“How deep is it out there?”
Rolling his eyes, Sam nonetheless extended his arms over his head and, grinning, slowly sank beneath the surface. First, his head, then his arms and finally his fingers. He resurfaced again. “Wow, that’s deep. I’d say about fifteen feet, maybe twenty. Sand must’ve shifted in the spring again. It wasn’t this deep last year. Are you swimming today or what?”
“Not yet. I’m still getting used to the water.”
“Yeah, right.” He executed a perfect breast stroke back to where she waited. Sam touched bottom and stood up in front of her. She was eye level with his chest, and without being overly muscular, his torso was well defined, thanks to sports and lots of outdoor activity. Mina swallowed as drops of water slid down his hard pecs, to stop at the thin scar that sliced across his chest, before continuing on over taut muscles.
“Are you ready?”
“Huh?” She looked up. He had always been taller than her, who wasn’t? But now she felt liked he towered over her. “Ah. Yeah.”
“Okay. Freestyle stroke,” he said, turning in the water, all business now. “You need to bring your arm up over your head.”
Mina watched the muscles in his back as Sam demonstrated the stroke. She swallowed again, her throat dry. What’s wrong with me? Lately, Mina lost her train of thought at the drop of a hat. Her mother forgot things; was it something hereditary?
“You got it?”
Mina hadn’t been listening; she’d been gawking. Great. Well, I’ll have to wing it. “Got it.”
“Okay, let’s see it.”
All of a sudden, Mina didn’t want to chop the water in what was sure to be a clumsy fashion in front of him. She hesitated.
“Don’t be a baby, Mina.” Sam grasped her wrist, pulling her in front of him. “Like this.” He lifted her wrist over her head, imitating the motion of the stroke, with first one arm and then the other. Dropping her arms, he shook his head. “You know, this would be a lot easier if you didn’t have that shirt on.”
“What’s my t-shirt got to do with it?” Mina crossed her arms over her chest.
“Well, for one thing, it’s about three sizes too big for you; the thing comes almost to your knees.”
“So?”
“So? I bet it weighs ten pounds. You’ll barely be able to bring your arm up to do the stroke.”
She shrugged.
“Mina, take the stupid thing off. It’s just you and me here. Who cares?”
He was right; it was just the two of them. He’d never made fun of her or leered at her. Moving around him, she took a few steps in, and facing the shore, pulled the sodden material over her head. She laid it on the rock, ducked back into the water up to her neck and turned around.
Sam stood in the same spot she’d left him, with his arms crossed. “Are you ready now?” At her nod, he turned to swim out into the river.
Mina followed. In three steps, she no longer had to crouch down. In three more steps, she was up to her chin. In another three, even though it wasn’t over her head, she could barely touch bottom on tip toe. The constant flow pushed her further out into the river. Treading water, she steadied herself against the current.
“Are you okay?” Sam asked near her.
She nodded. “Are you touching bottom?”
“Yup.”
Turning slightly, Mina could see the water cut across the upper part of his chest. Wet hair, slicked back from his face, accented dark eyes.
“Ready?” He gave her a reassuring smile.
When she nodded, Sam grabbed her hand to pull her into deeper water.
Mina didn’t panic. She could dog paddle, and she swam underwater fine. He explained the technique again, and she gave it a try. Mina was as clumsy as she thought she’d be at first, and he chuckled, but didn’t make fun of her.
They continued the lesson for about half an hour before calling it quits, deciding to take a break and dive for rocks. From the surface, the depth of the water made it appear dark green, but underneath, especially if the sun shone, the water was crystal clear, and you could see all the way to the bottom.
Mina might not have been the best swimmer on the surface, but beneath the water she was free and totally at ease. As a small child, she’d often fantasized she was a mermaid, her long hair floating rhythmically in the current.
She’s beautiful, Sam thought, as he followed Mina to the bottom in search of the rock she just tossed. Hair way past her waist fanned out in the water, occasionally parting to give a peek at a trim waist. Mina didn’t wear clothes that flaunted her shape, and he hadn’t seen her in a bathing suit without some type of cover up in a couple of years. Well-shaped legs kicked out to push her closer to the bottom, giving him a glimpse of the curve of her hip as she twisted lower in the water. Mina turned to him, holding the chunk of white quartz above her head in triumph. Sunlight filtering through the water cast a coppery red glow to all that hair floating around her small body. She looked ethereal. Without thinking, he reached out and pulled Mina to him, his arm encircling her waist. Breaking the surface, he still held her loosely. Even though he could feel her stiffen, Sam didn’t let go. He leaned in and lightly touched his lips to hers. When Mina didn’t pull away, he increased the pressure, feeling her tentative response. With this knowledge, he drew her closer to his body and felt her arms slide hesitantly up around his neck. She felt so right next to him. He eased back to study her face. “Is this okay?” he asked, his forehead touching hers, waiting for an answer.
Mina blushed. “I don’t know.” Would her mother think so? Definitely not.
“Mina? Look at me.” He waited until she looked up. “This is right. I know it. For once, don’t analyze it. Just feel it, here.” He tapped the area near where her heart lay, before sliding his hand up her throat. Sam tilted her face up and kissed her again.
“It’s going to be okay. Nothing to worry about. We’re not going to rush anything,” he reassured her. “Trust me.”
Always. Mina laid her head against his chest and listened to the rapid beat of his heart, enjoying the warmth and smell of his skin. Smell? Inhaling, without moving a muscle, she closed her eyes. He smells so good. Like water, fresh cut grass, a hint of deodorant, but there was something else…a hint of the scent that was Sam.
Sam tightened his hold and sighed as he rested his chin on the top of her head. They stayed suspended this way for a while, saying nothing. Birds called in the trees, a dragonfly landed somewhere near, the water slid by, and still they stood.
Mina couldn’t believe it. Sam kissed her, and whether she wanted to admit it or not, she’d kissed him back and wanted to again. What now? She needed time to think about this, but at the same time, being here at this moment was the best thing that had ever happened in her life. She didn’t want to move. So she stayed silent and enjoyed the feel of his arms and the smell of his skin. Though it wasn’t possible to get closer, since they were already pressed skin to skin, Mina yearned for it nonetheless. It was much later before she spoke up. “Don’t you have to help your dad?” she murmured.
“Hmm.”
“I don’t want to, but I think we need to get out of the water. My fingers are all wrinkled, and I’m pretty sure I’m starting to burn.” Mina flexed her shoulders.
Sam looked at her back. “Oh yeah. It’s looking red. Okay, pale face.” Sam gave her a quick kiss. “We’re going to be okay. We’re going to be better than okay. Trust me.” He turned her toward shore. “Hey, you and Em want to come over this afternoon? We’re cooking out.”
Mina shook her head. “I can’t. I have to babysit tonight.”
“Man, again? You’re always babysitting.”
She nodded. “I know, but I need the money.” She couldn’t hide the disappointment in her voice. For the first time ever, she regretted her babysitting jobs.
“What time are you getting done?”
“I don’t know, late I think. I’m babysitting for the Bonners, and they usually go to dinner and a late movie. Wh
y?”
“Nothing. I thought if it wasn’t too late, you could still come over tonight, and we could have a fire out back or something.”
It sounded appealing. Sam, a fire, more kissing maybe. Stop torturing yourself. It’s not going to happen; you have to work. Besides you’re not even sure what this is all about anyway. Mina turned away. “Sorry.” With that, she slid under the water, diving deep as she headed toward shore. Swimming as far as possible, she surfaced back near the rock, her lungs burning. What’re you doing? Mina’s chest heaved in an effort to resupply her oxygen-starved lungs. Punishing yourself? For what? Liking Sam? Letting him kiss you and liking it? Maybe. Probably. Keeping her eyes closed, she dipped her head back in the current to smooth out her hair.
“Mouse, what’re you doing here?”
Mina’s eyes popped open. Above her stood a group of people, Blair Whitman in the front, studying her with narrowed eyes. “Hello,” she said, still trying to catch her breath.
“Hey, Sam,” Blair called over Mina’s head. “How’s the water?”
“Great,” he responded with no enthusiasm.
Blair looked at Mina again, and back at Sam, but said nothing more.
“Hey, Mina, how ya doin’?”
Mina shifted her glance a little to the right. Robbie Fields looked down at her, wearing that ever-present smirk.
“Hi.” She dropped her gaze, only to have it land on the t-shirt she’d discarded earlier. Snatching it off the rock, she turned away from him and pulled the shirt over her head.
Sam stood in chest deep water until Robbie spoke to her. As he started to move in, Mina held her hand up to stop him. “I’ll see you later.” She climbed the rock and skirted the group to retrieve her towel. Wrapping it around her torso, Mina shoved her feet into her sandals. “See ya.” She left without a backward glance.
Forty minutes later, Mina hung her wet bathing suit out on the line in the back yard, wondering if they were all still there, or more specifically, if Sam was. What’re you doing? You don’t want a boyfriend, remember?
“Hey.”
Sam, as if her thoughts conjured him. Mina wheeled around. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay. You just took off. Are your parents at home?” He glanced toward the house.
Mina shook her head. “No. They took Em with them and went to visit my aunt and uncle.”
“I thought so. I didn’t see your dad’s truck.”
Neither of them said anything for a few moments. Away from the magic and quiet of the river, it was hard for Mina to believe Sam had kissed her.
“Are you all right?”
She nodded, studying the grass near her bare feet.
“Mina, look at me.” Sam stepped closer. “I didn’t mean to upset you. But I’m not going to say I’m sorry for kissing you, ‘cause I’m not.”
She lifted her gaze. “I’m not sorry either.” Her words were soft.
He leaned forward and his lips melded with hers. It was Mina who reached up and pulled him nearer, that yearning to be closer powerful again.
This time, Sam drew away. “Wow.”
Mina flushed. What’s wrong with me? One kiss and she’d crawled all over him. “Sorry.”
“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Lifting her chin with his index finger, Sam waited until she looked at him. “Mina, we didn’t do anything wrong. It’s so right.” He pulled her into his arms in a loose hug. “I know it’s right.”
I could get used to this. Being in his arms was starting to feel natural. She sighed in contentment.
“Better now?” He pushed her hair back to give her a kiss on the forehead.
She nodded. “What’d Blair and gang want?” She’d been thinking about it since leaving the river. None of them had bathing suits on. Blair must’ve spotted Lilith’s car by the bridge. And if she knew Blair, and she did, Mina knew she wasted no time in investigating.
“They wanted to know if I was going to Mike French’s party tonight.”
“What’d you tell them?”
“Probably not.”
She knew Sam got invited to all the parties. She’d also heard sometimes there were drugs and alcohol. Sam disliked both, seeing first-hand the damage done on the rez, so Mina wasn’t worried about that.
“Why not? I bet most of the soccer team will be there. You might as well go and chat sports with your friends.”
“We’ll see. I’d rather spend the time with you.”
Me too. “I know, but I have to babysit. Besides, I have to clean the house and finish that English assignment before I go. Which reminds me, have you caught up on your journal entries yet?”
“Nope. I’ll do them though.” At her skeptical look, he added, “Honest.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be helping your father?”
“Crap! I forgot.” He gave her a quick kiss and turned to leave, only to turn back around and give her another one. “This is so right,” he said, before jogging off. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
The next morning in church sitting beside Emma, Mina went through her routine of thanking God for all of the good things in her life and then asking for guidance for the coming week. Only this week, her short list had more meaning than ever. She had Sam. She couldn’t wait to talk to him and hoped her parents wouldn’t be in the house when he called. Her good mood continued as she and Em walked home. It wasn’t until about three o’clock in the afternoon and he still hadn’t called that she started to have doubts. The voice pushed its way to the front again.
No boyfriend.
This isn’t any ol’ boy; this is Sam.
You’re going to get hurt.
Sam would never hurt me.
What about college?
What about it? Just because I like Sam doesn’t mean I’m not going to college. He’s going too. Maybe we’ll go together.
Why hasn’t he called yet?
I don’t know; he will.
But time ticked by, and he didn’t.
Does he have regrets about yesterday?
No, No, No.
Unable to turn off the internal monologue any longer, as soon as both her parents were outside, Mina picked up the phone and dialed the Millers’ number.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Joe. It’s Mina. Is Sam there?”
“Oh, hi, Mina.” Joe hesitated. “Sure, I’ll get him.”
No flirting? What was up with that? Joe always had something to say. Maybe Sam told him what happened, and that he made a mistake. The longer she waited, the more nervous Mina got. She was about to hang up when she heard someone pick up the receiver.
“’Lo?”
“Sam? What’s wrong?”
“Hey, Mina…I was going to call you, but I’m not feeling so hot.”
“What’s wrong?”
No answer on the other end of the line.
“Maybe you’ve got what Joe had. You said he was sick,” Mina suggested.
“I don’t think so.”
“Did you eat at Lozo’s again?’ she joked to cheer him up and not sound as nervous as she felt.
“No.” He hesitated again. “I was at Mike French’s house last night.”
“Oh.” The party, he went to the party. “Did you have a good time?” Mina tried to keep her voice nonchalant.
“I remember talking to Brian Holt for a while.” Sam paused. “The rest was kind of a blur.”
Does he sound nervous? “What do you mean a blur? What happened?” Mina’s stomach churned. Please, please, please, don’t let this be bad. Not now.
“I guess I was in Mike’s car.”
“Yeah?” She could tell there was more.
“With Blair Whitman,” he admitted in a low voice.
“What?” This can’t be happening.
“Mina, I swear I don’t know what happened. She says we, ah, that we —but I don’t think so. I can’t remember—”
“Are you kidding?” she interrupted, anger making her voice l
ouder.
“No.”
And Mina knew he wasn’t. A surge of nausea welled in the pit of her stomach, her mouth felt watery. She swallowed it down. “You can do anything you want. You don’t have to answer to me.”
“Yes, I do. Mina, don’t be upset.”
“Don’t be upset? Don’t be upset? I’m way past upset.” Hold it together. “Look, I gotta go. I have homework to finish.”
“Mina. Wait. We need to talk about this.”
“I can’t. I’ve gotta go.” She hung up the phone. Mina closed the door to her room and fell on the bed, thankful Emma was out back playing. You’re an idiot...You should’ve figured this was too good to be true.
Tears slid from the corners of her eyes to pool underneath her, soaking her pillow. Sam and Blair? She knew Blair, chief cheerleader, and slayer of all underdogs, liked Sam. Everybody knew that. But Sam? He always said Blair was too much of a size-three-Barbie-doll-Gap-girl and way too skinny for his taste. Mina often thought Sam said it for her benefit…she was no size three and sensitive to the fact she’d matured faster than most of the other girls. Boys often gave Mina looks she wished she wasn’t aware of. Sam never made her feel that way, ever. Even after nature played this dirty trick on her, he treated her the same, always on her side. Always, since they were kids.
Mina sat upright. He would’ve believed her; she knew that with certainty. How could she have thought he lied? Because you’re thinking with your heart, not your head, and after what happened yesterday, your heart is hurting. You should’ve stuck to the no boyfriend rule; there’s still time. Mina scrubbed her shirt sleeve across her eyes, smoothed her hair down and stood. She had to talk to him. Before she could do anything, the bedroom door opened.
“Supper’s ready.”
“Em, close the door a minute.”
“What’s wrong with your eyes? Have you been crying?” Em closed the door.
“Nothing, no.” Mina shook her head. “Listen, I need to call Sam; I need to talk to him.”
“Ma’s not going to go for that.”
“I know. That’s why I’m going to say I’m calling someone else.”
“What’s so important that can’t wait until tomorrow?”
My Mother Grows Wallflowers Page 11