by Linda Kage
Curious how she would answer, I cocked my head to the side to hear her response.
“Well,” she started, pausing only to let out a long, thoughtful sigh. “I guess the truth is beautiful because it’s pure and undiluted. There’s no lie or deception in it. It’s full of enlightenment, telling you everything you didn’t know before. And knowledge is pretty spectacular, right?”
When she paused, I had to guess she was waiting to receive a sign of understanding from my sister. Then she went on.
“But… The truth doesn’t sugarcoat anything. It won’t only show you the good stuff. Truth is everything, good and bad. And sometimes learning those bad parts can shake you…right down to your core. It can leave you forever changed, not always in a good way. So instead of springing the whole truth on a person all at once—bad parts and all—you’ll sometimes either conceal it, waiting until you think they can handle it, or you reveal it in a gentle way that doesn’t hurt them. Does that make sense?”
Hell, yes. It made more sense than I wanted it to. There’s no way I could ever tell her anything like my appointment I’d had months ago with the couple I’d run into tonight. There was no way she’d ever be able to handle an undiluted truth like that. She’d never look at me the same again.
But it also made me realize Reese was honestly the only person I’d ever given even some of my truths to. I’d never actually talked about my secret occupation with anyone before her. My clients knew, of course. But I’d never opened up with any of them and actually discussed my side of the job or mentioned why I did what I did.
Suddenly the line in that kid’s book meant even more to me. You couldn’t trust just anyone with your truth. They would see all of you, the good and the bad. It was scary as shit to show someone important to you all your flaws. What if seeing your imperfections scared them off? Or what if they stuck around, only to use your confessions as a weapon against you. They could slaughter you with your own truth.
Patricia had done that to me. She’d found out what was most important to me, she’d found out my weaknesses, and she had attacked repeatedly until I felt like the stunted shell I was now.
So yeah, you definitely had to be careful with who you trusted.
But for some reason, I had trusted Reese with bits of my truth. After surviving Patricia’s numerous manipulations, why the hell had I risked that? How had I known Reese wouldn’t abuse my confidence? What the hell had I been thinking? I could’ve repulsed her and chased her off. She could’ve turned on me and exposed me to the world. She could’ve pointed and called me the sick, repulsive bastard I felt like I was. She could’ve slaughtered me.
Except she’d done none of that. She’d taken it all in, absorbed it, and still accepted me for a mess of a soul that I was.
“That’s deep,” Sarah said from inside her room.
Reese laughed with that laugh I loved, jarring me back to the present where she now inhabited my world and made me feel more alive than I had in years. It might be dangerous for her to associate with me, but hell, I couldn’t regret meeting her or spending the time with her that I’d gotten.
“Oh, my precious Sarah,” she sighed in delight, “I cannot wait until you finish the entire series. Dumbledore is chock-full of one-liners that are so deep you could spend years just thinking about each one and all the different meanings they have. One of my favorites is from the third book. He said, ‘Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.’ Whenever I’m feeling down, I just remember that line, and I think of something bright and happy that lightens the pain until it doesn’t hurt quite so much anymore. You see, the light is inside you, not anywhere else. No one else can really make you happy but you. You just have to remember to turn on that place inside you that makes you glow and you’ll make it through any hard time that comes at you.”
Damn. I might love this girl.
Because the light inside her had to be so fucking bright it had helped me see through my darkness too. This past week, I hadn’t felt as miserable and downtrodden as I usually did. I had just been…happy. Because of her.
Soaking in her words, the sound of her voice, the very essence of her spirit that floated into the hall and cloaked me like a warm blanket, I sank to the floor and sat with my back to the wall. Then I rested my forearms on my bent knees and tipped my head up toward the ceiling so I could close my eyes and just listen to her.
“But…” she told Sarah, “if we sit here and keep thinking about all the beautiful hidden meanings in Harry Potter, we’d probably end up like someone in front of the Mirror of Erised and waste away, entranced by the wisdom of Dumbledore, so… Let’s get this story read, shall we?”
Her voice changed as she started in again, quoting the text. I listened for a few minutes before slipping away, silently escaping into my room so neither of them would realize I was home. I didn’t want to interrupt their special time together and, besides, I still felt kind of raw after what Reese had done to me with her few simple words to my sister.
Actually, I was pretty sure I would never be the same again.
Because if my light was inside me, and Reese knew how to trigger it into turning on, then she must be pretty damn integral to me. I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do about that.
Confession #16: But I usually followed a smart decision
with a really stupid one.
The next day, I had to work an afternoon shift at the Country Club. Since it was Labor Day weekend, the place was pretty dead. Waterford sat less than an hour from the ocean, meaning that’s where most people went on holidays or long weekends, which was fine by me. I didn’t mind the break.
The only people who showed up at the Country Club were some regular locals who pretty much came every Saturday for the seafood lunch special or a game of golf. Oh, and Alec Worthington pulled his Maserati up just before I finished my shift. When I noticed a brunette was sitting in the passenger seat—not a blonde like his girlfriend, Eva, was—my gut knotted with instant tension.
If Worthington had moved from blonde Eva to brunette Reese, I’d… Hell, I wasn’t sure what I’d do, but it’d probably be ugly. I hadn’t been busting my balls to keep her from being hurt by Patricia only for her to go off and get mixed up with an ass like Alec.
Before I thought it through, I’d bypassed the driver’s door so I could pop around to the passenger’s side and open it, holding my breath as I looked down at who was inside.
And I immediately felt like an idiot. But seriously, what had I been thinking? Reese was way too smart to fall for such an obvious player like Worthington.
When a complete stranger blinked up at me, looking slightly startled by how quickly I’d opened the door for her, I felt even more foolish. Offering her a nod and tight smile, I held the door open until she slid from the car, sending me an interested once-over before she sashayed around to meet Alec.
Patting her on the ass, he sent her inside ahead of him and smirked at me as he waited for me to close the door and make my way back to him so we could exchange keys and valet tickets. When he handed me a tip, he kept hold of it a second longer so I’d look up at him.
“A little extra there,” he said discreetly as he glanced down at the cash he hadn’t quite let me take yet, “so you won’t mention to Eva who I came here with today.”
Ah, so he was still dating Mercer, then. I held in a grimace. Cheaters always turned my stomach sour, and I never got why they openly flaunted their side pieces in public places where they brought their main girlfriends. Or was Eva supposed to be the secret side piece in this situation? I had no idea and I really didn’t care. Either way, it made Worthington a scumbag in my book.
“Of course,” I lied, although it wasn’t like Mercer and I really talked, so I doubted I’d have the occasion to tell her the truth, anyway.
Worthington finally let me have the tip. He smiled, nodding his approval. “Oh, and feel free to stop by her party tonight at her place.” He handed me a fly
er with all the details on it. “Her parents are out of town, so we’ll have the works. It’ll be fun.”
“Yeah? Thanks,” I said, taking the sheet, with no plans whatsoever to socialize with this creep or his pretentious girlfriend.
But then the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if Reese would be there. She and Mercer were friends, so it made sense that she might. And the more I thought about her showing up to Eva’s party, the more I worried.
The place would be packed with Worthingtons. Not like literal members of the Worthington family, but carbon copies of Alec. All rich, self-inflated pricks with pretty faces and fake smiles who’d only cheat on her like it was his God-given right to do so the moment she started dating one of them. My gut churned. I had a feeling she probably wouldn’t go for one of those douches, but they’d definitely go for her. She’d have all kinds of wealthy assholes sniffing around her all night long.
By the time my shift at the Country Club was over, I’d convinced myself I had to go to that party. I swore it had nothing to do with the fact that I ached to see Reese again; I had to go because she needed a…hmm, not a savior—as I’m sure she could take care of herself—but maybe a companion to run interference and help stave off the flood of jerks who’d want to approach with the sole purpose of getting into her pants.
So, I’d be like the opposite of a wingman. I’d be a…a cockblocker. Yes, and she’d thank me for showing up. Civil service Mason to the rescue.
But even as I showered and dressed for the party after I got off work, I knew I couldn’t just show up. I totally wouldn’t fit in. Not only was this not my crowd, but I typically didn’t attend any party. I was usually working or watching Sarah. My social life in the past few years did not involve partying. I’d stick out like a sore thumb. So I grabbed Reese’s Harry Potter book as I headed out the door, since Sarah told me she’d finished it herself that afternoon while I’d been at work. It only seemed right to return it to Reese now.
And that had to be the lamest reason to attend a party in all the reasons to do anything. It ranked up there with women telling men they had to wash their hair as an excuse why they couldn’t go on a date. But I’d already come this far; I wasn’t backing out now. I had to see Reese.
The place was already packed by the time I arrived; I had to park two blocks away. My heart kicked into overdrive. What if I was too late? What if some guy had hit on her, and she actually liked him, and I walked in the door to find her making out with him in some dark, intimate corner?
I nearly restarted my Jeep and kept driving.
But a small group of guys passing in front of my ride glanced curiously through the front windshield at me, and they all looked like total assholes who would hit on Reese relentlessly, so I took a deep breath and exited the vehicle.
My gaze went straight to the corner of the room as soon as I crossed the threshold of the Mercer house. No one was making out there, so my heart rate settled a smidgeon, only to lurch again when I noticed that everyone was staring and leaning in to talk in hushed tones, probably about me. Even Alec Worthington seemed shocked that I’d just walked through the doorway. He said something to his pals as he watched me, making them laugh.
Great. I was the laughing stock. Always nice to be.
I didn’t spot Reese or even Eva so I dodged toward the first entrance I saw that led me into another room. When the same thing happened there, I just kept wandering, trying to act as if I knew what I was doing and where I was going. My hopes fell every time I didn’t find Reese anywhere. What if she hadn’t even come, and I’d attended this stupid, rich-kid party for nothing?
That’s it. As soon as I found an exit, I was out of here.
Entering a quieter back hall, I breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be free of all the gawkers and whisperers. I’d just spotted a door that looked as if it led outside when I heard her voice.
“Why is he at one of your parties then?” Reese was asking as I turned to see her huddling near the other end of the corridor with Eva.
I was so glad to see her I could’ve hugged her.
But instead of hurrying forward, I slowed to a stop and lifted my eyebrows with interest. She wore a dark blue romper thing, with her waist cinched with a wide sparkly silver belt and the shorts on the bottom part extra short, making her legs look incredibly long and incredibly tan. My mouth went dry, and my heart thudded hard against the inside of my chest. Damn, she looked good.
As I approached from behind, Eva answered, “Because anyone who’s anyone comes to my parties. They are the bomb, baby.”
“Unfortunately, she’s right,” I said by way of announcing my presence. “Mercer does know how to throw a hell of a party.”
This might’ve been the first one I’d actually attended, but I’d heard the rumors after working at the Country Club. And from the sound of it, they were pretty wild.
Both ladies jumped before looking up at me, and then I was the one who got the surprise when I saw they each bore nose rings. Neither of them had worn nose rings the last time I’d seen them.
It was dangerous how sexy and sassy Reese looked with one.
“Mason,” Eva hissed, her eyes narrowing. “What a surprise. I rarely see you at these. And I don’t recall inviting you to this one, either.”
“No,” I agreed, smirking at her cheekily. “But your boyfriend did.”
“Hmm,” Eva muttered bitterly, “I’ll be having a few words with him about that. Trust me.”
“Okay, hold up,” Reese broke in, lifting a hand. “I don’t get this. Mason didn’t take advantage of you when you were drunk, and you don’t want him here. Yet that Ty guy I just met cheated on you twice, and you hugged him in welcome. That makes no sense.”
Seemingly confused by the question, Mercer shook her head slightly. “ReeRee,” she said in a placating tone, “Ty is the son of a judge. This…person…”—she motioned to me with a disregarding sniff—“is nothing but a holier-than-thou male prostitute.”
The insult hit home hard, so I chased it with a sneer. “A prostitute who turned you down,” I mocked. “Pride stung much?”
She glared at me. “You are such a smug—”
“Bastard,” I finished for her, my voice pleasant. “Yeah, I remember.”
“You don’t belong here.” She balled her hands into fists, damn near vibrating with fury. “How dare you crash my party? You’re a nobody from nowhere who—”
“Hey!” Reese stepped in front of me and faced off with her friend. “Back off. You invited everyone and their dog tonight. Stop being such a stuck-up snob. I want Mason to stay. He’s fun to talk to.”
My little defender.
This was one of the reasons why I always wanted to be around her, even though I knew I’d never be good enough for someone as pure, and sweet, and innocent as her.
Eva scrutinized her a moment. The two girls were such opposites with their personalities, it made me wonder why they were even friends. Taking hold of Reese’s arm, Eva leaned in and said, “Remember what I told you, ReeRee,” even as her gaze rose to me, “don’t do it.”
The challenge in her gaze told me that line was definitely in reference to me. I watched her as she pulled back and turned away, strolling down the hall in order to leave me alone with Reese.
“Don’t do what?” I had to ask.
Reese whirled to me, her eyes wide with guilt. Then she cleared her throat quietly and mellowed her expression before saying, “I think she’s worried I’ll follow in her footsteps and try to throw myself at you like she did.” She added a shrug as if it were no big deal, which made me think there was a lot more to the story than that.
Instead of letting her see how appealing the idea of her throwing herself at me sounded, I teased her, trying to convince her that she was a lot like Eva so she just might do what her friend suggested. But my teasing appalled her.
When I tapped her nose and mentioned the ring there and how I knew the two of them must’ve gotten them together, she covered
the diamond stud with her hand and frowned at me. “Okay, fine. But I don’t follow her over the cliff every time.”
“No,” I finally had to agree. “But I’m glad you did this time. That ring makes you look incredibly hot.”
Which was true. She’d always been girl-next-door cute, but this put a sexier edge on her. One that made my blood quicken.
Except, holy shit, why had I admitted that out loud? Why did I always reveal more than I knew I should around this girl?
I had teasingly flirted with her before, but nothing quite as overt as this.
Holding my breath for Reese’s reaction, I watched her cheeks flush before she cleared her throat and glanced away, but then a pleased grin lit her face, and I knew she liked what I’d said.
Things inside me grew warm. Anticipatory tension tightened my muscles.
Blowing out a breath, I quietly admitted, “I knew you’d be here tonight.”
Reese jerked her face up. “You… You’re here because of me?”
She looked so delighted that I had to check myself to keep from reaching for her. Blowing out a bracing breath, I held in the things I really wanted to say.
Like:
Of course, you’re the reason I’m here. I like you.
I can’t take on clients anymore because I like you so much.
I want to be with you.
But I can’t be with you because I’ve already put you in more danger than I can even tell you you’re probably in.
With that mental splash of cold water on my face, I suddenly waved the book I’d forgotten I was holding.
“Here,” I mumbled. “I wanted to return this.”
She looked down at the Harry Potter book before slowly taking it back. She seemed somewhat disappointed and a bit confused before her eyes widened. “You mean, you finished it? Already?”
I nodded, suddenly feeling like a nerd. “Sarah… She kept pestering me and wanted us to read as much as we could together. I think I missed a couple of homework assignments because we had to read it every free chance I had.” I breathed in a deep breath, lifting my shoulders. “So… What’s the name of the second one? The Secret Chamber, or something like that?”