by Juliet Woods
“Masie, this is Lily,” I break the silence. “Lily, meet my daughter, Masie.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Masie,” Lily says, bending down to shake her hand.
Masie reluctantly holds out her hand, looking at Lily suspiciously.
“Did you have a nice sleepover with your friend?” Lily asks.
Masie nods, then looks up at me. “Daddy, can I go to my room?”
“Well, I think it’d be nice if you would stick around and chat with us,” I say, kneeling down to look her in the eye. But I can tell she’s not in the mood. “But I understand if you want to be alone now. It’s OK if I stop by in a little while to talk to you?”
She nods, still pouting, then climbs the stairs and retreats to her room.
I motion for Lily to follow me into the kitchen.
“She hates me,” she says, slumping against the kitchen counter.
“No, she hates me right now. She doesn’t know you yet,” I say. “This is really hard for her – a major change without any warning. It’s hard for all of us, but she doesn’t understand why it’s even happening.”
“You didn’t tell her about the custody hearing?”
“I thought about it, but that would be too upsetting for her. I don’t want her to know there’s any chance she could be uprooted from her home,” I sigh. “I suppose I may have to tell her about Vivian at some point, but for now I don’t want to give her reason to worry about leaving me.”
Lily nods her head sadly.
“I’d rather her to be mad at me than to worry about losing me.”
She looks down, grief etched in her forehead. “I understand. It’s the worst thing a child can go through.”
I study her face and see a tear fall from her eye, beginning its descent down her cheek. I’m struck by her beauty, her innocence. And the pain underneath it all – I see that, too.
Without thinking, I pull her into me abruptly, forcefully, enveloping her as if I could blot out her pain and sadness with my arms. I suddenly need to feel her pressed against me.
She lets herself be engulfed by me, nuzzling her head into my chest. My hands move over her back, her shoulders, and I lift her face to look at me. I brush her cheek with my thumb as she looks deep into my eyes. Then I hold the back of her head, pulling her closer, and my mouth finds hers, hungrily and feverishly.
I capture her upper lip between mine, licking and tasting her. Then her full lips part, and I breathe in her hot, sweet breath. Our lips meet, and she allows my tongue to glide into her mouth, exploring and tasting her. She moves her hands to the back of my head and neck, pressing me into her. I move my mouth down her neck, tasting her hot flesh, and she gasps for air, digging her fingers into my hair.
Suddenly, I feel her muscles tense in my hands as she pulls away. Doesn’t she want this?
I look at her face, her eyes wide, and she holds her finger to her mouth: Shhhh. I listen as Masie’s door opens upstairs and the pitter-patter of her little feet echo through the hallway.
We hurry to straighten up our hair and clothes, trying to catch our breath. I pull away and open the refrigerator to occupy myself with something, and in hopes that the arctic air will help me to cool off. I can’t help the smile of relief – Lily only pushed away because she didn’t want to be caught.
The pitter-patter stops with Masie’s arrival in the kitchen.
“Can I have some juice, Daddy?” she asks, careful not to look at Lily. I see the look of hurt and anger on my daughter’s face, and it stings.
“Sure!” I answer a bit too enthusiastically, producing the juice from the fridge almost instantaneously.
“What are you two doing in here?”
“Just planning dinner,” I answer. “You hungry for anything in particular?”
“We just ate lunch, Daddy,” she says skeptically, taking the glass of apple juice.
As she gulps it down, something from the living room catches her eye. “What’s that?” she asks, pointing. “Did you get a house plant, Daddy?”
“Those are Lily’s house plants. We brought them over from her apartment. She’s quite the gardener, isn’t she?”
The doubt and hurt fade from Masie’s face as she walks, stunned, into our living room, which has been transformed into a sort of upscale greenhouse.
“Wow!” she exclaims, her eyes wide. “It’s so pretty! And there’s so many of them! What’s this one?” She points to a big plant by the sofa.
“That’s a fig tree,” Lily explains, cautiously kneeling beside Masie.
“Cool! We have a tree in our living room! I have to tell Alexandra about that.”
Lily looks up at me, her face lighting up.
“And are those cactuses?” Masie asks, pointing to the shelf near the windows.
“Cacti,” I correct.
“Yes, these are cacti,” says Lily gently. “Be very careful not to touch them, OK? They have very sharp spikes that can hurt you. These plants are from the desert. They love the sun.”
“What about those?” she asks, pointing at the hanging plants. “Where are they from?”
“Those are ferns and ivies,” Lily says, patiently. “They’re from the forest, and they need lots of water.”
“Like the jungle?”
Lily nods.
“Ooh, can I use these in my play? I need the aliens to land in the jungle,” Masie chatters happily.
Lily throws me a questioning look from her place at Masie’s side.
“Masie’s a playwright,” I explain. “She’s writing a science-fiction script about aliens landing on Earth.”
“Oh, I see! Well, of course I’d be happy to supply the plants you need, Masie,” Lily says.
“Awesome! Wow, look at those flowers! Pink and purple are my favorite colors.”
As Masie looks over some orchids, I catch Lily’s eye. I give her the thumbs up sign, and she grins back.
“Did you grow all these yourself? We planted some seeds at school, and Adam says they’re going to grow into Christmas trees but I don’t believe him...”
I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear my daughter chatter contentedly away to Lily. I knew Masie would open up to her if she gave her the chance.
“Well, I’ll leave you two ladies alone to talk shop --”
But I’m interrupted by Masie’s squeal when she discovers the pineapple plant.
“OMG! It’s so cute! Wait till Alexandra sees this!”
Chapter 15
Lily
Ethan leaves Masie and me alone, but she doesn’t notice him leave the room – she’s too enthralled with the tiny pineapple and the display of colorful flowers. She takes it all in, marveling at all the bright display, teeming with life. It reminds me of the fascination I had as a little girl for my mom’s garden.
Then I catch her staring at me, apparently examining the new person living in her home.
“How did you meet my dad?”
I take a deep breath. I’m worried she’ll ask me some questions I’m not sure how to answer.
“We met when I was working at a flower shop,” I say.
Her eyes go wide as she seems to realize something: “You’re the one who made those flowers for me, aren’t you?”
I beam. “The jasmine, rose and peony bouquet? Yes, that was me! Did you like it?”
“Yeah, I love jasmine. It made my room smell really good.” She smiles up at me. “You’re pretty good with plants and flowers, huh?”
I nod. “Yeah, it’s what I love to do.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re beautiful. And they’re these little life forms that you care for, but they can’t talk back to you, or make you mad, or hurt your feelings.”
She nods. “Yeah, like a pet. I want a cat, but Daddy’s allergic.”
“Is there something you love to do?”
“Yeah, I like to write plays. And act. I can’t decide which I like better. Last summer I was in a theater camp and we did The Wizard of Oz. I played the wizard.
At first I wanted to be Dorothy, but the costume was much cooler for the wizard, and I got to use this awesome equipment that changed my voice...”
I breathe a sigh of relief as Masie chatters on about her theater experience. I’d much rather listen to her talk excitedly than explain the details of my relationship with her dad. Especially since I’m far from understanding it myself. Plus, I think she’s starting to really warm up to me.
“Are you really married to my dad?” she asks abruptly, not looking at me, as her fingers flutter over a fern.
“Yes, we’re really married,” I say slowly, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. “I hope that you’ll be OK with me living here.”
“Well, at first I didn’t like it. But I think you’re pretty cool. And besides, I think Daddy gets lonely.”
I smile, happy that Masie is starting to come around and accept me.
And deep inside, I know I’d like to personally make sure her dad is never lonely again.
Later, the three of us go for a walk through the neighborhood. Ethan walks in the middle with Masie and me at his sides. He holds both our hands, and I can’t help feeling my heart soar. Masie has forgotten her earlier feelings of hurt and anger, though she still seems shy around me. I hope that’s something that will change with time.
As the three of us window shop, talk, and laugh, I really feel like I have a family. Though I know it’s just pretend.
But what about the kiss this afternoon? That was most definitely real. It was so intense, so passionate, I feel light-headed just thinking about it. I know he wanted me. Maybe he just wants sex though, and not a real relationship.
The thing is, I’m beginning to think that I want him so bad, I’d be OK with that kind of arrangement – pretend wife with benefits, but nothing more. How could I refuse jumping into bed with this man? I’m hopelessly turned on by him, and I’d say yes to anything he wants.
Even if he only wants to use my body for his pleasure, I couldn’t say no.
“You should see this place, Callie,” I speak into the phone in hushed tones. I’m in my room back at Ethan’s place with the door shut, but I still don’t want anyone to hear me gush like a schoolgirl about the luxurious home. “Everything’s so perfect, so comfortable. I had no idea people even lived like this.”
“I’ve gotta get over there to check it out,” Callie says. “I could use a break from Queens, believe me. Mark’s apartment is decent enough, but it would be nice to not listen to my upstairs neighbors argue all day. Or my downstairs neighbor practice his drums all night.”
I laugh. “Yeah, I want you to come visit me and see all this for yourself. The rug I’m standing on is probably worth more than a year’s worth of rent at my old place.”
“And all you have to do is pretend to be his wife?”
“Well, I guess I am his real wife now that we signed the papers,” I say.
“That’s insane, Lily. I can’t believe you’re actually married. And to someone you literally just met.”
“I know, it doesn’t even feel real.”
“And you’re getting such a good deal. You get to live in a freaking mansion.”
“A penthouse,” I giggle. “But yeah, I’ll have to make appearances as his wife. Pretend to be hopelessly in-love newlyweds.”
“Shouldn’t be too hard, if he looks as good as what you’ve described. I don’t know how you haven’t jumped into bed with him yet.”
My cheeks turn red, thinking of our kiss. “I guess I’m still nervous about that.”
“An older guy like that, he probably knows all about how to please a woman. You’re totally lucky. I had to teach Mark everything. He had no clue how to go down on me. Now I’ve got him trained well. I mean, he could win a contest at it or something. He makes me come so hard I get cross-eyed.”
I make a face as I hold the phone. “Gross, Callie, I don’t want to hear the details --”
“Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had to learn a lot about blow jobs. Mark is so big that I had to practice a lot. Now I know how to take it all in without gagging.”
“Now I’m about to gag,” I say. “I don’t want to hear about Mark’s penis.”
“Oh, sweet, innocent Lily,” she says with a snicker. “One day soon you’ll be telling me all about Ethan’s cock. I bet you anything.”
I sigh. “I just hope – if Ethan and I have sex at all – I just hope I don’t disappoint him.”
Callie groans. “Are you serious, Lily? You’re every guy’s dream! You’ve got tits and an ass to die for, and you’re untouched. Men all want to be the first to pop that cherry. It’s some kind of primal thing about claiming a woman as his. It’s all very barbaric, and super sexy. Trust me, you’re not going to disappoint this guy.”
I feel a little twinge of excitement to hear those words – that I’m desirable, that Ethan would want to have sex with me.
“You think so? I’m not going to look like a big, awkward dork?”
“No, you’ll be fine. I promise.”
I’m startled by a knock on my door and Ethan’s voice: “Lily, can I come in?”
“Sure,” I say, and in walks Ethan followed by five people carrying what appear to be armloads of clothes on hangers and in garment bags.
“Uh, Callie, I need to let you go,” I say into the phone. “I think I just got a whole new wardrobe.”
“Oh my God! You’re so lucky! Call me back!”
I say goodbye, hang up the phone, and raise an eyebrow at Ethan, who’s supervising his fleet of assistants to arrange the clothes in the closet.
“Lily, I thought you might appreciate some new clothes,” he says as he watches them unpack and hang up dozens of pieces. “It’s not a full wardrobe, but it’s enough to get you started, and then we can get some other things.”
My jaw drops to see what is now being arranged in my closet: beautiful dresses, designer tops and jeans, jackets, sleek pants and skirts, and so many shoes!
“What do you think?” Ethan asks.
My mouth moves like a fish underwater as I try to formulate words.
“They’re beautiful! B - but how did you even know my size?”
He winks. “Not too hard to figure out. These will fit you, right?”
I step into the closet as the assistants leave the closet and my room, and Ethan hands them all what I’m guessing is a generous tip. “Yeah, these should all fit. You did a good job.”
“I didn’t want to be presumptuous, Lily, but I knew you might need some clothes. You’re going to have to look like the wife of a wealthy businessman, after all.”
I nod, looking at all the beautiful things in my closet. It’s all pretty form-fitting, nothing like my usual style. No more baggy clothes for me, I guess.
“I’m not used to dressing like this,” I say.
“You don’t like it?” he frowns.
“No, no, I love it! I do! I’ll just have to get used to it. I’ll have to get used to a lot of new things.”
“I know you’ll do fine,” he says flippantly. “That’s why I picked you for the job.”
I wish I had as much confidence in myself as you do, I think.
“And that’s why I know you’ll be fine at a big charity event next weekend,” he smiles deviously.
“A ch-charity event?” My palms start to sweat.
“Yeah, I need to make an appearance with my doting wife,” he says casually. “I go to this every year. It’s a charity dinner for cancer research.”
I start to breathe fast, and I feel my pulse quicken uncomfortably. I guess he can see the panic coming over me, because he says, “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll be right beside you the whole time.”
I nod, but I’m far from reassured.
“That’s what this black gown is for,” he points to a floor-length dress with one shoulder, a stunningly beautiful formal gown.
“Wow,” I breathe. “I’ve never even seen a dress like this before.”
I run my finger along the silky fabric. This d
oesn’t look itchy like the hand-me-down turquoise dress from Callie.
“I hope your assistants bought me a strapless bra,” I mutter under my breath.
“You could go braless,” he says. “Isn’t that the new trend?”
I blush, unable to answer.
“I think this dress will really suit you,” he says, sweeping his eyes over my body.
“I’m sure the dress will be fine, but I’m pretty freaked out about this dinner,” I say, frowning.
“I forgot to mention it’s more than a dinner,” he says. “There will be dancing too.”
I groan. “Do you like to torture me?”
“Only when you’re a bad girl.”
He takes a step toward me, standing mere inches away. His breath is hot and intense on my forehead. I wait for him to touch me, my skin aching to feel his hands on me.
“When you’re good, you get rewarded.”
His eyes flash over my shoulders, and I brace myself for his mouth meeting mine again.
Instead, he turns away. “You better get to sleep. You need to work on your dance steps again before the event. I’ve hired a dance teacher to come here to teach you every day this week.”
“But I have to work!” I protest.
Ethan smirks. “I won’t have my wife working as an assistant. You’re done with all that, Lily. You’re Mrs. Davidson, wife of a billionaire executive, now.”
And just like that, he walks out of the room, leaving me standing there with my mouth open.
Chapter 16
Ethan
The next day, the dance instructor arrives promptly at 9 am to begin the lessons. I need Lily to get more comfortable with her dance moves. She doesn’t have to be a master at ballroom dancing, but she at least needs to get the hang of the posture and footwork.
They’re still hard at work when I get home with Masie that afternoon. The two of us hang out in her play room.
Not surprisingly, Masie seems to have forgotten her previous anger at me. After we practice her spelling bee words, she moves to her dollhouse. She grabs a doll that looks like Lily: blue eyes and long, brown hair. Masie begins to comb and braid her hair to the side like Lily often wears it.