He bore down and she came. Jaw clenched, he stifled a deep groan as he surrendered to his own release. He shuddered in the grip of his orgasm then he slowly lowered his body and allowed it to rest lightly against hers.
She stroked his sweaty back. “Relax,” she crooned. “Let go.”
At last he did, nestling his body against hers. The tension slowly drained away and she thought he might be asleep, or at least dozing.
She might never have a better chance to say what was in her heart. “I love you,” she murmured softly.
He didn’t stir. He probably was asleep, and that was okay. She’d needed to say it and now she had.
Chapter Eighteen
After Geena drifted off to sleep, Matt eased away from her, took care of the condom and set the alarm on his phone. Then he gathered her into his arms and held her as he savored the words she’d spoken. He’d never forget that she’d said them, even though he wouldn’t be building dreams based on her words of love.
She might believe what she’d said, but she’d glossed over his failings because she was generous that way. Incredible sex had a way of affecting a person’s judgment. It certainly had affected his. Until the Skype call he’d thought he might have a future with her.
But he could see the situation clearly now, even if she couldn’t. He was still too mired in his toxic past to be with anyone, and letting her go was the most loving gesture he could make. Maybe someday she’d understand that he’d helped her avoid a gigantic mistake.
Exhaustion claimed them both and they slept until the alarm woke them at four. He threw on his clothes as fast as he could, but she still had to wait for him. She stood there quietly, obviously half asleep. Arms around each other, they made their way back to the house. They pulled off their boots before slipping inside and he walked her to her room.
“You’d better not come in,” she murmured.
So true. The chilly morning air had swept away his grogginess and he’d become very aware that he had a half-naked Geena beside him. “I won’t.” Silently lowering his boots to the floor, he pushed back his hat and cupped her face in both hands. “Thank you.” Before she could say anything, he kissed her gently, angling his head so he didn’t bump her glasses. He kept his passion in check as he released her.
A night-light shining in the hall bathroom revealed that he’d fogged her lenses, anyway, probably for the last time. He wanted nothing more than to follow her into that room and confess the love that made him ache in ways he’d never thought he could ache. Instead, he picked up his boots and walked away.
At his door, he glanced back to discover that she hadn’t moved. She stood exactly as he’d left her and he memorized how she looked in her Captain America sleep shirt because he’d never see her wearing it again. Slowly she raised her hand in farewell. He touched the brim of his hat. Then she turned, walked into her room and closed the door.
He knew then that she’d accepted his decision that they should end it. And why wouldn’t she? Thank you wasn’t exactly a declaration of undying love. More like good manners, and he certainly had those in spades. Her trip to the barn had been her Hail Mary pass, a final attempt to break him down.
No doubt she thought she’d failed, but she’d succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. He loved her with every ounce of his being. And she would never know.
* * *
More than once during the shooting of the video that morning, Geena mentally thanked her mother for teaching her the value of discipline and self-reliance. Inheriting some of her mother’s stubbornness hadn’t hurt anything, either. Although she’d notified everyone except Matt that she planned to leave the ranch after the video was uploaded, she wouldn’t get on a plane yet. Not until she knew he was okay.
Fortunately Drew Martinelli was a crackerjack videographer. During the filming Geena learned that the slim brunette had been a hockey star in high school because she could anticipate where the puck would be. That skill gave her a unique advantage as a videographer because she was always ahead of the action instead of following it.
Her dynamic images should accomplish exactly what Geena had hoped for, great PR for Matt and more visibility for Thunder Mountain Academy. Before the afternoon was over, Lexi and Cade had hired Drew to film their wedding. Damon and Phil had debated whether to get a professional video of Sophie at the crawling stage or wait until she was walking. They’d ended up choosing to do both and Rosie had immediately put in an order for copies.
Drew did her edits in Rosie and Herb’s office to make sure the final cut met with everyone’s approval. That created a standing-room-only situation by the time she’d finished and uploaded the video to the internet.
Later that night, Rosie had champagne and glasses ready for a celebratory toast. As the good cheer flowed around her, Geena soaked it up and reminded herself that, when it came to Matt, it wasn’t over until it was over. Scanning the crowded room, she discovered he was working his way toward her.
When he finally made it, she touched her flute to his. “Good job.” Taking a sip from her glass, she dared to look him straight in the eye for the first time since they’d started this long day. The depth of emotion she found there took her breath away. That was love, damn it, even if he’d never said so.
He continued to hold her gaze as he took a quick swallow and lowered his glass. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
She managed a smile. “True.”
“And it was generous of you to offer to be here if my mother shows up. Instead of being appreciative I was rude. I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted.”
“But the thing is...” He paused. “I really do need to handle it by myself.”
“Which is why my overnight bag is packed and ready to go.”
“Does Rosie know you’re about to leave?”
“Everybody does.” Rosie had insisted she keep the outfit she was wearing and the boots. She’d been offered a place to stay tonight at both Damon and Phil’s house and Molly and Ben’s. She’d been touched but had politely declined and chosen a hotel in Sheridan, instead. She wasn’t feeling her usual social self right now.
He gave her a long look. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” She was more okay now that he’d allowed her to see how much he cared. For a man who was used to disguising his true feelings, that was huge. “Are you?”
“I wouldn’t say that. If my birth mom’s been following my career online, she’s probably seen the video by now and will jump on the opportunity.” He took another swallow of his champagne. “Waiting to find out is...”
“Hell?”
“Pretty much.”
Geena noticed Rosie walking toward them. “The wait might be over. Here comes Rosie and she looks as if she just bit into something nasty.”
Matt sucked in a breath and set down his champagne flute. “Hey, Mom.”
“Mindy’s on the line. You can take the call in the kitchen.” Rosie’s cheeks were flushed and her eyes glittered with anger. “I was polite because you asked me to be, but it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“Thank you.” Matt gathered her close. “Love you, Mom.”
“Love you, too, son.”
When he released her, he looked over at Geena. “You aren’t going to leave right this minute, are you?”
“I’ll wait until you get back.”
“Thanks.” Giving the brim of his hat a decisive tug, he left the room.
His foster mom gazed after him. “Inviting that woman here may be exactly what he needs to do, but I don’t have to like it.”
“You certainly don’t.”
“When are you flying out?” Rosie glanced up at her. “In all the confusion I can’t remember if you told me.”
“I didn’t because I’m not flying out tomorrow.”
/>
“Oh?”
“I’ll be staying in town for a couple more days. I won’t tell him, but if at some point you think he might want to know...”
“Got it.” Rosie sighed. “That boy is crazy about you.”
“That’s what gives me hope. And I’m crazy about him, which is why I’m not going anywhere just yet.”
Approval shone in Rosie’s eyes. “I knew I liked you.”
“Same here, Rosie. I’ll never forget how you—wow, that was quick. He’s coming back already.” Her heart ached as she watched him cross the room, his back ramrod straight as if preparing himself to face a firing squad.
All light and warmth had left his expression. He’d locked his emotions away, and when he reached them he spoke with a chilling lack of inflection. “She’ll be here in the morning.”
* * *
Matt didn’t sleep much that night. He chose the barn again, which wouldn’t make sense to anyone but him. Being there sharpened the pain of Geena’s absence, but it also brought him comfort because she’d confessed her love while lying with him on this bed of straw. Saying goodbye to her had been really tough.
Wide-eyed, he waited for dawn and considered the various strategies he’d planned for dealing with his mother. So much depended on her behavior when she arrived. When the sky lightened to the color of rich cream, he saddled Navarre, left a note tacked to Navarre’s stall and rode over to his ranch. He could have asked her to meet him there instead of polluting Thunder Mountain with her presence, but instinct had warned him not to let her know about this place.
Tying Navarre to the railing again, he walked over to the grassy spot where he and Geena had made love. The grass was wet with dew and the crushed blades had mostly recovered. Even so, he imagined he could see the outline of her beautiful, naked body as she’d welcomed him into her warm embrace.
Her hairpins glinted in the soft light. He gathered them up and shoved them into his pocket. He’d decide later if returning them would be insensitive. Probably.
Next he climbed the porch steps and unlocked the front door. Two days ago he’d come through this door to the sound of Geena practicing a tap-dance routine in the master bedroom so she could perform for Rosie. Between the Skype call and working on the video, that hadn’t happened. She’d never had her riding lesson with Lexi, either.
As he roamed the empty house remembering how they’d discussed the improvements Damon and Phil could help him make, he came to a decision. He would keep this ranch because Geena believed in his ability to make a home here. Maybe someday he’d accomplish that and be the man she thought he was.
His dad and Cade were in the middle of feeding when he came back to Thunder Mountain, so he gave Navarre a quick rubdown before taking him inside for his grain and flake of hay. The ride had soothed him and he was able to return the cheerful greetings sent his way as he pitched in to do his share.
He made a quick call to Ty down in Cheyenne before breakfast. There was a legal issue concerning his mother that he needed clarified before he saw her, and Ty was able to give him a quick answer.
Being with his family helped calm him even more. He ate a little and participated in the breakfast-table conversation. Lexi had brought Ringo down to see him and Ringo had graciously agreed to sit in his lap and keep two strips of bacon from going to waste. A purring cat turned out to be a terrific stress reducer. Nobody mentioned his mother’s visit.
But later, after he’d showered and shaved and gone to wait for her on the porch, Rosie came out, although she didn’t sit down.
Immediately he stood. Rosie had taught him never to remain seated when a lady was standing.
She gazed at him, sympathy in her blue eyes and compassion in every line of her plump body. “Do you want to invite her in? I just need to know if we should clear out of the living room.”
“Mom, I don’t want her here at all, so I’m definitely not inviting her in. At one time I thought about meeting her in town, but a public place didn’t seem right. I don’t know what she’ll be like or what she’ll do.”
“I know you don’t, son. Just remember we’re here if you need backup for any reason.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He gave her a tight hug. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.” She patted his cheek. “You’ll be fine.” Then she went back inside.
He didn’t feel fine. He wished he’d taken up whittling so he’d have something to do with his hands, although in the shape he was in he’d likely maim himself with the knife.
The sound of a vehicle coming down the ranch road sent his pulse into the red zone. The engine sputtered and coughed as if it might not last long enough to make the journey. Eventually a dented pickup with a faded blue paint job pulled up in front of the ranch house.
Matt got to his feet as the passenger door opened and an overweight woman with dull brown hair slowly climbed down. He didn’t recognize her. Maybe his mother was driving the truck and this was a friend.
Then the woman took off her sunglasses and peered at him. “Matty? Is that you?”
His mother’s voice. A chill swept over him even though it was a warm day. “Yes, ma’am.” He came down the steps toward her but stopped before he was within touching distance and shoved his hands in his pockets.
He’d wondered if he’d have the urge to hug her. Nope. He might as well be meeting a complete stranger. The person he remembered had been proud of her figure and her glossy black hair. She’d been in her midthirties then, so now she’d be around fifty, but she looked much older.
Her face was puffy, which made her eyes seem smaller. They’d been dulled by age and whatever drugs she’d ingested over the years. She’d piled on the makeup, though, which only made her look worse. “Yes, ma’am, is it?” Her comment was delivered with an unbecoming sneer. “Who taught you that?”
“My mother.”
“The hell I did! You were raised to be a tough smartass! None of this yes, ma’am and no, ma’am crap.” She looked around, her avid gaze taking in the ranch house and the barn. “Looks like you had it pretty good here, though.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He felt a twinge of pity. She really was pathetic.
“Oh, cut it out, Matty. I’m not impressed. You and me, we’re poor white trash, so don’t go putting on airs. You said on the phone that you had something to discuss with me.”
“I do.”
“You implied that it involves money and I hope it does. I’m between a rock and a hard place and since you have plenty, I figure you can give your poor mother a—”
“It does involve money.” Not only was she pathetic, she was greedy. He might have made some self-centered decisions recently, but he’d never been greedy. He’d never expected a handout, either, and yet she obviously felt entitled to one.
“Okay, now we’re talkin’.”
Had she turned out to be different, he would have adjusted his plan, but after this brief exchange he knew what needed to be done. She’d given him life and he would permanently settle that debt. He was about to buy his freedom. “I’m prepared to give you a lump sum with a condition attached.”
She licked her red lips. “How much?”
He named a figure that made her eyes widen. “But, like I said, there’s a condition.”
She shrugged. “I don’t care.”
“I never want to hear from you again.” As he said it, he felt self-respect flowing back into his body.
“Matty!” Her mouth dropped open. “That’s mean.”
“No, it’s drawing boundaries. It’s self-preservation. It’s realizing that I don’t have to be defined by my past and I certainly don’t have to stay in touch with you. That’s my condition. Do you accept?”
“Sure.” But her little smile said otherwise.
“It’s important that you keep your word, because if yo
u do try to contact me, I’ll have you arrested for child abuse.”
“That’s a laugh. You can’t—”
“Turns out I can. According to one of my foster brothers, an excellent lawyer by the way, there’s no statute of limitations in Wyoming. So stay away from me or end up in jail. Your choice.”
“You are a cold person, Matty.”
“No, ma’am, I’m not. A cold person would want revenge. A cold person would have lured you here with the hint of giving you money and instead he’d have cops waiting with a warrant.”
Her gaze shifted to the front door. “You don’t have cops here, do you?”
“No. Give me your address and I’ll send you a cashier’s check.”
“Hang on.” She went back to the truck, said something to the driver and returned with a scrap of paper and a pen. She wrote the information down and handed him the paper. “I need to get going. Lenny’s tired of waitin’ on me.”
“Under the circumstances you’d think he’d put up with the inconvenience.”
She sidled close, bringing with her a whiff of cigarette smoke. “He won’t be getting a dime. Once that check arrives, I’m leaving him. There’s better out there than Lenny.” She put on her sunglasses. “So long, Matty.”
“So long.” He couldn’t bring himself to call her anything. Not Mom, for sure, but not Mindy, either. She was nothing to him.
For years she’d been a shadowy memory, a person who might have turned out to have some redeeming qualities, things he hadn’t remembered. Not really. In a world full of amazing people like his foster family and Geena, why would he waste another second on someone he was only connected to by an accident of birth?
He watched her climb laboriously into the pickup. Then he continued to stand there as the truck wheezed and clattered around the drive and onto the ranch road. He kept listening until he couldn’t hear it anymore. Gone. He sagged with relief.
On the heels of that emotion came a powerful surge of joy. He wasn’t like her at all. Instead, he was a proud member of the Thunder Mountain Brotherhood and the lucky son of Rosie and Herb Padgett. If he hadn’t completely messed things up with Geena, he might...no, that was getting ahead of himself. Anyway, because he’d asked her to leave, she’d be on a plane to Denver by now.
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