Yet he sees crying as a weakness and refuses to get in touch with his emotions to grow stronger the way he’s telling me I have to do.
A knock at the door startles me. “Who is it?” I manage to croak out.
“Sue, sweetheart.”
I hurry to wipe my eyes and take a sock and blow my nose, then go to the door. As I open it, I can see her expression is confused.
“Come in,” I say and push the screen door open.
She comes inside and hugs me. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
“Huh?” I run my fingertips under my eyes. “Nothing.”
Sue takes my hand and pulls me to sit on the sofa next to her. “Jenna, why have you been crying?”
She moves the pile of socks and underwear off to one side and looks at me as she holds both of my hands. And I don’t know what to say to her.
Do I tell her that I’m ashamed of myself for fucking her son in the men’s room at his job so he wouldn’t fuck the new girl at work? Do I tell her I’m dreading when he comes home and doles out the punishment for daring to say I didn’t want to scream out his name as I came or toss my torn panties into the trash next to the woman who wants him?
I search her eyes. Eyes that remind me of Reed’s so much. They’re lighter now. They used to be dark blue like Reed’s are.
“I’m about to start my period. I always get emotional around this time of the month,” I say.
“I see,” she says as she looks hard into my eyes. “No other reason?”
I shake my head and the door flies open. Rod comes in and slams the door behind him. “Mom, what are you doing here?”
She gets up and hugs him. “Hello to you too, son.”
He looks at me with a cold stare. Then he gently pushes his mother away from him. “Beer, Jenna.”
I jump up and run to the kitchen. “Sorry, you’re two hours early.”
Sue asks as she sits back down, “What’s she sorry for, Rod?”
“She’s sorry she didn’t have a beer waiting for me when I walked in.”
I hurry back to him with the opened beer bottle. “Here, sweetie.”
He sits in his chair and I hand it to him. “Boots.”
I kneel and begin to unlace the oily boots and try hard not to pay attention to Sue looking at me with her jaw hanging open. “Rod, you’re more than capable of doing that yourself!”
“It’s part of our deal, Mom. I work hard to provide for us and she takes care of the house and me.” He takes a long drink of the beer. “What has you stopping by unannounced?” Then he looks at me. “Or did she tell you she was coming over and you didn’t say a thing to me about it, Jenna?”
Before I can say anything, Sue comes to my rescue. “Rod, I didn’t tell her either! My goodness, son! Can’t I stop by? I was in the neighborhood dropping off a casserole to your Aunt Betty. She’s down with a virus and she only lives two streets over. So I thought I’d stop by and visit Jenna. Do you have a problem with that?”
As I pull off the last boot he says, “I do, actually. I like to come home and chill.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Sue asks him as she grabs the laundry and gets up.
“Let her do it, Mom.” Rod gives me a look and I jump up off the floor and hurry to take the clothes from her.
“I’m sure he puts these in the top drawer the same way I’ve always done it at home. I don’t mind.” She tries to hold on to the clothes but I manage to pry them away from her.
“No,” I say as I walk away with the clothes. “He keeps them somewhere else. I’ll do it.”
If she would’ve opened that drawer she’d have fainted with what she saw—collars, leather straps, along with other assorted things he uses on me.
“Mom, Jenna and I have things to do. I’m sure Dad needs you at home,” I hear him tell her.
“God! Fine, I’m leaving. Bye, Jenna.”
I go back out and give her a hug. “Bye, Sue.”
She gives Rod a look. “Bye, won. I’ll call next time.”
“You do that,” he says. “Bye.” He pulls the brown bottle to his lips as I walk her out.
She gives me a look just before I close the door. So I smile. “See you on Sunday for brunch, Sue.”
She nods and goes to get into her new car.
I go back inside and find Rod looking at me. “Lock the door.”
I do as he’s said then turn back to him. “Look, I’m sorry for talking back to you today. I had a difficult time with what you wanted, but I understand now and that won’t happen again. I don’t feel like a punishment is necessary, as I completely understand now.”
Rod sets the bottle on the table next to him and pats his leg. I go to him and he pulls me to sit on his lap. His fingers twirl a piece of my hair. “So you understand, do you?”
I nod and he moves his hand underneath my dress. He pushes my panties to the side and his finger goes inside me. He looks at me as he pumps it inside me. Then he turns it over and hits my G-spot.
I grip his shoulders and take in a sharp breath as my body wants to climax. He looks into my eyes. “Don’t.” His finger wiggles and it sends waves through me.
My fingers sink into his flesh as I try hard not to cum. He wiggles his finger more and then it just happens and I cum. I gasp as it happens. “I’m sorry!”
“Why?” He looks at me as he pulls his finger out of me and puts it in his mouth. “Didn’t that feel good?”
“It did, but you didn’t give me permission to.” My heart is pounding in my chest. I have no idea what he’s going to do about this.
“That bitch didn’t bother me after you left. I overheard her talking to someone on the phone and she said you were a little scary and she had no desire to get on your bad side. I heard her say she was going to move on to another one of the mechanics.” His hand runs up my thigh, pulling the dress with it.
“That’s good, then,” I say and run my hands through his hair.
He nods. “Yes, it is. Seems I’m teaching you how to be a woman, Jenna. And I want to show you how proud I am of you. I’m even proud of you for standing up for yourself with me. That’s what I want from you. To grow into the woman I need.”
He gets up and carries me to the bedroom. I unbutton the buttons on his dirty blue work shirt with his name embroidered in white on the upper left side of it. He caresses my cheek as I push it off his broad shoulders.
“You’re beautiful, Jenna.” His lips touch my cheek.
I unbutton his pants and push them down. They fall around his ankles. I pull his underwear down and he steps out of the pile. Then I take his hand and lead him to the shower.
Turning it on and letting it heat up, I pull the dress off over my head and push my panties off. Then I take his hand and get into the shower, pulling him in behind me.
I pour the apple shampoo into my palm and run my hands over his ash blond hair and over the beard he’s been growing. He gazes at me with those steely blue eyes.
I can see the love in them. He doesn’t have to tell me the words. I can see them in his eyes from time to time.
Gently I push his head back and rinse out the shampoo and when I bring his head back up he takes my wrists and pulls me to him. His mouth falls soft on mine and he moves me to the side and presses me up against the wall.
My hands run over his muscled back as he runs his hands down and takes my ass in them. His cock slides into my soft center as my legs wrap around him.
He moves slow and easy as we kiss, our tongues moving around in a lazy fashion.
It’s times like these that cement the bond between us. It’s when he lets his soft side out that shows me who he really is and with time will become.
His movements grow faster and he takes his mouth from mine and begins to pant as his need grows. Faster and harder he goes. Then he whispers, “Cum whenever you feel like it, baby.”
My heart grows with the love I have for him and I kiss his neck and run my tongue up and down it. When I feel him go stiff I let my o
rgasm go, and we moan at the same time as our bodies unite in the middle.
I want to tell him I love him so damn bad. I won’t, though. That would ruin this and I don’t want anything to ruin it.
After his cock stops jerking and pulsing, he lets me down and eases out of me. With one look I know he does love me.
And this is why I stay …
Chapter 7
JENNA
Two weeks ago a laptop computer was sent to me anonymously. The package came to my parents’ address and Mom called and told me I had something there.
I called Reed, who told me he was the one who sent it and I was to click on the Arizona State Icon when I turned it on. He’d set everything up for me somehow.
He enrolled me in the college, setting me up in the basic classes and paying for it with a scholarship from his business.
I’ve been doing the work online the last couple of weeks and hiding the laptop from Rod in the top of the closet every day before he gets home.
I’m loving taking the classes and using my brain for the first time since I graduated almost three years ago. And with my twenty-first birthday coming up, I’m feeling like I’m really doing something for myself. For my future.
And I have Reed Manning to thank for that.
I open up my math class on my computer and see the grades for last week’s test have been posted. I open up the grade book and see a perfect score there. I jump off the sofa and dance around while wiggling my ass.
Then I grab my cell phone and type in a quick text to Reed. Wanted to let you know I made a perfect score on my math test. Thank you so much. This is so appreciated.
I don’t even get the phone sat back down and hear the ping of a text. I look and see he’s texted back.
Jenna, I’m so happy to hear that. You should give me a call if you can.
I look at the words then hit the button to call him. My heart’s beating all fast, and I pace around.
“Hey, girl!” His deep voice meets my ears.
My stomach gets a little wobbly. “Hi, Reed.”
“Way to go on the math test. How are the other classes going?” he asks.
His voice is so deep and smooth and very sexy. It gives me chills and sends desire straight through me. I shake that off and say, “I’m doing great in all of them. I’m trying hard to make you glad you gave the scholarship to me. I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You could never disappoint me. So how’s everything else going?” he asks.
“Fine.” I go to the window as I hear something and pull the curtain back and see Rod pulling into the driveway three hours early. “Shit!”
“Something wrong, Jenna?”
“Rod’s home early. I have to go and hide the computer. I’ll text you sometime. Thanks again, Reed.” I haul ass to grab the computer.
Reed says, “Delete this phone call and the texts, Jenna. Hurry. Bye.”
I stop and do what he’s said to. I manage to get that accomplished when Rod throws the door open. I put the phone down on the coffee table just in time, but his eyes are on the laptop.
“What’s that?” he asks as he nods toward it.
“Oh, that? Uh, well, my parents gave it to me. No big deal. I was just on this little social media thingy. A lot of my old school girlfriends have accounts and I was talking to them. Kind of like exchanging notes.” I pick it up and start to walk to the bedroom with it when his hand takes my shoulder and pulls me back to him.
“Let me see it.” His words are sharp, and I hold it to my chest like a sacred book.
“Rod, it’s really fragile.”
His eyes narrow. “Let me see it.”
With a heavy heart, I hand it to him and he pulls it open. “I don’t want you on social media. Bad things happen on any of them. And no good ever comes from having one of these things.”
Horror fills me as he snaps the lid back and the cracking of the screen screeches as he breaks it. I fall to my knees in front of him. “Rod! How could you? That was mine. It was expensive!”
I start crying as the pieces of the computer fall on the pea green shag carpeting from the seventies that covers our living room floor. “Stop crying, Jenna, or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
He walks away as I pick up the broken pieces of what would’ve been my future. His voice is loud as he shouts, “Beer, Jenna! Now!”
I stand up with what’s left of the computer and walk into the kitchen and toss it into the trash as I don’t even attempt to stop crying.
He’s gone too far!
Getting a beer, I walk back to find him sitting in his chair. He’s looking straight ahead and I move the beer in my hand and throw it like a football, straight at the side of his head.
He moves just in time to avoid it hitting him and then he’s up and has me by my hair. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he screams.
I fight as he drags me to the bedroom and rips the dress off me. Then he goes my panties and I fight him as hard as I can. He never lets go of my hair as he drags me over next to the dresser and grabs the bungee cord.
Then he has me face down on the bed and sits on my back as he pulls my hands over my head. I kick and thrash under him. He binds my hands with the cord. Then he lifts me up and hooks the cord over the hook on the wall.
I’m shrieking and crying and trying to kick backwards and trying to move myself in a way that will get me off this hook.
“Stop crying!” he yells as the belt slices through the air and lands on my ass.
I shriek louder with the lash, but don’t stop crying. I’m not crying from the pain of the strike. I’m crying in absolute anger.
I don’t think I’ve ever been angrier in my life. “Fuck you, Rod!”
Another hard hit has me screaming louder. “Stop crying, Jenna!”
Then my body falls limp against the wall and I sob like I never have before. I can barely breathe as he hits me over and over and every time he shouts for me to stop crying.
I don’t feel any pain at all. I’m numb. My brain is numb; and my body is numb; and I finally stop crying.
I close my eyes as he takes me down and throws me onto the bed. He leaves the room and comes back with the ointment and rubs it all over my ass.
It doesn’t matter. I can’t feel it anyway. I lie there on the bed and know I can’t do this anymore.
Then I hear something I’ve never heard before.
I turn over and find Rod on his knees beside the bed. His face is in his hands and I think he’s crying.
I sit up and blink, as I can’t believe what I’m seeing. There are no words. And there is a flash of something that shoots through me.
“Rod? What are you doing?”
When he lifts his face out of his hands I see the first tears I’ve ever seen come out of his eyes, and my heart breaks into a million pieces.
What have I done to him?
I go to him and wrap my arms around him as he sobs. “Jenna, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
He stands up, pushing me away from him. Then he pulls open the drawer of his nightstand and pulls out the paper which binds us together.
Our contract!
“What are you doing, Rod?”
My body is trembling as I watch him hold the paper up. His eyes are rimmed red and his deep voice is shaky as he says, “I’m tearing this up. You can leave if you want to.”
Something snaps inside me. I get up and reach out for the paper. The paper I’ve lived my life by for the last few years. “No.”
He looks at me with tears running down his face. “I have to, Jenna. I’ve worked on you for over two years and you came at me like a tiger. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He takes the paper and begins to tear the top of it.
“Stop! Don’t. I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please, don’t let this be the end of us, Rod. Please.” I fall to my knees and wrap my arms around his legs. “Please, Rod. I’ll do anything. Don’t end this. I’m begging you.”
“Jenna, this isn’
t working, and you know it.” His hand runs over my head. “You were not cut out for life the way I want it.”
“I can be. I’ve come so far, Rod. Don’t quit on me now. Please.”
I look up at him and it kills me to know I’ve made him cry. He sits on the bed and I climb onto his lap and we both take the paper in our hands.
It’s all we have. There is no marriage. There is no talk of love. This is it.
I gently take it from him and put it back in the drawer. My lips touch his cheek then I tell him, “Forever. Remember, Rod? That paper binds us forever.”
I move off his lap and take his boots off as he looks down and seems so sad and somewhat broken.
After I get his boots off, I take off his shirt and then undo his pants and pull at him to stand up. “Come on, baby. Let me give you a bath and then I’ll rub you down with some oils. After that I’ll make you some meatloaf.”
He follows me, but I feel something missing. The cockiness, the control, the strength.
And it makes me sick to my stomach that I did this to him.
What’s wrong with me?
Chapter 8
JENNA
The months have passed since our fight and things haven’t been the same. Rod’s been passive, and I feel like it’s only a matter of time until he ends this.
I broke something in him that day and it looks like no matter how hard I try to get things back to normal between us, I can’t.
I told Reed about the broken computer and he said to use one at the library so that won’t happen again. He told me to be very careful as he’s afraid if Rod catches me doing this then he might hurt me physically.
He told me to tell him if he does.
It made me feel bad for not being truthful with him. He’s doing so much for me and I’m lying to him. It feels wrong.
On a good note, I’m acing my classes and was able to take a few tests that gave me credit without having to take the actual classes.
Seems I am smart!
As I close out the tab for my English class on the library’s computer, my cell rings. It’s Rod, so I hurry to answer it. “Hey, sweetie.”
“Where the fuck are you, Jenna?” He sounds pissed.
I hurry out of the library as the librarian looks over her glasses at me with a scowl on her wrinkled old face. I try my best to ignore her and hurry out. “I’m on my way home. I took a walk. I was feeling kind of cooped up and needed some fresh air.”
Dirty News (Dirty Network Book 1) Page 76