But Logan was turning his back on family, too. Grace would give almost anything to have brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. He had that and was pushing them away, refusing to give his cousins a chance, and her heart just ached for him. Not just him—Cassie, too. She deserved a chance to know them.
He was hurting himself even more, and she just couldn’t stand that. Grace was going to do something. And it would start with father/daughter bonding that didn’t involve sitting in a dark movie theater where talking was frowned on.
Chapter Eleven
Logan got up for work every morning at about the same time as God, but it would be a miracle if God made coffee. So why did he smell it on the way downstairs?
He walked into the kitchen, and the mystery was solved. “Grace. What are you doing up?”
“We need to talk.”
Those four words struck fear into the soul of every man who heard them. Logan was no exception. “Can it wait until later? I really have to—”
“No. It can’t wait. And you’re probably going to want coffee first. Can I fix you some eggs or pancakes?”
That was a hard decision. He really liked her cooking, but if the price for eating was hearing something he wouldn’t like, it might not be worth a pancake party in his mouth.
“I’ll just have coffee,” he said.
“Okay.” She wrapped her hands around the steaming mug on the table in front of her.
Logan couldn’t help noticing that she was still dressed for bed with a short, satiny robe over her pajamas. His fingers tingled and palms itched to touch her bare skin. The devil of it was, he could have her. He knew it based on the way he caught her looking at him sometimes. But one of them had to be strong, and it looked like that chore fell to him. Because he didn’t want to have Grace on his conscience.
He poured coffee and joined her at the table. Might as well get this over with. “What’s on your mind? Must be important for you to get up this early to ambush me.”
She ignored the ambush crack. “It’s about Cassie.”
Fear sliced through him for a second. “Is she all right?”
“She’s fine. I didn’t want her to overhear this conversation.”
“Why?”
“Because it might upset her.”
“But you don’t mind upsetting me.” He blew on the top of his steaming mug, then took a sip. “Am I supposed to know what you’re getting at?”
“I guess I’m stalling. You’re not going to like it. But I feel very strongly about this, Logan, and I absolutely can’t let it slide—”
“Grace—your point?”
“Okay.” She took a deep breath and met his gaze. “I think you should teach Cassie how to ride a horse.”
“You’re right.”
“I am?” She blinked at him in surprise.
“I don’t like it. And my answer is still the same. Not until she’s older.”
Grace’s chin lifted, a tell that her stubbornness was kicking in. “I don’t care whether or not you like it or what your answer still is. Cassie wants to ride, and no one is more qualified than you to teach her.”
Logan studied her. Last night when he and Cass got back from the movie, he’d sensed something different in Grace. She’d looked either sad or angry or both and then seemed to make up her mind about something that she was wrestling with. Apparently that something was this.
“I think that decision is one that should wait until her mom is home,” he argued.
“I disagree. You’re her father and have every right to choose a healthy activity while Cassie is in your care.”
“And I’m choosing the healthiest alternative, which is not to teach her.” Logan could see why Grace didn’t want his daughter around for this talk, and he appreciated her sensitivity. This would be so much worse if he was fighting Cassie, too.
“Logan, it would be good for so many reasons. One of the most important would be to bring the two of you closer.”
He had a stubborn streak of his own going on and dug into it. “We’re just fine.”
“Are you really?” The look in her eyes said she didn’t think so. “That’s a debate for another time. What’s relevant to this conversation is that I’m willing to go to the mat on this.”
“What does that mean?” he asked warily.
“I think teaching your daughter about riding a horse is so important that you’ll have to fire me to get me to drop it.”
He hadn’t expected that, and from somewhere deep inside him he felt a resounding no. He didn’t want her to go. “Why is this so important to you?”
“Because I know what it’s like not to have a father.”
“Cassie has me,” he argued.
“Does she really, though?”
He didn’t want to think too much about that and how close to right she was. There had to be a way to change her mind about this crazy idea. “If you go, what happens to the down payment for your house?”
“I’ve waited this long. I can wait a bit longer. But Cassie will only be little for a short time.” Then a gleam stole into her eyes. “If I quit, you’d be forced to bring your daughter to work with you. Or not work at all, and we both know that can’t happen. So, I’d like to be a fly on the wall and see you handle that.”
“You don’t think I can replace you?”
“Maybe. But in the meantime your carefully controlled life would be disrupted and you would be forced to spend time with her that isn’t structured. That wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
Yes, it would, he thought. Control equaled safety, and Grace had just held a match to the fuse of his carefully ordered life. Neither choice was good, and he wouldn’t risk a bluff. After thinking it over, he figured ten minutes of a riding lesson was the least-bad option. Letting Grace go wasn’t happening, and he flatly refused to even think about why he felt so strongly about that.
“Okay,” he finally said. “You win.”
“No. Cassie does. She’s going to be so excited when I tell her. What time should I bring her down to the corral?”
“So we’re doing this today?”
“You didn’t really think I was going to put it off, did you?” She gave him a wry look.
“A guy can hope.” He thought about his work schedule for the day. “Late afternoon would be best. And the horses are less frisky than early in the morning.”
“Okay. Thank you, Logan.”
The approval in her smile was almost worth the anxiety he felt about going against his instincts on this. He really hoped he didn’t regret giving in to her extortion.
So, he went about his workday hoping the early morning scene in his kitchen had been a dream. At about four o’clock Logan had proof it wasn’t. He saw Grace first. She was trying to keep up with his daughter, who was running toward him. Even from here he could see the look of pure joy on her face and wanted to keep it there forever.
“Daddy!” She came to a screeching halt on the other side of the fence from him and started climbing. When she got to the top, he lifted her down inside the corral. “Is that my horse?”
He glanced at the saddled pony standing patiently beside him. The animal was small and not so young anymore. He was well trained and mellow.
“Yes. This guy is Chocolate.”
“Like candy. I like it,” she said.
“Me, too.” Grace arrived a second or two later. She stood on the bottom slat of the fence, looking at the dark brown horse. “Looks like a very serene fellow.”
“He is.” Logan met her gaze from beneath the brim of his Stetson. “You should come and meet him up close and personal.”
“If you want moral support, all you have to do is ask.” She climbed the fence and swung a shapely leg over the top, preparing to descend into the enclosure.
Logan couldn’t resist the chance to touch
her. He put his hands at her waist to lift her down.
“Thanks,” she said.
“Daddy, I’m petting Chocolate. Is this the right way?”
For a split second he’d forgotten she was there. This was off to a bad start. “That’s good, Cass. Let him get used to you.”
“I want to sit on him.” She looked up as if Logan had all the answers. “How do I get up there?”
This was the part he dreaded. No matter how small and calm the horse he’d chosen, his daughter was smaller and just the opposite of calm. On the animal’s back was a long way down for her.
“When you get big enough, you put your foot in the stirrup, hold on to the saddle horn and pull yourself up.”
“When will I be big enough?”
“Ten, maybe.”
“But I want to ride today.” She stuck her lip out in the beginning of a pout.
“I bet your dad is planning to lift you up.” Grace gave him a look that said “nice try, but you’re not getting out of this.”
“So, you really want to sit on him?” Logan asked.
“Yes!”
“Okay.” He swung her into his arms and settled her in the saddle before handing her the reins. “First-time riders usually hold them too high. Just rest your hands on the saddle horn. If you lift them, Chocolate will think you’re giving him a command. Or the movement can pull on the bit in his mouth and hurt him.”
“I would never hurt him, Daddy,” Cassie said sincerely.
“I know you wouldn’t,” he assured her. “Now sit up straight. Don’t slouch.”
“Does she need to grip with her knees and thighs?” Grace asked a little anxiously.
“You’ve been watching too many Westerns.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Clenching is tiring for the rider and can send a wrong signal to the horse, a cue to move forward that you didn’t mean. Riding is more about balance than grip.”
“Oh.”
He showed Cassie how to sit up straight by making an invisible straight line from her ear, down her shoulder, leg and heel. “Now we’ll go once around the paddock.”
Logan had trained this horse himself, so when he moved, Chocolate did, too. They walked slowly and he was right there, his hand resting on the saddle, ready to grab Cass if she started to slide off. Circuiting the corral was the longest few minutes of his life. And he kept calling out pointers. Sit up straight. Lower your hands. Don’t pull too hard on the reins. Watch where you’re going.
When they got back to where Grace was standing, he figured that was enough. He’d promised a riding lesson and delivered.
He started to lift her off. “Okay, kiddo. Great job.”
“No, Daddy, that wasn’t long enough. I want to ride more.”
Logan sighed. He didn’t have the heart to end it before she was ready, and from the smug look on Grace’s face, this scenario wasn’t a surprise to her. She’d been counting on it when she got him to agree to a lesson. So, for the next hour he walked his daughter around and around while she chattered away. Over and over she thanked him and said how much she loved Chocolate.
Logan didn’t have a lot of good childhood memories, but one of the best was the first time his grandfather put him on a horse and took him riding. His butt hurt, but seeing the land that had been in his family for generations was worth the discomfort. He’d felt connected to something in a deeply profound way. And as he looked at the happiness on his child’s face, he wondered if he’d worn the same joyful expression during his first riding lesson.
Grace was leaning against the fence, watching the whole experience, and looked pleased with what was going on. Logan liked that a whole lot better than disappointment. Most of all, he was glad she hadn’t quit, and not just because of child care.
“Daddy, I wanna make Chocolate go fast.”
Logan hadn’t realized the horse shifted a few feet away. When Cassie called out, she pulled his attention back but not in time. She’d lifted her hands holding the reins and yanked the bit in the horse’s mouth. He danced sideways unexpectedly, and Cassie slid off to the side. There was a sickening thump just before she cried out.
He rushed to her, and Grace was right behind him. “Cassie?”
She was holding her arm and crying. “Daddy—”
“Baby, you’re okay.” But he was afraid to touch her.
Oh, God, this was his worst nightmare. He’d wanted more than anything to be wrong, but he wasn’t. As expected, she’d gotten hurt because of him.
* * *
Logan forced himself to drive the speed limit from the ranch into town. He was taking Cassie to the medical clinic where his sister worked as a nurse practitioner. In the corral, Grace had calmed the little girl down, but she wouldn’t let either of them check out her arm. No one except Aunt Jamie could look at it. So he’d scooped her up and put her in the truck.
Now the three of them were moving at what felt somewhere in the neighborhood of slow as molasses. He desperately wanted to put the pedal to the metal, but he kept glancing at the rear seat, where Grace was buckled in beside Cassie’s car seat.
“How are you, baby girl?”
“Okay.” There were tears in her voice.
“How’s the arm?”
“Sore.”
“Can you move it?” he asked for the umpteenth time.
“I don’t want to.” The tone was just south of another meltdown. “It will hurt if I do.”
“You don’t have to, sweetie.” Grace’s voice was gentle and calm. “I’m sure it’s fine, but your aunt Jamie can tell us for sure. Your daddy will have you at the clinic in no time. He’s doing such a great job of driving safely.”
For a brief moment, Logan met her gaze in the rearview mirror. That was her way of letting him know that she understood what it was costing him not to drive like a bat out of hell.
“Another few minutes,” he said. “I called and Aunt Jamie will be waiting for us.”
“Okay.”
It was five minutes but felt like five years before he pulled into the Mercy Medical Clinic parking lot. After turning off the truck, he got out and opened the passenger door. Grace had already released the car seat restraints and he lifted Cassie out, taking care not to jostle her injured arm. They headed for the clinic entrance, and his sister was true to her word.
“Hi, sweetheart,” she said to her niece. “Come with me.”
Logan barely noticed the waiting room. He just concentrated on the back of his sister’s blue scrubs as he followed her down a brightly lit hallway with shiny linoleum floors and into an exam room. He started to lower her gently to the paper-covered table, but she resisted.
“No, Daddy. Don’t put me down.”
“You sit on the table, Logan,” Jamie said. “Just hold her on your lap.”
He did as instructed. “Okay.”
“I need to look at your arm, honey. Can you be brave for me?”
Cassie’s bottom lip quivered, but she nodded. “Yes.”
Jamie gently took her little arm and straightened it. “Does that hurt?”
“Not much.”
“It’s scraped, but we’ll clean that up.” She probed carefully, checking out the shoulder, elbow, wrist and all the areas in between. “Where does it hurt, honey?”
“All over.” She sniffled.
Jamie looked at him. “I don’t see swelling or anything obvious, but there could be a hairline fracture. The only way to know for sure is to x-ray it. And I know it will drive you nuts if there’s any doubt.”
“Will it hurt?” Cassie asked. “I don’t like shots.”
“I don’t either,” Jamie told her. “X-rays are just pictures of the bone in your arm. It won’t hurt. I promise.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll take her to Radiology,” Jamie said. “A few years ago we’d have sent you to the
hospital an hour away, but the clinic is much better equipped now. And we’re not that busy today, so it won’t take too long. Why don’t you wait here?”
“Is that okay with you, Cass?” he asked her.
“Yes. Aunt Jamie will take good care of me.”
“The best,” she confirmed. “Sit tight, honey. I’m going to get a special chair for you.” She left the room and was back moments later with a children’s-sized wheelchair. “Your coach awaits, Princess.”
Logan stood with her in his arms and set her carefully on the seat. “Grace and I will wait right here for you, baby girl.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Back in a jiffy,” Jamie said.
Logan stared at the doorway after his daughter was wheeled away and kicked himself six ways to Sunday. “This is all my fault.”
“Define this.” Grace was sitting in a visitor’s chair against the wall.
“This. Being here.” He indicated the medical exam room. “She fell off a horse because of me.”
“First of all, your sister didn’t seem all that concerned after looking at Cassie’s arm.”
Logan started pacing. “She’s taking an X-ray.”
“I sensed that was more about putting your mind at ease.” Grace crossed one slender leg over the other. “I was watching her face when Jamie flexed her arm. Not even a flicker of discomfort.”
“But she fell off the horse. That’s on me,” he insisted.
“I would think that a fall comes with the territory when you’re learning to ride. Hence the saying that if you fall off a horse you have to get right back on.” But there was a guilty expression on her face. “And if anyone is to blame for this, it’s me.”
“Why? You didn’t push her off the horse.”
“Neither did you. But I pushed you into putting her on it in the first place. You probably should fire me after all. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
That was like a bucket of cold water over his head. Fire her? As she’d pointed out, if she left he would be on his own. “So you think it was wrong to teach her to ride?”
Just What the Cowboy Needed Page 14