Granny and I awoke early in the morning and made some tea. Sitting by the side of the dying embers of the fire, I couldn’t describe the sadness we felt. It felt like a heavy iron chain around my neck and I wondered if anyone of us would ever feel happiness again.
It was still dark outside and a strong wind was blowing flakes of snow. It would be another cold day both inside and out.
Kit had invited us to Lochee but I knew I wouldn’t be going. What was the point now there was no Danny? I remembered all our times together when he had been a tower of strength to me during my time at the Ferry and also afterwards. I recalled his bright blue eyes and brilliant red hair, his laugh and his merriment. Suddenly the tears started to flow and I cried and cried. Sobbing harshly into Granny’s shoulder, my tears turned the sleeve of her flannelette nightgown into a sodden mass.
She let me cry for what seemed ages then said it was time to go back to bed. ‘Get some sleep, Ann. Our troubles will still be the same in the morning but there’s nothing we can do. It’s just a matter of getting through each day as best we can.’
We both went back to the large bed in the corner of the room and, in spite of myself, I soon fell asleep. My dreams were so disturbing and they were all about Danny.
It was daylight when I awoke and Granny was sitting by the newly lit fire darning one of Lily’s school stockings. Outside, the weather was grey and miserable-looking.
She saw I was awake. ‘Just you stay in bed, Ann, and I’ll bring you some tea and toast.’
We didn’t wish one another a happy new year because whatever 1946 brought us it wouldn’t be happiness. I sat up in bed with my tea, waiting for Lily to wake up. She was missing Danny so much – just like the rest of us.
Before we went to bed the previous night, she had said, ‘I’m glad we saw Danny on that newsreel but I wish I had said cheerio to him in the Plaza.’
In time would Maddie feel like that? I wondered. Would she look on it as a sort of goodbye to him?
There was a knock on the door. Granny sounded annoyed. ‘I hope it’s just Alice and not some drunk first-foot.’
She went to open the door with the darning still in her hands and I gazed listlessly at her. She opened the door and there stood Danny. I leapt out of bed, spilling tea all over the quilt while Granny stood as if in shock, still holding Lily’s stocking and the darning needle.
We both burst into tears and Lily, on hearing the commotion, also began to cry when she saw him.
Danny seemed taken aback. ‘Well this is a great way to treat your first-foot, Granny,’ he said. ‘I went to Perth Road and there’s nobody there. What’s going on?’
We would tell him later but not just now. This was the moment to savour his safe return.
I said, ‘Maddie and her family are away to see her aunt in Fife, Danny.’
I quickly got dressed while he had some breakfast. I hurried from the house. For some obscure reason, I remembered the telephone number of Maddie’s aunt. In the telephone box I placed my pennies and when I heard a voice, I pressed button A. When Maddie came to the phone, she sounded apprehensive. I was crying with joy. ‘Maddie, it’s wonderful news. Danny is here at the Overgate. He’s looking ill but he’s alive. Get here as quick as you can.’
While I was phoning, Lily had run up to Hattie’s house to give her the wonderful news and she rushed down to the house. A coat over her nightgown which in my bemused mind was another first for her. When she saw Danny, she threw her arms around him and started crying as well. We were all weeping and Danny seemed nonplussed.
Later, I heard that Mr Pringle had driven at great speed and Maddie, Daniel and the family finally arrived to a joyous reunion. Afterwards, Dad, Rosie, Jay, Alice and Bella joined us plus all the family at Lochee.
We were all crying and Danny said it was like visiting the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. Still, I noticed his eyes were bright with unshed tears when he saw Daniel. He hadn’t got the news of his son’s birth and he was overcome with emotion.
Was 1946 going to be a good year? I wondered.
14
Danny was really ill. His leg hadn’t healed properly and his face was gaunt and haunted-looking. His hair was still as red and his eyes still blue but they now seemed to have faded to a paler version. On his arrival at New Year, I had quickly noticed the washed-out effect that his eyes seemed to have.
Maddie was just so pleased to have him home and Danny … well, he was quite overcome when he heard he had a son, Daniel.
Unfortunately Daniel wouldn’t go anywhere near him. He kept saying he wasn’t the man in the photograph and that his daddy had died – Mummy had said so. Maddie tried to explain to him that she had been wrong but he still ran away when Danny went near him or came into the room.
Although he was terribly upset by this, Danny told a tearful Maddie that it would all come right soon. It just needed time. We were all anxious to hear Danny’s story and, when he told it, it was really upsetting.
‘I was sheltering with a group of my comrades in a house at Dunkirk when it was hit by a shell and I landed with a broken leg. The order then came for us to make our way back to the beach but, as I couldn’t walk, I thought I would have to stay where I was. Then this big burly chap put a rough splint on it and put me over his shoulder and carried me towards the beach. He had been a rugby player before the war and he said my weight was nothing new to him. Then the next thing I remember was waking up in a field hospital, not knowing who I was. I had been in a coma for ages with a head wound seemingly and I was really confused. One day this big lad came to see me and it was the rugby player. He was also injured and he told me we had both been hurt by shrapnel and we hadn’t made it to the beach. Then, still not knowing who I was, I was transferred to a German hospital. It was ages before I got my memory back. Then one day Sammy appeared. He had also been injured but not so seriously and he was being transferred to some prisoner of war camp. The German doctor was wonderful. He told me that not all the German people were Nazis. Anyway, he got in touch with the Red Cross with details of all the injured servicemen in his hospital and that would be when you got word about me still being alive, Maddie.’
She went over and gave him a huge hug. ‘That’s what kept us all going, Danny – that letter.’
‘I’d no idea where Sammy went to and the doctor didn’t know either but the Red Cross were told he was all right. The doctor tried to keep a lot of us in hospital but one day these SS guards arrived and we were all taken to a camp. We seemed to travel for ages and it was at least four days that we were in this cramped and overcrowded train and, when we arrived, the camp was full of Russian and Polish prisoners. We later found out the camp was on the Russian border.’
‘But we saw you on the newsreel, Danny,’ said Maddie.
Danny nodded. ‘I seemed to have bad luck when it comes to breaking my leg. The Russians were advancing and the camp guards rounded us all up and placed us in this block which was then hit by a shell. We were all buried and …’ His voice was full of emotion and tears filled his eyes.
I looked at him. ‘Don’t go on with the story, Danny. Leave it for another time.’
He shook his head. ‘No, it’s better to get it off my chest now and then I’ll try and forget the whole thing.’ He stopped for a moment, trying to get his emotions under control. ‘As I said, the entire block was demolished and most of the men inside were killed or very badly injured. My leg was broken again but I was saved by this big Polish chap who managed to lift a wooden beam from my leg. He saved my life and thankfully he also survived. Then the Russians arrived in the camp and we were all carted off to a Russian-run hospital. Sadly a lot of the injured men didn’t make it. I kept telling the doctors I was a British soldier but they didn’t seem to understand me and just kept telling me to lie down, lie down. One morning this French camera crew arrived. I later found out that they were filming the destruction and horror of the thousands of displaced people who were now refugees without homes or a country.
‘I didn’t get the chance to speak to the film crew as they were only in my ward for a short time but soon after this filming, the doctor in charge of this small, makeshift hospital told us that the war was over. All the Russian prisoners who had been with us in the camp had been taken away by the Red Army and it was only Polish and German soldiers in the hospital. I was the only British soldier. Of course we were all overjoyed and hoping to be sent home in the not too distant future. Then ten days later the tragedy happened.’ He stopped speaking and wiped his eyes.
‘Don’t go on Danny,’ said Maddie, clearly distressed.
‘I must finish the story Maddie and then perhaps I can try and forget all the horror and carnage of this futile war.
‘One night I couldn’t sleep and I kept thinking of all my family. Ma Ryan’s voice kept popping into my head and I couldn’t stop thinking she wanted to tell me something. My bed was next to the window on the ground floor so I decided to slip outside for some fresh air and to think things out in my mind. I went and stood by the fence that overlooked a forest. The moon was full and it was a beautiful frosty night with huge stars in the sky. I kept thinking how peaceful it was and surely it would only be a matter of time before I was sent home.
‘Then I heard the explosion and saw flames shooting out of the window of my ward. I tried to hurry towards the building but by the time I reached it the whole side of the building was well alight. There was pandemonium and chaos with patients jumping from windows, and the hospital staff trying to do their best to get everyone out. They managed to save the lives of patients in two wards but my ward and the one next to it were totally gutted. Everyone had died in their beds.
‘The next morning was even more chaotic. A couple of the doctors and some nurses also died in the fire and no one noticed that I had survived. But to be honest I was still in shock at the tragedy. Then we were all herded onto a truck to be taken to Poland but when we reached the Polish border the truck broke down. The men were all ill with breathing in the smoke and some had injured themselves in the evacuation from the building. We were all in dire straits.
‘Then out of the blue an American patrol turned up and they loaded everyone into their vehicles and transported us to some large town in Poland. I can’t remember its name but we were taken to a hospital where my leg was treated and dressed. I told the American captain I was British and he said I would be taken to Berlin and transferred to the British Army sector. But when the plane arrived it was scheduled to come to England so that is where I ended up. The American soldiers on the plane had a whip-round for me, they bought my train ticket in London and I arrived back in the sorry state you saw me in. They were my guardian angels along with Ma Ryan. If I hadn’t been thinking so strongly of her I don’t think I would have gone outside and I wouldn’t have survived the fire.’
Granny asked, ‘What caused the explosion Danny?’
Danny shook his head. ‘We never found out but some of the men said it was the old heating boiler. The hospital was an old army hut that was being used for casualties and when the fire started it spread rapidly. The boiler was in a room behind our ward and I can only think that was why the two wards caught fire so quickly. And the walls were wooden so that must have played a part in the terrible scenes we all saw that night.’
He looked totally drained and I was almost crying myself. He looked at Maddie. ‘The roads were full of people travelling with whatever they could carry on their backs, Maddie. It was awful. Most of the towns were bombed and even small villages had been devastated.’
Danny was still not able to go back to work as he had to attend the hospital to get his leg checked out. He was told it would take time for his leg to heal completely. The first injury had healed but the second one hadn’t, not properly, and he was told he would probably walk with a limp for a long time.
However, Maddie and Danny got ready to move back into their flat the following week but, before they did, Danny came to see me in the shop. He had just been to the infirmary and was on his way home.
Connie and Joe were delighted to see him but I knew he was worried about something. Connie had got into the habit of going home for a couple of hours in the late morning. I realised she wasn’t getting any younger and this was confirmation of my thoughts.
Joe was eager to hear Danny’s story but thankfully he knew he would have to wait till Danny was a lot stronger so they both wished him well before leaving the shop. After Connie left, I made Danny sit down on the chair. He still had a tired and ill look and I knew he was suffering from a lot of pain in his leg. I wondered why he had made the trip to see me.
He quickly came to the point. ‘We don’t think we can move back to Roseangle, Ann.’
I was totally surprised by his blunt statement. ‘But it’s your home, Danny.’
He passed a hand through his hair and I saw with remembered tenderness how it stood up like a small boy’s ruffled look.
‘It’s Daniel – he’s now screaming if I go near him. Maddie and the Pringles have told him I’m his daddy but he’ll not accept it.’ A spasm of grief showed in his bright but tired-looking eyes. ‘Mind you, I can’t blame the wee lad. After all, he never knew me till I turned up out of the blue. The photo he keeps looking at is a wedding picture and I look like a different person on that.’ He tried to smile but failed and instead he had a dejected look which broke my heart.
I had to agree with Danny about the photograph. He had lost his vibrant colour but then so had thousands of men. They had left this country in 1939 as young boys and returned as war-weary men – all except Sammy, it had to be said. He had returned as if he had never been away but then he hadn’t suffered a broken leg – and not just once but twice – nor had he been a prisoner of the Russians who spoke no English.
‘So what are you going to do, Danny? Stay with Maddie’s parents?’
He nodded. ‘We feel it’ll be better for Daniel to be in his familiar surroundings.’ His voice registered the deep grief he was feeling at Daniel’s rejection of him. Maddie had never envisaged this treatment. She had always thought Danny’s homecoming would be glorious, especially after the long anxious wait.
There was nothing I could say to him. No words that would comfort him. It was just a matter of letting Daniel get used to having his father back home – however long it took.
I felt so sorry for them. I was naive in thinking the war was over. It may have been on the battlefields but, for some of the returning servicemen, the war was still carried on their shoulders like an unwelcome raincoat in a heatwave.
I put my arm around him. ‘I hope everything works out for you all, Danny. It’s been such a long terrible time not knowing how you were and now all this worry over Daniel.’
He sighed and tried to smile. ‘Well, at least I’m back home and we’re all together – not like lots of people who have lost all their families. And I never got to say goodbye to Grandad. Did he have a long illness?’
I nodded, sadness washing over me at the memory of that time. ‘Maddie came and helped out and she was a great comfort to us, as was the doctor. Still, Granny said it was a blessing when he died because the pain would have got so much worse. In fact, it would have become unbearable and that would have been terrible for him.’
I was crying but then I always did when I thought of Grandad. I missed him terribly as did Granny and Lily and all the family.
Danny was upset as well. ‘Maddie also told me about Greg. We’re sorry it’s turned out like this for you, Ann.’
I tried to look unconcerned but my heart was hammering. ‘Och, well, it’s just one of these things that happen, Danny. He met someone else and they’re married now I expect.’
He looked at me as if he wanted to say some more but maybe thought better of it. Instead he said, ‘I can’t believe Dundee looks just the same as when I went away. The river and the bridge and all the buildings – exactly the same. There’s been such devastation in the world, Ann. I came through London on my way home and it’s r
azed to the ground in places. As for Europe, well, there are millions of displaced people and so many cities have been ruined. It’s a damned disgrace that one megalomaniac like Hitler could cause such devastation and mayhem.’ He sounded bitter.
I agreed with him. We had been lucky in our small corner of the world while others weren’t but, to change the subject away from the world’s woes, I tried to be cheery as I asked him, ‘Will you be going back to Lipton’s shop soon?’
‘Yes, I will but can I say something in confidence, Ann?’
I looked at him with apprehension. I hoped this wasn’t going to be another secret worry.
‘Well, I would really like to own a shop instead of working in someone else’s. It’s something I’ve always dreamed of and, if there’s anything this awful war has taught me, it’s to make up your mind to chase your dream. Looking at the poor people in the camps and the hospitals has made me realise that life is too short and that life can be snatched away at any time without warning.’
I was intrigued. ‘What kind of shop are you looking for, Danny?’
He gave it a bit of thought. ‘Something like a general store. I’ve spoken to Maddie’s Dad and he agrees with me that once the rationing ends, the shops will take off in a big way. Folk have some money now and they’ll be keen to buy all the things that have been missing from the shelves for years.’
‘Will Mr Pringle help with the money side?’
He nodded. ‘He says he’ll get me a loan to start off with and I have my eye on a shop in the Hawkhill. The owner is retiring and he’s not asking for a huge sum for the business because he let it run down during the war and the rationing. I think it has great potential.’
The Sun Will Shine Tomorrow Page 21