CHAPTER 13
Brooke
I watched him sleep as I lay there unable to find my own restful peace. My mind raced as I tried to think of everything I wanted to say in the letter that Dr. Marks had asked me to write to Thomas. It was a chapter in my life that I wanted closed. And I knew that the longer I put off facing it head on, the more Dylan and I would suffer.
I turned to my side and faced the window where Dylan had made love to me the night before, thinking about what his reaction would be if he really knew the truth about me. I'd always been filled with self-doubt, never fully being able to accept the fact that it was really possible for a man to love me, because I was so deeply damaged. It wasn't just what I needed to say to Thomas that weighed on my mind though, but also what had happened while I was held at Kristof's compound.
A tear escaped my eye as I remembered those past events in my life. I took a deep breath and crawled out of bed and went into Dylan's office and shut the door behind me. I sat there quietly for a few moments, inhaling his sweet scent that I loved so much. I had a plan, one that those closest to me would never approve of, but would finally bring me closure, once and for all.
I opened the top drawer on Dylan's desk, searching for a pad of paper and a pen, but came up empty. What I found was paperwork, lots and lots of paperwork. Amidst the chaos in the drawer was a copy of our marriage license. I pulled it out, remembering the day I'd vowed forever with him. It was the happiest day of my life. I folded the paper back up and put it back in its place.
I opened the next drawer down, and covered my mouth with my hand, when I saw the loaded 9mm Smith and Wesson laying there. I always figured that he had a gun hidden somewhere in the house, but I had imagined it being locked somewhere safe. This...this was right out in the open, ready for the taking by anyone who wanted it. I wanted it.
I pulled the gun out of the drawer and quietly opened the door, peeking out to make sure no one was lurking in the dark. I walked into the kitchen and turned on the overhead light, so I didn't draw attention to myself. I grabbed a paper towel and gently wrapped it around my new friend and placed it in my purse. Grabbing a drink of water, I zipped my handbag closed and set it on the floor, before turning off the light and heading back into the office.
Plan number one, done.
I continued to search through the drawers until I found some paper and a pen. I took a deep breath and began writing.
Dear Dylan,
Dr. Marks has given me this homework assignment in an effort to help me deal with my issues from childhood. He wants me to write this letter to Thomas, but I have decided to write the letter to you.
You may be wondering why I've chosen to write to you, instead of that shit bag. I'm doing it for a couple of reasons. Number one, because I don't ever plan on sharing this letter with him and two, because there are things that you need to know. Things that I should have told you long ago, but I couldn't find the strength, because I was too ashamed and felt that I wasn't worthy of being loved by anyone, let alone you.
You have shown me nothing but unconditional love, and no matter how much I fuck up, you're always there. You are the one that deserves an explanation, not Thomas. You are the one I trust with my feelings and I hope that you will be able to forgive me and still love me after what I tell you.
I know you were upset with me for being rude to my mother, but the moment I returned home, I couldn't help but not want to see her. I was anxious about what life might be like after being gone for so long. I know that you missed out as well, but you had a choice and you chose to stay back in Ireland. I didn't have that choice where I was.
Seeing my mother was a constant reminder of what I was trying to avoid upon my return. My past. The more time I spent around her, the angrier I became. I'm sure you've figured out by now that there are many secrets in my family. I was taught to be a good girl, get good grades, go to church and to keep my mouth shut about our family affairs. This was something I was taught by her. She hated confrontation, which was why she allowed Thomas to treat me the way he did. Over the years, I learned to make excuses for her, denying the fact that she knew what was going on under her own roof. She knew.
For years, he treated me like shit, and as I grew into an adult, the insults only got worse. As everyone around us has witnessed. I know you've wanted to beat the shit out of him on several occasions, but have held yourself back from doing it for my sake. I love you for that. Not for holding back, for the simple fact, that you respect and love me enough to control your temper.
My home life was anything but pleasant. I lived with an alcoholic father that liked to belittle me any time he was given the chance, which was all the time. There were times when I would be sitting at the kitchen table doing homework, would have a question, and be told that I was stupid because I couldn't figure it out on my own. But whenever Stephanie had a question, she wasn't subjected to the same reaction. I suppose my sister lived in her own hell by having to watch all of this as she grew up. I can't speak for her, only for myself, but in conversations that I've had with her, I can only assume the effect on her was just as damaging.
I endured years of mental, emotional and sexual abuse by a man that I called my father. When my mother was gone at work, he would lock me in closets for long hours and then beat me if I cried. I learned quickly to shut off my emotions for fear that he might one day kill me. The worst was when he was drinking, and no one was in the house. Steph would be at a friend's house, my mom at work, but me, I was left at home to deal with a monster. Anything he wanted, he took. And, I mean... anything. He didn't care how I felt and I learned to just deal with it.
You see, Dylan, being raped repeatedly by someone you loved and trusted causes a person not to trust or be able to accept love from someone who genuinely offers it. When I first met you, I had reservations about us, because I was afraid of my feelings for you. I was sure that you didn't love me. How could you? Everything I'd been taught about love was seriously skewed. But then,when we made love for the first time, I felt it. I felt how much you wanted and loved me, and it scared the living hell out of me. Yet, I was so completely comfortable in your touch. I'd never had anyone make me feel the way you did. Your controlling ways should have scared the shit of me, but instead, I found comfort in them...in you.
I am so incredibly fucked up, but I know now that I am worthy of your love and I thank you for making me understand that. I know I should have told you sooner, but I was embarrassed and ashamed. I lived with nothing but guilt and blamed myself for years, until that day when I saw my mother after we'd returned. I know I lost it, but I was filled with so much pain inside and it had nothing to do with you, it was me. I don't know, Dylan, maybe it had something to do with being pregnant and losing our baby that made me realize how shitty my parents are. I would have died for our child and I know you would have, too. Neither of us would have never done anything to harm such a precious gift.
Seeing my mother ignited my anger and I didn't feel like a precious gift to her. She should have left the monster the minute he started abusing us. She may not have known about the sexual abuse, because I never told her, but she knew about the physical,yet she chose to stay and allow it to continue. I can honestly say to you, that if you ever harmed one of our babies, I would leave you. Just as I would expect you to leave me.
But that's not all, Dylan. There is also the matter of when I was kidnapped. I went through things that weren't even humanly imaginable. I was locked in a dark cell, and that is where I spent my days and nights, unless the guards came to get me for training. They kept me drugged and would feed me an apple a day. That was how they controlled us. If we behaved, we were allowed to eat an apple, and if we didn't do what we were told, we went hungry.
There was a woman in a cell next to me, and when I wasn't drugged, she and I would talk. I remembered her, because it Amber Martinelli. She explained that she worked with the F.B.I. and they were trying to take down an underground sex ring, which is what she and I had b
ecome victims of. There were many times when she kept me from losing my mind, but as my training progressed, I lost sight of who I was and the ability to remember my past.
I know that you've witnessed my nightmares, the ones that keep both you and I up at night. Every night, it's the same dream. I hear a woman screaming and crying in pain, and I always assume it's Amber that I'm hearing, but the truth is, Dylan, the woman is...me.
You see, long before I became Kristof's slave, I had to endure hours of training. It was long, painful and dark. I was thrown into a world that I didn't even know existed. I would fantasize at first that you were there with me, until you became a distance memory and I didn't know who you were, anymore. I was tied up, gagged and whipped several times a day, until I became so submissive that I would do anything for anyone that I was given to. I was forced to have sex with other men that were part of the training camp. I don't know if they were slaves, too, or if they were there on their own accord.
I never wanted to do it or be a part of that world. I only wanted to be with you. There are secrets that you keep from me, believing that you are protecting me from the evils of my past, but, Dylan...I know what they are. You see, I met your father during my stay in Prague. I didn't know who he was at the time, because I'd been pumped so full of drugs that nobody looked familiar to me, anymore. It wasn't until I was in the hospital, when they were cleansing my system that I remembered who he was. I can only imagine how upset you must be as you read this, but I want you to know, that nothing ever happened with him. The day that you and Tristan arrived to rescue me, I saw him, once again. He had been visiting some of the other girls that were at the palace. When I left and went to the bathroom, I accidentally ran into him and he was pissed that I was roaming around, instead of in the room pleasing the guests, which was you and Tristan. Knowing what I do now, he had no clue that it was you in that room with me.
I have overheard conversations between you and Tristan, regarding what happened that day. I know that you killed your father in an effort to save me. I can't imagine the guilt you must feel or the resentment you have toward me, but I will be forever grateful to you for risking it all, just to get me out of there. I have heard your struggles in your sleep, regarding how you will tell your mother what happened on that day. Dylan, you have to tell her as she has a right to know, and you must remember that she, too, was living a lie. It wasn't just you.
I know this is all so hard to hear, but in my heart, I needed to tell you. I know how your crime scene was cleaned up, and it will all be revealed soon in the upcoming weeks. I can't give you any details, my dear husband, but you're not the only one with connections. All I ask is that you keep an open mind and accept the gift that I am about to give you, because I love you more than life itself.
In closing, I understand that you and Tristan have been searching for Thomas and at this point, I assume that's the special project you have Alexi working on, as well. My love, I know where he is. I have known for quite some time, and I can assure you, he is going to get what he deserves very soon. Please don't worry about me, I'll be back, but I have two things I need to do before I can return to you a completely healed woman.
I love you,
Brooke
CHAPTER 14
Brooke
I folded the letter and placed it in an envelope addressed to Dylan. I put it in the only place I knew he'd read it without me present: his briefcase. It wasn't fair to leave him to read such awful things at work, but I had no choice. I needed to be able to break away the moment I had the chance, without his team following me.
I went back to bed as the sun was beginning rise. I was feeling better than I had in my entire life. I no longer felt weighted down with the events of the past and now that everything was out in the open, I could move forward. After today, my life would be what it should have been all along...happy. I placed my hand over my belly, remembering the loss I had suffered and hoped for a new beginning. Yes, I wanted a baby. A family, one that Dylan and I had created with love. It was the one thing that mattered most to me.
I felt him stir next to me, and place his arm around me, snuggling next to me, as he took in the scent of my hair. His touch was warm as his hand came down to meet mine, resting on my belly.
"I love you," he whispered, while feathering kisses down my neck.
"I love you, too," I said as a tear escaped my eye. My heart was breaking for what he was about to read, but it was time that he knew the truth. I hadn't told him that I'd been in contact with Stefan over the last couple of days, because I knew how he felt about him. I wasn't crazy about him either, but I understood what his mission was. Those eleven years that I'd spent with him had turned out to be a total lie, but I vowed to never be a victim again and had to rectify the situation with him, first.
I was surprised to learn that once this case was closed, he'd be returning home to his family that he'd been away from for many years. Yes, Stefan had a family. A wife, children and he missed them very much. So much of his life had been consumed by living a lie, sleeping with a woman he didn't love and pretending to love a man that he had absolutely no respect for. Eleven, long years he had spent with me, only being able to see his family when he was on a business trip. I don't know how he did it or why, and I still wasn't convinced that I liked him, especially after what he'd done to me in that hotel room. Then again, if that hadn't happened, I would never have been with Dylan.
Dylan gave me a soft kiss and headed to the shower. I waited, giving him privacy, because I didn't need to be distracted with all I had to do for the day. His shower was quick and I looked at the clock, realizing that he'd overslept. I hopped out of bed and went to the closet, choosing his navy blue suit with a white tie. It was my second favorite suit, as it brought out the blue in his eyes. I helped him with his tie, then pulled him down for a deep kiss, sending him on his way.
I felt a tinge of sadness as he walked away, but I had business to take care of, and today had to be the day. I showered, dressed in a business suit and took extra care in my appearance. Over the last couple of days, I had enlisted the help of Tristan, and was ready to take care of the issue, once and for all.
I met Tristan in the foyer of the penthouse, where he was dressed in a suit and tie. I had to take a step back and remember that he was Dylan's best friend, because he looked fucking hot when he wasn't dressed like a killing machine. Not that he looked bad dressed that way either, but in a suit, Tristan was an orgasm waiting to happen. It didn't seem right looking at my husband's best friend that way, and I hoped I'd be able to concentrate on my task at hand, instead of him.
We headed down the elevator and into the garage. I looked over at my car, ensuring that there was nothing that'd be blocking my escape later in the afternoon. That part of my plan, I hadn't shared with Tristan.
I dug my sunglasses out of my bag as the we veered onto the street. We drove north on I-25 until we were greeted with a sea of houses, located in the suburbs of Denver. We took the 144th Avenue exit and headed east until we arrived at our destination.
I waited for Tristan to open my door, then stepped out. I stood in front of a two-story house, painted brown with white trim. From the outside, everything looked pristine and perfect, but on the inside was where an evil, clueless bitch resided.
"You ready, Brooke?"
"As ready as I'll ever be. Let's do this," I said, taking a deep breath and walking up to the door as I placed my bag on my shoulder.
I rang the door bell three times, before Misty answered.
"Brooke? What are you doing here?"
"Good morning, Misty," I said in a serious tone. "Can we come in? We have some business to discuss."
"Sure, come on in. Is everything okay with Dylan?"
I blew out an angry breath, "Yes, everything is fine with him."
"Oh good, because I was really worried about him yesterday. He just seemed...off."
I was fucking pissed now, but I reassured her, once again. "Dylan is fine. I'm actually he
re to discuss you, Misty."
"Oh? What about me? Are you here to give me a promotion?"
I laughed, "Is there somewhere that we can sit and talk?"
"Sure," she said, trying to read my mood. "We can sit in the kitchen."
Tristan and I followed her. Her home was lovely.
"Misty, the reason for my visit today is to discuss your future with Prescott Oil and Gas International."
"Well, I figured as much. I took today off and well...here you are. So what is my future with the company, Brooke?"
"For starters, Misty, I don't appreciate you addressing me as Brooke."
"Excuse me, but that's your name, isn't it?"
"It is. But since I am married to Dylan, you may refer to me as, Mrs. Prescott."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No. I'm not."
"Alright, Mrs. Prescott, or whatever your name is, what the fuck are you doing at my house this early in the morning?"
"I'm glad you asked," I said, smiling.
"You see, Misty, the company is eliminating your position."
"What?" she yelled.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but due to budget cuts, we no longer have a position open for you with the company."
"You fucking bitch! This is all you! You just don't want me around your precious, Dylan."
"Well, that's not entirely true. I did a little digging into the financial records and noticed that you've been making outside purchases and charging them to the company. So, the way I see it, you've been stealing from us, and I don't take kindly to stealing. Not of company assets or husbands."
"You can't prove that."
"I can, actually."
"You just don't want me around, Dylan. That's what all of this is about. I know it is."
"I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that this gives me great pleasure. After all of the crap that you have pulled, and the little stunt in his office yesterday, yes, I am glad to see you go."
Redemption (Book 3) The Fixer Series Page 9