by Nana Malone
“I thought I was a mess.”
“Yeah, well,” Eli muttered. He was the one lying to the woman he’d fallen in love with. “I should have trusted you more. I guess I always see us as sixteen, me trying to do anything to save your life, and you trying to do anything to destroy it. I can’t see sometimes that you don’t need me anymore.”
“Oh, shit, we're not going to do some emo-hugging shit, are we? 'Cause I gotta tell you, that would ruin your nice suit. And I happen to know that we have a very eager agent out there waiting to talk to us. Me. Whatever.”
Eli smirked. “I’ll hug you later.”
“Oh, good, then I at least will escape that humiliation. Seeing as I only shower about once a week, you'll have to try and find me at some point I’m not covered in paint or dealing with some crisis of the muse.”
“Maybe I’ll risk getting a little paint on me.”
Samson chuckled. “Apology accepted, big brother. Besides, it's not like I’ve made it easy on you. I do sort of have a past as a forger and a drug addict, and a liar, and a cheat, and a thief.”
Eli winced. “Easy, Sam.”
“Hey, it's part of recovery. We speak the truth. I have been all those things. I might lie occasionally to a woman or two, but I'm not that same guy now. You helped me change that. And if Jessica's bouncing is any indication, I won’t ever have to live hand-to-mouth again, thanks to your looking out for me. You pulled me out of the gutter, and I can’t ever say thank you enough for that.” He sniffed deep. “Shit, now you got me all emo and shit. Well, at least I have an excuse. I'm the artist. You’re the buttoned-up art authenticator.”
“Is this the part where you say, ‘I love you, man,’ sniffle, and slobber all over me, and cover my nice suit in paint and scent of woman?”
Sam grinned. “You know full well that I don't actually touch any of the models while we're painting.”
Eli couldn't help grinning back at his brother. “No one said anything about before the show, right?”
Sam grinned. “I have to do something to relax.”
Eli chuckled as he shook his head. “Oh, hey, one question, do you remember an art patron by the name of Michael Fenton? I met him the other night and he said he was a huge fan of your work in San Francisco.”
Sam frowned. “No. Never heard of him. Why?”
Eli shrugged. “No reason.”
Chapter 22
After leaving the hotel room, Eli made a quick call to Vince before heading to Jessica’s suite. Voicemail. Damn it. “Hey, Vince. I got a lead on the case. Drop me a line.” He didn’t really have a lead, but at least he could sort of point Vince in the right direction. Someone was trying to set up his brother. He didn’t know who, but at least they had a starting point. It had to be someone who knew about Samson’s past. And Michael Fenton was a good place to start.
It would have to be one of Sam’s old acquaintances. If they worked those leads, one of them would shake something useful loose. The way that crew had been going, there could only be a few of them out of jail anyway. They’d start there.
Stopping in front of Jessica’s door, Eli drew in a deep breath. This woman had him in knots. She was confusing as hell, a stick of dynamite in bed, and so sensitive sometimes it made him hurt. He had to tell her the truth. He couldn’t be jumping all over Samson if he wasn't willing to fess up himself. And truth be told, he liked being the artist in her eyes. It was her type. Chemistry or not, she wouldn’t have given him a second look if she’d been with “Eli.” She’d as much as told him so. Sure, the charade had helped Samson, but it had helped him more.
Come clean time. Too bad it left a bad taste in his mouth.
When she opened the door, her smile was beaming, but her eyes were sad.
“What’s the matter?”
She blinked rapidly. “Are you kidding me? Nothing’s the matter. That was an amazing spectacle you put on there. The rich MILF crowd ate it up. I had a veritable bidding war on some of your pieces.” She splayed her hands wide. “You do realize we sold everything right? Every piece is gone.”
“All of it?” No wonder Sam had been in a forgiving mood. He traced a finger down her cheek. “Then why the sad eyes?”
“Nothing. I— Look, I know you said you didn’t want to show it, and you didn’t think it was ready, and all the usual bullshit artists use to never sell anything. But at the last minute I put the sculpture piece in.”
His heart thundered. What the hell? “What? Say that again?”
“The sculpture.” She immediately put up her hands and took a step back. “Okay, look. I know you said you didn’t want it displayed, and push comes to shove I can get it back, but come on, the damn thing sold for twenty grand. I thought you’d be happy about it. You said it wasn’t sentimental, so I thought you needed a little nudge in the right direction and…”
His brain rushed to catch up. Did she say twenty grand? Blood rushed between his ears, and he only caught snippets. “In love….that piece…said it captured her attention more than anything else there…bidding war…loved...commission more.”
“Jessica, wait.”
She blinked up at him with bright blue eyes. “Are you really mad?”
He opened his mouth, shut it again, tried once more but nothing came out. Once more with feeling. “I thought you sent it back. I was pretty sure I saw it at the studio. Jessica, I’m not a sculptor.”
“Well, remember how I went to get all those authentications? I picked it up again, and it doesn’t matter if you do another piece again, this one sold. So if you ever did want to do one again, there’s a market. I only wanted to show you that you could do it. Shit, tell me how mad you are so I can start kissing your ass already, ‘cause in one night, you’ve saved my gallery, and you’ve helped me prove that I’m not crazy for taking on this job.” She ran her hands through her hair and stared at him. “Shit, Eli, will you say something? Anything. You’re freaking me out.”
He dragged her against him and slid his mouth firmly over hers. It took her a full three seconds to kiss him back. Then came the speedy clawing at each other’s clothes that always happened with them. He tried to be gentle, but he heard the fabric at her zipper tear. Shit. Too impatient to deal with the buttons at her collar he snatched the fabric at her hips and tugged up. As soon as her movements were unhindered, Eli smoothed his hands down over her ass and the backs of her thighs, before picking her up. Her legs wound around him effortlessly.
Going off his brief glimpse of the room, he maneuvered them to the bed, banging into the coffee table only once. His shins would forgive him as soon as he buried his dick inside her. As soon as he was home. The truth was for later. Right now he had to have her any way he could.
Falling back against the bed with her on top of him, he fumbled for his belt.
She brushed his hands away. “I have to warn you, this is setting a bad precedence and will only make me continue to defy you at every turn. If your plan is to make me listen, then this isn’t going to work.”
As soon as her soft fingertips wrapped around his dick, he stopped breathing, and all he could hear was the rushing blood in his ears. “I need to be inside you right now.”
Too impatient for her slowly gliding fingers, he flipped her over, earning himself a squeal. Which turned into a moan as he lined up the rigid length of himself against her silken softness. Thank God she’d stopped bothering to wear underwear around him. With his thumb, he circled her clit once. She bit her bottom lip. He circled the bundle of nerves twice more and groaned. When his thumb made a third pass over the tight nub, Jessica’s back bowed, and she clawed at his starched shirt.
“Eli. Hurry.”
That was all he needed—to slide deep into her. They were both so keyed up, all it took was a few strokes. She tugged on his hair, and he sucked her breast through her tight bodice. As soon as she quivered around him, he picked up the pace, driving into her until she screamed out his name again and again as her release swept her up. He quickly followed
, sliding into her one last time before blissful ecstasy took over, and he didn’t remember his name anymore.
Several minutes later, they lay intertwined, fully clothed, breathing harshly, and sweat dripping from their brows. Jessica smirked up at him. “So is this a no, you’re not mad at me for making you a sculptor.”
He chuckled and nuzzled her neck. “No, I’m not mad. I wish I’d known. But I’m not mad. It’s something from the past. And hey, you made me twenty grand.” Without knowing it, she’d given him the one thing he’d always wondered about. He’d never known if he could have been as talented as Samson He’d always been chasing his brother trying to save him. By selling that piece, she’d shown him a possibility he’d never known. And he couldn’t even tell her.
“Hey, so I was thinking. Maybe we could go away this weekend. You and me. Catalina or San Diego. Maybe down to Mexico, take a couple of days and get to know each other without all the crazy.” Preferably somewhere you won’t ditch me when you find out I lied to you.
She stopped tracing lazy circles on his back and turned to face him. Wide blue eyes blinked up at him, and she began to squirm under him. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He’d pushed her too far maybe. “Stay put, I’ll be right back,” he said.
Eli stumbled into the bathroom, cleaned up, and adjusted his clothing. He wet a washcloth with warm water and brought it back to her. He cleaned her up and readjusted her dress as best he could. When she was clothed, he sat across from her. “You want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Eli, I—”
He knew that look. Ice and dread knotted in his belly. She was going to leave him. “Jess, whatever you think you want to do right now, don’t. Look, I’m sorry. I came off as really intense right now, and we fell into the usual pattern. I …I—” His heart hammered, and he could feel the panic attack coming on, like when he thought Sam was dying. Oh shit.
“Eli. I can’t go away with you. I can’t keep seeing you.”
Oh Shit. The moment the words were out of her mouth, his whole body went numb. She’d found a reason to leave without even knowing the truth. As she spoke, it was as if she held a megaphone in a sprawling auditorium of one person. “Eli, I watched you tonight. I was so sick with jealousy. You and I weren’t ever really meant to work out. You’re an artist, and at the end of the day, that’s not what I want for myself. I’ll always be second guessing. I’ll always be wondering if I’m enough. I know I keep saying it’s the last thing I want, but I need someone stable with a stable life. It will help me feel solid. I’m so sorry. I just can’t. You will break my heart.”
Disconnected from the numbness of his body, Eli forced himself out of the chair and woodenly headed for the door. Peripherally, he knew she was crying. He wanted to comfort her, but she would always see Samson. Not Eli.
With a soft click of the door, he left.
Chapter 23
“I’m in love with him. So I broke up with him. That's crazy, right?” Jessica clutched her throw pillow as she and Izzy watched Kara toddle around Izzy’s living room.
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
Jessica scowled at Izzy, but she shrugged. “You love him, but you ran. Does that sound rational to you?”
No. “Yes.” How the hell was she that girl? Sitting around crying over a dude. A dude that she loved. “I mean, what would you have done if you were me? He’s too much. Too intense. And I can’t take any more shows like last night. I know it’s insecure, but I can’t help it. Seeing him with another woman—it’s not something I can look at night after night and be okay with it. He’s brilliant, but I can’t support him.”
Izzy nodded. “Sweetheart, I understand how you feel, but at the end of the day it comes down to trust and how he makes you feel about yourself when you’re with him.”
How did she feel when she was with him? Besides completely off kilter. “I feel alive. Like he sees me. Like I don’t have to be anyone other than who I was intended to be.”
Izzy smirked. “You sound like that theme song from that television show.”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “I need your help here, Iz. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Honey, as much as I’m dying to tell you to be with him and simply embrace your happiness, I’m afraid I can’t. You have to come to that conclusion all on your own. And you have to figure out what you want.”
She wanted Eli, but she couldn’t have him. “The two of us together would be a bad idea. I’ve got too much shit, and he’s, well, him, and so rigid sometimes, and so Samson. He’s an artist.”
Izzy grinned. “Rigid, huh?”
Jessica glared at her. “I swear my best friend is fourteen.”
“No, honey, you were thinking it.” Then more soberly, she added, “Jessica, don’t lose him because you’re afraid. If you think it really won’t work out, pick legitimate reasons and stick to them. Don’t manufacture them in your head. You deserve love. But you have to believe it first. Not to mention for an artistic type, he’s pretty straight-laced. I think it’s great that he grounds you.”
Jess sniffled. “Yeah, I guess you're right. For once, I picked the guy I should have picked.”
“Yeah, there's that.” Izzy rubbed her eyes then asked the million dollar question. “What are you going to do about managing him?”
Sadness enveloped Jessica like a cloud. Less than a month ago, she’d had no boyfriend and no star client. A few short weeks later, she’d already had and lost both. “I don’t know. After I broke up with him, he walked out on me.”
Izzy patted her arm as they huddled close on Izzy's couch with a throw over Jessica's legs. “Sweetie, if you want to be with him, why didn't you guys work it out? You have to give a little if you want to win big.”
Jessica sniffled again. Through the layer of tears, she reached for another tissue. “Because I’ll always see him with other women. I'll keep playing it over and over in my head.”
“But, honey, you're not really the jealous type. You’ve always had confidence in spades. At least you look the part on the outside.”
She dragged the blanket tighter against her. “It's easy to have confidence when you don’t care about something. Every guy I’ve ever dated I could put on a ton of bravado and walk because I really didn't care. I've been dating guys I knew weren’t the type I wanted. Knew were no good, and at the end of the day, didn’t really make me feel anything.”
“Then why did you go out with them?”
“No one better to do?”
Izzy barked out a laugh. “Even sorely depressed, you can make me laugh.”
“What am I going to do?” She sniffled some more and wiped her nose.
“Okay, you say he wanted to go away with you. Honey, no man wants to do that unless he's into you. Like really into you. He wants you.”
“But he's an artist and bad for me, and I think I'm sort of outgrowing my misfit life. It doesn't fit anymore.”
“You’re not taking any of that to heart, are you? I've noticed I see less piercings and fewer wigs. I didn’t want you to change yourself. I was just suggesting a little less facial hardware when you were meeting with clients.”
Jessica reached out to squeeze Izzy's hand. “I know, babes. Truth is, except for the Sanskrit tat on my back, that I can’t even see without the aid of a mirror, every single one of my piercings has been because of a guy. Because I broke up with a guy or because my mother drove me to drink. I figure being an outsider was the way to stand out. Then I got older and liked my misfit crowd. I sorta didn't need the trappings anymore.”
“No reason you can’t have the crowd without the trappings. And hate to break it to you, but with that body and that pale blond hair, you stand out no matter what you do. You didn’t need all this other stuff.”
“Yeah, I know.” She shrugged. “I met Eli, and I sort of wanted him to see me. Like me without all this stuff on me, ya know. Just me.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Boisterous male voices echoed do
wn the halls and then abruptly halted. Through her tears, Jessica saw Jason and Nick both wearing horrified expressions and Aaron who surprisingly had a look of murder and concern on his face. Hmm, well go figure, he didn't hate her after all.
Izzy waved them away. “Nothing to see here, fellas. Take yourselves on into the game room or courts, we're having a girls’ moment. Any minute, we're going to start singing jingles from tampon commercials.”
If the tears hadn’t done them in that certainly did. They all fled.
“You know how to clear a room.”
“My bad ass bestie taught me that.”
“Not feeling so bad ass right about now.”
“Well, honey, if you love him, then I don’t see any reason you shouldn’t be with him. But you guys need to have a couple of conversations about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with.”
“But he has to work, Iz. I don't want to get in the way of that.”
“Dude, have you ever considered being his model? I mean come on. That resolves the problem if he continues to do these, erm, uh, exhibitions.”
Jessica frowned. No, she'd never considered being his model. “I guess it never crossed my mind.”
“Because you were so focused on running.”
“But I love him, why would I run?”
“Because, by your own admission, you've never been in love. That shit is frightening. You remember how bad I nearly fucked it up.”
Thinking back to how Izzy hadn’t told Jason she was pregnant at first and almost lost Nick to his crazy bio mom, Jessica shuddered. “Is this how it always happens?”
“Don't know. Only really been in love once. I feel for anyone going through it.”
“It sucks.”
“Hear, hear, sister. Now, what are you going to do about getting your man back?”
***
Before going to find Eli, Jessica made a stop at her mother’s. She regretted the decision the moment Michael answered the door.
After the awkward pleasantries, she opted to address him head on. “You know, maybe I can’t get rid of you. But the thing you'll have to understand is you can’t get rid of me. I’m her daughter. Plus I'm in control of the finances. I hope Mom mentioned that.”