I need to thank some incredible women who told my story before I could even tell my story: Donna Murphy and Porter Gayle. (My cousin, Mira, introduced me to these dynamos: thanks, Mira!) Donna and Porter (A.K.A. 2 Chicks of the 2 Chicks, 2 Bikes, 1 Cause) road their bikes across the country to create awareness about young women and breast cancer. Donna and Porter are very strong (their emotions and their biceps), and sharing my story with them helped me to share my story now.
Julie Huang and Erika Angulo told my story for their Columbia University journalism master’s project. Peter Herford was their advisor and my advisor, therefore, the project was incredibly meaningful. Even though they were only journalism students, their professionalism, sensitivity, and intelligence were scary.
I also need to thank the professional supporters I have had in my life. My colleagues at 20/20 became friends during this hell. They were all cool, supportive, and always showed me that my brain was still okay while everything else was falling apart. Victor Neufeld, David Tabacoff, and Meredith White promoted me and gave me a contract during my chemo, when I was scared I was going to die. It was a huge vote of confidence. Barbara Walters sent me the most insane flowers after my surgeries! She even gave flowers to my parents! So many other incredibly supportive people were there when I was going through treatments: Allan Maraynes, Jamie Zahn, Joe Pfifferling, Alan Goldberg, David Sloan, Carla De-Landri, Katie Thompson, Nola Safro, Mia Walker, Eric Neuhaus, Julia Eisenman, Patricia Arico . . . .
And, my colleagues at Lifetime Television who have been so supportive: Allison Wallach, Alysa Hangtan, Liz Gateley, Claudine Battisti, Emily Harrold, Toby Graff, Carole Black, Meredith Wagner, Elise McVeigh, Barbara Brennan, Marianne Goode, Robin Palmer, Denise Farrell Young, and, especially Mary Dixon. Mary Dixon and I have started a special tradition: every year, to celebrate our diagnosis anniversary, we drink champagne for breakfast. Mary is a constant support system to me and I am proud to call her my friend. Lifetime has featured me in their “Stop Breast Cancer for Life” campaign, and has always made me feel that being a survivor was something that I could be proud of at work, and never, ever had to hide. That is pretty powerful!
So many people have been dedicated to getting this book out there . . . thank you!
At St. Martin’s: Steve Snider, Matt Baldacci, Carrie Hamilton-Jones, Sally Richardson, Stefanie Lindskog, Steve Cohen, Caroline Gregorio, Paul Sleven, and Courtney Fischer.
At Lifetime TV: Mary Dixon, Meredith Wagner, Carole Black, Kim Bogosian, Marian Effinger, Norris Post, Kris Soumas, Denise Farrell Young, Todd Unger, Lisa Black, Allison Wallach, Bill Brand, and Elise McVeigh
At Betsey Johnson: Catherine Nation, Agatha Szczepaniak, Betsey and Ali Froley
At Young Survival Coalition: Michelle Przypyszny and Cindy Rubin
At Breast Cancer Research Foundation: Myra Biblowit, Anna DeLuca, Robbie Finke, and Pat Altman
At Lauder: Evelyn Lauder and Sally Susman
At Stila: Carineh Martin, Kate Hall, and Jacqui Tractenberg
At B4BC: Justine Chiara
At Big Bam: Janice Bonadio
At breastcancer.org: Marisa Weiss and Hope Wohl
At Self: Cheryl Marker, Lauren Theodore, Dana DeVito, Beth Brenner, Lucy Danziger, Donna Fannesey, and Dana Points
At Zeta Tau Alpha: Nicole Patterson and Sherry Tilley
Of course I could not have written this book (or survived my ordeal) without an incredible personal support system.
Tyler gets special thanks. Tyler was brave enough to let me write openly and honestly about our relationship. Pretty impressive. Actually, if the tables were turned, I’m not sure I would have allowed that. I mean it. Think about how generous he is to have exposed himself—or rather let me expose him—in this way. Wow. I hope the overall impression that comes across about Tyler is that he was deeply in love with his wife, but scared shitless about what was happening. I hope the overall impression is that of the loving and caring, but worried husband that he was. Tyler, by letting me be honest about us, I think we will help other people be honest about their situations. You were my knight in surgeon’s scrubs. I think your surgeon’s scrubs, ironically, actually made you feel helpless. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for supporting me in writing this book. Thank you for making me a mom. Thank you for all the nights you watched Skye while I was writing. Skye gets the next thanks. Last week Skye told me that she was going to call 911 if I did not hit “save” on my computer. I know she missed me a lot when I was writing, and I will tell her when she is older that this book is for her. I want her to understand what I lived through and how special and precious her life is to me. That I never take a second of our togetherness for granted. (Hawa and Jen: thank you for always being there for Skye.)
My parents and brothers’ love is something I always counted on, but I never knew how much I needed it during my cancer. Harvey and Barbara Weiner: I love and adore you! Thank you for letting me write about what we all went through. Paul and Howard, your support was felt greatly by me. I know that no matter what happens, I will always have your love and support. You are the best brothers and I am a lucky girl. Thank you to Lori and Cheri, too, for all of your love. My extended family was so much a part of my support system, too. My in-laws: Marie, Gerald, Wendy, Leslie, Tom, and Jan. Stephen, Eric, Edi, Alissa Adler, Pamela Murphy, Marilyn and Larry Lindberg, Marty, Andi and Suzanne Weiner, the Kay Family (David, Mira, Brielle, Rebecca, Steve, Rhonda, and Robbi), Honey and Barb, the Myles Girls (Hallie, Lynda, and Wendy), the Portnoys (Bernard and Nancy), and Carol Kohn.
So many people helped me to put my life back together again and made such a huge difference in my life. There was so much you could not read about: my best friends from childhood, Jane Andrews and Diane Zweiman. Thank you for being there for me (along with Robin) since I was three years old! Thank you to the Ratner, Zweiman, and Andrew families, too, for all of their support. Ethan Prochnick went with me to almost every doctor appointment while he was writing a screenplay. How do I ever adequately say “thank you” to Steve Brower, Nancy Napier, Josh Lord, Forrest Murray, Jen Altman, Rebecca and Judy Porter, Suzanne Seltzer, Jessie and Julie Cohen, Robin Sias, Pamela Meisel, Carlin Vickery, the Shapiro Family (Dan, Ellen, Andrew, Peter, Stu Blumberg), Laura Van Straten, Georgia Witkin, Leslie Hurtig, the Altman Family (Jane, Bob, and Jon), Sandra Haber, David Weinstein, Anne Moore, Mary Ellen Mark, Jill Fishbane-Mayer, Andy Liebowitz, Howard Rosenberg, Kevin Fox, Marianne Brower, Shelly and Diana Jacobsen, Robin and Rich Tedesco, Ira, Barbara, and Jesse Schreck. You all were my 18 Hour support bra!
Okay, I saved the best for last. The survivors. Tami Agassi, Leslie Monsky, and Stacey Sager have been so supportive of me telling my story. Melissa Banks called me because our moms had mutual friends and she wanted me to believe that I could live. Thank you!
I want to especially thank three special survivors who paved my way. I need to start with “Aunt” Rena. Rena, you called me because your nephew asked you to. I was a stranger but you became my confidante and mentor and even my “aunt” during this ordeal. You showed me that I could survive, even thrive, after breast cancer. You showed me that every day should be a celebration.
Meredith White, you showed me that I could live again. I wish that every woman could have a “Meredith” while going through breast cancer: a friend, a champion, and an inspiration. I hope that my daughter, Skye Meredith, grows up to be at least half the woman you are. You came to the wig shop, you bought me a sexy bra for my newly reconstructed boobs, and you helped me come out about my cancer at work. And, you made this book happen!
Jane Altman, thank you for teaching me how to be my own best advocate. Thank you for your beautiful daughter, my amazing best friend, Jen. You are both such true friends.
I am humbled by everyone’s love and support. . . .
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, w
ithout the express written permission of the publisher.
Copyright © 2004 by Geralyn Lucas
Cover design by Open Road Integrated Media
ISBN 978-1-4976-0616-6
This edition published in 2014 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.
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Table of Contents
Epigraphs
Note to Readers
Dedication
The Lipstick Manifesto
Chapter 1: Stripping
Chapter 2: Lumps
Chapter 3: Headlights
Chapter 4: I Need to Get It Off My Chest
Chapter 5: Why I Wore Lipstick
Chapter 6: Peep Show
Chapter 7: Cocktails
Chapter 8: Hair Removal
Chapter 9: My Mojo
Chapter 10: Busted!
Chapter 11: 18-Hour Support Bra
Chapter 12: Falsie
Chapter 13: I’m a Survivor
Chapter 14: My Monet
Chapter 15: Vomit
Chapter 16: Leo, Not Cancer
Chapter 17: The Booby Mafia
Chapter 18: Pushing the Envelope
Chapter 19: Barbie’s Boob
Chapter 20: Developing
Afterword
Resources
Special Thanks
Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy Page 18