dinner while we were still downstairs in the cells. The kind people there offered us some food that they were wrapping to put away in the basement. We declined, but I did ask for them to send a generous helping of everything upstairs to Penny, Violet and Elijah. I even asked on behalf of the other three. They agreed, and we continued our exploration.
On the third floor where we had come from, there were enough rooms that few people had to share. Of course, the house's population included families that wanted to room together, so there was even extra space for anyone that came along looking for
shelter.
“We made the right choice.” A man told us when we stopped to talk with him about his experience living there. “There are three meals a day, a roof over our heads, and we’re safe from the natives and the other people from the ship. What else can we ask for?”
Still, I was reluctant to believe that all was well. I was never going to let down my guard, no matter how comfortingly normal my surroundings were. The joyful, relieved testaments of the other residents were not enough to break my cautionary view of our current situation.
James agreed that we needed to keep an eye out for danger.
“I don’t trust anything that’s too good to be true.” He told me, “I think these people are afraid and they’re willing to believe what they want to believe. It’s stupid to do that, as you well know.”
“Yes, I do.” I replied as I inhaled the smoke from the last cigarette in my pack. We were sitting on the back porch, staring out at the rain that had begun to fall. The smell was heavenly and should have convinced me that it was alright to believe that we were safe. But any sign from God or the Gods that everything was going to be okay was still met with distrust in me. I had three other people that I was responsible for. I could not allow my desire to feel secure to override my cynicism.
“They’re going to believe every word out of that guy’s mouth. He holds a lot of power and I don’t like it.” James told me darkly. I looked over at him to find that his brown eyes were illuminated by the touches of sunlight that were still able to break through the rain clouds. When I did not reply, he looked over at me.
“What? Why are you smiling?”
“No reason.” I said, “You are a handsome devil.”
He chuckled softly and leaned over to kiss me.
“That was a random assertion but I appreciate it very much. You're the female equivalent of that.”
“Oh, why thank you.” I grinned but then returned to the topic at hand. “Anyway, he is so timid and yet, I don't trust him. I don’t trust anyone that holds power over a whole group of people. I am surprised that so many people trust him after their experiences with my father.”
The Shattered Genesis (Eternity) Page 52