I walked away from Violet knowing something terrible was on the horizon. Whatever strength I had on Pangea was going to fail me soon enough. My world was going to be rocked and squeezed in the iron fist of someone's rage. As I kissed Violet's head and left her there to tend to Penny, I swore to fight the impending event until my very last breath. When I returned, I would keep them in my sight. I would keep them next to me, destroying any harm, tangible or otherwise, that hunted them.
I should not have walked away.
XXX
James and I walked in silence, side by side. I could sense his exasperation with me. We had come so far together; for once in his life, he was committed to one woman. For the first time in my life, I was in love with a man. Not only was I in love, but I was in love passionately. That love ran far deeper than I could possibly gauge. But the events in the world were pushing and pulling us together and apart. I could not deny that awful truth.
“Say something.” I urged him quietly.
“I don't have anything to say.”
“Tell me why you are angry. I know how much you love doing that.”
He ignored me, opting to stare ahead instead of providing me with a straightforward answer. I looked over to see that the torch light was once again casting a shadow over his eyes. It perfectly complimented his present emotional state of anger and unease. Just for a moment, I allowed myself to push into his thoughts.
Regret. There was so much tortured guilt. He had killed a young boy. Though he was still furious at the things the boy had said, he wished that he had been able to control himself. Why couldn't he control himself anymore? I made him so angry sometimes. What if he hurt me even when he was in his right state of mind?
I grasped his hand and pulled him away from the group.
“Believe me when I say that every time you've walked in front of me, I've been checking you out because those pants look awesome.” He told me quickly, “I'd like nothing more than to rip them off of you. But now isn't exactly the best time, my dear.”
“Shut up!” I whispered gently.
I placed both of my hands on his face and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. I slid my tongue into his mouth and shivered delightfully when I felt his moving against mine.
“Well, if you insist...” He said in between my kisses.
But then, just as he was beginning to ready himself for another passionate round of animal love-making, he pulled away. There was torment in his eyes as he ran his hand over his head and looked away from me.
“I think we need to stop seeing each other for awhile.”
Now, ordinarily, I would have immediately gone on the defensive. But luckily, I had trespassed into his thoughts for that one second. I had felt the tortured pain in his heart. I had felt his nauseating fear that I would one day be on the receiving end of his rage.
“Really?” I asked him after putting one hand on my hip and turning my head on the side as I observed him. He had become used to that stance; I used it when I was displeased with something he had said.
“Don't stand like that.” He warned me breathlessly as his gaze scorched into my own, “You know what that does to me.”
For some reason, the stance that showed my discontent provoked a heightened state of arousal in him. I wondered briefly what that said about our relationship. Realizing that it meant nothing, I returned to the topic at hand.
“You would never hurt me. So, stop worrying.”
“What are you...” He stopped and raised an eyebrow at me. Now he was the one that was displeased. “Really?! Brynna, I know we haven't exactly had a chance to talk about this, what with this ridiculous war going on, but we really have to set up some boundaries with your new ability.”
“Why? I happen to know that given how I baffle you so frustratingly, if the situation were reversed, you would be in my mind constantly, trying to figure me out.”
“Yeah, but that's because...” He stopped upon viewing the look on my face, “Alright, I just led myself into a black hole. Resurfacing...” He shook his head back and forth quickly to clear and reroute his mind to the current topic of discussion.
I walked ahead of him, keeping the torches of the others in my sight.
“Do you love me, James?”
“What?”
“It is a difficult question, I know. Surely, loving me is very difficult. You deserve a medal.”
“It isn't difficult, baby. You're difficult, yes. But that makes me love you more, I think. Yes, I love you. There's the answer to your difficult question: I love you. Don't ask me how it happened so quickly because I wouldn't be able to tell you.”
“I chalk it up to our animal nature.”
“I chalk it up to how hot you look in those pants.”
I turned back to him and beamed.
“Wow, James; you really know how to make a girl go weak at the knees. I would have mistaken you for a boy my own age when you said that.”
“Hey, you throw some tight jeans into the equation and every man becomes a drooling, overly hormonal twenty-two year old. Not twenty-two even; more like sixteen.”
“I do not know about jeans being the surest way, especially tight jeans. I mean, what if I were very overweight, or had a tail, or something?”
“Oh, my God!” He groaned before wrapping his arms around me from behind. He pressed his lips to my neck, right on the spot that always sent a burning, sensuous tingle down my spine. “You drive me insane! Why the hell would you have a tail?”
“Well, we are far more animalistic now than we were on Earth. A tail might be right around the corner, and you will have to deal with it.”
He laughed and I looked back at him; my smile grew upon seeing the light returning to his eyes.
“Well, this is proof that we've come a long way, my dear.” I smiled as he kissed me gently.
“What is?”
“If anyone would have threatened to end a relationship with me...”
“You would have knee-capped them?” James asked, “Should I be worried?”
“No!” I replied through my laughter. “I would have ended it first. I would not have waited for any reasoning. I would have been gone before my pride could be too badly shaken.”
“And then you would have knee-capped them?”
I punched him lightly in the chest several times. He let me land a few before he picked me up and held me against a tree. His mouth claimed mine as my legs wrapped around him and my hands grasped either side of his neck.
“This is the last thing that should be on our minds right now.” I told him, but I was kissing him back, needing to extinguish the growing lust in my heart for him. The battle with the Bachums could wait. We had to have one last round, just in case it was the very last time.
He pulled my shirt over my head and as my lips moved down his neck, he laid me down in the grass beneath a weeping willow tree. I watched for a moment as the flowing leaves swayed lightly behind him in the deliciously pure, crisp wind. I unzipped his jeans and reached beneath the hemline of his boxers...
“James! Brynna!”
We both stopped, still breathing heavily. His forehead was pressed to mine and his eyes were squeezed shut.
“I'm going to kill that man, Brynna.” He muttered to me before turning back to face the direction from which Don's voice had come. “What do you want?!”
I covered my mouth as I giggled. I could not help it. It was somewhat humorous. James looked at me, his white eyes turning back to their normal shade of soft brown. He leaned down, smiling slightly, too. His lips grazed mine and then pressed to them, this time harder than before; he was telling me silently that we would finish what we had started later.
“You think it's funny?” He asked me teasingly as his hands ran up the sides of my thighs and moved around to caress my backside that had been catching his eye so frequently that evening. He pulled me up so that I was sitting in his lap.
“Only slightly.” I kissed him quite amorously, for I was aching to continue. But
knowing that Don was still lurking about, waiting for us to join him, ripped the romantic mood to shreds. I was certainly not going to follow through on those carnal urges while someone, especially him, stood so near.
“I understand that with all the tension and anger in the air that the blood starts to run hot and all that. It's very difficult to suppress every animal instinct, including the urge to mate.”
I looked at James before bursting into laughter and burying my face in his neck to stifle the sound. Don's words were not that of a brutal, bloodthirsty tribe leader but of a high school biology teacher awkwardly preaching abstinence. My raucous laughter set James off, though he never quite achieved my level of amused hysteria. Men were always angrier at interruptions than women were. I certainly hated that James and I could not continue; my body and mind pleaded with me to forget Don's presence. But I could certainly recognize the humor completely in Don's gentle prodding while James barely could.
I pulled my shirt on, still chuckling softly to myself. When we returned to Don, he was looking away from us.
“I do apologize. Believe me, I'm all about doing what makes you happy. You two are well aware of that. But we've got a fight to get to. After that, do what you want.” He turned and walked away, muttering to himself about rambunctious, horny teenagers and forty-something year old men who should know better. I practically collapsed as the fit of giggles took me. James was the rock-solid pillar that kept me standing.
He wrapped his arm around my neck. We continued our walk behind Don.
For a few precious moments, we had forgotten the battle that was to be waged. We had allowed our spirits to join together in a moment of primal impulse and human connectivity. Our closeness had erased the fear we carried as we both silently pondered how we would continue our lives on Pangea without one another. I grasped James's hand tightly in mine for a moment. My breathing had suddenly gone shallow and I struggled not to stop walking, turn to him and throw myself into his arms. I wanted to cry hysterically while begging him to come home with me. How could I live without him?
My heart literally skipped several beats at the thought. When I looked up at him, his lips tenderly caressed mine.
“I'm right here.” He whispered to me. We were close to the others and he knew that I would not want anyone to know I was suffering from any ill emotion. I needed to be seen as fearless, lest I wished my fellow soldiers to pity or disrespect me.
“We're going to be fine. We're going to see the end of this. We're going to get home to Penny and Violet before you know it.”
“Whatever happens, just make it out of this.” I looked at him with the very plea I had just spoken even clearer in my eyes. “Promise me you will still be here tomorrow. You will do whatever is necessary to survive and go back home with me.”
He kissed me softly again.
“I promise,” He smiled crookedly, “I'll meet you at the finish line.”
I rested my head against his shoulder. We continued walking.
XXX
The Bachums' devotion to a higher power certainly paid off for them. They moved north quickly with nothing but their luggage and whatever supplies they could carry. I cannot imagine how they survived the biting cold unless a miracle had been bestowed upon them by God or the Gods. After a day of walking, our heightened immune systems were crashing, leaving us open to frostbite and unknown Pangean diseases. I could not help but worry for our lives.
“We have to stop!” Elijah shouted to Don as the wind and snow cast an almighty shield between us and the Bachums. “We have to camp for the night, Don!”
Don turned around to observe the “soldiers” he had such pride in. Several were stumbling along, shivering so violently they appeared to be seizing. Ones that could not walk were being carried; James and I were pulling Wes between us. No matter how aggravating the boy’s repulsively foul sense of humor was, we could not leave him behind to die in the snow.
“No!” Don called back to us, “They could pass by here! They'll kill us all!”
“We don't have a choice!” Christina, another woman who had joined our cause, shouted furiously, “We need to wait until this storm passes!”
“We need to keep going!” Don yelled insistently, “Come on! We can make it!”
“You're wrong!” Christina's son, Derek, bellowed in a rage that matched his mother's.
“Just start pitching the tents!” I called over the howling wind, “He'll stop!”
I was surprised that everyone obeyed my command immediately. Of course, my order was the more popular of the two. Of course they would follow it. I caught Don's scowl. Instead of shrinking back as I am sure most would have done after seeing the overly emotional performance he churned out the night before, I stared back, my eyes blazing with a fire that far surpassed his.
Don and I were no longer seeing eye to eye. Gone were the moments of levity between us. He was well aware now that I was becoming the more popular leader between the two of us. I understood what people wanted, needed, feared and loved far more than he was capable of knowing. I could not help but smile to myself. Immediately, I erased the smirk from my face out of fear that it would freeze there. I reached up to feel my nose and gasped in pain at my own touch.
“Please don't hit me with that.” I managed to gasp out to James as he got ready to hammer the stake for the tent into the ground.
“No. You haven't made me that mad yet.”
Even in the worst circumstantial binds, he managed to make jokes. I laughed and held onto the stake even more tightly. I only flinched the first time. After that, I knew that his hands were steady despite the cold and he would not hurt me.
We crawled into the tent finally, watching as the canvas over our head shook violently in the wind. My clothes were soaked through from the constant assault of snow and ice. I turned around to see him already peeling out of his equally saturated garments. I began to do the same.
“James!” I exclaimed in horror as I tried to unzip my light sweatshirt only to find that my fingers were no longer functional. He whipped around, his eyes wide in momentary terror. Upon finding me perfectly well except for the partial paralysis, he moved over to me.
“They're just cold, baby.”
The cold had weakened us both so terribly. Even whispering was painful. Every word jerked out of us as our bodies contorted in violent shivers. His blue-tinted lips worked into a frown of concentration as his fingers maneuvered around the zipper of my sweatshirt. He pulled it down slowly and then pushed the jacket off when the zipper finally broke apart. He pulled my shirt over my head with great effort but the real challenge was getting my jeans off.
“How do you like these tight jeans now?” I gasped out, prompting him to laugh weakly.
“We really didn't think this through at all, did we? Going north... gets colder, right? Simplest concept... Baby, you're the genius... I blame you...”
“Shut up... James...” The laugh that escaped me almost brought me to my knees. I had never been so cold. I had not thought it possible for the body to withstand such extreme freezing. I did not understand how it was possible to survive such an assault on the sense of touch. My skin burned even as it froze, the perfect paradox...
“Come on.” He urged me softly. I stepped out of my jeans, holding onto his firm shoulders to keep from falling over. “That's it. Whoa, whoa!” My legs gave out beneath me and my arms flew around his neck; I held on to avoid hitting the hard, frozen ground. He was on his knees, holding me around the middle.
“Easy, baby. Let's go.” He turned me sideways and let me collapse into his arms. Being so near death was provoking emotions in me. Luckily, my tear ducts seemed to have frozen shut, forever locking my rare tears inside. My frozen tears stuck in place forever were a permanent, tangible reminder of something I had always known; I could not cry. How ironic...
James made sure that I was deep inside the sleeping bag before he crawled in beside me. I cuddled up against his chest and locked my trembling arms around him.
His were around me, too, holding me snugly.
“Remember when I commented on your chivalry?” I whispered to him.
“Yeah.”
“You just proved it again.”
Another laugh. A kiss on my forehead.
“I try to make up for all the times that I'm a dog, remember? It’s just…” He shuddered for a minute. “…good karma.”
“Good to know.” I whispered, “James…” My voice rose suddenly as fear began to fill my chest with a cold almost as deadly as the stinging air outside of our tent. I would be nothing but a solid block of ice soon; I had always been so cold internally, ever since I was young and made the decision not to feel. Now I would be frozen externally as well. How ironic…
“Shh…” James whispered, “We’re alright, baby. Everything is going to be okay.”
I shook my head, cringing when my muscles, also frozen, were forced to jerk back to life with the movement.
“This is it. We’re going to die, aren’t we?”
He kissed my forehead and held me to him even more tightly.
“You’re asking me? You’re the one that knows everything.”
“I don’t see anything right now. That can’t be a comforting sign, can it?”
“We’re immortal. Can we die?”
“I feel like I’m dying. So yes, I suppose we can.”
“Just keep talking. Just stay awake.” He urged me, “We’re going to get through…”
His silence alarmed me. I sat up, turning our bodies so that he was lying beneath me. I grasped his face in my numb, almost unmovable hands.
“James?” I shook him only slightly. My strength was failing. I could summon not even a quarter of the power I was able to wield normally. I wanted to lay my head on his chest, close my eyes and let destiny have its way with us both. I did not want to fight anymore, in any sense. I did not want to awaken the following morning to continue our trek to the Bachum camp. I did not want to fight this war Adam had started. I understood that exterminating the other side was our only chance of living an immortal life on Pangea. If we wanted peace, we had to earn it. Though surely, there had to be another way. There had to be a way for us to exist harmoniously. But then, was there really? The Bachums and their mindless followers hated us for what we were. We resented their hate. While we lived by Don’s lack of rules, they lived under too many rules to count. We were too different to coexist.
The Shattered Genesis (Eternity) Page 68