by Linda Warren
“What!”
“I’m tired, Ethan. Tired of crime. Tired of the bad guys always getting the best of us. I lock a bastard up for selling drugs to kids and he’s back on the street within a week doing the same thing. The revolving door never stops and I’ve had it.”
“I hate to hear that. You’re one of the best cops I’ve ever worked with.”
“Your sister-in-law has a different opinion.” He shouldn’t have said that, but it seemed to slip out. Stop thinking about her.
“Sarah?”
“I guess it all comes back to Rudy Boyd and all the lives he’s destroyed.”
“But you got him, Daniel. He’s on death row waiting for an execution date.”
“That won’t change things for Sarah or Greg.”
“You can’t blame yourself.”
“I do, though. I should have been aware of what Greg was doing.”
“You trusted him—like I’ve trusted men under me. Greg broke that trust, not you.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t help me to sleep better at night.”
“Daniel…”
“Daddy, Daddy.” Jassy crawled into Ethan’s lap. “Did you watch me, Daddy?”
“I’m always watching you.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Do you remember Daniel?”
Jassy nodded and said, “Hi.”
“You have the most beautiful blue eyes,” Daniel said, mesmerized by their brightness.
“I got my mommy’s eyes,” she told him.
“Sarah has them, too.” He didn’t even realize he’d spoken the words out loud until he saw Ethan’s face.
“Mommy and Sari are just alike, but Daddy and me can tell them apart. We know Mommy, don’t we, Daddy?”
“You bet we know Mommy.”
Daniel stood. “I’d better go.”
“Why don’t you come back to the house with us? Serena would love to see you.”
Daniel shook his head. “Thanks, but I’ve been working on a case and I have some loose ends to tie up. After I see the lieutenant on Monday, I’m flying to France to see my parents.”
“Sarah will be there,” Ethan added with a sheepish grin as if he knew exactly what was on Daniel’s mind—a woman he couldn’t get out of his head.
“Ah, Ethan, I think you’re reading me like a book.”
“I recognize the signs.” Ethan got to his feet with Jassy in his arms. “Take some time. Don’t give up a career you love out of guilt, and stop blaming yourself for things you have no control over. Most important, talk to Sarah.”
Daniel didn’t tell Ethan he already had. He didn’t want his friend caught in the middle. He’d deal with the situation in his own way.
“I’ll think about it,” he said, reaching over to kiss Jassy’s cheek. “Kiss your mom for me.”
“No.” Jassy frowned. “You can’t kiss my mommy. Only Daddy kisses Mommy.”
“Jasmine Marie,” Ethan scolded gently. “That’s not nice.”
“I’m sorry.” Jassy hung her head.
Daniel touched her soft cheek. “It’s okay and I promise to never kiss your mommy.”
“Okay.” Jassy glanced up at him, her eyes bright again. “I kiss Sari for you. Sari needs lots of kisses.”
Daniel’s stomach tightened at the innocent words, but he felt the simple truth in them, too. How nice it would be to kiss Sarah Welch. He shook Ethan’s hand and strolled away, a slight curve to his mouth.
Only in my dreams, Jassy. Only in my dreams.
CHAPTER FIVE
SARAH HAD A GREAT TIME. She relaxed and enjoyed her afternoon with her twin. They talked, shopped, laughed and made fun of each other with sisterly love. In the mall, they ordered a decadent chocolate-fudge sundae then spent two hours in a beauty salon getting a pedicure and a manicure. Sarah also had her long hair cut into a casual style that hung around her shoulders.
They ignored the many stares and glances they received, but they were secretly amused. Two identical redheads were an eye-catcher.
Since she was on call, she had to take a couple of phone calls, but other than that they had the afternoon to themselves. Later, she went by the hospital to check on Brooke. Her family was there, so Sarah knew she was okay.
They picked up food to cook on the grill for dinner and Ethan played chef, then Jassy put on a show with her jumping and flipping. Sarah and Serena talked until after midnight and Sarah felt herself opening up, confiding and exposing the destructive emotions inside her. All this time and she’d thought she was fine. It took Daniel’s words and Brooke’s question to make her realize she was far from a full recovery.
She’d made a start with her sister’s help and she intended to go forward now. Sarah felt as if she’d been living in a darkened room and someone had suddenly opened a door, letting in the fresh air and sunshine. She could feel its warmth slowly seeping into the coldest part of her. The feeling was liberating. She realized it was only a small step and she had a long way to go, but she was ready to face life again with Serena and her family behind her.
All too soon, they were saying goodbye and Sarah experienced a moment of sadness for all the years she and Serena had missed. But they had each other now and that’s what counted.
She held Jassy close, not wanting to let her go.
“Oh, I forget,” Jassy said, planting a big kiss on Sarah’s cheek. “That’s from Daniel.”
Sarah felt the blood draining from her face. It was one of those unexpected moments that left her vulnerable and speechless. Ethan hadn’t said anything about his visit with Daniel. Evidently she’d been mentioned.
“He wanted me to give Mommy a kiss, but I said no, that only Daddy kisses Mommy. I tell him I kiss you.”
“Oh, I see,” Sarah murmured in a low voice. Daniel really wanted to kiss Serena. Who wouldn’t?
Ethan took Jassy out of her arms. “Come here, munchkin, before you get yourself in a lot of trouble.” Ethan hugged Sarah. “Call Daniel,” he whispered, and took Jassy to the truck.
Serena was talking to Gran and Sarah was only vaguely aware of their voices. Call Daniel. What had Daniel told Ethan?
“I enjoyed this surprise visit,” Gran was saying.
Serena kissed Gran. “Remember you and Sarah are coming to spend the week during spring break.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
Serena hugged Sarah and they held on tight. “I’m a phone call away,” Serena said.
“I know, and thanks.”
Serena leaned back. “You’re going to be fine and you look marvelous.”
Sarah curtsied. “Thank you. I look like my sister.”
They laughed and it felt so good to have that happy feeling again. Serena ran to the truck and Jassy waved frantically.
Sarah waved until they were out of sight. Linking her arm with Gran’s, they went back into the house.
“I thought I’d go to Hazel’s,” Gran said. “They’re playing bridge at her house.” Gran was an avid bridge player and she tried to never miss a game.
“Sure, Gran,” Sarah replied. “Go ahead. I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be lonely.”
“I’m fine, Gran.”
“I do love your new hairstyle.”
“Thanks. Now go have fun and—” Her phone rang, cutting her off. “See, I’ll be busy.”
“’Bye, darling.”
“’Bye, Gran,” Sarah called after her, and clicked on her cell phone.
It was Brooke and she was upset because the police were waiting to question her again and she wanted Sarah there. Sarah grabbed her purse and jacket and headed for the hospital.
She hurried down the corridor to Brooke’s room, hoping Daniel would be there. Ethan was right. She had to talk to him. She didn’t blame him for Greg’s death and she had to tell him that.
She turned a corner and saw Russ and the other detective, Joel, standing outside Brooke’s door. Daniel wasn’t here. Her heart sank.
Russ had his back to her, but Joel saw her. He nudged Russ. “Ms. Welch is here.”
Russ swung around, ready to unload on her, but his jaw dropped and no words came out. His narrowed eyes slid over her, taking in the cobweb of glistening copper hair that hung around her face and shoulders. She had on a white V-necked sweater, tan slacks and a dark suede jacket. Russ’s eyes seemed glued to her cleavage.
She felt a moment of panic, but only for a moment. Up until now Russ had only seen her in blouses buttoned to her throat. His stare didn’t make her angry and she didn’t feel herself shriveling up inside because a man was looking at her. She knew that was a good sign. Finally she was letting herself mend.
Russ recovered quickly. “We’ve been waiting for almost an hour. It’s good of you to show up.”
“I got the call less than thirty minutes ago and I came immediately.”
“Then let’s see her because I don’t have any more time to waste.”
Sarah and the detectives walked into the room and Brooke’s parents quietly slipped out. Brooke was sitting up in bed and Sarah went to her side.
“Are you ready?” Sarah asked.
“Yes. Now that you’re here.”
Sarah nodded to Russ and he laid some papers in Brooke’s lap. “Those are names of everyone at the party. Take a good look, Miss Wallace, and tell me if you recognize any of them.”
For the next thirty minutes Russ questioned Brooke about every male on the paper, but she didn’t have any answers, or at least not the ones Russ wanted.
Brooke held up well and Sarah admired her strength. Russ didn’t pressure her or use his usual macho tactics and Sarah was grateful for that. Afterward Sarah sat with Brooke until her parents returned. She left the hospital wondering where Daniel was. She didn’t think he’d quit in the middle of an investigation—that wouldn’t be like him at all. But what did she know about Daniel? That he was reliable, compassionate, loyal, supportive, kind and the list went on. She knew nothing about his personal life or his family and she’d never heard Ethan say anything about them, either.
That’s probably the way it should stay, she decided as she pulled into her garage. Still she didn’t want to be part of the reason he’d quit his job. She’d rectify that the next time she saw him. She just didn’t know exactly when that would be.
THE NEXT MORNING Sarah was in the office early. Karen was back and they had several cases to discuss.
“My, don’t you look great,” Karen commented when Sarah walked into her office.
Karen was in her forties, slim with dark hair and eyes. She’d been a very good friend over the past four years, taking Sarah on as a counselor even though she was just out of school, because she believed she could do the job. As a psychologist, Sarah thought Karen was the best. She had a warm personality that invited confidences and Sarah had confided in her many times. But she could only share that deep inner pain with Serena and she knew it had to do with their special bond.
Sarah sat down. “Serena came home for the weekend and we had a girl’s day out.”
Karen glanced at the scooped neckline of Sarah’s beige blouse. “I’d say it was a lot more than that.”
“Yes.” Sarah smiled. “I’m finally letting go of some of the pain.”
“What brought this about?”
Sarah crossed her legs. “Something someone said to me and I realized I’ve been suppressing a lot of emotions.”
Karen watched her. “I’ve never pushed you because I realized you needed time. Some people are like that, but I’m seeing some wonderful changes in you.” Karen paused. “Do you want to talk?”
Sarah smiled. “Maybe later. Right now I’m feeling pretty wonderful and I’ve got a client waiting.”
“I do, too, but we’ll have to take an evening and celebrate.” Karen glanced at her date book. “Seems as if we’re both going to be very busy for the next few days.”
“I hope you got some rest while you were away.”
“Oh, yes, even though it was a psychology conference, Harmon and I made time for each other.” Karen’s husband was also a psychologist, but they didn’t practice together. They felt that would be too much togetherness.
They went over the weekend cases and Sarah explained in detail about Brooke. Karen left for the hospital to visit with Brooke and an elderly woman who’d been beaten during a robbery.
Sarah was booked for the day and she spent the next few hours listening to people’s problems. She realized that’s what she did best—listen. Her first patient was a woman, Mrs. Carter, who was in her sixties and wanted to leave her husband of forty years. She said she wasn’t happy and didn’t love him anymore, but the more Mrs. Carter talked, Sarah could hear that she did. The couple had stopped talking to each other so Sarah asked her to invite her husband to a session.
She had a young mother of two whose husband had left her for another woman. Her parents were paying for the sessions and all the woman needed was for someone to listen to her. Soon she’d have confidence in herself again because she had great family support.
Sarah wasn’t so sure about the sixteen-year-old boy she saw. He had so much anger in him and at times he refused to talk. Dwayne had told a friend in school that he’d dreamed of killing his father and that boy had relayed the information to a teacher who had reported it to the principal. The principal had called Dwayne’s mother, who’d insisted he get counseling before the boy did anything foolish. When Dwayne wouldn’t talk, Sarah’d get out the cards and they’d play. It was the only way she could get him to relax and to open up. After a few sessions Sarah discovered Dwayne was not a bad kid. He was just incredibly hurt by a father who had remarried and had another son. Dwayne didn’t feel as if his father loved him anymore. Sarah was very pleased when Dwayne’s father agreed to attend some sessions. That helped tremendously.
And her day went on…
DANIEL STOPPED BY Drew’s apartment on the way to work. Even though his brother functioned at the level of a child, he insisted on having his own place. His parents in turn agreed only if Drew had a caretaker. Claude was a real find and he lived with Drew and drove him wherever he wanted to go. He’d been a nurse and he enjoyed the freedom of working in a home atmosphere. Drew was well taken care of and he felt independent.
In the past Drew had had problems getting along with his caretakers and in anger he’d run away and disappeared for a couple of days. He hadn’t done that since his parents had hired Claude. It was a good arrangement—Daniel’s parents didn’t worry and neither did Daniel.
He rang the doorbell several times before Claude opened it in a bathrobe, yawning. It was clear that Daniel had woken him up.
Claude’s hair was sheared close to his head. In his fifties, he was heavy-set with muscles. He worked out all the time and took Drew with him to the gym. As of yet, Claude hadn’t talked Drew into exercising.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” Claude said, scratching his head. “We watched movies until two this morning.”
“I just wanted to check on Drew.”
Drew came out of his bedroom in baggy pajamas, his dark hair tousled. His eyes were glazed and Daniel knew it was from the medication he took for seizures—a result of brain damage. As long as Drew stayed on the medicine, he would be fine.
“Dan-iel, Dan-iel,” he said in surprise and ran to him.
Daniel embraced him. “How you doing, buddy?”
“’kay. W-w-we w-watched movies.”
“Yeah. I heard,” Daniel replied. “I got a call from Mom and she wanted me to see if you were okay.”
Drew frowned. “You t-t-treat me like a baby.”
Daniel put his arm around Drew’s shoulder, noticing how thin he was. Drew never ate much but the doctor had said that Drew was fine so Daniel had tried not to let his anxieties get the best of him. “We worry—that’s all.”
“Yeah.” Drew yawned.
“I’ll let you two get back to sleep and I’ll talk to you lat
er.”
“You c-c-catching any bad guys?”
“I’m trying.”
Drew suddenly hugged him. “I—I—I love you.”
Daniel’s breath burned in his throat. It was so hard to see Drew like this and for a moment he wanted to rant and rave at what life and drugs had done to his brother. Instead he hugged Drew firmly. “Love you, too, buddy.”
Outside he had to take a couple of deep breaths. He didn’t tell Drew about his plans to fly to France to be with their parents. He’d tell him when it was time to leave. That way he wouldn’t be sitting around waiting. Now he had to talk to the lieutenant.
DANIEL WALKED INTO Bill Tolin’s office and laid a letter on his desk. Bill didn’t even raise his head. He kept writing in a file.
“What is it, Daniel?”
Daniel cleared his throat. “I’m resigning from my job, sir.”
Bill still didn’t look up. He was a cop who’d been around the block and was only a few years away from retirement. It was known around the department that Lieutenant Tolin was a hard but fair man. He was also known for his sharp tongue.
“Get your ass out of my office, Daniel. I don’t have time for this today.”
Daniel took a breath. “Sorry, sir. I’m serious about this.”
Bill closed the folder and leaned back in his chair. “Why?” His blue eyes demanded a straight answer.
“I’ve had a lot of discontentment lately and the other night I stepped over the line. When I start doing stupid things, it’s time to back away.”
“I see,” Bill said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Did you kill someone?”
“No, sir.”
“Did you break the law?”
“No, sir.”
“Then get your ass back to work.”
“I have to do what’s best for me, sir.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass for what’s best for you. I run the narcotics squads and I do what’s best for everyone. Right now we have a rapist on the loose and somehow he’s tied to narcotics. You’re the best man I’ve got and until this creep is off the streets, you’re not going anywhere.”