by Alice Ward
Her song played on, the only sound in the room for a moment.
“Yes please,” she whispered in a daze.
I took her plate, dishing up a healthy serving and did the same with mine. While the moment was very uncomfortable, this was actually going better than I expected. She took a bite of chicken, almost in a trance. However, she didn’t come apart or flee or make up more lies. It was progress.
“After lunch, I thought we’d take my horses out and have a ride around the property. The family owns most of this mountain, I’m embarrassed to say, but it’s really beautiful land. There’s a lake with a waterfall nearby and lots of interesting waterfowl, especially this time of year. Do you think you’d be up for something like that? It won’t be too rigorous, just a nice ride.”
As I spoke, her expression turned sad, and I couldn’t think of why riding a horse in the mountains to a beautiful lake would make a person sad. Unless they couldn’t ride… I really am an imbecile.
Her leg. She couldn’t ride a horse.
I threw the plan in reverse and switched gears. “There’s also an ATV in the barn, it’s called a side-by-side. Handy thing. Kind of a cross between a four-wheeler and a golf cart. It’ll get you anywhere practically.”
Her eyes slowly moved to mine and I could see the gratefulness there. I was surprised my heart didn’t fall out onto my plate. It took me a second to catch my breath again.
“We can have a little adventure and look at the mountains, watch the birds…” Kiss.
Well, hello, Mr. Indecent. You know exactly what you want to do with her, and it isn’t watching birds.
“That sounds nice,” she answered, still mostly in a trance.
“Do you hate me for calling you out? I don’t want to cause you more pain.” I took a bite of chicken to ensure I couldn’t say anything completely idiotic before she answered.
“I guess it was going to happen sooner or later,” she whispered and looked down at her plate.
“I’m quite a fan of your music. I have all of your CDs and a rare live recording. I’m trying to keep my cool here.” With my more than obvious fan boy crush written across my face, heat flared all over my body, my cock standing up so straight he could’ve led a marching band.
Great. Now she was going to think I was some kind of crazed fan who wanted to lock her up here. Fuck her silly. Keep her forever.
I swallowed down the dry lump of tension in my throat, and as discreetly as I could, floated my cloth napkin to hide the boner bandleader.
She remained silent, so I cleared my throat. “What I mean to say, is I admire your work. I’m not some crazed whack job.”
She reached her hand out and placed it on top of mine. “Roman, I’m not that person anymore.” Her voice was weighted down with sorrow.
I didn’t want her to be sad, but the depression now hanging in the room was certainly helping my boner take a seat, which was a relief.
“I don’t know you — the real you. The rock star you and the Butterfly you are images created by a fantasy brought to life. While I admit I’ve got a bit of a rock-star crush on Adara Wilde, the woman seated next to me is still just as much a mystery as she was when I met her a couple days ago. What I do know is that you have a choice to be who and what you want. Your life is going to be different now, just as you’re different inside now. You can be whoever you want to be, Adara.” Well, that wasn’t so badly spoken. Perhaps I was getting my mojo back.
She took another bite, chewed thoughtfully as she continued to gaze at me. The fear had faded, and her eyes looked more alive with each chew.
“Just so you know, I really like the woman I’ve come to know so far.”
Finally, the sweet expression I was becoming accustomed to when she looked at me took over her face. “And I really like the man I’ve come to know so far. You definitely have good taste in music, though I wouldn’t have taken you for a rock fan.”
She was playing with me. Additional progress.
“I’m multi-faceted.” I met her eyes, looked deep to make sure I hadn’t caused unnecessary harm.
We both fell silent as the next song came on. My urge was to blather on, fill the silence, but I’d already dug quite a deep hole for myself.
“This singer, Rain McAvery…” She closed her eyes and listened the song currently playing for a few moments. “She was one of my best friends in the industry.”
“Was?” I acted on instinct and reached out for her hand and held it.
“She never called me after the accident. Her agent sent flowers. Rumors had already started that I’d refused to leave the stage that night. They were saying things like I was a whore for the spotlight. Insinuating I may as well have killed him.” She shook her head and the look in her eyes told me she was remembering the way everything had spiraled downward after that night.
“Adara, listen.” I opened my heart, throwing my fears out the window. I reached over, turned the phone off, wondering if every song would have ties for her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t know if I did or not. I’ve never been able to remember everything that happened.”
“You didn’t. I know.” I took a deep breath. “I was there.”
Her head snapped up. “What?”
“I attended that concert. I saw it all from the VIP lounge. You did exactly what security instructed, so did Nate. The storm was supposed to hit farther to the west, and it didn’t. Then, the crowd didn’t want to comply. They didn’t want to miss the acclaimed couple. But no one could have known what would happen.”
Her eyes searched mine. “They told me he gave up his own life protecting me.”
I huffed. “Of course he did. What man in his right mind wouldn’t? Look, I know I didn’t know you, but I always followed your work and was so shocked and sad for you. Then when you didn’t surface, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I tried to find you.” I sighed, realizing how I sounded. “I swear I’m not a crazy fan.”
That made her smile at least, so I plowed on. “My knowing who you are doesn’t change anything for you. It doesn’t erase painful memories or recover any of what you’ve lost. All it does is make us more honest with each other, so that whatever… friendship arises out of this situation is based on truth. Your secret is safe with me as long as you want to keep it. You can stay as disappeared as you’ve been. But it allows us to stop talking in circles, get to know each other and get things out in the open between us. Without you being some ethereal creature from heaven.” I smiled, hoping the joke would lighten the mood. “Just slap me and tell me to shut up if you want.”
“I can’t.” Tears shined in her eyes as she smiled at me. “I have to help Brandy, and I need your help to do it. She’s the only person who’s stuck by me, even if I doubted her at times. If I’d actually shot Jack, it could have made her an accessory to—”
“It wasn’t loaded.” Her eyes flew to mine, and her forehead wrinkled. “She gave it to you so you could escape him, not kill him.”
She took a few moments to process that before meeting my eyes again. “I have to do something, I can’t just leave her there. Or the rest of them. There’s things happening there that shouldn’t be, beyond the prostitution.”
“Yes, Adara, I know,” I said gently and put my hand on top of her cold one. “I spoke to a detective friend last night when I left you in your suite. He’s beginning an investigation as we speak.”
When she stiffened, I squeezed her hand. “He won’t let harm come to them. It’s best if we stay out of the way until we can help your friends. Let me show you the sights around here for a little while.”
I breathed a silent sigh of relief when she agreed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Adara
He’d both shocked me and touched me deeply the way he made it known he knew who I was. And it surprised me to realize how much his reaction to my concerns made me want him to stop tiptoeing around me. His generosity and kindness had filled a hole in me that had been
chewing deeper into my heart for a while now.
It was like I had been set free. And the attraction that I felt for him suddenly tripled. I wanted him to yank me out of my chair, press me up against the wall, and grind that cock he couldn’t hide with a napkin against me until I forgot about the accident or Jewel or—
“Once you’re finished, I’ll see if I can root up some boots for you.” He was still talking about going out to the lake, but between the sexual tension and the shock of him figuring out who I was, I couldn’t process it all.
“How did you know?” When he didn’t seem to understand the question, I clarified, “How did you recognize me, I mean?”
“It was the moonlight. I’d felt like I knew you since the moment you fell into my arms. Then last night, when the moon lit you up in the car, it was like a spotlight and… there you were.”
He had such an eloquent way of speaking that I thought I could sit here and just listen to him talk all day. “I’m happy that you know, Roman. I was afraid to tell you. I guess I was worried you’d be like the others and make assumptions.”
Or that he’d want me to take off my mask. Dread filled my veins each time I thought of the day when I’d have to take it off, yet at the same time, I was ready. Almost.
“Never.”
For some reason, I believed him, and I thought he really could understand since his family was so high-end and in the public eye. But I couldn’t stay here forever, hiding in his home. I knew the day was coming when I’d have to salvage what there was left of me and face the world.
We finished our lunch, and since it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, a day riding around exploring his property sounded delightful.
Though I couldn’t ride, Roman and I stopped so I could meet his horses. One beautiful roan who was so speckled she looked like she should have been a cartoon character, laid her chin over my shoulder and sighed, winning my heart immediately.
“I wish I could ride her.” Stroking the horse’s neck, I leaned into her as she pressed her weight against me.
Roman looked at my leg speculatively, as if he was already making plans. “That’s Sissaleigh. She was my grandmother’s and has the disposition to match. Both sweet, both determined to get what they want.”
I laughed. “And what does Sissaleigh want?”
“Right now, she wants treats. We’ll bring you some when we come back, you.” He spoke directly to the horse like she was human, and she nodded her head and snorted like she agreed and couldn’t believe he hadn’t brought them the first time. “My grandmother died last year.”
“Oh, Roman, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, I miss her, and so does the horse. Feel free to come down here and bring her apples whenever you want.”
When he was finally able to drag me away from the horse, we got out his side-by-side and zipped over the fields. We rode around the lake shore, and he showed me the waterfall in the creek the fed water into the dammed lake.
His property was magnificent. His was the only house you could see for miles, and very secluded from everything. I couldn’t believe he liked living alone, way out here with just a housekeeper, in such seclusion. It seemed a bit too remote for such a vibrant man.
“Why do you live out here all alone?” I finally got the nerve to ask when we were seated near the lake under a vine-covered pergola in Adirondack chairs. When he’d said by the lake, I’d never envisioned something from a movie set. “It’s gorgeous, but don’t you get lonely this far away from everything and everyone?”
“Not really.” He stretched out in the chair and looked up at the blue sky. “It’s about a twenty-minute drive from my office, so I can be back in the thick of things pretty quick, and with all my international business, I spend a lot of time on the phone, which I can do here. Then there’s the travel.”
“I wasn’t talking about work.”
“Oh.” His eyebrows went up and he shrugged. “It’s hard to hide all this.” He spread his arms wide. “It’s obvious who I am, what I have before I even start dating a woman. Most want what I have and that’s all.”
“They want you for your money, you mean.” He shrugged again, and I sighed. “Sometimes, Roman, you can’t stop stupidity.”
He grinned, a full-on smile that made my toes curl. “Behind the ridge over there is a huge housing community filled with McMansions and a golf course. Every year they ask me to sell them a chunk of my land so they can expand the community, and every year I say no without an ounce of hesitation. If I wanted to be a part of the Nuovo rich scene, all I’d have to do is hike to the top of the hill, shimmy over the fence and I’d have my pick of buddies.” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
“God, you’re bringing back memories. I remember I couldn’t go anywhere by myself without security. The last time I did that, I stopped at Macy’s to pick up a new bottle of Chloé Love Story, and when one person recognized me it was like an avalanche. Mall security had to come get me and hide me in the stock room until it cleared out and I could leave.”
“We have crazy lives. We should write a book.” His head flew up off the back of the chair. “I didn’t really mean that. No books.” Then he sighed and flopped back down so hard his head made a clunking sound. “Ouch.”
Laughter built in my abdomen, and when it came out, it reminded me of when I was a kid and I’d open up a soda after not having had one for so long, and how crisp and clean and tickly it was as I took the first sip.
Roman turned at my laugh, and the raw desire on his face made my body feel heavy, my throat dry.
“Did you bring any water?” I asked, feeling a little faint.
He popped up from his chair, holding a hand out for me. “I didn’t bring any, but there’s a lake house near here. It’s stocked. We can ride there for refreshments.”
“That sounds wonderful. And another nice surprise.” I took his hand, and tried to hold in the gasp when his skin against mine made an electric arrow shoot straight to my core.
“The bungalow just beyond the bluff is always fully ready for a stay and is meant for couples. My sister had it built so she and her husband could get away from her children occasionally, but they hardly ever get to use it.”
I struggled to get up out of the chair, and in one move, he scooped me up and carried me bridal style to the side-by-side, then drove us to the bungalow.
My heart melted in my chest. He was such a hero underneath the strict businessman, and it felt so nice to be taken care of for once. It made me want to abandon my tough girl attitude for a little while and just enjoy this. But I couldn’t let it last.
“Does your leg always hurt?” he asked, looking concerned.
“I’m fine. I’m just a little sore from my escape through the woods last night.” And all the stairs at the country-mile-wide mansion, and the fact that my pain medication I rarely used was back at Jewel. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him all this and sound ungrateful. “The bones were shattered, there are a lot of pins and wires holding it together. I need a few more operations, but it works well enough. Having the brace helps.”
He carried me through the bungalow doors, and as with everything else, the place was gorgeous. There was a large L-shaped couch that blended with the cabin decor, a full-sized sleek kitchen and long banquet table in a screened porch off the living room. But my attention was drawn to a set of gauzy drapes, behind which was a king-sized bed surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows. You could lay in the bed and have a full view of the woods.
He put me down on my feet, and I ran my hand over the silky partition, gazing out at the green.
“It’s two-way glass. You can see out, but no one can see in. Have a seat, I’ll grab a couple waters.”
I did as he said and sat down on the couch so my eyes would stop going to the bed.
“Do you ever come out here and sleep?” I asked, thinking it would be nice to fall asleep looking out at the trees.
“I designed it just for that, but honestly, I’ve never d
one it.”
“I think this is where I’d live if given a choice.” I got up off the couch to walk around the place, too antsy to sit still.
He went to the kitchen again where he popped open a beer. “You want one?” he asked, raising his bottle.
“No, just water is fine for now.” I wanted a beer but needed a clear mind for what I was about to ask from him.
He followed me out on the deck, and we sat in the cushioned chairs and watched the lake for a while. I tried to gather my thoughts, but my attraction to him was distracting. He was physically perfect and such an interesting man. It’d been so long since I’d loved anyone, I wasn’t even sure how to do it, but the Roman of my dreams kept coming back to me.
Don’t ever forget this, the dream Roman had said. And I didn’t want to. In fact, I wanted to see if we would be anything like the us in my dream.
But I needed something else first.
“Tell me what you saw that night from the VIP lounge.”
His head whipped in my direction. “Adara—”
“Please.” I turned to him, pleading with him with my eyes. I had to know, needed to know if I was ever going to be able to put it behind me and move on. “You said you would do whatever I needed. I need this, the memory of it.”
Roman paused and gazed out at the lake, so I did too. When he started talking, it was like I was back there on that stage, the wind whipping into the lights above, the crowd chanting our names.
To the sound of Roman’s voice, it all came tumbling back, as if his words had opened a dam.
The way the wind changed in a heartbeat from gusty to tempest.
The sound of metal screeching overhead.
I felt the warmth of Nate’s strong body hit me as he wrapped his arms around me, and we tumbled to the stage floor together.
“I love you,” I had shouted through the roar, and I thought he said it back to me. When I looked up, the lighting truss was coming down on us in a twist of metal.
Pain.
Screaming.
Everything being cut off by merciful blackness.
“When I opened my eyes again, all I knew was pain and horror. I could hardly breathe from the pressure of Nate on top of me, and the mangled piece of metal on top of him. When we were finally freed, I was rushed into surgery for my face and leg.”