We all knew she had entered into a bigamous marriage with Dad and had also stolen money from her employer when she had had the housekeeper’s job. Her crimes had landed her in prison but maybe her jail sentence was over and she was now a free woman? But why come back to Dundee? As far as I knew, she had no friends or relations in the town so why make the move back? I hoped and prayed she wouldn’t cause any more trouble in our family. I was grateful Rosie and Lily hadn’t seen her – that was one blessing.
Afterwards, back at the Overgate, when I was alone with Granny, I told her of this new sighting. She sounded worried. ‘So it was Margot you saw the other week, Ann.’
I nodded unhappily.
Granny said hopefully, ‘Maybe she’s just passing through. And you didn’t know who the man was?’
‘No, Granny, I only saw his legs. He was leaning back on the bench and Margot had her body turned towards him but I know it was her.’ I relived the scene in my mind – the man’s legs stretched out but his body hidden by Margot. He must have said something to her that annoyed her because she turned her head away and I saw her profile. Had it been my imagination that she had been angry by his remark? The more I thought of it, the more I became convinced she had been angry.
Then Hattie arrived and we didn’t say any more – the fewer people who knew about her homecoming the better. Hattie looked morose. Not a word about the non-event of a proposal at Christmas had ever been mentioned again but I suspected she regretted telling me. Still, her secret was safe with me and maybe Graham would propose this year.
‘What’s the matter with your face, Hattie?’ Granny asked. ‘You look like a wet Wednesday.’
Hattie sighed. ‘Oh, we’re all down in the dumps at the moment – even the Pringles. We all thought the war would be over by now but it seems to be getting worse with these awful buzz bombs that are killing people all over the place. Nobody’s safe. Maddie and I were counting the days till Danny’s return but now she thinks she’ll never see him again.’
Granny tried to be cheerful. ‘Well, we’ll just have to hope that it’ll be over soon, one way or another.’ Then, changing the subject, she asked, ‘How’s Graham?’
Hattie gave me a quick look but I didn’t catch her eye. ‘Oh, he’s away back to Clydebank on business but he hopes to be back tonight.’ Although the words sounded light and carefree, I got the impression she wasn’t happy.
Bella then appeared. Hobbling forward, she threw herself into the best chair by the fireside. ‘My feet are killing me,’ she complained loudly.
Hattie gave her a sour look but Bella was too busy inspecting the insides of her shoes. ‘I don’t think shoes are as well made as before the war, Nan. These shoes say a size five but they’re fair nipping my feet. I’ve got a big blister on my heel and it’s fair thumping with the pain.’
Satisfied that we had all got the message on the feet front, Bella now turned her attention to Hattie. ‘I see you’re still single, Hattie. I would have thought your fancy man would have asked you to marry him before this.’
Hattie glared at her but Granny stepped in. ‘Well, maybe Hattie and Graham are planning something Bella but they’re keeping it quiet from nosy parkers like us.’
Hattie gave Granny a grateful look and said, ‘It’s time I was away back home. I’ve got Graham’s tea to make. He’ll be back between six and seven o’clock.’ On that crisp note, she swept out.
Bella scowled at her retreating back. ‘Damn strange set-up she’s got with her fancy man. He’s getting all the comforts of home without the responsibilities.’ She gave me a sharp glance. ‘What do you say, Ann? Do you think it’s a strange set-up? Do you think he’s got a guilty secret?’
As a matter of fact, I was worried about Hattie’s relationship with Graham and the way it seemed to be heading but there was no way I would voice my suspicions to Bella. An answer like that would be food and drink to her and, within a couple of hours, it would be common knowledge to people within a mile radius of the Overgate. Anyway, I was too worried about seeing Margot and the unknown man. From my vantage point on the Esplanade, I had only caught a glimpse of his trousers and well-polished russet brown shoes. Although Dad owned a pair of brown shoes, he never cleaned them to this russet brightness. The only other pair of shoes I had seen like this belonged to Graham.
I moaned softly and Bella gave me another sharp look. ‘What’s the matter with you?’ This was uttered in the manner of making sure I didn’t have anything wrong with me. At least not in the company of the queen of hypochondriacs – namely Bella.
Granny looked concerned. ‘Oh, it’s just something I forgot to do.’ I hurried to the door. ‘I’ll see you later, Granny. Cheerio, Bella.’
As I was closing the door, Bella’s voice boomed out, ‘She’s becoming another strange lassie, Nan. It’s because her fella has also not proposed and we ask ourselves why.’
Granny was annoyed at her. ‘That’s great, Bella, coming from the likes of you that’s never been married herself.’
Lily had gone home with Jay and Rosie so I hurried up the Hilltown to pick her up. My mind was whirling around with worry. Then I wondered if I was getting into a panic over nothing. Thousands of men in the town probably owned highly polished russet brown shoes so why did I jump to the conclusion that this particular pair belonged to Graham. I stopped and gazed in the Easifit shoe shop window. It held a display of men’s shoes in shades of black and brown and I suddenly felt an attack of the giggles coming on.
One thing was clear – this fertile imagination of mine was working overtime just now. What did it matter if Margot was back in town and what did it matter if she sat on a bench with a man in brown shoes? She was obviously a free woman now and as long as she didn’t bother us, then her presence was of no concern to us.
I had reached the close when I realised the stupidity of my reasoning. What if Rosie should run into her? Or Lily? And even worse, what if she tried to charm herself back into Dad’s life. Would he let her? And if the brown shoes did belong to Graham then that was Hattie’s problem. Much as I sympathised with her, this was something she had to sort out herself.
I tried to put all this from my mind as Lily and I headed for home. A few weeks had passed since Greg’s letter with the news of his impending marriage but, with Jay’s illness and Margot’s return, I hadn’t had the time to sit and mope or cry with bitterness. At least that was one blessing to be grateful for.
12
Kathleen and Kitty came to visit us at Roseangle one Sunday at the end of October. I hadn’t seen Kathleen in ages and I was worried by her appearance. Her normally pale face was now white and drawn-looking and she had dark circles under her eyes. I thought she may have been crying recently but maybe I was wrong.
Before I could say anything to her, she nodded towards Lily and Kitty. She obviously didn’t want to speak in front of them. I went to the sideboard drawer and took out my ration book. ‘Lily, there’s some sweetie coupons left. Take Kitty down to the shop and get something for both of you. That’s if they have any sweeties left.’
Lily glanced at Kathleen. She was growing up so fast and I guessed she understood that we were wanting her out of the house but she took Kitty’s hand and opened the door.
‘Mind and hold tight of Kitty’s hand and don’t let her near the road,’ I called after them.
I made some tea and Kathleen sat by the window. ‘This is a lovely flat, Ann, and you get such a good view of the river.’
‘You’ve got a nice place as well, Kathleen. Your flat above the studio is marvellous and it’s also got a river view.’
She suddenly burst into tears. ‘I’m not living there now, Ann.’
I was shocked. Did that mean she was no longer working at the studio?
She wiped her face and tried to smile. ‘Sorry about that – crying like a big bairn.’
I was almost frightened to ask, ‘Have you given up your job?’
She shook her head. ‘No, I’m still there but I’ve giv
en up the flat. I’m back living with Mum and Dad at Lochee and Kitty goes to the school there.’
‘Did Mr Portland need the flat for someone else?’
‘Oh, no! It was all the fault of Mick and Maggie Malloy. They kept coming to the flat at night and making a big scene. I could put up with that in the evening in the privacy of the house but Mick then kept turning up during the day and he had a big row with Mr Portland.’
I could visualise the scene and felt so sorry for her. ‘That’s terrible, Kathleen. What did your boss say?’
‘Oh, he was very good about it – said it wasn’t my fault – but I decided I had to give up my independence and go back to Lochee. That way I can still work at the studio but for how long I don’t know.’
‘What does your mum think about this?’
She shrugged her shoulders. ‘She sympathises but says it’s maybe for the better. I’m still a married woman with a husband in a prisoner of war camp – Sammy the hero.’
I didn’t know what to say to her.
She turned her head and gazed at the river. ‘I just wish Danny was back. He would stick up for me.’
Danny. There wasn’t a day went by but I thought of him and I echoed Kathleen’s sentiment.
‘The worst thing is Maggie’s looking for a house for Sammy and us for when the war’s over. She keeps running to the factor and asking him if there are any empty houses nearby for Kitty and me and her precious son, Sammy. He was bad enough before the war but what will he be like now after five years of living in a camp?’
I knew it was none of my business but I knew Danny, should he be here, would have said the same thing. ‘You have to think of yourself and Kitty. Don’t give in to Maggie or her man. Just tell them straight that you’re not going back to him.’
‘That’s what I tell Mum but she says women don’t get divorces. We have to put up with marriage for better or worse – no matter what.’ Kathleen was on the verge of tears again.
I was shocked by this. I had always imagined Kathleen’s mum, Kit, to be a feisty, enlightened woman but now she seemed to be looking backwards. Then I realised this was her way of life as it was for countless women now and in days gone by. This culture had been accepted without question – not only by Kit and Maggie but by all their little community.
‘Well, Kathleen, what are you going to do?’
She said she didn’t know. ‘Maggie says once Sammy’s home and we’re back living together then everything will turn out fine. I can give up my job and Sammy will look after us.’
I had this dismal mental picture of Sammy and his little family. It wasn’t a pleasant thought and I could see that Kathleen was thinking the same.
Suddenly she said, ‘Let’s change the subject to something cheerier. If I tell you something, Ann, will you promise to keep it a secret?’
I wasn’t very sure but I nodded.
‘Do you mind I told you about Chris, Mr Portland’s son? Well, he took me out to a very grand evening in Edinburgh last week. He’s got this wee car and he drove us there. Petrol is rationed but he keeps some back for when he’s home. Oh, you should have seen the grand house, Ann, and the women were all dressed in super frocks and jewels and I felt such a frump. But Chris said I was the most beautiful woman there. I think he’s wonderful and I’m sure he likes me.’
A worry festered away in my brain. ‘You will be careful, Kathleen, won’t you?’
She tossed her lovely red hair. ‘I hope you don’t think I’m a toff, you know, liking grand houses and bonny frocks but that’s got nothing to do with it. I could live in a shed with Chris but could never live in a palace with Sammy. That’s the truth.’ By now, her eyes were sparkling and she seemed so unlike the woman who had entered the house a mere few moments ago.
‘Is Chris a photographer like his father?’ I asked.
‘Aye, he is but he’s a war photographer. He’s with Pathé News and he captured the D-Day landings on film. After this short break at home, he’s going back to the front line to photograph the action as the Allies make for Berlin.’
It all sounded so adventurous and I sincerely hoped that Kathleen would grasp any happiness with both hands. But I also knew it was difficult to go against a way of life that had been in operation for generations. No doubt countless women like Kathleen had tried to escape the clutches of childbearing and drudgery, only to be sucked under by tradition.
We heard Lily and Kitty at the door. They had managed to get some sweets but not what Lily had wanted. ‘The shop only had Spangles, Ann, but we bought them.’
It wasn’t as if she disliked these fruit-flavoured sweets – it was just that there was no choice in some of the small shops. Oh, the joys of wartime shortages!
After another cup of tea, Kathleen got up to leave. As we stood on the landing, she said, ‘Come and see us at Lochee if you can manage.’
I promised we would go on the following Sunday. After she left, I couldn’t get over all the problems that lay in Kathleen’s path and I hoped that she would surmount them all.
On the following Sunday, Granny said she would come with us to Lochee. ‘I haven’t seen Kit and her family for ages,’ she said. So the three of us set off to catch the tramcar.
Atholl Street was as busy as ever on this grey and misty, autumn Sunday afternoon. Although Kit was expecting Lily and me, she was delighted to see Granny.
‘What a big surprise, Nan! Ma is coming over later and she’ll be pleased to see you. I often think she doesn’t get the same good blethers these days and she misses it. Everybody is out at work and it’s not like the bad old days when the whole street was jobless.’
Kathleen appeared. She had been out for a walk with Kitty and she was out of breath when they came in.
‘Where did you go, Kitty?’ asked Kit.
Kitty said nothing but looked at her mother. Kathleen said lazily, ‘We went to Balgay Park and Kitty played on the swings.’
Kitty nodded happily. ‘I had a great time, Granny.’
Kit smiled at her. ‘Well, you go with Lily and get a drink of lemonade and cool down – your face is all red.’
Kathleen gave me a direct look and my heart sank. She had obviously been up to something and I dreaded hearing what it was. Fortunately, Ma Ryan arrived at that moment and she went over to sit beside Granny, a look of delight on her normally impassive face.
‘Do you fancy a wee stroll, Ann?’ Kathleen asked, an innocent look in her eyes. ‘You don’t mind if we go for a walk, do you, Mum?’
Kit shook her head and joined in with the conversation with Granny and Ma.
Outside in the street, Kathleen took my arm and fairly propelled me along the street, casting glances behind her as we went.
By now I was really alarmed. ‘What’s the matter Kathleen? What’s happened?’
‘I’ll tell you if you’ll keep it a secret,’ she whispered.
‘Oh, Kathleen, it all depends what it is,’ I said – I didn’t want to make a promise I maybe couldn’t keep.
‘Och, it doesn’t matter about secrecy. I’m so happy I don’t care who knows it. Chris is leaving after his leave and he met me in the park. We just chatted while Kitty played on the swings but he wants to take me for a drive in the country tomorrow. We can’t go far because of the petrol shortage but he thought we could have a meal somewhere. He keeps the car in his dad’s garage and gets the train back. That way he keeps some petrol in it. He says it’s for taking me out. It’s so romantic.’
My worries for her well-being returned with a vengeance. I tried to choose my words carefully and tried to think what Danny would say to her if he was here instead of me. ‘Does Chris knows you’re still married?’
She nodded. ‘Obviously his dad told him about my situation when he gave me the job but I told him about Sammy right from the beginning and I also told him I’m not going back to him when this war’s over.’
‘What if you’ve no choice Kathleen? What does the Catholic Church say about divorce?’
; She gave me a direct look again. ‘I don’t care. I only know I’m never going back to Sammy. And I tell you something else, Ann. In one way, I wish this war was over for Danny’s sake but, in another way, I just wish Sammy would stay out of my life forever.’
I was shocked but tried not to show it. ‘Why on earth did you marry him, Kathleen, if you feel like this?’
‘I didn’t want Kitty growing up without a father and I didn’t feel like this at the time. I really thought I loved him and that we would be happy for the rest of our days. I’ll tell you something, Ann. Do you mind before he went away to the war and he gave me that beating?’
I nodded, remembering all too clearly the day it happened – the day Danny and I found her and the baby in the little dark one-roomed house that had been their home. I recalled also how furious Danny had been and how, if he had found Sammy, he would have tackled him and given him some of his own medicine.
‘Well, that wasn’t the first time he’d hit me. He used to punch me every day but he made sure he didn’t hit my face. He told me nobody would believe me. Then, to make matters worse, on the day you and Danny found me, he made it crystal clear that this was going to be my life from now on.’ She turned her anguished face to me. ‘That’s what’s waiting for me when he comes back. That and the fact he’s planning a half dozen kids to knock the spirit out of me – his words, not mine.’
I put my arms around her. ‘Oh, Kathleen, that’s terrible. I’ve always thought you should make a new life for yourself and now you’ve just reinforced that idea in my mind. And I think Danny would say the same thing.’
She gave me a grateful look and we walked back towards the house. But, before reaching the door, I took her arm and said, ‘Just be careful, Kathleen. Please.’
She nodded. ‘I’ll try to be but I’m so happy that I don’t care one way or the other. I’m enjoying my life.’
As answers went, it didn’t do a lot to calm my fears for her safety but I knew there was nothing I could do or say that hadn’t been said or done before.
Granny was putting her coat on when we arrived back and Kit was chatting to her. Ma Ryan was sitting alone by the fireplace and I went over to say goodbye to her.
The Sun Will Shine Tomorrow Page 16