by Noelle Adams
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Bryce asked, brushing his knuckles along her cheeks. “I mean, after that initial rude invasion.”
“That was painful. But then you loved me so gently and carefully that soon my desire began to grow even stronger than before. I loved everything. I loved your fury, your passion. I love the way you master me, control me. I love giving myself entirely over to you. I trust you, Bryce.”
“I know you do.” His eyes darkened with emotion as they gazed into hers.
What Kaya really wanted to say was that she loved him. But once again, fear and embarrassment lodged the words in her throat. Overcome with shyness, she turned her head away from him and looked around the room he’d prepared for their reunion. He’d turned his penthouse into a romantic lover’s den, and Kaya wondered how many other women he’d brought here. How many satisfied lovers had lain in this very spot with him after a long session of lovemaking.
“Hey, what’s this?” he asked, placing his hand under her chin and turning her face back towards him as if he sensed she’d left him. His eyes bore into hers, searching out the deepest secrets of her soul.
Kaya wanted to cry. “I’m thirsty,” she said. At least it was the truth. “And a little hungry.”
His eyes narrowed as if he didn’t believe her and then he said, “Me, too.”
“Is it normal to be this hungry and thirsty after sex?”
“Only after good sex.”
“Good? Is that all it was?”
He groaned when she socked him in the side. “Okay. Okay. Exceptional, mind-blowing, knock-the-ball-way-out-of-the-park, blockbuster sex.”
She giggled and snuggled into him. The lighter side of him was a safe place for her to hang out. She couldn’t afford to get mushy around him. She didn’t want to pressure him, force him to tell her things he didn’t really feel. His desire for her was the one thing she knew he couldn’t lie about. “Do you think it will always be like this between us?”
His arms tightened around her. “I don’t think either of our bodies is equipped to handle this kind of lovemaking every single day. Three times a week at the most, but I promise we will make love frequently and that you’ll always enjoy it.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“You better.” He smiled. “Hold on.” Kaya clutched his shoulders as he pushed up to a sitting position, causing her to straddling him. “This is the next position we’ll try,” he said, his warm gaze making her skin tingle. “But we’ve gotta eat first. I have no strength left in me. You squeezed me dry.”
With a smile in her heart, Kaya rose to unsteady feet. As she stood over Bryce with her private parts inches away from his face, she jutted her hips at him and she said in wicked jest, “You can eat this.”
He leaned in and gave her a quick smooch right on her landing strip. “That’s dessert. But before we can get to that course, I need to order dinner. Anything special you want?”
She stepped aside to let him up. “Surprise me.”
He pushed to his feet and stood towering above her. “I’ll join you in the shower after I order dinner,” he said, smacking her playfully on her butt.
“Ohh, that feels good.” Kaya giggled.
“Yeah. Don’t give me any ideas,” he warned, stepping over to a side table and picking up the house phone.
With warmth spreading across her heart, Kaya headed for the stairs, surprised she could even walk straight.
***
Hours later, after they’d shared a delicious dinner of raw chilled oysters, an assortment of grilled vegetables, and Lobster Newberg as the main course, Bryce and Kaya sat huddled together on the sofa in his bedroom and watched the rainstorm through the windows that overlooked the White Mountain Range.
Kaya’s lips spread on a smile as she recalled the steamy shower she and Bryce had shared before dinner. She’d enjoyed the tender way he’d soaped her up and given her a thorough washing. She’d reciprocated, loving the feel of his smooth tight body under her palm as she lathered every inch of him.
He’d tried to ignore his mounting arousal, but when it became evident that it wouldn’t simple go away, he’d lifted her up in his arms and lowered her unto his hard heat. Kaya’s toes curled as she relived the memory of being shattered into a million glowing stars as Bryce’s raw sensuousness brought her to a satisfying climax.
He hadn’t sought release. His only desire, he’d said, was to please her. Kaya was quickly realizing that she had an incessant ache, a deep, constant craving for this man. It was shameful enough to bring a blush to her face. She wondered if it would always be like this, or if the novelty of making love with her husband would wear off.
Kaya couldn’t remember ever being this happy. Not since she was a little girl and her father used to sit with his arms around her, much like the way Bryce was holding her now. He reminded her so much of her daddy, who was just as huge in stature, but who had the biggest, gentlest heart she’d ever known.
Before Bryce, her father and Mrs. Jackson were the only two people in this world who’d been truly good to her. They were the only two people who’d told her they loved her and meant it, and now they were both gone. Kaya shuddered at the knowledge and a tear slipped past her lashes and landed on Bryce’s arm.
“Kaya,” he said, easing her away from his body to look into her eyes. “Baby what is it?”
“I was just thinking about my dad, and Mrs. Jackson, the only two people who ever cared about me.”
“I care about you.” His hands were steady and sure as they caressed her upper arms through her satin robe.
She had no doubt that he loved her body, but did he love her heart? “I mean when I was little.”
“Who’s Mrs. Jackson? A favorite teacher?”
“No. She was one of my foster mothers.”
Kaya watched Bryce’s chest rise and fall on a deep sigh. The fact that her heart wasn’t palpitating in her chest proved that the moment had arrived when she could trust him with her past. How could she not after what they shared today?
He settled back against the sofa and pulled her back into his arms. “You want to talk about it?”
“I think I’m ready.”
“Take your time. We have all night.” He tucked her snugly to his side and draped his arms about, offering her comfort and protection.
Kaya took a deep breath and rested her hands on Bryce’s thighs, feeling his strength and heat through his silk robe. “Jack was right about me spending time in juvenile detention, but it wasn’t for prostitution.”
Kaya waited for a gasp, a twitch of shock at her confession, but got nothing. She turned her head and gazed up at him. “Did you know?”
He nodded, his eyes sweeping her face apologetically. “After that fight in Steven’s office the day we met, I hired a detective. I was determined to use every means necessary to get custody of the kids, even if it meant bringing you down. Your record was sealed and I was ready to find a way to unseal it. But,” he continued, his voice holding a hint of shame, “after we kissed that night in the library, I burned it. I didn’t care anymore, because I think somewhere in the cold region of my heart, I knew we would end up where we are right now. Besides, hurting you would have hurt the kids. I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize. You were fighting for children you love. I wish I had somebody to fight for me when I was a little girl.” She settled back against him, reveling in the comfort and strength he offered her.
“Tell me about that little girl, Kaya. I want to know her.”
Kaya faltered on a smile. “She’s scared.”
“I’m holding her hand. Why did little Kaya spend time in juvenile detention?”
“She was arrested for shoplifting.” What a relief to get it off her chest. She hadn’t spoken about that dark period of her life since she walked out of that place, eleven years ago. The events had been sealed in her heart, just as surely as the records of her crime had been sealed by the court.
“What did she shoplift?�
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“Food.”
“Why?”
“She was hungry.”
He sat up again and held her hands while he gazed into her eyes. “Why was she hungry? Where was her mother?”
“She’d abandoned her.”
His eyes flashed anger. She lowered her gaze to his hand that covered hers on her lap. His touch was warm and comforting at first. Then, as the silence and his anger grew, his fingers tightened.
Kaya soaked up his compassion like an old, dried-out sponge that had been pulled from the broom closet and dunked into a tub of hot water. Nobody had ever stood up for her. Nobody had been surprised that her mother had simply walked off and left her. She was just another unwanted child in Florida’s child welfare system.
“Where was your father?” His grip loosened.
“He left when I was five years old.” It was so much easier to talk about him after reading Lauren’s letter. He’d done what he had to do. If her mother had turned him in, he would have gone to prison, and or perhaps deported since he wasn’t a citizen, and neither she nor Lauren would have known him. They may not have known each other and she would have never met Bryce, the one man in this world she knew she was born to love. “This morning Jason asked me to pack up his parents’ things and put them into storage.”
“He told me. It’s a good sign. He’s accepted you. He trusts you.”
She nodded. “I found a letter in Lauren’s closet that was addressed to me. You’ll understand our relationship and the secret about our father better if you read it.” She went to the table in a corner of the bedroom and withdrew the letter from her purse. “It was in a shoebox that contained some personal items of my father. It cleared up a lot of doubts and confusions I used to have about him. I don’t understand how the box survived the fire that destroyed their home,” she said, walking back to the sofa.
“When Lauren came to Granite Falls, she left some boxes in a storeroom at Fontaine Enterprises. She never got them until after they moved into L’etoile du Nord.”
“Lauren would have been heartbroken if she’d lost the only tangible memories she had of Daddy,” she said, handing Bryce the letter.
Kaya sat sideways on the sofa, close to Bryce and watched the play of emotions on his face as he read Lauren’s letter. When he folded it and handed it back to her, there were tears in his eyes. There were so many issues in that letter that they needed to discuss, but she felt she should address the most pressing one.
“They didn’t mean to hurt you by giving the children to me at first Bryce.” Kaya laid the letter on the coffee table. “Lauren wanted them to know the only family they had. She was giving me a second chance.”
“I think they were giving both of us second chances by not destroying the first will.” Bryce chuckled. “She tried to get me to meet you, you know?”
“Really?”
“Mm-hmm. She asked if it was okay if she sent you a picture of me. I said absolutely not.”
“Why? You didn’t think you would like me?”
“Kaya, as you know, I had the worst reputation with women. Up until eight weeks ago, I was a player, and I didn’t want to toy with Lauren’s little sister’s emotions. Our friendship would have been ruined when I ended it like I ended all my prior relationships.”
“You think you would have been able to walk away from me?”
His eyes caught and held hers. “I don’t know. It would have been very difficult, more difficult than any of the others. But I was in a different state of mind, a different level of maturity in my life. I think you and I came together at the right time. Any sooner, and it could have been disastrous.”
“Maybe you’re right. It wasn’t until after I met the kids that I realized I could love someone without fear of them leaving me.” She sighed. “Did you know about the condition in the second will prohibiting me from taking the kids out of Granite Falls?”
“I didn’t. I’m as surprised as you are.”
She believed him. “I guess their lawyer was only to reveal the condition if I got custody. What if I had?”
He stroked a finger down her cheek. “I still think we would have ended up exactly where we are.”
She smiled knowing that was a fact as well. “You remind me of my dad.”
He cocked his head. “Really? In what way?”
“The way you are with the kids. So patient, gentle, and devoted.”
“That’s a sweet compliment. Were you close to him before your patents split up?”
“Even after they split up. I used to see him every Sunday. We would go to the playground, the zoo, and the museum. Daddy loved to browse through museums. We used to have so much fun together.” She smiled easily at the few precious memories of spending time with her father. But just as quickly, it disappeared with thoughts of Nadine’s daily abuse. “My mother, on the other hand, was plain old mean. They fought constantly. It was usually about money. She always wanted more.”
A tear slipped from her eye as she recalled the day her father walked out of her life. “Daddy was the only happiness I had as a child. Nadine knew that. She couldn’t bear the thought of me being happy. She told me that he left because he didn’t love me, and I believed her, until this morning when I read Lauren’s letter. I spent so many years hating him for leaving me with her.”
“Your feelings were apropos. I can’t believe you and Lauren had no knowledge of each other’s existence. How did you finally find out about each other?”
“At Daddy’s funeral. I was twelve. Lauren was practically an adult.”
“You must have been shocked out of your minds.”
“We were. We didn’t quite know what to make of one another. I was jealous of her, because she’d been raised by the father who’d abandoned me and a mother who obviously loved her and was there for her. We exchanged telephone numbers, but then my mother left right after our father died. One night she went out with boyfriend-of-the-month and just never came back. When I woke up the next day, her clothes were gone. The child support check didn’t come that month, you see.”
“What did you do after she left?”
“I stayed in the apartment,” she said, burying her face in her hands for a moment. “Even though she’d been a despicable mother, I wanted to stay where she could find me, just in case she decided to come back. She was my mother, the only family I had.”
She shuddered as the sting of Nadine’s neglect ripped through her like an old wound that ached on a rainy day. “I was so stupid to think that her feelings for me would change.” She pushed to her feet and walked to the windows. The rain was coming down in torrents and Kaya felt that in some divine way, it was washing her hurts, her fears, and her anger away. She felt as if she were being reborn.
“You were just a little girl. You were scared,” Bryce said, following her, putting his arms about her. “It’s natural to want your mother at any age.”
Kaya folded her arms across her middle as her stomach quaked with the memories. “The food in the apartment ran out, then the phone and electricity were cut off. I managed without the phone and the lights, but food I couldn’t live without, naturally. It wasn’t so bad during the week. I had one of those free lunch cards. The weekends were horrible, though. When I couldn’t stand the hunger, I would go to the local supermarket and eat my belly full of fruit, bread, cheese, whatever was easily accessible. One day, the owner caught me sneaking out with a bottle of milk and a box of cereal. He called the cops and I was sent to a juvenile detention when they realized I had no one to take care of me. I had to stay there until my trial.”
“He pressed charges against you? A child?” Disbelief rang in his voice.
“He was tired of the local kids stealing from him. He was making an example out of me,” she said. “Luckily for me, my case worker knew the owner of the store and she persuaded him to drop the charges. Since my mother was nowhere to be found, I was placed in foster care.”
“Tell me about your life in foster care.”
/> “Some were good. Others not so good. I moved around a lot. During that time, my mother came back into the picture and wanted me, but my caseworker found out that the man she was living with was a registered sex offender. He’d done time for molesting a couple underage girls, so the courts denied her petition, and the two of them took off.”
“Dear God. To think of what could have happened to you if she’d won custody.”
Kaya shuddered in his arms. “I try not to think about it. I try no to think that my mother could have been that heartless and sick to barter me off to that man. Anyway, when I was sixteen, I was placed with Mrs. Jackson. She ran a catering business. She was nice to me and she taught me how to cook. I stayed with her even after I turned eighteen and was no longer a ward of the state. She helped me get my degree in interior decorating. She showed me that a woman doesn’t have to give birth to be a mother, and just because you gave birth, doesn’t make you one. She died a couple years ago.”
“I’m so sorry.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Did you ever try to find your mother?”
Kaya traced a finger down the cool surface of the glass. “I hired a P.I. once. I just wanted to know why she couldn’t love me, why she hated me so much. He found her in New Orleans dancing in a nightclub. She always wanted to be a dancer. She’s very beautiful. People used to say I look like her. Anyway, she told the P.I. that she didn’t have any children.”
“Oh, Kaya.” Bryce held her tightly to his chest, his body shaking on a sob. “I’m so, so sorry you had such a horrible childhood. I will make up for it. I promise, darling.” He turned her around and pressed her head into his chest, his tears falling on her face, melting into hers.
Kaya held on to him like her life depended on it. She had been abandoned and rejected so many times, by so many people—her father, her mother, her foster parents, and Jack. She couldn’t lose Bryce, too. She was so deeply and helplessly in love with him. He said he cared about her, but he couldn’t say he loved her, because deep down she knew he was still in love with Pilar.