“Yeah. My mom says no problem. She’ll bring you guys home.” Mina could hear more talking in the background. “Ina says how about tomorrow night? It’s Friday, so no school the next day, and the boys are planning a little bonfire, so we can bring you home after that. Is that okay?”
“I’ll ask. Wait a minute.” Mina put the phone down. “Ma?” Her mother sat in the living room staring at the television. Mina could see her stony expression in the light cast from the snowy reflection of the television. “Mrs. Miller wants to know if tomorrow night is good to come over. Also, they’re having a little campfire after supper. Is it okay if we stay, and she’ll bring us home after that?”
“I don’t care.” Her mother didn’t even turn to look at Mina. She was mad. Their father hadn’t shown up for supper and Mina knew what that meant. Going back to the phone she picked it up. “My mother says that’s fine.”
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” It was Sam on the line now.
“Very funny.”
Headlights flashed on the picture window in the living room. Her father was home. “I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” She hung up the phone. “Night, Ma.” Mina headed down the hall. She closed the bedroom door and smiled when Em looked up. Slipping into her nightgown, Mina turned on the old radio on the small table next to Emma’s bed. “Hey, how about I take a turn reading some Little House on the Prairie?” At Emma’s nod, Mina climbed onto her bed and started reading.
“You’ve been drinking. Get away from me.” Her mother’s voice echoed through the door.
Alcohol. Her mother hated it. Mina had to admit she wasn’t too fond of it either, since it spawned evenings like this. She could hear her father’s mumbled reply, and then her mother’s shrill voice, even louder this time. “I’m not interested. We can barely take care of the two we got now.”
Emma tensed next to Mina. “Ma’s really mad.”
“It’s okay.” Mina gave Emma’s thin arm a reassuring squeeze.
“You’re right; I don’t care. But I’m not leaving my stuff.” Her mother again.
Mina reached over and turned the radio up. “How about we just snuggle up together?” She scooted down in the bed, pulling the covers over them both.
The radio couldn’t drown out all of the shouting. Fifteen minutes later, the door to the bedroom across the hall slammed shut. Her mother. Shuffling noises in the hall, and the quiet closing of the other bedroom door. Her father. By this time, Emma had withdrawn under the blankets and was asleep with her face burrowed into Mina’s chest. I’m never getting married. I just want peace and quiet. Mina closed her eyes, but it was a long time before she fell asleep.
Beep, Beep, Beep. Mina groaned. Rolling over, she understood too late she’d been laying on the very edge of the bed. She hit the floor hard, banging her knees on the bare wood. Back at the bed, Emma was still asleep. Beep, Beep, Beep. Mina climbed to her feet to turn off the alarm. Em, you’re such a bed hog. Mina stretched and tried to ignore the stiffness in her neck. After washing up, she studied the contents of her closet. I wish I had some real jeans. Mina sighed and pulled out a dress to slip over her head. Black with a tiny pink rose print, the empire style dress had automatically became Mina’s favorite when her mother told her black was a slimming color. They were going to the Miller’s house today, and she needed to look her best. At least she hoped so. Following a night like last night, her mother wasn’t speaking to any of them. It was her form of punishment. If she thought you’d done something wrong, she pretended you didn’t exist. It could be something as simple as moving one of her things. Other times, it was because she was mad at their father. A few times, Mina rebelled and tried to hold out, but invariably after a couple of days, she’d apologize for Emma’s sake. Already nervous, these long bouts of silence often reduced Emma to tears over the slightest thing. You were probably the only little kid in history who wished for a spanking. It would’ve been easier. But neither of her parents had ever laid a hand on her.
“Come on, Em, you’ve got to get up. We’re going to be late for the bus.” She gave her sister a shake. Emma stretched and toddled off to the bathroom. Mina reached into the closet, her hand stopping at the same dress she wore. Emma hated the black dress, there wasn’t enough pink in it for her. Mina didn’t want to wear the same dress as Emma to the Miller’s house, but her mother would be mad if she put on something that didn’t match. Since Ma was already angry, Mina wasn’t about to do anything else, for fear she wouldn’t let them go. Emma came in, and Mina yanked the black dress over her little sister’s head.
“I hate this dress.”
“I know, I know. But could you please wear it today?” Mina scraped Emma’s thin hair into a pony tail. “For me?”
“Fine.”
“Good, let’s go. We can’t miss the bus. I don’t want to walk today.”
Mina wasn’t surprised no one was in the kitchen. From the single chipped coffee cup in the sink and missing lunch pail, she deduced her father had left for work. There was no sign of her mother. She’d stay in her bedroom until everyone was gone. It was all part of the scenario that played out each time her father drank a couple of beers. Mina wrote a short note to remind Ma where they’d be after school. Where should I stick it, so she’ll see it? Last night, Ma had emptied the box and bags she’d lugged home from the Smiths’ onto the table, exclaiming over all the good stuff. Good stuff? A cracked dinner plate, two screwdrivers, puzzle pieces in a plastic bag, an old roll of adhesive tape, a dirty teddy bear, a picture frame with no glass, and a set of broken salad tongs were among the items littering the top of the table. Mina slipped the note under the handle of one of the screwdrivers, grabbed their lunches out of the refrigerator, and snatched up windbreakers before rushing to the bus stop.
The day passed both quickly and slowly, all at once. Mina remained on edge every time the classroom door opened. She half expected her mother to call the school and leave a message the girls were to come home. But no call came, and soon they got off the bus at the end of the Miller’s driveway.
They walked up the drive and rounded a line of spruce trees that opened into a large clearing. A big black dog came loping down the driveway. Mina grabbed Emma’s arm and froze as the dog circled them, sniffing here and there. “Hold still,” she commanded in a frightened whisper.
Sam glanced back at them. “What’s the matter?”
“The dog.” Mina’s words came out barely above a whisper.
“You’re afraid of Scout? He won’t hurt you.” Sam walked back toward them. “Scout, bug off and leave ‘em alone. Sit down.” The dog dropped to his haunches, his tail swishing. “Good boy. Go find your ball.” The dog tore off around the house. “You guys don’t have a dog?” Both girls shook their heads. “How come? Allergic?”
“Ma says no, ‘cause you have to feed them, and they’re not like chickens that give eggs and stuff,” Emma answered. “My dad makes a joke sometimes and says you want a pet chicken, but I say no. Eww,” she finished, laughing as they moved on.
A one story camp sat in the middle of the well-kept lawn, weathered to an indeterminate shade of gray. An open porch stretched across the front, with folding lawn chairs at one end, while the other end held an aged wicker loveseat with faded cushions. A beat up coffee table sat in front of the couch with a citronella candle and several soda cans scattered on it. As she climbed the steps, Mina noticed someone had driven nails into the wall to hold fishing poles and all kinds of sporting equipment.
Inside, the three Miller kids dropped their backpacks on a bench by the door. A variety of coats hung on pegs along the wall, while underneath the bench, a jumble of shoes spilled out onto the worn linoleum floor. Turning, Mina realized they were in a long room that served as a combination kitchen-dining room area. This end of the room contained a sink, stove and refrigerator. On the upper wall, open shelving held dishes, cups and glasses in one section while the next held boxes of pasta, crackers and cans of soup along with other dry goods. A
stack of bowls with spoons still in them sat on the counter next to the sink, along with an open box of cereal. The other end of the room was dominated by a long trestle table, benches down each side and a chair on each end. On the further side of the table, a wide archway opened into what would be a large living room when it was finished. A huge braided rug covered a good portion of the plywood floor, and the walls had been sheet rocked, but not yet painted. Several large windows along the back wall let in a flood of sunlight, while a wood stove dominated the end wall. A pair of large sneakers lay abandoned on the floor, and a coffee mug sat atop a stack of newspapers on a side table next to a threadbare recliner. All of the furniture scattered around the room was well worn, but instead of shabby, it looked warm and comfortable. Emma stood next to Mina, no more sure of what to do than she was.
“Let’s have a snack before we do anything else,” Winona said. “Is that okay with you guys?”
Mina and Emma both shrugged. “Sure,” Mina said.
Sam turned on a radio on the kitchen counter and then joined the girls. Winona took two more bowls off the table from breakfast and produced a big bag of potato chips and onion dip. Everyone chatted at once. The door opened and two older boys walked in bringing the dog with them.
They must be Ori and Joe. Mina felt the nagging ill ease she always had when first meeting someone. They were both tall like Sam, with the same black hair. The bigger one had a navy blue bandanna wrapped around his head and knotted in the back, his hair undone and ending right below his pierced ears. No braids? A dark mustache was visible on his upper lip. The sleeves of his t-shirt were ripped off, displaying a large tattoo on his upper arm. All of that, and the scowl on his face, made him look very menacing. The other boy also wore a t-shirt and jeans; his hair was in two braids hanging down on his chest. But it was his smile Mina noticed. His smile made you want to smile right back, and Mina did.
“Hey, what’s up?” Joe grinned.
“This is Mina and Emma,” Sam said, seeming tense all of a sudden. “They go to school with us. This is Ori and Joe.” Sam pointed to each of his brothers.
“Hello.” Both Mina and Emma said at almost the same time. Stop staring at him. Mina busied herself brushing up an imaginary pile of chip crumbs on the table, unable to completely wipe the smile off her face. Mina knew the two boys were staring at her too. She had no illusions about why. They wouldn’t have looked twice if she had been dressed like Winona.
“So, you’re the little Wasicu girlfriend who’s trying to get Sam to read…good luck with that,” Ori said with a chuckle.
Mina’s head snapped up, the smile gone. “Sam can read.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sam said at the same time.
Mina’s face flushed. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come here. She wasn’t sure what Sam’s brother had called her, but it didn’t sound like a compliment. She shifted on the bench.
“Sam, I hope you’re careful this time. This one’s definitely jail bait. How old are you anyway?”
Mina’s face grew warmer. She studied her hands to avoid looking at the oldest Miller boy. “Thirteen.”
“You’re shittin’ me? You look about—”
“Cut it out, Ori or I’ll tell Ina,” Winona warned him.
“Okay. Okay. I was just curious.” Ori leaned forward to grab a handful of chips before tossing one toward the dog, who managed to snap it up mid-flight.
“You should try the dip, it’s really good,” Emma said in a small voice, much to Mina’s surprise. Em hardly spoke to anyone she didn’t know, and this guy would be the least likely subject of all.
“Really?” Ori asked, sarcasm clear in his voice to everyone except Emma.
Em nodded.
“Silly,” Sarah said. “We have this dip all the time, but he doesn’t like it.”
Using a chip, Ori scooped up a gob of dip and popped it in his mouth. He chewed and nodded. “You’re right, it’s pretty good.”
Emma imitated his action. “Told ya.”
“I’m going to call Marie.” Ori grinned as he headed into the living room.
“His girlfriend back home,” Winona explained as Joe sat at the table and started talking about his day at the high school. He soon had them all laughing. His infectious smile was hard to resist, and several times Mina found herself laughing out loud.
A few minutes later the door opened again. “Hello. A little help here.”
Sam and Winona jumped up to help their mother with several plastic grocery bags.
“Thanks.” She gave Sam a brief hug and then put her arm around Winona’s shoulders. “Hi, girls.” Mrs. Miller came forward, bringing Winona with her. “I’m glad you could come over.”
“Thank you for having us.” Without conscious thought, Mina returned the woman’s warm smile. Lilith Miller was short and plump with a smile that reminded Mina of Sam’s and skin a couple of shades darker than her children. Her long, dark hair was braided, and she wore a printed top and green scrub pants, along with white shoes. Sam had told Mina right now she worked at Dartmouth Hitchcock Hospital as a housekeeper and hoped to enter the nursing assistant program in the fall. Lilith walked around the table and came to stand between Joe and Sarah, extending an arm around each of them to give a squeeze. “Where’s Ori?”
Joe jerked a thumb toward the living room. “Talkin’ to Marie.”
Sam’s mother walked over and touched Ori’s shoulder, giving it a rub. “Not too long, okay?” she said in a low voice. He nodded. “Tell Marie I said hi.” Back in the kitchen, she said, “Who wants to help with dinner?”
Mina was amazed. Mrs. Miller had gone around the room and given each of her children a quick embrace or touch in a matter of minutes. The only time her mother had ever touched her was to curl her hair or help her dress when she was smaller. Mina couldn’t think of one time either of her parents had ever given her or Em a hug.
“Can Emma and I go play?” At her mother’s nod, Sarah grabbed Emma’s hand.
“I have to finish putting scraps on the pile for the fire. Anyone want to help?” Joe looked at Mina as he swung his leg over the bench.
“I’ll help,” Sam said before Mina could answer. “Let’s go.” Reaching the door, he turned back. “Are you coming?”
Sam’s tone sounded harsh. Did I do something wrong? But he had directed his question to his brother.
“I thought so.” Joe laughed. “See you later, Mina.” He went out the door after Sam, followed a few minutes later by Ori and the dog.
“Well, ladies, it looks like you’re elected,” Lilith said. “How would you like to peel potatoes?”
“Sure.” Winona brought two paring knives and a ten pound bag of potatoes to the table.
Mina didn’t say anything. She watched Winona take a potato out of the bag and with deft movements work her knife around it, leaving a long peel. I can do this. She pulled a potato from the bag and worked her knife around the vegetable in a careful manner. She didn’t need to embarrass herself with a slip of the knife blade. Even though she was slow, Mina’s small pile started to build up.
Sarah appeared at the edge of the table. “Hey, don’t you know how to peel potatoes?” She turned away to talk to her mother.
Mina looked at Winona’s pile of potatoes. Not only were there twice as many, they were all twice as big as Mina’s potatoes. She flushed. Oh, great. I left half of the potato with the peel. Hanging her head in embarrassment, Mina apologized to Lilith as she came to sit by her on the bench. “I’m not allowed to cook at home. My mother says food is too expensive to waste if I make a mistake,” Mina explained in a low voice, head down.
“That’s okay.” Sam’s mother gave her shoulder a quick rub. “Here, let me show you how.” Picking up the knife, she slid it under the skin to lift a wispy piece of peel. “See? Give it another try.” She handed Mina the knife and potato. Mina tried again. The first couple of tries were still too thick, but Mina persevered and after that the peels were thinner. She couldn’t
take the peel off in long strands, but at least her potatoes were now closer to the size of Winona’s.
“Good job.” Lilith touched Mina’s back again. It felt good and bad all at the same time when Sam’s mother touched her. Good because Mina sensed affection behind it, and bad because Mina wasn’t used to being touched. It felt foreign and kind of unsettling.
Dinner was almost done cooking, and Winona and Mina were setting the table when Mr. Miller came in, lunch pail tucked under his arm. He was tall and solidly built, his skin ruddy from years of working outside. Even cut short, it was easy to tell his blond hair was starting to gray. He bent down and gave his wife a kiss and a quick squeeze. “Hello, baby.” He smiled.
“Hello yourself.” Mrs. Miller gave him a warm smile in return.
Mina watched the exchange, and felt her face heat up as she folded a paper napkin, tucking it under a fork. Her parents never greeted each other that way.
“Hi, Dad,” Winona said.
Mina glanced out of the corner of her eye at Winona. She didn’t seem embarrassed; she stood smiling at her father.
“Hi.” He turned toward the table. “How was your day?”
“Okay. I got an A on my English homework.”
“Good deal,” he praised.
“Dad, this is my friend, Mina Mason.”
Her dad smiled and lines creased at the corner of his eyes. It looked like he’d smiled a lot over the years, leaving permanent grooves. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Mina said shyly.
Everyone laughed and teased later as food was passed around, more food than Mina’s mother ever made for a meal. The Miller boys had huge appetites, eating copious quantities of everything on the table. Mina was amazed at the end of the meal when most of the serving bowls were empty. More incredible though, was the sense of camaraderie and lightness around the group. She tried to capture this feeling to pull out and examine later. It was something she’d never experienced before, and Mina liked it, a lot. She glanced over to find Emma smiling and laughing too; her eyes seemed to be twinkling. Why couldn’t we belong to this family?
My Mother Grows Wallflowers Page 4