by Linda Warren
The phone rang and Daniel ran to answer it.
“Who are you, my dear?” his mother asked.
“A friend of Daniel’s,” she answered in a cautious manner, not liking the way the woman was looking at her.
“Are you the reason he hasn’t returned any of my phone calls?”
“I wasn’t aware you were trying to get in touch with me,” Daniel replied as he came back. Sarah was glad. She didn’t want to deal with Daniel’s mother.
“I left at least ten messages on your machine. Didn’t you get them?”
“I’ve been rather busy.”
His mother glanced at Sarah. “Yes. I can see.”
“Mom, Dad, this is Sarah Welch. Sarah, these are my parents, Muriel and Dan Garrett.”
Muriel bristled. “Daniel, could I speak with you privately?”
Daniel walked into the dining room with his mother and Sarah stared at Dan Garrett, unsure of what to say. But she didn’t get a chance because Muriel’s voice could be heard, preventing any conversation.
“Isn’t that Aurora Farrell’s granddaughter?”
“Yes,” Daniel said.
“The stripper? The one who was in all the papers?”
“She is not and never was a stripper,” Daniel answered, his voice as sharp as a razor.
“I will not have you dating this woman.” Muriel’s voice trilled. “I want her out of this house.”
“Excuse me?”
“This is the wrong type of woman for you. What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking she’s the right kind of woman for me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am, and I’ve heard enough.” Daniel’s voice grew louder. “I want you out of my house and I want my key back to prevent any more of these surprise visits.”
“What!”
His father looked at Sarah. “I need a drink. How about you?”
“No thanks,” she mumbled, her mind on Muriel’s words. They ran through her head like a song in the wrong key—jarring, offensive. Stripper. Stripper. Stripper. Wrong type of woman.
Dan raised his glass of scotch to Sarah. “My wife’s very high-strung and is known to stick her nose in where it doesn’t belong. I don’t pay much attention to her and you shouldn’t, either.”
Sarah wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say to that so she said nothing.
“I resent this, Daniel,” Muriel said, following Daniel into the den.
“Would you like a list of all the things I resent, Mother?”
“I can see you’re in one of your moods.”
“Good. Now you can leave.”
“We came here to talk about Drew.”
Daniel swung around. “What about Drew?”
“If you’d listen to your messages, you’d know.”
“What about Drew?” Daniel repeated firmly.
“He ran away,” his father answered.
“What? When?”
“Last night,” Muriel told him. “That’s why we were calling you. Drew listens to you.”
“Tell me what happened.”
Dan took a swallow of his scotch. “Your mother visited a home in France that caters to people like Drew. She thought he might like the change, but when she mentioned it, he became very upset, ranting about things we couldn’t understand. Later, Claude called and said Drew had run away. He found him wandering the streets about three this morning.”
“Where’s Drew now?”
“He’s back with Claude and I told him he didn’t have to go to France. He doesn’t seem to understand, though, and he wants to talk with you.”
“I’ll call him right away,” Daniel promised. “Claude has my cell number. Why didn’t he phone?”
“He probably did, but you were otherwise engaged.” Muriel glanced at Sarah.
Dan downed the rest of his scotch. “I think it’s time for us to go, Muriel, before you get your foot so far in your mouth that it’ll require surgery to remove it.”
“Why are you drinking, Dan?” Muriel snapped, turning her attention to him. “Now I’ll have to drive and you know how I hate to drive at night.”
“Call a cab, Muriel. That’s what I’m doing. I’ll be at the club.” He grabbed the bottle of scotch. “I’m taking this, son.”
“You’re becoming an alcoholic,” Muriel complained.
“That’s better than being a shrew.”
“How dare you talk to me like that in front of people!”
“Why?” Dan took a swig from the bottle. “You have no qualms about berating our son in front of his guest. So how does it feel? Not too damn good, huh?” He moved toward the door. “I’ll call a cab from my cell phone. Good night, Daniel and Sarah. Have a nice evening. I plan to.”
Muriel ran after him. “What about me?”
Dan turned to look at her. “In the words of Rhett Butler—I really don’t give a damn.” He raised the bottle and opened the door at the same time.
“Dan Garrett, come back here!” Muriel followed him outside.
DANIEL CLOSED THE DOOR, turned the deadbolt and reset the alarm. “So help me, if they come back I might have to use my gun,” he joked, walking back to Sarah.
She sat in a chair with her knees drawn up and her arms locked tight around them. She wore a closed expression that he knew well.
“Sarah, I’m so sorry. I…”
His phone rang, cutting him off. “I’ll be right back.” He went to answer it. It was Drew.
“Hi, buddy.”
“Sh-sh-she—”
“It’s okay,” Daniel stopped him. “Mom’s not sending you anywhere. I promise.”
“Home, Danny. Sh-she…she take me to a home for—for stupid people.”
“Drew, I won’t let her take you anywhere. Do you understand me?”
“N-n-no. I can’t go. I have to stay here.”
Drew was in such a state that nothing was getting through. Daniel wanted to strangle his mother, but then that was always his reaction to Muriel’s single-minded insensitivity. The only thing Daniel knew to do was to distract Drew with something else.
“Tell you what, buddy. I’m working on a real important case and when it’s over, you and I will go fishing on the coast—just you and me.”
“I can’t go.”
“Drew, listen to me. I’m talking about fishing.”
“I—I—I’m a stupid person. I can’t go.”
Daniel gripped the phone tightly. “You’re my brother. You’re not stupid and I love you.”
“I’m sorry, Danny.”
“Don’t be sorry, buddy, think about our fishing trip. You like to go to the coast, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but I can’t.”
“Drew—”
Claude came on the line. “Don’t worry, Daniel. I’ll calm him down.”
“Thanks, Claude. I’m real sorry I can’t come over. Please take care of him until I’m able to get there.”
“I will, and if you can, keep your mother away from here. She only upsets him.”
“I’ll try, but Muriel is a law unto herself. I thought they were going to be in France for a while. I apologize for the intrusion.”
“That’s okay. Now I’d better go to Drew.”
Daniel hung up with a long sigh. Could this day get any worse? He caught sight of Sarah and knew that it just had. She hadn’t moved and his heart twisted at the expression on her face. It wasn’t fear, it was something else, and it had to do with what his mother had said. He walked to her and squatted down in front of her.
“Sarah, what is it?” he asked softly.
“It’s so hard to overcome the past.”
“Please don’t listen to my mother.”
“She’s right,” she mumbled. “I was a stripper.”
“Not by choice.”
“What difference does it make? Some people will always think of me that way.” It hurt and she was obviously having a hard time dealing with everything going on inside her. A madman was after her, trying to kill her
, but it was his mother’s words that cut the deepest.
“They don’t matter.”
Sarah locked her arms tighter.
“Tell me what you’re feeling,” Daniel invited.
“It’s really hard to explain.”
“We have all night.”
She took a deep breath. “The other day I was wondering why I had the need to hold on to Gran’s house and I had to admit I wanted her love. Every day I kept striving for that, but that wasn’t it at all. Gran loves me. I found that out when I got the note from Boyd. It’s something much deeper—I’ve also been striving to be accepted by society, by people like your mother—hoping I wouldn’t be judged by my past.”
“Sarah—”
“When I was growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money for extras. I didn’t have ballet or music classes or attend private schools where poise, etiquette and manners were taught.”
“Like Serena?”
She nodded. “When I first lived with her and Gran, I felt as if I didn’t belong, that I was out of place, and tonight…tonight when your parents walked in here and looked at me so disapprovingly I felt the same way—like I’m still trying to be accepted.”
“Why?”
“Because when I hear people like your mother talking about me, I see myself through their eyes and I feel uncomfortable. I feel…”
“Did you feel uncomfortable when we were kissing?”
She glanced up, the tears in her eyes sparkling. “No. I felt good about that.”
“Then let me tell you something. My parents are snobs. That’s not me—until a year ago I lived in an apartment that didn’t have hot water half the time. I bought this place because I like hot showers in the winter. I manage on my cop’s salary and live like an ordinary working Joe. That’s me. I’m not like my parents. And there are a lot of people who feel the same way I do about you—who admire your courage.”
She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but she could feel her defenses going up. She couldn’t let that happen because she had fought too hard to reach this point. Daniel had come to mean a lot to her and she knew he wasn’t like his mother.
“I know that,” she said. “But I took my clothes off in front of men and that revulsion is always with me.”
“Sometimes in life we make choices, life-changing choices, and we have to stand by them and we have to defend them. You chose to fight for your life and to fight for justice for Greg. To do that you had to degrade yourself—that took enormous courage. You said you stayed alive because you were weak and didn’t fight back and Boyd enjoyed your fear. I think it was just the opposite—a weaker woman wouldn’t have been able to deal with Boyd and his demands and he would have killed her. By taking your clothes off you bought time—time for the cops to find you and time for justice.”
She ran her hands up and down her shinbones. “Then why do I still feel so dirty?”
“What do you tell clients when they ask you that question? What did you tell Brooke Wallace?”
“To talk about what happened to her, not to keep it all bottled up—that’s the main thing—and of course to replace bad memories with happy memories.”
“Have you talked about what happened to you?”
She leaned her head back. “Yes. Serena and I have talked and I also talked with Dr. Mason. And I’ve been talking to you.”
His face softened. “What about the memories? Have you tried to make happier memories?”
She glanced into the brown eyes she was beginning to love. Love! All of a sudden it was clear as day. The ball stopped bouncing in her head—game, set, match. She loved him. The thought was cathartic, bringing the bad stuff to the surface—stuff she had to share with him.
She inhaled a shuddering breath. “No. Up until a few days ago I covered myself completely and I’d get cold chills if a man looked at me.”
“So you were letting the fear win?”
“Yes. Then I decided I wasn’t doing that anymore. I’d told Brooke that it takes a concentrated effort and I knew I hadn’t done that. Of course Serena always boosts my confidence.”
“Getting the note put a dent in that new confidence?”
“It certainly brought back the fear, but I was surprised to find my confidence in myself as a woman was still intact. That’s why I was able to kiss you at the motel.”
“And we kissed a little while ago and everything was fine until my mother arrived and said those awful things.”
“I felt dirty again and wanted to crawl away in shame.”
His eyes caught hers. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Daniel’s faith and belief in her was uplifting. It had been there for years and she’d blocked it out. He was right. She had nothing to be ashamed of and she had to prove that to herself and no one else. She had nothing to be ashamed of.
For the first time she really believed that. She slid to the floor to face him. “No, I don’t,” she said with confidence. “Your mother and people like her can’t demean me anymore—not unless I let them. I’m taking my life back and I need your help.”
“What can I do?”
“Help me to make happy memories, to erase the bad ones.”
“How do I do that?”
Her eyes held his. “Touch me.”
He swallowed. “Where?”
“Anywhere, everywhere.”
His eyes didn’t waver from hers. “Are you sure? Kissing is one thing, but…”
She picked up his hand and linked her fingers with his. “I’m very sure. I want to forget everything that’s happening outside this house and I don’t want to think. I just want to feel—feel you touching me.” She noticed his gun. “Preferably without your gun on.”
He quickly slipped out of the shoulder holster. She watched the muscles rippling in his arms and her lower abdomen stirred in a familiar way. She saw all the looks she’d witnessed in Daniel’s eyes for the past five years—those looks of caring. She went to him and he wrapped his arms around her, tight and strong, yet gentle and comforting. She breathed in his masculine scent and let herself go with the moment.
He ran his hands up her back, feeling her softness, taking it slow, not wanting to hurt or to frighten her in any way, even though he was about to detonate from the emotions coursing through him. He’d dreamed of this moment, holding her, loving her, but it was never like this, so potent, so real and so very dangerous. She was under his protection and he shouldn’t be touching or kissing her at all. He’d just told her that adults make choices and he’d just made a conscious choice that he knew was right. He would defend it with everything in him. She needed him and for once in his life he wasn’t going by the book.
They held on to each other with tender caresses. Slowly he slid a hand beneath her T-shirt, touching the smoothness of her bare skin. She moaned and kissed his neck, his chin. He turned his head and their lips met urgently, hungrily, and Daniel tried to slow the pace, but her hands were in his hair, on his skin. Thought was impossible.
They were on the area rug on their knees, face-to-face, and striving to get closer. Sarah melted into his arms with an eagerness that surprised her. There was no revulsion, just desire between a woman and a man. She was high from Daniel’s touch and the feeling was euphoric, enticing her to take the next step.
“Oh, Daniel,” she moaned. “I have to see myself in your eyes, see your reaction to my body—that’s the only way to erase the bad memories.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “You know what you’re going to see.”
“What?”
“Sarah, you know how I feel about you.”
“How?” she asked, wanting to hear him say the words.
He got to his feet and reached out a hand to her. “Let’s continue this upstairs.” She placed her hand in his and stood. He scooped his gun up with the other hand and they made their way to the stairs and to the bedroom.
Inside the room, Daniel clicked on the lamp and laid his gun on the nightstand. He still hel
d her hand and pulled her to him. “Now, what were we talking about?”
“How you feel about me.”
He cradled his hands at the back of her waist. “I think everyone knows that but you.”
She ran her hands up his chest. “Yes. I was so confused and struggling with emotions about myself, my family, that I couldn’t see much of anything. And I didn’t want to admit what I was beginning to feel for you.”
“What do you feel for me?” he asked with a catch in his voice.
She looked into his eyes. “I love you.”
He stepped back, his eyes wide with shock. “Sarah, please don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”
“You’ve known me for a long time. Have you ever known me to lie?”
“No.” He ran both hands through his hair. “But you’ve been through a lot and a few days ago you hated me.”
She shook her head. “I’ve never hated you. I hated the way you were making me feel and I didn’t want to have those feelings for a man again, especially after what happened with Greg.”
He paled.
“What I feel for you doesn’t even compare to that. It comes from here.” She placed her hand over her heart. “It comes from knowing you and the kind of man you are—the kind that loves unconditionally even after the way I’ve treated you. You haven’t said it, but I know you love me. I’ve seen it in your eyes.”
“Sarah.” His voice was uncertain. Still, it didn’t stop her.
She pressed her body against his. “It’s so good to feel again and I want to make love—with you,” she whispered. “I want to. I need to.”
“Sarah, be very sure about this. You said you didn’t like to be touched and I don’t want to frighten you.”
“Take off my T-shirt,” she breathed against his lips.
“Sarah.”
“Daniel, make love to me.” Any resistance he’d had vanished with the huskiness of her voice. He pulled the T-shirt over her head and threw it on the bed. Unsnapping her white bra, he gazed at her porcelain skin, her round, firm breasts. Almost in slow motion, she removed her sneakers, jeans and panties. Her movements were graceful, evocative, and he thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Freckles, like fairy dust, were lightly sprinkled across her breasts and other areas of her body. He saw all her beauty, but he saw a lot more—he saw her heart and courage. All he wanted was to take her in his arms and obliterate the bad memories.