I mumble "sure," then lower my head to my knees while they exit the lodge. Colt slides his hand over my back, gently rubbing up and down. "It may take awhile, but everything is going to be okay. You'll get through this."
I shake my head and whisper, "I feel broken."
He moves his hand to mine and grips it tightly. "Then we'll put you back together. Let me be the first piece. I promise it will be solid and immoveable. And with time, we'll find the other pieces until you discover the fire that I know still burns inside you."
"What do I do in the meantime? I don't want to feel like this."
"You have two choices. One, you can take a much-needed rest. Return to Eden, return to New York, wherever you want. I'll even go with you, if you like."
"What's the other option?"
"Fake it."
"What do you mean?"
"Have you heard the old phrase 'fake it til you make it'?"
I shake my head.
He shifts his position so he's kneeling right in front of me, his gaze burning into mine. "It means go through the motions. Do what you've always done, act the way you used to. Let your body remember your father's training, run through those scenarios, be that person that was fearless, kind, and compassionate. Inspire. Motivate. Serve. Remind us why we are doing all of this." His eyes circle the room.
"How do you know it will—"
"Because that’s how I've been living my life for the last six months, ever since I learned it from you. But I'm not faking it anymore. It's become a way of life for me, thanks to you."
My chest expands with a great breath, and I exhale. I don't know what to think. Just like my emotions, my thoughts are scattered too. Fake it til I make it. I say the words in my mind over and over. What would the old me do? The answer is immediate. She wouldn't be sitting on the floor. She would be figuring out how to get her mother and the other Originals out of Enfield. And she wouldn't waste a second of her time doing anything else.
I lift my eyes to meet his. "What can I do to help?"
He stands, taking me with him, but he doesn't let go of my hands. "I need to know about Enfield, every little detail you can remember. Link needs to memorize as much as he can before he goes in. He already knows the general layout of the compound, but we aren't sure about the inside of each building and what their functions are."
"I can give you that, but it's not necessary. Link doesn't need to go anymore. I'm going to do it."
He shakes his head vehemently. "There's no way. Not after what you just went through. Besides, like I already said, we voted. Link's going."
I let go of his hands. "But you just told me to fake it til I make it. This is me faking it."
"There are lots of other ways you can do this, but you can't put yourself back into immediate danger. Link will do a great job. He's highly skilled."
I stare at him for a few seconds until I realize I'm not going to win this one. "Fine. Get me something to write everything down with."
His shoulders drop like he's relieved. He was probably expecting me to put up a much bigger fight. "I'll be right back, and I'll snag Link too, if he survived being with Jenna."
He turns to leave, but I stop him. The old me wouldn't have let him go so easily. I reach up and press my palms on each side of his face before I pull him in for a kiss. He doesn't resist and lowers his lips until they press into mine. His mouth is warm and moves tenderly across my skin, kissing a little bit of the hurt away. He ends it much too soon.
"I could get used to this." He grins and gives me a quick kiss again. "I'll hurry."
I keep the smile on my face until he's gone, then it disappears. The kiss was wonderful, Colt is wonderful, but the hole is still there. Fake it til you make it.
I turn around and scan the room. On the other side, near the projector Colt used earlier, are some items. Probably things he was showing to the group. I walk over to them and pick up the one that looks like a gun, but it's missing a trigger. Instead there's a button on top. I lower it and move on to the next one. It's black material. I shake out the folds, revealing a one piece uniform. A patch on the side reads IHRD.
The next item makes me freeze. It's small and round and looks very similar to the communication device Max gave to me. I wonder if it does the same thing. I set it back down, making a mental note to speak to Colt about it later.
The flat electronic screen he had been using earlier is still there. I press a button at the top, and large images fill the space in front of me. It's similar to the image of Enfield I saw earlier, but this time it appears to be live feed, as if there is a camera directly above the compound. There are several people walking around holding the same gun-like weapon next to me and wearing the same black uniforms. They must be guards.
From the outside, the compound doesn't look too bad. It's clean with small, well-trimmed trees lining the roads. There are even a couple of playgrounds, but not a single child plays on them, despite it being sunny. At the rear of the property, there are rows of small houses. They might've been nice once, but now several are in disrepair with porches shattered and roofs collapsed. A few even looked partially burned. What happened?
"Does it match with what you know of Enfield?"
I look up. Colt is walking toward me with Link trailing behind.
"There are a couple of newer buildings here and here." I point at two tall structures standing next to each other. "Where are all the Originals?"
Link nods toward where I just pointed. "In there."
"From all the footage we've gathered," Colt says as he circles the image, "we've been able to determine that they are let out daily in small groups every hour. Guards let them walk around for about ten minutes and then they have to go back."
"Have you been able to determine how many Originals there are?" I ask, thinking of my mother.
Colt rubs the back of his neck. "It's difficult to tell this high up in the air, but we guess at least a hundred and maybe as many as two hundred."
"How many used to live there?" Link asks.
"Fifteen years ago, the Institute claimed to house over a thousand, but we have no way to substantiate their claim."
My heart sinks. If that's true then there is a good chance my mother isn't alive, despite what Ebony had hinted at back at the Institute. She was probably lying anyway. I clench my jaw. I can't think about that right now. I won't.
"What of other compounds like Enfield?" I ask. "Do you know where they are?"
While Colt types something into the flat screen, he says, "We think there are three others, but we're hoping that when we get into Enfield, we will have access to all of that information."
Lines appear next to every building.
"Sage, can you fill in these blank spaces with the name of each building for Link?" he asks.
"Sure."
He taps a few more times. "When you get done, could you also draw the inside layout of each one on paper? You can then scan the image into here and it will project it outward. Hopefully, it will help Link memorize them better."
I glance at Link. He's staring at the large projection intently as if trying to memorize it as we speak.
"This is a lot to remember in such a short amount of time," I say.
Link's head snaps in my direction. "I can do this."
He says the words, but I hear the hesitation in his voice. We're asking too much of him.
I turn to Colt. "You're making a mistake. He's not ready."
"I will be," Link insists. "I just need two days."
"He'll be okay, Sage," Colt says. "We’ll be in contact with him every step of the way."
"How?" I ask.
He reaches down and picks up the small circular device. "Look familiar?"
"It looks like the thing Max made for me."
He smiles. "We copied his technology, only made it better."
"But it's in Morse code. Are you saying Link has to memorize that too?"
Link speaks quickly. "I've already been working on it and have a lot of them memori
zed."
I shake my head. This isn't right. "What if I insist that I go?"
"It won't matter," Colt says.
"You can't talk me out of this," Link adds.
I fold my arms to my chest. I'm mad, at least I think I'm mad. There's a match inside me threatening to ignite. I feel it tickling my skin, like an itch I know I should scratch.
The door to the lodge flies open.
"You better come quick," Jenna says. "A couple of Planks are about to kill each other."
Colt looks at each of us. "You two got this?"
We both nod. Colt jogs through the room and out the door, taking Jenna with him.
I turn to Link, but before I can speak, he says, shaking his head, "Don't even ask. You're not going."
"I wasn't going to," I say, but even I can hear the hint of doubt in my voice. "Let's just get this over with."
I pick up the pad and light up the screen with the touch of my finger. It takes me a few minutes to understand how it works, but then it's a breeze. In no time at all, I have all the buildings labeled. While Link works on memorizing their location, I begin to draw the layout of each one.
"So this uniform," I say, not looking up from my paper. "How did they make it?"
Link doesn't respond. He's too busy staring at the projected image hovering feet above the floor.
"Link?" I ask again.
His head lifts. "Huh? Did you say something?"
"I was asking about the uniform. How did they make it?"
"Some machine they had brought in a few days ago. They're not sure if it's the same material as Enfield's guards, but close enough. Mine, however, is made a little thicker so I won't feel getting shot by the dart sensors as much."
My eyebrows lift. That's pretty smart. "How many did they make?"
"A lot of the normal ones, but just one of the special suits. As soon as I get the electrical shield down, a bunch of Primes are going in wearing them. It's supposed to cause confusion among the guards and hopefully reduce casualties." He returns his focus back to the projection.
I'm impressed by how much thought has gone into taking over Enfield. Colt has taken every measure possible to protect his people. I'm going to do the same.
After all my drawings are complete, I locate the scan function on the pad and press a button. A light shines from the pad's center and blankets the paper. I do this with all of the papers in my small stack.
"That's a lot to memorize," Link says. He lowers into a chair, his face pale.
"It sure is." I let out a low whistle. "You've got a lot of work ahead of you."
"Don't do that, Sage. I may not have your great memory, but I will do this. Somehow I'll figure it out."
"I'm sure you will," I say. I reach forward and touch the nearest projected building. Suddenly the image transforms, lighting up a crudely made blueprint of the inside.
"I know I'm in over my head," he says, his voice low. "I saw what they did to you, and I don't think I can survive the same thing. Truth is, I'm terrified. Sometimes I wish I was back on the island, completely bored. So many people are depending upon me out here."
I place the pad back down and walk over to him. Lowering into a chair next to him, I say, "You don't have to do this alone. We could go together."
"How can you even say that? After everything they did to you?"
I think about this for a long time. His steady breathing is a soothing sound to my racing pulse. "I'd love nothing more than to crawl into a bed somewhere and stay there for a century, but then what happens to the people I care about? To my mother? It needs to be me who saves her. I keep saying that, but no one believes me."
"I get it," Link says, "but you're still not going. As scared as I am, I would never put you at risk again. And I promise, I'll help your mother."
I purse my lips and nod my head. I really thought I'd be able to convince him.
"You're going to do great," I say and stand. "Let me know if you need any help."
I leave the room so he can prepare without distractions. Nobody wants me to go. I get it, I do, but Colt told me to fake it til I make it. Surely he knows what the old me would do.
29
Link zips up his uniform. He slides a matching black cap over his head. "How do I look?"
"Damn good," Jenna says.
Anthony sighs.
"Like you're one of them, Link," Colt adds quickly, casting Jenna a dangerous look.
They’re all standing in a circle, making adjustments to Link's suit. I'm sitting in a chair not far away. I contemplate going back to my room, the same one I'd woken up in a few days ago, but decide against it. They might say something I need to know.
"It's late," Tank says to me, lowering the magazine in his hands. He's sitting near me, seemingly bored by everything that's going on. "Why don't you go to bed? It's been a long day."
He’s talking as if I've been super busy this whole time. That couldn't be further from the truth. Every time I asked someone if I could help, they always shot me down and told me to go rest.
It didn't help that Colt was always hovering over me to make sure I had everything I needed. He even kept offering me extra portions of food or other special privileges that no one else was given. I didn't like it as it made me appear weak. I intended to tell him as much just as soon as we had a second alone.
"In a minute," I say. "I want to say goodbye to Link."
Tank stares at me for a moment before he stands. "How much longer?"
Colt checks the pad on his wrist. "The truck leaves in twenty minutes. Do you have everything?"
Link picks up a small backpack and peers inside. "Com device, security card, Taser, check." He glances over at me, wearing vibrant blue contacts, and winks. "This is going to be fun."
"Don't forget to toss the bag if you get into trouble," Anthony tells him. "We don't want you getting caught with it."
Link zips it up. "Got it."
I stand and throw my arms around him, because that's what the old me would do. I notice, however, that it doesn't feel so forced this time.
"Please be careful," I say, squeezing him tight. "I want you back in one piece."
"Geez, Patch!" Jenna snorts. "Give him some space. He's going to think you're desperate or something."
I let go of Link and look at Jenna. "Maybe you need to see how it's done."
"I know how to hug," she says.
"Then do it," I challenge.
Link joins in, smiling big. "Yeah. I dare you to hug me goodbye. It will give me luck."
"It will give you a lot more than luck," she says, her eyes flashing below his belt.
Link's face reddens.
Tank laughs, and even Anthony chuckles low.
Colt moans. "Don't freak the kid out right before he leaves! He'll probably run away now. Good job."
"I'm fine. It's fine," Link says quickly.
"If you get the chance," I say, "will you check on my mother?"
The room grows quiet. Just like me, they realize the chances of my mother being alive are slim.
"Of course," he answers.
"Good luck then," I say and take a step backwards.
Colt walks over to me. "I'll see you to your room."
I nod and lead the way. He walks closely behind me. The strength of his presence can be as hot as the sun on a summer day, or as strong as tropical storm, depending upon his mood. Tonight he is warm.
I walk into my room and turn around. Colt follows me in and closes the door behind him.
"I appreciate you not fighting me on this," he says. "It means so much to me."
My gaze shifts to just above his shoulder. "No problem."
His hand reaches for mine, and he pulls me to him. I let his arms envelop me. At first I feel nothing, but after a few seconds there's a warmth that makes the blackness inside me seem not so black. Maybe more of a dark gray. I sigh and relax into him.
After a full minute, he leans back and slides his hands up to my face. He stares intensely into my eyes,
a look that seems to go right through me.
"I'm glad you're here. I thought having you around would make me weak—"
I pull my brows together.
"—because I would be distracted by worrying about you, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Your courage makes me stronger. Your bravery inspires me. I am a better person with you around."
"Don't you ever forget it," I whisper and smile.
"Never." He lowers his head and presses his lips to mine. There's something desperate in the kiss, making me think that he knows.
He pulls away a moment later and takes hold of my hands. "Do you need anything?"
"I'm good. It will probably take me a while to fall asleep because I'm worried about Link. It should be me going."
"He will be just fine. Don't worry. But if for some reason you can't sleep, you can come be with me at the lodge where we’ll be monitoring him."
He gives me one more kiss before leaving me alone. I listen to their muffled voices behind the closed door, but after several minutes all is quiet. I glance at the clock. Link will be leaving in just a few minutes.
I open the door cautiously and peer into the hall. The lights at the end are turned off. I move further into the cabin, mindful of where I step. No one else shares the cabin with me, but I wouldn't be surprised if Colt asked Jenna or Anthony to stay over. After a quick search, I discover that I really am alone…inside, at least, but just outside the front door, two Primes sit on chairs in the darkness. One of them is reading a book with its pages lit up, while the other appears to be asleep.
Colt thinks I'm going to try and leave. And he's right.
I tiptoe back into my room and reach under my bed for the bag I packed earlier. Sneaking out is going to be a lot harder than I expected. I examine the window in my room for the second time, but just like before, I won't be able to escape from it without breaking the glass, which will draw a lot of unwanted attention. The stupid thing opens a mere three inches.
I leave my room and creep up the stairs to the loft. There's a window up there that slides open, unlike the one in my room.
It takes a few minutes to push the glass up the window frame as it keeps groaning from the force. It probably hasn't been opened in decades. When I feel confident the Primes haven't heard me, I fling the pack over my shoulder and climb out the window and into the cool night.
Escape from Eden (Original Series book 2) Page 19