by Linda Warren
She frowned. “Is that American slang for something?”
“No. It’s the truth.”
She scooted closer. “So you like redheads?”
He took a sip of wine. “One particular redhead.”
“Your mother didn’t say you had a girlfriend.” She pouted.
“My mother doesn’t know a whole lot about me.”
She stood and flounced to the door. “I’m going to the club. You can drink your wine and think about your redhead.”
The door slammed loudly and he took another sip. He wouldn’t think about Sarah. He was still floating, lost in a maelstrom of pain, yet he could see her beautiful face and that saved him.
The next day Daniel left his parents in Paris and flew to Spain. He had a friend, Diego Valdez, who lived in Madrid. They’d been in boarding school together and had stayed in touch. Diego was a businessman with a wife and three kids. They were very hospitable, but Daniel felt in the way and soon left. He spent a week in London just walking. It seemed to always be raining, but he didn’t mind the rain. How he wound up in Mexico City he wasn’t sure.
He met a guy in a bar who was going to work on a big cattle ranch. He said the rancher was still hiring so Daniel went, too, and worked until he was exhausted. He rode a horse until his butt and legs were numb, but that didn’t bother him. He welcomed the physical activity. In the evenings, the cowhands frequented a local cantina. Daniel went along because he wanted a beer. He spoke some Spanish so he was able to converse with the locals.
A young girl not more than eighteen sidled up to him at the bar. “I speak English,” she said with pride.
“That’s nice,” he responded.
“You need woman?”
Daniel was taken aback for a second. She was so young. “No, thanks.”
She edged closer. “I very good. I make you happy.”
He looked into her dark eager eyes. “No, thanks,” he said again.
“You no like women?” She was getting angry.
“It’s not that.”
“You no like me?”
“You’re very beautiful, but you don’t have red hair.” And you don’t have Sarah’s inner strength.
Her eyes narrowed. “What that mean?”
He swallowed back the rest of his beer. “It means I’m not interested.” He walked outside and stared up at the dark sky and the million twinkling stars—the same stars that were shining over Texas, his home. And over Sarah. Thoughts of her were constantly with him. Despite the horror she’d lived through, she’d still managed to put her life back together and to help other people. Her strength was an inspiration to him and he kept that thought close to him. Now he had to find that same kind of strength. He recognized he wasn’t going to find any answers thousands of miles away from home—away from her. He had to go back to Texas to face his demons. He was now ready to do that.
SO MUCH WAS HAPPENING in Sarah’s life, but thoughts of Daniel were always with her. They’d put the house on the market and got a contract the first week, which made things rather hectic. The retirement villa didn’t have an apartment for Gran until the end of the month and Sarah had to find a place to live. She signed the contract to sell with the stipulation that they’d be given the time they needed to get out of the house.
She, Serena and Gran had talked about the sale in length and agreed it was the right thing to do. Serena came one weekend and they sorted through years of belongings. They soon realized it would take more than one weekend.
Through all of this Sarah waited for a call from Daniel. Days turned into weeks and still he didn’t call. Wherever he was, she hoped he was safe and finding the inner strength to go on.
Please come home, Daniel.
SARAH WAS GETTING READY to leave her office to look at a town house when she heard loud voices outside her door. Suddenly the door opened and Muriel and Dan stood there. Wendy, the receptionist, was behind them looking flustered.
“She said we needed an appointment to see you,” Muriel said with more than a touch of irritation. “Surely we don’t need one just to talk to you.”
“No. Please come in,” Sarah invited, eager to hear news of Daniel. She walked to the door and spoke to Wendy. “Please reschedule my appointment with the Realtor for tomorrow.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Wendy replied, and closed the door.
“Have you heard from Daniel?” Muriel asked.
Sarah blinked. “No. I thought he was with you.”
“He was for about two days,” Dan said. “He got fed up with Muriel’s matchmaking tactics and left. We haven’t heard from him since.”
Matchmaking. It took a moment for Sarah to digest this.
“I don’t understand why he doesn’t like Yvette,” Muriel complained. “She’s very beautiful.”
“The answer is standing in front of you,” Dan replied, his tone blunt. “But as always you ignore the obvious.”
“Oh,” Muriel said, staring at Sarah. “I didn’t realize that you and Daniel were that serious.”
Sarah bit her lip and walked to her desk refusing to give Muriel any information. Who was Yvette? “I haven’t seen or heard from Daniel since the funeral.”
Muriel sank into a chair and began to cry. “I feel as if I’ve lost both my sons.”
“I’ve had enough of these tears.” Dan plopped into the other chair and Sarah had a feeling she was in for a long visit.
“And I’ve had enough of your drinking,” Muriel spat, reaching into her purse for a handkerchief.
“Then leave, Muriel. The door’s always open.”
“You want me to leave?” Muriel asked in a shocked voice.
“I want the same thing Daniel wants—a measure of peace. But no, after the funeral instead of grieving privately we had to go to France. You wouldn’t listen to anything I was saying.”
“Because you’re always drunk.”
Sarah realized this was about to get out of control and she didn’t want to interfere, but she sensed these two people needed help, needed someone to listen.
“May I say something?” She took her seat.
“By all means.” Dan waved a hand.
“You’ve been married for over forty years and you seem to be at each other’s throats constantly. Yet you’ve stayed together. Why?”
“Marriage is forever, that’s why,” Muriel snapped.
“Yeah. Marriage is a golden ring prison.”
“See how he talks to me?”
There was so much underlying resentment and hostility that Sarah could actually feel it. She told herself they weren’t her clients, they hadn’t asked for her help and she should ask them to leave. They were Daniel’s parents, though, and she’d do anything she could so they could find some harmony in their marriage. For Daniel she would try.
“Yes, Muriel,” Sarah agreed. “Dan is rude and seems to have no respect for you. Yet you continue to stay with him. Why?”
Muriel hung her head.
She turned to Dan. “You continue to put up with Muriel’s constant nagging and insensitivity. Why?”
“It hasn’t been easy,” Dan muttered. “But like she said, marriage is forever.”
Neither was going to admit a thing, so she had to push. “So you do have feelings for each other?”
“Ha,” Dan grunted. “I’m not sure Muriel knows what feelings are. We’ve been married for forty-two years and not once has she told me she loves me.”
Muriel gasped, but she didn’t deny it and Sarah knew they were getting to the root of the problem.
“Have you ever told her?” Sarah asked Dan.
“On our wedding night.” Dan shifted uncomfortably. “She never answered me and I never made that mistake again.”
Sarah was shocked, to say the least, and knew some blanks had to be filled in. “How did you meet?”
Dan shifted in his seat again. “My father owned a construction company and Muriel’s was an architect. They joined forces and started building shopping centers. The busi
ness became very profitable. I was an only child and so was Muriel and our parents decided we should get married.”
“Because you were sleeping with every woman in Dallas and your father was afraid you’d get some girl pregnant.” Muriel twisted her handkerchief.
“So it was an arranged marriage?” Sarah asked before Dan could retaliate.
“I wasn’t a raving beauty like Dan’s other girlfriends and he didn’t want to marry me.”
“I never said that.”
“I felt it every time you looked at me.”
“Good God.” Dan crossed his arms in anger.
Sarah had to bring this conversation back to the real problem. “Muriel, why haven’t you ever told Dan you love him?” She threw the question out there and it was dangerous, but the way they were living was more dangerous.
“I, uh, I’m just not able to do that.”
“Why?”
Sarah waited and she thought Muriel would refuse to answer, then her words came. “Every night as my mother put me to bed she’d tell me that she loved me and I’d say I loved her, too. When I was six, she died. My father was a cold man and I wanted him to hold me and tell me he loved me. He said there was no such thing as love and I was never to say the word again. As I got older, I realized he was just hurting because his wife had died, but still, the damage was done. I couldn’t say those words—not even when my sons were born. I was afraid they’d be taken from me, too. I know that’s crazy because I’ve lost Drew and I never told him I loved him. I—I…never…” She sobbed loudly into her handkerchief.
Dan got up and knelt by her chair. “Muriel, look at me.”
She raised her tear-stained face.
“I married you because I loved you and when you wouldn’t say those words, it almost killed me.”
“You loved me?”
“Yes. If I didn’t want to marry you, I could have changed my father’s mind. I actually gave him the idea because I grew tired of trying to get your attention. The question is, how do you feel about me?”
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Sarah got up and left the room, but not before she heard Muriel’s choked, “I—I…love you.”
Sarah waited outside the door. Since everyone had gone home, the offices were quiet and empty. She glanced at her watch. Ten minutes. She wanted to give them all the time they needed. She never dreamed that with a little pushing so much emotion could erupt. Muriel had been suppressing destructive feelings for so long that it was way past time.
She could only imagine Daniel’s childhood, but then, hers hadn’t been idyllic, either. Everyone needed a deep, binding family love and she vowed that when Daniel came back she was going to say those words to him every day. First, he had to come home.
Finally they came out of the room. Muriel wasn’t crying anymore; her eyes were sparkling with happiness as she stared up at her husband.
“Thank you, Sarah,” Dan said. “Muriel and I are going home.”
“I’m going to fix my husband dinner,” Muriel said in a proud tone. “I used to make a good omelet.”
“Could we come back tomorrow?” Dan asked.
Sarah was taken aback. “You mean, as clients?”
“Yes. Muriel and I need to keep talking.”
“You both could benefit from marriage counseling. I’ll see if Dr. Mason can fit you in.”
“No, Sarah, please,” Muriel pleaded. “I’d feel more comfortable talking to you.”
Sarah hesitated. She was closely involved with their son and they needed therapy from someone who—
“I’m sorry for my crassness,” Muriel’s voice cut through her thoughts. “I think you’re a beautiful, courageous young woman and I apologize for my rudeness to you.”
“Please, Sarah.” Dan added his pleading.
She found she couldn’t say no. These were the parents of the man she loved. “If you come tomorrow at four, I’ll be glad to help you.”
“Thank you.” Muriel smiled.
“We’ll see you then,” Dan called as they walked away arm-in-arm.
Sarah went home feeling better than she had in a very long time. If only Daniel was here. Please come home, Daniel.
ONE MORNING when she went in to work, Russ was waiting in her office.
“Russ,” she said, startled.
“Have you heard from Daniel?” he asked.
“No, not a word.” She laid her purse and briefcase on the desk.
“Boyd’s execution is on Wednesday. I thought you might have heard from him.”
“No.”
“Since Daniel’s not here, I’d take you if you wanted to go.”
She bit her lip to still the agitation in her. “Thank you, Russ. I appreciate it, but I was notified and I declined. It’s not something I really want to witness.”
“I understand. Just thought I’d make the offer.” Russ fidgeted and she’d never seen him do that in all the years she’d known him. He was always very self-assured.
“Is there another reason you stopped by?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets and the toothpick slid to the other side of his mouth. “I, uh, been talking to my ex. She heard about the shooting on the news and that I was involved and she called. We’ve been talking without the anger and the tension.”
“That’s very good,” Sarah said.
“You see, the big problem in our marriage was my job. She said I brought it home and she wanted us to go to counseling together. I flatly refused. A real man doesn’t need counseling. He can solve his own problems.”
“Have you changed your mind?” She had a feeling that this was the reason Russ was here.
“I see death every day and sometimes it’s hard to shake. That’s not easy for me to admit, but I want to kiss my child good-night and see her shining face in the morning. And when I’ve witnessed a horrifying death, I want to hold my wife at night. I’m tired of being alone. I want my family back. If I have to go to counseling to accomplish that, then I’ll do it.” He glanced at her. “I think I can talk comfortably to you.”
“Russ Devers, you’ve shattered all my illusions.”
He grimaced. “Thought that would make your day.”
“I’d be glad to help you and your wife,” she told him, amazed he trusted her so much. “Have your wife make an appointment.”
He let out a long breath. “Thank you.” Then his eyes narrowed. “You won’t try to change me, will you?”
She hid a secret smile. “Outwardly, no. I’ll leave that to your wife. Inwardly, maybe a little.”
“Daniel said I needed an attitude adjustment.”
This time she grinned. Daniel had influenced a lot of the people he’d worked with and hearing his name was uplifting. “The fact that you’re willing to try means a lot.”
“Thanks, Sarah.” Russ moved to the door. “I’m going to call my ex and maybe soon she won’t be my ex anymore.”
At the door he stopped. “If you change your mind about Wednesday, just let me know.”
She didn’t. On Wednesday evening she turned her radio on at the appointed time. She just wanted to know it was over. She listened carefully. “At six-seventeen Central Standard Time, Rudy Boyd was pronounced dead.”
The words did not generate a good feeling. They made her sick—too much hate, pain and suffering in the world. There was nothing good about that.
DANIEL LANDED IN Corpus Christi, Texas, rented a Jeep and headed for the coastline. This is where he and Drew went fishing, from the beaches of Padre Island to the bays of Rockport, Aransas Pass, Matagorda Bay and Port O’Connor. It was just the two of them being brothers, doing fun stuff. All the times they’d been here and he’d never seen any signs of Drew’s drug use. Or maybe he hadn’t wanted to.
He glanced at his watch and turned on the radio. He was well aware of what day it was and when he heard the news of Boyd’s death, he felt no victory. Death was never a victory. As Ethan had said, though, his reign of terror and violence was now over, but the aftermath of Bo
yd would be with everyone for a long time to come.
He was sure Sarah had heard the news and he should drive straight to Dallas to be with her. In his condition, though, he wasn’t any good to her…or himself. Here, where he’d spent time with Drew, he hoped to find the forgiveness he needed. For it was clear to him now that Sarah was right. He needed forgiveness—from himself. He yearned for it, struggled for it, yet he was still bound by guilt and pain.
FINALLY THE MOVE OUT of the house was complete. Gran was at the retirement villa and Sarah was settled into a town house. Gran, Serena and Sarah said a poignant goodbye to the old house, but a family with four children had bought it and they knew that happy laughter would soon fill its walls. They were content with the arrangement.
Sarah saw the Garretts regularly and she was amazed at the change in both of them. They were like two teenagers finding love for the very first time and it was fun for Sarah just to watch them. They were always touching each other. Muriel had taken up cooking and Dan teased her about her efforts. She also started playing golf so she could go with Dan when he played. The earlier resentment was gone and they were trying to be a family.
They talked a lot about Daniel, and Sarah enjoyed those times. Talking about Drew wasn’t so easy, but they decided they wanted to build a memorial for him. They were undecided, though, of exactly what and they wanted Daniel’s input. They needed him to come home.
She did, too.
DANIEL SAT ON THE DOCK in Rockport, Texas, watching the boats come in from a day of fishing. Life went on, people around him seemed busy. This was the way it should be. Then why did he still feel like crap?
He swung to his feet and walked across the street to a restaurant. He headed for the bar and sat on a stool.
“Scotch, neat,” he said when a waitress asked.
She set the drink in front of him and walked away. The bar was dimly lit and some music played in the background, but all Daniel was aware of was the big knot in his stomach.
“Mr. Garrett, is that you?”
Daniel raised his head to stare at a familiar face. Leo Thayer, the owner of the restaurant, smiled at him. He and Drew had come in here many times to eat and to get a beer and had become friends with Leo.