Surprisingly, the thought of it didn’t trouble me now as it would have before. I realized that he was part of it too. He was the one who made me feel this way. Without him, I would have been feeling lonely, rejected by everyone and outright miserable right now. Who was I to hog all this great feeling? Affection was there to share. In fact it was hard to keep it all to myself when it surged out of my heart, flooding me with warmth and pleasure as it did now. Spurred by the realization of it, I turned around to face him.
“Can you see it, Sytrius?” I asked, unable to hide my excitement, eager to share it with him.
“Yes, I see it.” His lips parted in a half-smile. The warmth I felt was reflected in his eyes too. “It’s the most beautiful feeling that I have ever seen, Alyssa.”
“Take it. It’s yours,” I said, smiling wide as if I had just given him a Christmas present.
He hesitated, looking like he was waging a war with himself.
“There is the slight glow underneath, the colour of your desire…”
“Take it,” I interrupted him, unwilling to spoil the moment.
Most of my emotions now must have been tinted with my desire for him. I couldn’t help it, and neither could he. I could no longer enforce the restrictions I had placed on him in regards to my sexual energy, because everything about him, even his mere presence, made me simmer in lust in one way or another most of the time. He would starve before he untangled and separated the horny mess I had turned into inside.
“Take it, Sytrius.” I sighed resolutely. “You caused it – it’s all yours to take.”
He kept looking at me for another second. I knew now that it was his way to make sure I meant what I offered. Instead of asking “Are you sure?” like humans would, he searched inside me for any doubts. I let him search because I knew he’d find none.
Finally, the white-blue lights sparkled in his eyes. I noticed a warm orange glow mixed in with them this time, before he closed his eyes and threw his head back, his face raised upwards. The hairbrush felt out of his hand, he staggered forward a step and he grabbed my shoulders to steady himself.
For a moment, I was worried that he would fall and would take me down with him. Yet, he remained standing as he pulled me into himself and wrapped both arms around me tightly. I heard him whisper into my hair what sounded like a set of monosyllables at first before I managed to distinguish the words: “…beautiful… sweet… so… so good… intoxicating…” Then I felt a kiss placed into the hair somewhere just above my ear and the reverent “Alyssa…” fell off his lips in a whisper.
I didn’t expect such a strong reaction and I lifted my head, trying to see his face. The wonder and reverence of his words were reflected on his face too.
I smiled at him. “Was it that good?”
He smiled back at me, a beautiful happy smile.
“The best!”
As tired as I was that night, sleep didn’t come easily to me. I went to bed alone while Sytrius remained sitting at the table by the window, doing something on his cell phone and looking outside the window now and then.
The thoughts of what was next wouldn’t leave me alone. Returning to Toronto would only put me back where I was abducted from in the first place. Sytrius was right: it would make it easy for the Council to pick me up right where they found me a year and three months ago.
I couldn’t go to the police. It would be like giving myself up to the Council. Even if the police themselves were duped by the cover-up of my kidnapping, I would still expose myself to whoever was responsible for faking my death.
There was no way I could involve any of my unsuspecting friends into this either. Not only would they be powerless to help me if there were some higher authorities involved, but they would also put themselves into jeopardy if they tried.
Leaving the country looked like a slightly better option, even though I had no ID and would need a passport to cross the border. My mom’s brother, Sarah’s dad, was still living in the United States. After the phone call with Jim, I was not very optimistic in my expectations of my family members. My uncle was older, more pragmatic and less emotional than Sarah and Jim. Surely he would believe that I was alive, especially when he saw me in flesh and blood with his own eyes. What would happen then? Could he protect me literally from an army of demons?
Maybe the Council would give up eventually? How long can they hunt one woman? Didn’t Sytrius say that there were new ones delivered annually? I shuddered thinking about the poor unsuspecting young women going about their lives somewhere this very moment, only to be plucked out from the world they lived in and hauled into the arena, never to be seen by their friends and families again.
These could not only be Canadian women either. The Council must have enough reach to collect their Sources from all over the world or at least from all over the western hemisphere. I couldn’t think about it though… Not now… Maybe some day...
What if I also went to Europe? It was reasonable to assume that the Council would give up looking for me faster if I moved farther from Western Base.
My family was originally from Belarus after all. True, I had no one left there now, as both sets of my grandparents passed away long ago. I also only spoke a few words of Russian and none of Belorussian. Frankly, what little I knew about the country of Belarus didn’t sound very enticing... But if I could be safe there… It would all be worth it.
Should I ask Sytrius to take me with him? He had not offered it himself, and there may be some good reasons for it. After all, I have been depending on him for every single thing since we left the base. There was also my lack of an ID to deal with… I just would be putting more of my problems on him when he obviously needed to sort his own “demon” problems out…
Plagued by my thoughts, I turned and tossed in bed for a while. Having Sytrius sitting at the table looking wide-awake was unnerving. I figured it might help me fall asleep if he also at least pretended to sleep. Would it be too awkward if I asked him to join me in bed? Eventually, I gave up and decided to ask him straight out.
“Sytrius.” I called. “You said you would lie down at night sometimes to preserve your energy?”
“Yes. But it’s not necessary, I don’t sleep.”
“Can you lie down in bed, though? It keeps me up, somehow, that you are awake. I think…”
He looked at me for a few seconds, searching for my true motives, possibly? I knew I couldn’t hide anything from him, so I let him look at me in silence. There must still be some sexy feelings for him inside of me somewhere, but I was sure he would see that I was mostly very tired and desperate for some sleep.
“You can keep your clothes on if it’d make you feel better,” I offered, breaking the silence. “I swear I won’t attack you at night,” I promised with a bright smile.
He just nodded and got under the covers with me, leaving his clothes on, as I suggested: pants, t-shirt and the ever-present gloves.
Having him close to me was beyond comforting, and I was glad that I asked him to join me. After months spent sleeping alone on the worn mattress on top of the concrete floor, lying in the soft bed pressed against his large, warm, relaxed body, safely cradled in his arms, felt like heaven.
If I were a cat, I would have been purring so loud right now! All by-the-hour visitors of the motel would have needed earplugs themselves!
I knew he wasn’t sleeping, but he wasn’t trying to fall asleep in the first place, which made a huge difference. He didn’t turn, toss or sigh out loud in frustration. He simply held me to his chest, his eyes closed and his breathing deep and even. This was how I ended up drifting asleep in the end, wrapped in his scent and body, listening to his measured calming breaths.
That was, possibly, why I had the dream I had later that night…
Chapter Twenty One. The Dream.
My mother always believed that our subconscious communicated with us through the dreams we had at night. She stopped short of using dreams to look into the future but firmly believed that we
could see at night the things we miss while distracted by life through the day.
In this way, she believed that every dream had a meaning. She believed that dreaming of water, for example, was a reflection of our life the way it currently was. Dreaming of being lost in the deep turbulent water meant that our current life was just as intimidating and out of our control.
So, when I thought about it later, I was not surprised that my first dream that night was of me fighting enormous waves of a powerful dark tsunami sweeping me out to sea with the shore no longer in sight.
I struggled to stay afloat, spitting out the water that got up my nose and into my mouth, knowing that it was just a matter of minutes now – if not seconds – until I was pulled under the strong current with my lungs finally crushed.
My chest hurt from the swallowed water and from the panic compressing it… I tried to scream for help, but the water was in the way blocking my mouth, filling my lungs…
“Shhhh,” I heard somewhere above me, like a calming whisper of a breeze. “Hush, Alyssa. It’s just a dream.”
Just a dream… I felt my fingers cling to something strong and solid, like a rock in the current. Something or somebody, who held me close and kept me safe as the water receded. Just a dream… I repeated in my head, diving deeper into sleep again…
This time, it was dark and cool. I walked through a large long cave inside of a mountain. A dancing orange light came from torches placed in iron holders along the walls.
I was barefoot, but my footsteps still echoed loudly through the cave. I had only a white, sleeveless, sheer dress on me with a shimmering train as long as I could see trailing along the dirt floor behind me. Finally, I came to a large slab of rock placed on the floor in the middle of a spacious cave. It was up to my waist in height and long enough for me lo lay on. A piece of blood-red velvet was draped over it, spilling to the dirt floor below. Torches were lit in metal holders all around it. It looked like an altar or a place of sacrifice… Mysterious, forbidding, scary…
I didn’t remember getting onto the rock, but, suddenly, I found myself lying on my back on top of it, with my hands stretched above my head. The sheer material of my long dress cascaded in waves off the rock and all around it, glittering in the flickering light of the torches.
I was not bound in any way. Neither my arms nor my ankles were in cuffs, and I was not in the arena, but the situation reminded me of the demon prison I had just escaped. What I felt at the realization was not what I would have expected. The feeling of anticipation took over me, flooding me with warm tingling excitement.
My life in confinement was highly sexualized. With few exceptions, I was brought to orgasms nightly. Now I had been travelling with the man who was sex personified to me, and I had been almost constantly turned on in his presence without getting any release for almost two days.
Lying on the bed of rock inside a cave lit by torch fire, not burdened by worries of the day… my body caught on fire instantaneously!
Fear and lust raged in my body simultaneously, fighting each other and igniting each other at the same time… I closed my eyes and arched my back, stretching from my fingers to my toes… Sweet sensation ran through me and warmed my blood…
With my eyes closed, I suddenly felt hands of strangers reaching out to me from the darkness, touching me, stroking, caressing. So many hands of too many people, people I couldn’t see and didn’t want to know. The thought of a sacrifice came into my mind again. Was that what I was here for? To be sacrificed to these strange beings? For them to use me? To consume me?
Fear was beginning to overpower my pleasure now…
No, it could still be good, I thought, desperately holding on to the remnants of sweetness. It could still turn into something wonderful. He was the one, the only one, who made the fear go away and the pleasure grow… Always.
“Sytrius,” I moaned into the night.
He lay in the night, her body pressed to his, his mouth buried in her hair on top of her head, his eyes closed… The temptation of her arousal was enveloping him, pulling him in. He kept his eyes closed to avoid seeing the waves of hot crimson light emitting from her and pulsing around them.
Closing his eyes, however, didn’t stop him from feeling her desire for him swirling around, enticing, calling...
She was deep asleep… Would she let him skim her sexual desire if she were awake?
No, he could fight it. He had unbreakable self-control. After all, he was chosen to be a Handler because of it. He just had to focus on something else and wait…
…And then she summoned him in her sleep. Her call entered his mind like a bright tunnel of light: powerful, unstoppable and impossible to disobey.
Sytrius…
He knew he stood no chance the second he felt it.
She called him. His resistance broken, he surrendered to her pull…
“Sytrius!” I called again louder.
“I’m here,” came his answer from somewhere just in front of me. His voice was soft and low with the velvet undertones that turned me on before he even touched me. I opened my eyes.
The hands of strangers disappeared… He was standing in front of the rock slab now, dressed as he was when he went to bed, in a black t-shirt and army-green cargo pants. Except that his combat boots were also on now.
His arms were stretched along his sides with the gloved hands clenched into fists, betraying his tension, but his voice was calm, almost serene.
“I’m here, Alyssa,” he repeated even softer.
I sat up on my rock bed and pulled my knees to my chest, hugging them close. I reminded myself that it was just a dream. I could relax and pretend anything I wished without worrying about how awkward the morning after would be. I could have everything I wanted here, without restraint, everything I didn’t dare to have in reality.
“I want you, Sytrius,” I said tentatively; even in my own dream I was still afraid.
“As you wish.” He took a step forward, placed his hands on the edge of the rock I was sitting on and leaned towards me. “It’s your dream; you are the mistress here. Just say what you want…” His face was so close to mine. His lips were just inches away from mine. His eyes held mine prisoners.
He was right, though. Here, I was the mistress!
“I want to see you naked. Take your clothes off, Sytrius.” If I could have anything at all, I wished to see him in all his naked glory.
He tilted his head to the side, amusement flickered in his eyes, and he smiled that wide dazzling smile of his at me. Breath caught in my chest, and my heart skipped when he pushed himself off the rock with both arms and took a step back, ripping his t-shirt off over his head before I could blink.
My eyes opened wide at the sight of his strong torso, taking him in with admiration. His hands moved to the belt buckle next, unfastening it and pulling the zipper down, before I hurriedly raised my hand, stopping him from going any further.
“Slow down! Please…” I breathed out.
His smile went even wider, and the dimples came out to play on his cheekbones as he moved his hands away, spreading them to the side, palms facing me in a pacifying gesture.
“As you wish,” he repeated then lowered his head in a half-bow and clasped his hands behind his back, exposing his bare chest for me to stare at to my heart’s content.
It’s just a dream, I repeated in my head and shamelessly slid my gaze from his broad shoulders to the hard planes of his chest, down along the defined ridges of his abdomen and, finally, to the chiseled V-shaped muscles of his lower stomach that disappeared into the unfastened cargo pants, sitting low on his hips with the zipper undone.
With his head tilted slightly, he watched me as I took in his body. Suddenly, he took a small step forward, lifted his leg up, and put the booted foot on the edge of the rock altar right on the hem of my long dress draped over the red velvet. I gasped in surprise and lurched back, but the dress was trapped under his boot and held me in place.
He leaned forward
, and I found myself staring into his eyes again, unable to escape his gaze. His face was lit up with amusement and his eyes glowed with glee. Whatever lingering awkwardness or apprehension I still had, he felt none of it. He was confident, relaxed and enjoying himself. A demon at play, an incubus in his element. A leopard in the wild…
My heart fluttered inside like a bird in a cage expecting to fly free any moment.
His hands were unfastening the boot buckles and untying the laces in front of me now. His strong shoulders bulged forward, and I watched, mesmerized, as the muscles of his shoulders and upper arms rolled under his tanned skin with each of his movements.
His sandy-coloured hair fell over his forehead, and I caught him watching me from behind the silky strands before he pushed himself away from the rock and removed the foot from my dress then replaced it with the other foot, in order to unbuckle it too.
With both boots open, he stepped back again and kicked them off, one after another, while his hands went back to the waistband of his cargo pants. Without warning, he pulled the pants down, taking the boxers underneath with them, and was now standing in front of me wrapped only in the warm glow of the torchlight dancing on his golden skin, like a classic marble statue in all his glory and perfection. Wide shoulders, narrow hips, long muscular legs, full erection strong and proud rising from the mass of brown curls between his powerful thighs.
Enthralled, I moved forward with my arm outstretched towards his chest, reaching for him, eager to touch him now, unrestrained and free. He was all mine for as long as the dream would last.
“Come here,” I whispered, but he was already there, his smile gone, his eyes burning me inside out. He put his hands on the rock in front of me and moved onto me like a predator. I leaned back with my hands propped behind me, but he kept moving forward towards me, over me…
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