More than a few of the gathered wolves eyed Jez uncertainly. Her long tail slapped the ground beside her, moving like a snake. I went to her side, making it clear to anyone wondering that she was there with me. Shaz slunk along slowly behind me, his eyes already locked on the shaggy brown wolf next to Ky.
Before either of them could move, I placed myself in the center of the clearing, drawing all eyes to me. It would be up to me to give the signal for Shaz and Julian to go at it like the testosterone-charged animals that they were. However, before I did so, I had every intention of making them both submit to me. I was Alpha and if I demanded it, they would have little choice.
I fixed my eyes on Shaz first, communicating easily without words. He blinked a few times as if disbelieving what he read in my gaze. I inclined my head and pawed lightly at the ground before me. Slowly, he came towards me, careful not to look at anyone else. The energy of every other Were there seemed to hum as they watched with collective interest.
As Shaz drew closer, he dropped lower to the ground so that his belly almost touched the fertile forest floor. Our connection grew in strength as we stared into one another and my personal power rose up. Desire filled me when he rolled over at my feet, baring his throat to me in absolute submission.
This was love. It really was. How many men would be willing to say with actions everything that this said?
I bent my head as if to gently bite his throat but instead, I licked long warm lines across his snowy white face. I wanted to nuzzle him but drew back before the others could see the tenderness. He scrambled to his feet and backed away. His eyes followed mine to Julian.
The sandy-brown wolf glanced at Kylarai, unease plain on his features. She continued to look straight ahead, at me. He was left to make his own choice. Ever so slowly, he made his way to me. He seemed to drag his back feet as if wishing he could drop into a hole in the ground. This must be killing him. If I could have smirked with glee in his face, I would have.
When he dropped down on his belly, satisfaction slid through me with a cold and slimy sensation. My wolf instantly identified him as lesser, insignificant. He glared up at me with hate shining in his dark eyes. I had never forced anyone to submit to me. We were people first, after all. Raoul had though. And, looking down at the whelp of a wolf at my feet, I understood what he got out of it.
I waited, staring Julian down until at last he gave in and rolled to expose his throat to me. I could feel every set of eyes on me, waiting to see what I would do. I believe a few of them expected me to tear his throat out, eliminating the need for a fight. Everything that was vampire within me cried out for his intoxicating blood, but I would never do that to Shaz. This fight was his.
Julian’s scent filled my nostrils when I bent to his bared throat. Ever so gently, with all of the control I had within me, I placed fangs lightly to his skin. I never so much as grazed his flesh though everything in me demanded that I unleash the tightly bound wolf inside.
I drew back, stepping away from him to clear my head of his scent. He got to his feet in a motion so fast that I braced, my defenses on autopilot. He never made the mistake of coming any closer. He turned then, facing Shaz who stood just ten feet away.
I launched into action, moving between them. This wasn’t starting until I was damn sure that Shaz was ready for him. I looked between the two of them, my question apparent. When a low growl began in Shaz’s throat and was quickly echoed by Julian, I knew it was on.
Reluctantly, I backed away. I looked at Shaz, hoping to meet his eyes, but he saw nothing but his foe. No sooner had I moved out of their space than they flashed into action. The sound of their furry bodies hitting was like concrete on concrete. I ground my teeth together as I watched them meet in a flurry of snapping jaws. Fear coursed through me, and I shook my head slowly.
Kylarai came to my side, her grey eyes mirroring the terror I felt. The two wolves snarled and growled, their angry sounds echoing throughout the clearing. The energy of every wolf watching seemed to ring in my ears. I could feel it well, but it didn’t have the same influence it would have had if I’d been in human form. The thought suddenly occurred to me that if I needed to tap metaphysical power to stop this fight, I would likely have to be in my other form.
Julian and Shaz moved so fast, it was hard to keep an eye on the details of what was happening. They lunged at one another, testing each other’s limits. They started with a lot of defensive movements followed by feinting and circling. I was dying from the suspense, wondering when they would really try for the kill.
Time seemed to stop when Shaz got a hold of the brown wolf’s shaggy neck fur. He bit deep, shaking his head as he did so. A strangled sound escaped Julian, but he twisted and struggled in Shaz’s grasp until he had squirmed free. He didn’t hesitate, lunging at Shaz in an attempt to throw him off balance. It worked.
Shaz went down with the brown wolf growling and snapping in his face. I saw Julian’s fangs sink deep into my wolf, felt it as if he’d bitten me. The blood instantly stained Shaz’s snow-white fur a deep red. It took all of my inner strength to resist surging forward. I needed to go to him.
But, Jez’s watchful gaze stopped me. She was paying more attention to me than to the wolf fight. I think she was planning to take me down if I tried to rush in there. It would be for my own good. I could get myself killed doing something so irrational.
I couldn’t breathe, watching them lash out with all they had. The blood flowed from each of them as the blows were exchanged. It was just as I was considering changing forms that I felt a cool presence in my mind. Arys.
‘Are you ok, my wolf? How is our pup doing?’ His voice was a soothing sensation as it echoed through my mind. This was something we could only do when I was in wolf form. It seemed to be our power’s way of compensating for the loss I suffered by changing forms.
‘This isn’t the best time, Arys. It’s getting bloody.’ I jumped when the two wolves managed to gain a secure hold on one another. They wrestled in the dirt and grass, each of them now bleeding profusely. I didn’t know what to do. I had to stop this, but the winner had to be obvious to everybody present.
Arys’s presence was there but quiet, as if he wasn’t sure what to offer me. If he’d been hoping to hear that Shaz was down and out, he was going to be disappointed.
‘That’s not fair,’ he chided. ‘I would never wish such a thing on him. I’m selfish, not petty.’
That was reassuring. And, most likely untrue. As I watched Julian sink fangs into Shaz yet again, this time in the meaty part of his shoulder, the vampire’s power rose, and I tried to tap it. My body seemed to shudder and a sharp pain stabbed through my abdomen. The wolf was as much a part of nature as the earth’s energy running strong beneath my paws. Yet, I couldn’t access both of them fully at once.
The agony became too much, and I fought to maintain control and keep my eyes on the fight before me. Kylarai bumped against my shoulder, a question in her eyes. I shook my head, backing away. I willed the change to come, and it was brutal. My wolf was confused and unwilling to give in to the human side of me. I was insistent though, and it was going to happen.
A cry broke out of me when I was gasping on my knees, digging my fingers into the dirt. I shivered at the sudden temperature change from fur to skin. The sound of my pain was something that Shaz could not ignore, and the moment he took to look my way gave Julian the advantage.
The large, brown wolf threw himself on Shaz, pinning my mate beneath him. He fought for Shaz’s throat, believing the end was within his grasp. My wolf was nothing, though, if not determined. He effectively angled his head so that his throat was hidden, twisting his body to throw Julian’s balance off. He was unable to maintain his hold, and Shaz grasped his sudden opportunity, throwing himself right in the brown wolf’s face.
Though Arys’s voice was now absent from my mind, the power we shared soared up inside me, forcing me to my feet. I was shaky and pained from the sudden shifting, but I was not going to let t
hem kill each other. A few of the wolves around me moved uncomfortably at my quick change.
Shaz was in Julian’s face with jaws snapping too fast to see. Julian was surprised by the move and fell back, losing his footing in his attempt to backpedal. It gave Shaz all he needed to get on top of the other wolf, successfully pinning him. Everyone seemed to be reacting to the urgency in the atmosphere. The anticipation of the end was heavy.
My hands grew hot as I tapped the roiling mixture of undead and living energy inside me. Shaz gained a clear shot of Julian’s throat, and he took it. Only Kylarai’s tiny whimper reminded me why I was willing to stop this. Shaz’s fangs sunk into Julian’s flesh; in the same moment, I let a blue-tinged gold psi ball fly.
It was enough to knock Shaz off his feet without hurting him. Before Julian could get up, I threw up an energy wall between them. When he didn’t get up, Kylarai rushed to his side. Shaz growled with a low rumble at the barrier that separated them.
Everything had happened so fast. My heart pounded louder than any other sound. It was over though. And, they were both alive. Angling my body so that most of my nakedness was shadowed, I went to them and knelt next to Ky.
The blood pumped steadily from the wound in Julian’s throat. However, it wasn’t a fatal puncture. He would live. And, I couldn’t help but wonder if that would be something both Shaz and I would regret allowing to happen.
I made eye contact with my beautiful white wolf. My heart broke in response to the many red splashes marring his fur. He looked both proud and relaxed. Confident that he wouldn’t try to finish Julian off now that he was down, I dropped the barrier.
Leaving Ky and Julian, I went to Shaz, kneeling before him. Though I was still in human form, I bared my throat to him anyway, acknowledging him as Alpha male. My breath sucked in as his sharp fangs tentatively touched my skin. His breath came hot against my flesh and a rush came over me when I longed for him break the skin.
Shaz’s touch was nothing less than gentle and loving when his teeth grazed me. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, my hands reaching to entangle in his filthy, matted fur. A swell of emotion erupted like hot lava coating my insides. My eyes filled with hot tears, but they did not fall. I wasn’t sad, yet a melancholy feeling enveloped me. I had only kneeled before one other man, claiming him as my Alpha. That man was dead. Was this nostalgia or something else entirely?
Slowly, I got to my feet. I was startled to find a line of werewolves behind me, each waiting their turn to show respect to their new Alpha. I watched them, one by one, as they kneeled and gave Shaz their throat. It caused my heart to swell with pride. He was so much more amazing than I even knew yet. Everything about him told me so.
Julian finally struggled to his feet, leaning his weight heavily against Kylarai. He was in pretty bad shape. When at last they were the only two left to acknowledge Shaz, Ky moved to do so and Julian hung back. He was unwilling, which meant he forfeited his place and protection within our pack.
The silky smooth leopard fur rubbing against my thigh drew my gaze to Jez. She had been such a quiet observer that I’d almost forgotten she was there.
“Thanks Jez,” I whispered for her ears only. “I appreciate that you came here tonight.” I said a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn’t had to tackle me as I feared. With Shaz’s control compromised, I’d worried for my own.
She made a noise low in her throat, something between a purr and a growl. With a chuckle, I added, “You so better not be checking out my ass.” She hissed at me then, her tail flipping around wildly. I knew it was only because she had no voice to blast a retort at me.
Finally, Shaz padded over to me, pushing his muzzle into my hand. I smiled down into his enchanting face, that strange sadness welling up again. He actually didn’t look too bad. Julian was in worse shape.
“I’m not feeling up to running tonight,” I told him, my voice low. “If you feel good enough, stay and run with our wolves. I just need some time alone.”
He studied me, confusion and worry written all over his dirt-stained face. I smiled and kissed the tip of his wet nose. With a sigh of relief, I allowed the wolf within to have her way, and I once again embraced the change. Shaz nuzzled me, rubbing his side along mine. We were the mated Alpha pair. It seemed so surreal to think of it that way.
When he was certain that I meant what I’d said, he glanced around the clearing. Shock shone in his eyes upon noticing that the other werewolves awaited his command to run. Giving me one last reassuring nudge, he loped out of the clearing with every other wolf close behind.
When even Jez had sauntered off into the night, I turned and headed back the way that would lead me home. Leaving Julian and Kylarai in the clearing didn’t feel at all right but staying would only wound his pride further. I trotted in between the tightly woven trees, listening to the voices of my pack, raised together in spine-chilling harmony as I went.
Chapter Twelve
The door creaked as I pushed it open. It had been repaired since the last time I’d been here. I’d broken it when I had kicked it open. That had been months ago. In some ways, it felt like years and, in other ways, like it was just yesterday.
Despite the fact that he’d been dead for three months, Raoul’s scent hit me as I stepped into his house. Closing the door behind me, I counted to five and then turned around. I honestly wasn’t sure what I’d see.
Everything looked completely normal, as if nothing had been out of place. The furniture was the same. Everything was the same. The wolf tapestry that had once hung over the fireplace was gone though. Zoey Roberts had destroyed it.
Closing the door, I slipped off my shoes and crossed the front room until the kitchen came into view. The breath was crushed from my lungs as I took in the sliding glass door that led onto the patio. Though the glass was brand new and the mess long since cleaned up, I could see it in my mind like I was reliving the night Raoul died.
For a moment, I couldn’t think or make sense of why I was there. Something had drawn me. If anything, I needed to be at Raoul’s. I had put off coming here since Zoe killed him. But, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was supposed to be here now, if only for my own sanity. I’d thought that leaving the forest would upset my wolf, but being here, in Raoul’s house where I’d once spent a portion of my life, I felt at home.
Since he had left the house to me in his will, knowing his death was imminent, I had kept it maintained. I’d also refused every offer from those interested in buying. I had no intention of giving it up. Did that make me crazy, nostalgic or just unable to let go?
I flicked on a few lights as I went, flooding the space around me with a warm glow. I came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the bedrooms. Shaking my head, I continued on to the kitchen. I hadn’t been upstairs since Zoey murdered one of Raoul’s lovers, a fellow pack member, and I didn’t feel inclined to go up there now. New carpet and paint wouldn’t wash away the negative energy left in that room.
Raoul’s small den was just off the kitchen. It was where we had shared our first and last truly intimate moment. The door stood open, but it was pitch black inside the windowless room. A hot tear streaked down my face, and I touched it to be sure it wasn’t a vampy blood tear.
Turning on the kitchen light, I squinted against the sudden illumination. A quick glance around the kitchen showed me that it looked as if nothing out of the ordinary had ever taken place there. The beam of light shone into the den, and I followed it, pausing in the doorway.
I looked toward the couch in the corner. I could barely see it from where I stood. Crossing the room, I turned on the lamp that sat on the corner of the desk, the same desk where Arys had found the confession letter Raoul had left me.
Against my better judgment, I pulled open the top desk drawer. It was filled with typical desk clutter like pens and post-it note pads. I closed it and went on to the next one. It had nothing but file folders for Raoul’s real estate business, which was nothing of extreme interest to me.
As I reached for the handle on the third drawer, something told me not to open it. Of course, that only made me want to get into it even more. Pulling it open harder than necessary, I was surprised to see that it was filled with photo albums. There were three of them. I couldn’t help but reach for the first one, the pages creaking uncomfortably as I opened it. Clearly, nobody had looked at it in awhile.
The first page held a very old photo, a young woman with smiling brown eyes and a head of hair to die for. The caption beneath it said, “Naomi”. I was astonished and began to scrutinize the picture closer. This was Zoey’s mother, the human woman Raoul had loved. One of two anyway.
Flipping through the pages revealed more photos, some of Raoul and Naomi together. In all the time I’d known him, I had never seen him look at these pictures. It must have hurt him too much.
Now that I knew about the two great loves of Raoul’s life, one of which was my own mother, I could better understand why he chose the bachelor lifestyle he had lived until his death. It didn’t make it any easier to accept though.
The entire photo album was photos of that time in Raoul’s life, before me. I put it back and reached for another one. Flipping open the cover, I was strangely surprised to see photos of Shaz and myself, among other wolves, from when Raoul had taken us in. It was strange to see a much younger version of me. Looking at the teenage version of both my white wolf and myself, I couldn’t help but think of everything that had changed since that time.
For one, my loss of innocence had gone from learning how to deal with the change to becoming more of a monster than I had ever dreamed possible. The uncertain smile on the face of the teenaged me spoke volumes, and I slammed the album shut. I didn’t bother opening the third one. I didn’t want to take this trip down memory lane.
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