The Longing

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The Longing Page 2

by Wendy Lindstrom


  Faint light glimmered from Tom’s office window just as Kyle had expected. Tom had taught him that any owner worth his sawdust maintained his books as meticulously as his saws, so Kyle had followed Tom’s example by reconciling his books and preparing his bids before leaving his mill each evening. If not for the need to collect money from Tom, Kyle would be at his own desk instead of leaving his work unfinished.

  Kyle dragged in a breath of moist air and tried to calm himself, to think clearly—and give Tom the benefit of doubt, one last time.

  He backhanded the rain from his eyes and entered the office where Jeb Kane, Tom’s mill foreman, was leaning against a tall wooden file cabinet covered with a sundry of saw parts. Kyle had known Jeb nearly as long as he’d known Tom and had always admired the man.

  Tom glanced up in surprise, then a smile of welcome filled his face. “What the hell are you doing out in this storm?”

  Kyle didn’t return the smile and Tom’s expression flattened.

  “Good God, what happened?”

  “Nothing, Tom. I just need to talk to you.”

  Tom pressed his fist to his heart. “From the look on your face, I thought someone had died. My heart’s jumping like a bullfrog. What’s so damned important that you would plow through this rain and scare ten years off my life?”

  “I need the money for that section of pine you bought from me. It’s been three months.”

  Tom’s gaze locked with Kyle’s. “Jeb and I were just discussing that problem. My saw broke down again last week and it set me back a bit. Can you give me another couple of weeks?”

  Even though Kyle suspected he was being railroaded, he couldn’t force a negative response from his mouth. “I’ll need it soon. I ordered another saw for my mill.”

  “I heard. I’m sorry about holding you up like this.”

  “Are you?”

  Tom’s brows furrowed. “What are you driving at, son?”

  At one time being called son had made Kyle feel less alone, now it made him angry that Tom’s greed was breaking that bond between them. “This is the third time you’ve put me off. I’m beginning to think you want to stop me from expanding my business.”

  Tom’s chin jerked up as if Kyle had punched him. “Would you like me to forget you just said that?”

  “I’d like you to be honest with me.”

  Tom’s eyes darkened. “Have you ever known me to lie?”

  “No,” Kyle answered honestly. “Nor have I ever known you to renege on a deal. But you’re holding me back and I want to know if it’s intentional. Is my mill getting too big for your comfort?”

  Tom’s face flamed and he pointed at the door. “Go back outside and let the rain beat some sense into your head before I’m tempted to do it myself.”

  In a physical match Kyle could have taken both Tom and Jeb, who were at least twenty years his senior, but regardless how upset he felt about Tom’s betrayal, Kyle could never harm either of the men he considered friends. “I want to know why you’re playing this game with me.”

  Tom slammed his fist on his desk, his body visibly shaking. “This isn’t a game, just a damned embarrassment I have to live with.”

  Jeb moved toward the desk. “Calm down, Tom. Doc Finlay warned you about getting upset.”

  “The hell with Doc Finlay!” Tom pointed a shaking finger at Kyle. “You listen to me, young man. Your father and I tangled over every stand of timber in this county for twenty years while we built our mills, but we never cheated each other. We played fair and never doubted each other’s word no matter how tense the competition got between us. We even managed to become good friends through all of that.” Tom grimaced and leaned his fists on his desk. His arms shook and he gulped in deep breaths, but he continued in a harsh, strained voice. “When your pa died, I treated you like my own son and taught you how to survive in this business. How can you stand here and tell me I’m trying to cheat you?”

  Shame filled Kyle. Tom had shown Kyle how to keep his family sawmill from going under. While Radford had been too tormented by his war memories to stay and help Kyle with their family sawmill, Kyle had shouldered the responsibility of supporting his mother and two younger brothers. He’d managed it by working hard and running the mill with an iron fist. He’d survived because Tom had shown him how.

  “Dammit, Kyle,” Tom whispered, swaying over his desk. “I can’t do this now. I’m not...feeling well.”

  Kyle and Jeb sprang forward together, but neither of them reached Tom before he collapsed on the floor with his fists pressed to his chest. They knelt beside him, but when Kyle felt Tom’s heaving chest, panic filled his own. “Take my horse and go for the doctor!” Kyle commanded, so used to being in charge that he issued the order without a second thought. “Hurry!”

  Jeb jerked to his feet and raced out the door, leaving Kyle with his own heart thundering, and a fervent prayer that his gelding would sprout wings and fly for help.

  Tom’s gaze locked on Kyle. “I...helped you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I pushed you about the money, Tom. I shouldn’t have doubted you. I wasn’t thinking.” Kyle stared at his friend, feeling helpless in the face of Tom’s struggle. “You could have used your experience against me all those years ago,” he said, using his voice to keep Tom conscious and focused on something other than his pain. “Instead, you made me a good businessman. You challenged me to educate myself and compete with you man to man. I’ve always meant to repay you for that. I’ve just never known how.”

  Tom gritted his teeth and panted. Sweat beaded his forehead. “Take care of Victoria...and Amelia.”

  “Of course. Until you’re on your feet again.”

  Tom’s face grew pale, but his gaze stayed locked on Kyle. “My daughter . . .”

  “Amelia is fine,” Kyle assured him, knowing the pretty schoolmarm would be safely tucked in her room behind the little white schoolhouse in Laona at this time of the evening.

  “She needs a...husband.”

  “She needs you, Tom. So does your wife. Jeb will be back with the doctor soon. Just stay calm until they get here.”

  “M-marry her.”

  Kyle snorted at the ridiculous notion of him marrying any woman. Despite Amelia’s drab teacher’s garments, she was tall and slender with thick chestnut colored hair that made his hands itch to pluck the pins from her prim chignon. Kyle would never forget the one kiss he had stolen from Amelia at her father’s lumberyard years earlier, but he had suffered enough heartache for a lifetime and had no interest in pursuing a personal relationship with any female. Not even one as gorgeous as Amelia Drake. Bachelorhood suited him perfectly.

  Tom gripped Kyle’s forearm. “Keep him away from her.”

  “Who?” Tom shuddered and Kyle gripped his arm. “Keep who away?”

  “Tell them...I love them.” A hard shudder passed through Tom’s body and he arched against the dirty pine planks of his office floor. His fingers gouged Kyle’s arm. “You owe me.”

  Guilt swamped Kyle. Despite Tom’s recent behavior, Kyle owed this man more than harsh words and hurtful accusations. “I’ll take care of your wife and daughter,” Kyle said, trying to ease the anxiety in Tom’s eyes. “I promise. Now stop worrying. It’s not helping you right now.”

  Pain streaked across Tom’s face and a dazed expression filled his eyes. Kyle’s stomach clenched and his throat filled with denial as he realized he was watching his friend’s life slipping away. “Tom!”

  Slowly, the deep lines in Tom’s face eased as his tense body relaxed on the pine floorboards.

  Kyle grabbed Tom’s shoulders and shook him, trying to jar him back to consciousness. “Tom!” he shouted. Another fierce shake loosened Tom’s jaw, but no air passed his blue lips.

  “Breathe goddammit!”

  Kyle shouted the order a second time, loud enough to rattle the windows, but Tom Drake couldn’t breathe. He was dead.

  Chapter Two

  Amelia Drake propped her forehead in her hand and lis
tened to the rain pummel the windows. It echoed across her empty schoolroom in Laona as she read a page in her teaching handbook—for the fourth time. To her increasing irritation, the words remained a jumble of nothingness. Between the noise of the storm and her wandering thoughts, she couldn’t concentrate on her work for a minute.

  The desk was distracting her again. Amelia slapped the book closed and shoved away from the massive pile of oak huddled in front of her like a mountain of secrets. She squeezed her eyes closed, but her imagination soared and fanned her private fantasies until her insides melted with longing. God forgive her, but Amelia craved the wild, reckless passion that had caused Miss Denby, the former schoolteacher, to toss away her teaching career and make love to a poor furniture maker on her own desk.

  There would never be a Gordon Prues coming to rescue Amelia from the life of sameness and solitude she’d been living since replacing Miss Denby. Amelia would continue to spend her hours with her students, and when they went home to their families each evening, she would stay behind in a cold, empty schoolhouse feeling her youth ebbing away. To know she would never experience anything so grand or exciting as Miss Denby’s passionate affair tore a vicious wound in Amelia’s soul.

  The bitter truth was that when she was seventeen Amelia’s own reckless actions had condemned her to this life of spinsterhood.

  She should have said no when Richard Cameron had pushed her to make love with him.

  A violent crack of thunder shook the building and lightning illuminated the damp, musty-smelling room. Amelia crossed to the window and rested her arms on the sill, gazing up at the angry evening sky, wishing she dared to step outside and feel the rain sting her skin, to feel free and alive for a few stolen minutes. But Philmore Bentley, president of the school board, and his nosy wife, Eva, lived next door. If they saw Amelia outside after dark, she would be severely reprimanded.

  Life as a teacher was painfully restrictive, but it was a virtuous, respectful position that she had needed after her disastrous affair with Richard. For four years Amelia had been trying to live within the board’s strict dictates, but her true nature bubbled and spit behind her facade like a volcano on the brink of erupting.

  She felt imprisoned in her small apartment behind the schoolhouse, but her teaching contract stipulated that she must live there. It was a suitable home for a single woman whose only visitors were her parents and her two dearest friends, Lucinda Clark and Evelyn Grayson, but it was stark and tiny and dreadfully depressing. Unlike Lucinda, who had three older sisters and whose house resonated with life and excitement, the silence in Amelia’s single room was deafening. It was devoid of the laughter and love Amelia felt in Evelyn’s home. No matter how many years Amelia spent here, the little box would never feel comfortable or warm.

  Thunder rolled overhead and the front door creaked open. Amelia shook her head and turned away from the window. Closing the door was a lesson she’d failed to teach any of her students. No matter who left last, the door always remained ajar. With a resigned sigh, she headed toward the front of the building to close it.

  The shadowy outline of a man suddenly filled the doorway and Amelia stopped in midstep. Runnels of rain slid off the wide shoulders of the man’s coat. He pushed the door closed against the wind, trapping her inside with him. She stumbled backward, wondering if she could make it to the door of her apartment and lock it before he could grab her.

  As if the man sensed her panic, he lifted the dripping hat off his head to reveal a handsome, familiar face. Stunned by Kyle Grayson’s formidable presence in her humble schoolroom, Amelia couldn’t fathom what would bring him here, in the pouring rain no less.

  Although they knew each other, and had even shared a stolen kiss when Amelia was sixteen, they had rarely crossed paths in the past several years. Kyle was a business friend of her father’s, and not long ago he’d been Evelyn’s fiancé before she’d broken their engagement to marry his older brother, but Amelia hadn’t spoken more than a polite greeting to Kyle in years. Not even during the brief dance they’d shared at a wedding a few months past. Amelia’s senses had been too stimulated that evening by the feel of Kyle’s hands on her waist, and the occasional brush of his leg against her own as they danced. It was the first time since she was seventeen years old that Amelia had touched a man, and to her embarrassment, she hadn’t wanted to let go of Kyle when the dance ended.

  “You’ll need your wrap,” Kyle said, jerking Amelia’s thoughts back to why he was standing in her schoolroom. “Ray Hawkins is coming with a carriage to take you to your parents’ house.”

  She searched Kyle’s dark, anguished eyes, but his expression remained as rigid as chiseled granite. Suddenly, her own heart stopped beating. She struggled to round her mouth and force her breath past stiff lips. “Who’s hurt?”

  “Your father collapsed with chest pains an hour ago.”

  “Oh, my God!” Amelia whirled toward the row of cloak pegs along the back of the room, but Kyle caught her arm, his grip firm enough to stop her but gentle as he turned her to face him. That he only stared at her filled Amelia with fear so thick she couldn’t breathe.

  “He didn’t...I’m sorry,” Kyle said softly, his voice filled with grief. “The doctor didn’t arrive in time.”

  Amelia’s body turned hot and her ears rang, but the cry echoing in her mind never left her gaping mouth. Backing away from Kyle and the horror of his words, Amelia shook her head. It couldn’t be true. Not her father. He’d started the fire in the schoolroom for her just this morning. He’d laughed and kissed her cheek before leaving to start his day at the mill. Just like he did every Thursday morning.

  “Jeb and Doc Finlay took him home to your mother,” Kyle said, his eyes dark, his expression filled with regret. “They’re sending Ray down with the carriage for you. I told them I’d ride ahead and make sure you’d be ready.”

  Her father? He couldn’t be...he just...no!

  “I’ll stay with you until Ray gets here.”

  Amelia shook her head. An unstoppable cry squeezed from her throat and tears blurred her vision.

  Kyle’s lips compressed and his nostrils flared, but his hard, unblinking gaze confirmed the truth.

  “Oh, God. Oh, Kyle, no!” Amelia clapped her hands to her mouth as tears streamed over her fingers.

  He caught her as she stumbled into his chest.

  Sobbing, she shoved against him, trying to push him out the door. “Take me home.”

  “Wait for the carriage. It’s storming.”

  Was he insane? What did she care about a carriage when her father...when he...oh, God...her mother needed her! And her father...her poor father . . .

  She tore herself from Kyle’s arms and bolted outside. Rain slapped her face and wind ripped her hair from its prim chignon, but Amelia barely felt it as she ran to Kyle’s horse.

  As she struggled to put her foot in the high stirrup, she heard the door to the schoolhouse slam shut. An instant later Kyle wrapped his strong hands around her waist. She gripped the saddle horn and hopped on one foot, frantically trying to hook her raised foot in the stirrup, but instead of lifting her onto the saddle, Kyle tugged her back.

  “Buck’s too skittish right now.”

  She struggled against Kyle’s grip, but he held tight. “Let go of me!”

  He didn’t release her.

  With an angry screech, she turned and slapped his wet face. The impact snapped his head back and stung her palm, but his look of shock didn’t stop her from reaching for the saddle horn again. She was going home, and she wasn’t waiting for a damned carriage.

  The horse reared and danced away from her, but Amelia charged forward to grab the slippery stirrup. Her feet tangled in the hem of her muddy, wet dress and she stumbled into Buck’s side.

  “Get back!” Kyle’s voice cracked like the loud burst of thunder as he dragged her away from the rearing horse. “Amelia! Ray will be here any second. Get your wrap and wait inside.” Like a giant handcuff clamping her waist
, Kyle’s strong hands turned her toward the school.

  Amelia refused to wait for a carriage or let Kyle drag her back into the building. She twisted around to face him and struck his granite chest with her fists. Then she screamed with all the panic she felt bursting inside her. Even in the pouring rain and booming thunder, her neighbors would have heard the earsplitting scream. They would come outside and distract Kyle. Then she would take his horse and race for home.

  Kyle caught her chin and forced her to look at him. “It’ll ruin you if you’re found out here with me.”

  “My father’s dead, Kyle! Do you think I care?” She opened her mouth, intending to scream until he released her, but Kyle hooked an arm around her waist and yanked her against him. He cupped the back of her head and pulled her open mouth into his thick-muscled shoulder.

  Bound hard by his arms, and partially sheltered from the rain, Amelia felt she’d been pulled beneath the protective limbs of a giant tree. Her heart and mind hung suspended in a weird silence that amplified Kyle’s hard breathing and the sound of rain splattering against her skull.

  The crack of a gunshot ripped through the night and jerked Amelia back to the present, to death, and the searing pain that shredded her heart.

  Kyle’s hand shot out and snagged the reins of Buck’s bridle before the gelding could bolt.

  “Unhand her this instant!”

  They both jerked their heads toward Philmore Bentley who was marching across his soggy yard with a rifle in his hands. Eva Bentley, the strictest board member and town gossip, stood on her porch squinting in their direction.

  Kyle urged Amelia away from him and the deadly end of Philmore’s gun, but she clung to his hand. “Help me, Kyle. I need to get home.”

 

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