by Noelle Adams
It was exciting, suffocating, and weakening, all in one. Yet, she found herself powerless or unwilling to avert her gaze. Another reason she’d agreed to marry Jack was that he never looked at her that way. Perhaps Jack never really looked at her, just through her and around her. He’d never seen her. She felt comfortable with him. Too comfortable.
Kaya let out the breath she’d been holding when Bryce took a step backward and shifted his gaze to the baby. In that spellbinding moment, Bryce had awakened something deep inside her. Curiosity? No. She told herself that it was antipathy. He was on a mission to destroy her. It would be in her best interest not to lose sight of that fact. His penetrating stare was one of intimidation. That was all it was.
She watched as he cradled Anastasia’s tiny head in one of his large hands and clasped the other around the scrawny little body. Ignoring the flailing arms and legs, he raised her close to his face and began to sing a song Kaya had never heard before.
Sweet baby child, hush, don’t you cry
Momma’s gone away for a little while
Soon she’ll be home with a bright happy smile
And she’ll hug and rock, her sweet baby child
Sweet baby child, hush, don’t you cry…
As she listened to the words that would never come to pass, tears pooled in Kaya’s eyes. Lauren was gone, not for a while, but forever. She would never kiss, nor hug, nor rock her sweet baby child again.
In the midst of her troubling thoughts, the deep, soothing rhythm of Bryce’s voice resonated through Kaya, melting away her fears and frustrations over his meddling.
She felt blessed relief.
The man could sing a fledgling from the safety and comfort of its nest, she thought, watching him pace back and forth with Anastasia in his arms. Luther Vandross had nothing on him. With a voice so beautiful, so touching, he could have been a star.
Anastasia apparently thought so, too, because as Bryce chanted the chorus over and over again, her screams eventually faded to an occasional hiccup and a series of soft, throaty gurgles.
He’d succeeded where she had failed.
“Yes, that’s it, sweetheart,” he cooed, gazing into the tiny face with the most tenderness and patience Kaya had ever seen in a man. “Uncle Bryce knows just what you need, doesn’t he?”
He settled her against his wide chest, his enormous hands supporting her back, his long brown fingers wrapping around the perimeter of her body. Kaya would never have dreamed a man holding a baby could look so irresistible. Especially a man she didn’t trust with that very same baby.
“That’s my baby,” he said as Anastasia blew out a bubble and gurgled at him. “You miss your mommy and daddy, don’t you? I know, darling. I miss them, too. But Uncle Bryce is home now. He’ll take good care of you, little Stasia. I will always be here for you. I promise from the bottom of my heart.”
He came to a halt in front of Kaya, sending a pleasant combination of masculine odor and baby powder up her nostrils. “You’re not taking these children out of Granite Falls,” he warned in a low, gruff tone. “This is their home. It’s where they belong and it’s where they’ll stay. Why don’t you make it easy on everyone, Kaya, and just sign them over to me? I know what they need.”
“That’s not what their parents wanted, Bryce. They named me legal guardian in their will.”
“Where there’s a will, Miss Brehna, there’s always a way to break it.”
Kaya folded her arms and stared up at him, not knowing whether he was referring to her heart’s will to take the children to Florida, or the legal document that gave her custody of them. Perhaps a little of both. “I don’t want to argue with you again, Bryce. At least not today,” she added, remembering what Libby had said, or not said about the “something awful” in his past.
“We don’t need to argue at all, Kaya. Just do what you know is best for them.”
Kaya strode to the east window overlooking the snow-covered hills of the White Mountain National Range. Apart from an immediate abundance of love and patience, she had no idea what was best. It took a lot of money to raise kids. She could remember her mother’s constant complaints about not having enough money for one thing or the other. And Nadine only had one child, plus she was receiving a monthly child support check from Kaya’s father.
She, on the other hand, had just inherited three. With formula, diapers, after-school, and daycare added to her rent and car payments, not to mention the emergencies that were sure to pop up every so often, Kaya knew that life as she’d known it was over. No more exclusive clothes and pricey shoes. No more eating out at expensive restaurants. No more weekend getaways. It was work, work, and more work from here on in.
She’d have to take on more customers and work longer hours. Her career required that she live in a big city where she had access to an infinite number of wealthy people and thriving businesses. Granite Falls was a wealthy, thriving town, she had to admit, but it was small. There wasn’t room for expansion up here in the mountains, and it was bitterly cold. Even if she sold her father’s jewel and stayed in Granite Falls, the money would run out eventually, and she’d be back to square one.
Florida was her only choice. She had to make Bryce understand the position she was in, and at the same time, find a way to establish a friendship with him for the children’s sake.
Three
“Where are Jason and Alyssa?”
Kaya turned around as the anticipated question broke into her thoughts. “Libby took them into town to see Ethan and Courtney. They needed some fresh air. I hope you don’t mind that they aren’t here.”
“Not at all. Freed me up for this little one. She needed special attention.” He smiled at the baby before looking Kaya up and down, quizzically. “Why are you wearing Lauren’s clothes? Don’t you have any of your own?”
Kaya pushed the oversized sleeves up her arms. “Since Anastasia’s been crying so much, Adrianna Bennett suggested I wear Lauren’s clothes to give Anastasia a sense of Lauren’s smell. She said it worked for her mother when she babysat her children.”
“Did it work for you?”
“Did it look like it was working when you barged in?” The mockery in his voice and eyes fueled her exasperation. “How did you get into the house, anyway? I know I locked the doors after Libby left.”
“I have a key. Mike and Lauren allowed me to go and come as I please. Do you have a problem with that?”
Kaya shrugged. “It’s your house.”
He closed the distance between them and glared down at her, his mouth taking on an unpleasant twist. She was quite taken aback when instead of delivering some curt remark, he merely held the baby out to her. “Would you like to hold her? Experience the feel of a happy baby in your arms?”
Kaya took a swift glance at Anastasia, who seemed quite content to remain where she was. “She might start screaming again. Maybe she’s allergic to me.”
He sat down on the wide window seat. “She just misses her mommy and daddy. You have to learn how to calm her.” He put his thighs together and placed Anastasia on her back, her head resting on his knees and her legs toward his belly. He began to rub her tummy in slow, circular motions. “She likes this position. It’s her favorite.”
What’s your favorite position, Mr. Fontaine?
Kaya shook her head, shocked as the question formulated in her mind. What was wrong with her? She’d never had these scandalous thoughts about any man before. Ever since she’d met Bryce this morning, he’d been making her feel things, want things that were foreign to her. And she didn’t even like the man.
The sight of his long fingers making circular motions on the baby’s tummy made Kaya’s knees weak. With a shudder, she dropped down on the windowsill, being careful not to sit too close to him. She couldn’t handle another surge of current ripping through her. The man exuded enough bolts to short-circuit her heart. “She seemed to like that lullaby you were singing to her,” she told Bryce. “I’ve never heard it before.”
“You wouldn’t have.” The sharpness in his black eyes dimmed a notch, and for a split second he looked as if he’d been transported back into a dark time in his life.
Did he lose a child? Kaya wondered. Was that the bad experience Libby had mentioned? If he’d lost a child, where was the mother? Had he lost her, too? Was he married? Her heart skipped a beat. No. If he was married, he would have a ring on his finger, and his wife would be in the pictures he’d taken with Lauren and her family. He wasn’t married. She knew she couldn’t ask him anything without giving Libby away, so Kaya tucked her questions away for another time. “It’s a beautiful song,” she said with a bright smile. “And Anastasia thinks so, too. Look at her, gurgling and happy.”
“Here, hold her,” he offered again, gathering Anastasia into his arms.
Still reveling in the peaceful moments, Kaya put up her hands to stay him. Once she learned that song and mastered the art of baby-tummy-rubbing, she would have plenty of time to enjoy a quiet baby, whereas his time with her was limited. “You seem to have a way with her. Or maybe you just have a way with all women, no matter the age, Mr. Fontaine.”
“I’ll let you be the judge of that if you stick around long enough, Miss Brehna.”
“Then I guess I’ll never know. The children and I are leaving for Palm Beach next week.” The moment the words left her mouth, she regretted them. He’d just saved her day. She could be a little more understanding, a bit more sympathetic to his feelings. “I’m sorry, Bryce. I shouldn’t have said that.”
He graced her with an unexpected smile. “It doesn’t matter, Kaya. You may be going back to Palm Beach, but these kids aren’t going anywhere.”
“You seem so sure of—” Kaya stopped at the sound of feet thundering down the hall. Jason and Alyssa were screaming Bryce’s name as they raced each other to the nursery.
“Here, you have to take her.”
She got Anastasia out of his arms mere seconds before two excited kids burst into the room and threw themselves at him.
“Oh, boy.” He fell to his knees and wrapped them in a big hug. “I’m glad somebody’s happy to see me.”
Kaya mouthed a thank-you to Libby, who waved a goodbye from the door before hurrying away.
“Did you bring me a present, Uncle Bryce? You promised you’d bring me a present,” Alyssa said.
“You sure know how to deflate a man’s ego, darling Alyssa.”
Kaya smiled as Bryce sat on the rug and settled the little girl on one thigh while Jason perched on the other, their arms linking around his shoulders.
“What’s an ego, Uncle Bryce?” Alyssa asked.
“Something you don’t have to worry about for a long, long time, my sweet.” He tweaked her nose between his thumb and forefinger.
“So, did you bring me a present?” Alyssa rocked impatiently back and forth.
“Am I merely a present uncle to you, Alyssa? Is that all I’m good for?”
“I’ll give you a one hundreds of kisses.” She slapped her hands on his cheeks and lathered his face with noisy smooches.
“Okay. Okay. Hold the saliva. I brought you a new doll. It’s in your room.”
“Cool. Wicked cool.” She skipped out of the nursery.
“Such a little manipulator.” He wiped at his wet face, his broad smile softening his dark features. “That one would do anything, say anything, to get what she wants.”
“I know. Last night she justified getting into my makeup by claiming she wanted to be pretty like me. She’s mischievous, but so adorable. You can’t help but love her.”
Bryce chuckled.
Kaya laughed out loud. It was endearing to see this jovial side of him brought out by the antics of a four-year-old girl. He reminded her of her father and the fun times they used to have before he disappeared from her life. She was just a few months older than Alyssa the last time she saw him. So young to lose the most important man in her life. It saddened her to know that Alyssa had to experience a more permanent loss, but she was consoled that her niece had her uncle Bryce to fill the void Michael’s absence had created.
Yes, there was a definite bond of love and trust between Bryce and his godchildren, she thought, easing into the big, comfy chair near the crib and arranging Anastasia on her lap as she’d seen Bryce do. If she took these children away from him, they would see her as the mean old dragon for breaking that bond, just as she’d thought of Nadine for driving her father away.
You’re nothing like Nadine. You would never hurt these kids. The fact that you are willing to fight for them proves you’re different.
“I brought you a present, too, Jason.” Bryce’s voice reclaimed Kaya’s attention.
“What?”
“A set of skate skis and a snowboard. They’re the fastest and most popular on the market. All the kids in Europe are going bonkers over them. They’re black and chrome. I think that’s the color you wanted.”
“Yes, it is. Thanks, Uncle Bryce. You’re the best.” He wrapped his arms about Bryce.
Bryce hugged him close, but the grim look on his face told Kaya that he dreaded the next few moments.
He cleared his throat. “So how are you, son?”
“I’m fine. Why didn’t Mommy and Daddy come home with you? Are they having too much fun on the Alps?”
Bryce inhaled deeply and sharply.
Kaya shuddered. Jason’s heart was about to be broken.
“Jason, your parents didn’t go to Switzerland with me.”
“Yes, they did. Daddy said he and Mommy had such a good time when we all went before that they were going back again. I know they’re still there. You left them there, like you left us the last time when you had to come back home for business. Right?”
Bryce hesitated, swallowing, as if fighting his own affirmation, as if trying to find the right words for the little boy who wanted so much to believe the impossible.
He took Jason’s hands in his, and stared into his eyes. “Jason, listen to me. Your mom and dad didn’t go to Europe with me this time. And I didn’t leave them behind. They were in a terrible car accident two days ago. They died, son. They died.”
“Noooo.” Jason shook his head, his eyes wide with negation. “Noooo. Why are you lying, Uncle Bryce? Mommy and Daddy aren’t dead! They wouldn’t ever leave us. They promised. They promised they would never leave us.”
“Have I ever lied to you, Jason?”
He shook his head.
“Then believe me now, son. Your mom and dad are really gone. They didn’t want to leave you and your sisters. They didn’t want to break their promise to you, but it wasn’t their fault. They’re not ever coming home, Jason,” he reiterated.
Jason closed his eyes and his lips trembled as the words sank into his heart, crushed his young soul. “Why?” he wailed, trying so hard to make sense of a loss he didn’t understand and couldn’t accept. “Why did they have to die? Did me and Lyssa and Stasia do something wrong?”
“No! You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why did God take them away from us? Why did He take the two of them? Couldn’t He have left us just one?”
“I don’t know, son? I don’t know.” Bryce’s voice trembled with his own anguish and helplessness.
Tears rolled down Kaya’s face as Bryce hugged the child to his chest. Jason’s astute questions rang in her ears. Why did God take both of them? He could have left them one. She had wondered the same thing. Why did they both have to die?
“It’s not fair.” Jason’s body rocked with sobs. “It’s not fair. I want my mom and my dad back, Uncle Bryce. Please, bring them back home.”
“I wish I could, Jase. I really wish I could.”
“I hate God. I hate Him for taking them away from us.”
Bryce pulled the boy’s hands from around his neck and stared into his face. “Jason, I never want to hear you say that again. Promise me you won’t.”
Jason swiped the back of his hand across his nose. “You told Daddy you hate G
od for taking Aunt Pilar from you. I want to be like you, Uncle Bryce. I want to hate Him, too.”
“No, you don’t. You don’t want to be like me. You cannot hate God. You hear me. You cannot hate Him.”
Jason ran out of the room, sobbing.
Kaya stared at Bryce. His face was contorted, and his hands were pressed against his temples as if he were trying to muffle noises in his head.
A cold knot formed in her stomach. Pilar was Bryce’s horrific experience.
Who was she? His sister? Lover? Wife? Whoever she was, her death had caused Bryce to hate God. He must have loved her deeply.
That’s why Michael and Lauren had left the children to her. As much as they loved Bryce, and as much as he loved them, they couldn’t leave their children to a man who hated a God they evidently believed in. Not that she was any better when it came to religious matters. She didn’t even attend church. She probably knew less about God than Bryce did, but she didn’t hate Him. She wasn’t that stupid to alienate the Almighty Power and bring His wrath down upon her.
With a shake of her head, Kaya pulled her wits together. Whatever had happened in Bryce’s past was his business. It was none of her concern. Her concern was that little boy who’d just declared that he wanted to be like his Uncle Bryce, the man he adored, the man who may very well replace his father in his young malleable life.
The man who hated God.
“Go on, say it.” Bryce was on his feet, glaring down at her.
“Say what?”
“That I’m an ungrateful rebel for hating God. I mean look at me. I’ve been blessed with more wealth than any one man should have a right to, and I still can’t enjoy it. Tell me I’m a horrible person. It’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?”
“No,” she answered, meeting his stormy gaze. “If you’re a rebel, you probably have a cause. As to you being ungrateful, I don’t know you well enough to make that assumption. You’re obviously hurt, angry—stuck in neutral, maybe. But I do know that you’re not a horrible person, Bryce Fontaine. These children love you. If you were as bad as you think you are, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Children are like that. They instinctively shun the bad and embrace the good.”