Wanting Winter

by J. L. Ostle

  My body is back to looking as it did before, I have a few scars, but you can’t really tell unless you look up closely. From eating properly, my body looks healthier. I don’t look like a corpse.

  “What are you doing in here? Why are you naked?” he asks me. I look up at him, before looking down and seeing his erection. I smile, happy that he likes what he sees. I look back up at him with innocent eyes, licking my lips. His eyes go to them. My hands go lower until I reach his dick, and taking hold if it, I rub it up and down, watching his head fall back.

  “Fuck,” he curses, his face scrunching up. I let go of him and his eyes open, watching me. I walk back until I hit the wall and I curl my finger giving him the ‘come here’ motion.

  He walks towards me, his eyes hooded.

  No one takes my power.

  I hold my own power.

  I lift my leg, wrapping it around his waist, guiding his dick inside me. I cry out in happiness that it feels good. I can feel how wet I am, and it's not from the shower.

  At least I know my vagina isn’t broken.

  I can still feel pleasure through sex.

  I dig my finger into his ass, him pressing further into me. He rams in and out. I pant and moan when that ache starts to build. I want to scream out yes, yes, yes. I touch my clit, rubbing it until I scream out my release and then he releases himself inside me.

  I smile against his shoulder, his come replacing Patrick’s.

  “What the fuck was that?” he pants looking down at me with uncertainty.

  I smile up at him and shrug. I just place my hands back on his chest, my fingers sliding along his toned stomach, telling him I liked it.

  “You know I’m with Candice.”

  I just shrug. I put my fingers in his hair, pulling him down to me, kissing him.

  He looks at me and I point to my mouth pretending to zip it up and throw away the key, even though he knows I don’t talk. Everyone at school knows I don’t talk.

  “This is messed up,” he says, but his eyes are still on me. He doesn’t make any attempt to move. I kiss him again, and he pushes me against the wall, kissing me hard. Then I push him a little, giving him a wink and a smile, and walking away from him grabbing his towel to dry myself.

  “We going to do it again?” he asks me.

  I look at him. He really is attractive, and I like knowing he isn’t a part of my group. I smile and nod and he smiles back. I walk away, getting dressed and head back to the cafeteria.

  Everyone looks at me and I use my fingers to show I went for a walk. Trent looks at me angrily, but I give him the same look back. I look to Patrick and he is observing me, I just look right at him.

  I want to scream, ‘fuck you’, but I make sure my eyes go blank, giving no indication of how I feel.

  We soon head out when we spot Candice and Neil holding hands walking towards us. I smile when I notice Neil looking at me. His eyes trail my body, remembering what we did not that long ago.

  “Hey, how’s your first day?” she asks me.

  I shrug, rolling my eyes and she chuckles.

  “Think it was good for her; she seems to have more color in her cheeks,” Trent tells her. I hate that turn of phrase now.

  “That’s good. If you need anything, just keep me posted.” She gives me a hug and I hug her back, looking at Neil as his eyes look deep into mine.

  Each day, Patrick fucks me when he knows we are alone and in doing so, I fuck Neil to balance out the power. I feel better when I fuck Neil; I feel better when I’m around Candice when Neil is close by. I feel this satisfaction. I want to keep up with feeling satisfied.

  It’s weird what you hear when you don’t talk but can only listen. This school really is a gossip mill and the things I find out, make me want to punish those who fucked with my life.

  The only way to do that is to fuck with theirs.

  I am in the girls’ changing rooms when I spot Trish, Joshua’s girlfriend. I have heard rumors that she is bisexual. She prefers girls, but she is in the closest. I know it’s bitchy of me, but I want to see how faithful she really is.

  She’s pulled something during cheerleading practice, and she has an ice pack on her leg, waving her friends goodbye as they leave her.

  I walk towards her and she smiles when she spots me. I sit next to her pointing to her leg.

  “I just hurt it. It just needs to be massaged and it should be fine,” she tells me.

  I take hold of her leg, putting it on my lap, and I start rubbing my fingers into the tightened muscle.

  “You don’t need to do that.”

  I wave her off.

  She closes her eyes and I continue rubbing up and down along her leg. I see the calm relaxed look in her face.

  I rub up higher and she doesn’t protest so I keep going until I reach her upper thighs. Her eyes remain closed and I start going back down. I swear I hear her whimper. I notice she has moved closer to me, her legs opening a little more. I go back up, closer to her pussy, and I can feel the heat radiating from her. I pretend to accidentally touch her there and then massage back down, teasing her.

  She opens her eyes and looks at me; I look at her back and see the desire in them.

  We don’t break eye contact, and when I glide my hands higher, she opens her legs a little more.

  I start rubbing over her wet panties and lean down, pushing her underwear aside, and taking a lick between her wet folds.

  She cries out.

  I have always wanted to go down on a girl to see what it is like.

  She tastes so sweet.

  I continue licking, and when I get to her clit, I suck really hard, entering two fingers inside her.

  When she screams out her release, I suck up every drop of her.

  She quickly sits up, looking shocked at herself. “We shouldn’t have done that. Oh, my god, Joshua will end it with me if he finds out.” She panics.

  I take hold of her hand pointing to my mouth shrugging.

  “That can’t happen again, Winter.” She stands up, but I quickly stand up, kissing her so she can taste herself and she kisses me back before running out of the room.

  I smile.

  People really shouldn’t fuck with me.

  It did happen again.

  I am fucking three people.

  One, I feel disgusted with, but my body seems to like Patrick when he touches it, I seem to want more, but he is losing the power: I say when it happens, well not technically as I don’t talk, but I don’t let him decide when he is going to fuck me.

  I decide.

  If we are alone, I fuck him. I hate every single minute of it; I feel sick after, but my body seems to crave for his touch, for him to hurt me, but I replace it with anger, letting the anger guide me.

  When I’m alone with Neil, I fuck him. I really enjoy fucking him. I have fucked him in his place; I have even fucked him at mine when we’ve all hung out to watch movies. Knowing that his precious girlfriend is just a few feet away turns me on even more.

  When I’m alone with Trish, I fuck her. She calls me, messages me for more, begging for me to touch her. I guess Joshua isn’t satisfying her as much as he should.

  A few weeks go on and no one seems to notice.

  Everyone is still trying to get me to talk and I have finally decided that I am ready.

  I am going to talk.

  And in the process, I will bring every fucker down.

  The school has been told to go to the gymnasium for a required assembly. I have written a note, to my parents, the police and the Dean to tell them that I am ready to talk, but that I need to do so in public, in my own way, in front of my peers.

  I am ready to gain my full power back.

  To be the new improved Winter.

  The Winter that I know the guys are going to hate.

  “Students, teachers. As you know, a student here went through something that no one should ever have to go through. She has shown such courage and bravery coming back to continue on with her life. E
ven though it has changed her, she keeps on fighting,” The Dean says. Everyone quietens, listening to see where he is going with this.

  “Are you sure you want to do this sweetie?” my mom asks me, looking at me with scared eyes, but I nod. “If you need me, I am right here.” She hugs me.

  “After months of silence, she is ready to talk, to tell us her story, so let’s hear her out.” He waves his arm out for me to come, and I take in a deep breath, walking onto the stage, seeing the whole school watching me, whispering among each other.

  I look at Trent, Candice, Drake, Joshua, Neil, and Trish who are all looking at me in shock, and it’s then that I look at Patrick.

  He looks petrified.

  I smile at his discomfort.

  He looks to the exits, but he spots the police, and when he looks back at me I just stare at him. Then smile, smirking at him.

  He shakes his head, looking angrily at me, but it’s too late.

  It’s game over for him.

  His power over me has gone.

  Like fuck will I continue being his victim.

  I clear my throat. “I am Winter Daniels.” Hearing myself talk feels weird. My throat hurts a little. “As you know, I was kidnapped, taken. I was in my home when I got raped, drugged and beaten. I was put in a dirty room, with one tiny window for light. I was lucky if I had a bottle of water and a sandwich to eat a day.” I sigh. “That light was the only thing I hung onto—hope that one day I would be free, that I would be once again out in the real world.

  “Each day that passed at the beginning, I thought it wouldn’t be long until I was found—that my friends were looking for me—but as the weeks went by, my hope died, as well as my soul. I was kicked, punched, slapped, cut, belted, whipped, you name it… He enjoyed my pain. He enjoyed my screams, my pleas.” I look to Patrick. “I kept praying it was just one big nightmare, but with each day that I opened my eyes and saw where I was, the more broken I started to become.

  “As you all know, I stopped talking. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how badly he has ruined me. Each hit, each stroke of pain, I started to get immune to. There was nothing he could do that could break me anymore. He’d already broken me. But I tried to hold onto something that he could never take, and that was my voice. My voice was mine.

  “When I was found, I thought I was finally free, but I was wrong.” I suck back the tears that want to fall. “He is still raping me,” I say, and the whole room starts talking. “He is in this room.” Everyone quietens again. “He sees me every day; he sees me trying to move on and he doesn’t like it. He wants me to stay his, but he changed me, and trust me it’s not for the better.

  “I have become angry. I hate my so-called friends. I hate them for not looking for me sooner. I hate how they have moved on, being happy with their lives when they caused nothing but pain to me. Because of them, they led a path to me, for this to happen.”

  I look to the guys. “Trent was my boyfriend. I was falling in love with him. Then he and my best friend decided to fuck behind my back. But because I haven’t been talking, I have had a chance to listen. Candice and Joshua had made a plan to break us up.” I look to them and they are looking at me in shock.

  “Joshua told Candice what to do and say and she got the guy and I end up fucking him. They broke my heart just so the star jock could fuck me, but not long after fucking him, I end up fucking with Trent’s best friend, scared I was going to lose a guy who became my best friend. However, I found out that as soon as he had fucked me, I wasn’t as shiny for him anymore and to make it worse he ended up sleeping with Candice as I was being beaten in a basement. Yet another guy Candice fucked who had meant a lot to me.”

  They start arguing amongst themselves, but I don’t stop.

  “You see, you are all poison. I am known as the Ice Queen because I wouldn’t open my legs to any guy with a pretty face, but the guys who I did open my legs to fucked me alright. They fucked me over.”

  The Dean comes over. “I don’t think this is relevant, Miss Daniels.”

  “This is all connected,” I tell him. He looks unsure but steps aside. He wants to know who my kidnapper is, that’s why he is letting me continue. “I guess now I will be called the Ice Queen for a different reason now you find out what I have been doing.” I look to each of my so-called friends. “After my rapist fucked me on my first day back here, I fucked my ex-best friend’s boyfriend. Each time I have been raped at school, I have fucked Neil to get some of my power back.

  “When you are raped, it changes you. You can become a scared little girl, but I promised myself I wouldn’t. I used all of my anger and energy and I took it out on those that deserve it. I have also been fucking Joshua’s girlfriend.”

  Joshua stands, and Trish stands, pleading to him.

  “It just shows that as long as you are good in bed, no one can be faithful. You have fucked me over, so now I have fucked you over. It's not nice is it?” I say angrily to them. “I have continued to be raped and none of you have noticed. My rapist, the guy that turned me into this cold-hearted bitch,” I look to Patrick, “is the guy I thought was my friend, once upon a time. He enjoyed having power over the girl that men in this school wanted but couldn’t have, but he felt threatened when I started fucking about. Patrick Watson is the one accountable for hurting me beyond repair.” I point to him. “He is my rapist; he is the one that turned me into this ugly person.”

  Patrick stands and tries to run away, but Trent jumps him as well as half the students.

  I stand there watching the show in front of me.

  I watch as the police climb through the crowd getting to him.

  I watch as my old friends fight amongst themselves.

  I know Patrick will be locked away.

  I have no one now, but I don’t want anyone.

  I am happy to hold onto my anger.

  Friends screw you over.

  If you screw with me, I screw you right back.

  Payback is always a bitch.

  Patrick is dragged out of the room. He looks at me with such angry eyes, and I just blow him a kiss, lifting my hand giving him the finger. I get joy knowing he won't ever see or feel a touch of a woman ever again.

  I look at Trent. He is standing there amidst the chaos around him, watching me. I look back at him and he heads my way. I don’t move. I wait to hear what he is going to say.

  When he stands in front of me, his chest is rising up and down. “It was Patrick all this time?”

  “It was,” I tell him.

  He closes his eyes shaking his head. “I should have clicked it was him. Him being jumpy, him never around, finding the photo album of you,” he tells me. “I am sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”

  I shrug. “It’s done now.”

  “You really have changed. You really did get us all back, didn’t you?”

  I look up at him. “I was sick of people walking all over me.”

  “Sweetie?” Mom comes over, hugging me. “The police need to speak to you, and me and your dad want to talk to you also,” she says with tears falling down her cheeks. I know hearing all this, what I have done, has changed her opinion on me, but I had to do it.

  “Can I meet you later?” Trent asks me.

  I look at him confused. “You still want to be with me? Even after everything I did?”

  He shrugs. “What can I say? You still fascinate me.”

  I chuckle. “You are fucked up,” I tell him.

  “Look who’s talking. I told you, nothing you can do will make me stop wanting to be with you. We all deserved what you did. We all did fuck you over in some way when all you did was be kind and sweet to us.”

  “I will message you once I have talked to the police and my parents.” I smile at him.

  “Look forward to it.” He smiles down at me. I turn, walking away when he calls out to me. I turn looking at him and he is smirking at me.

  “So are we even?” he asks me.

  “That is somet
hing you will have to find out,” I tell him.

  I will decide later if we are even. If not, I am sure I can think of something to even the score.

  At the end of the day, I am the new improved Ice Queen.

  Read on for an excerpt of

  Drawn To You

  (Lover to Stepbrother Romance)

  Excerpt - Chapter 1

  Colin

  “Mr. Baxter, I would say I’m surprised to see you again in my office but we both know that I would be lying.” Principal Atkins sighs, glancing at his computer before looking back to me. I give him a shrug, leaning back against the chair. This is the sixth time I’ve been in here in the last two months for getting caught fucking a girl either in a classroom or the locker room. “I get you’re young and have needs, but I am sick of telling you to keep it in your pants.”

  “I can’t help that the girls in this school can’t keep their hands off me.” I smile, placing my hands behind my head.

  “I have no choice this time, Colin.” He leans forward in his chair. “You have got off with so many warnings so I think suspension is the only way you will learn.” I sit up straight.

  “For how long?”

  “Three weeks.” Fuck.

  “You can’t do that. I have a big game before then and you know as well as anyone in this town that the team needs me.” I can even hear the panic in my own voice. Scouts are already interested in me and they will pull out if they know I got suspended.

  “My hands are tied here. You may think you are God in this school, but you aren’t.” He rubs his forehead with his hand. I know he doesn’t want to do this. I can see it all over his face.

  Fuck.

  This can’t happen.

  “Surely there is something else you can do. Punish me in some other way.” A knock on the door makes us both turn and I see a familiar head poke through. Sasha Bennett looks at us both then to the ground.

  “Sorry to interrupt, I have those forms you wanted.” She quickly walks in, putting them on the desk and then quickly heads back out.