by Noelle Adams
But best of all, Bryce’s nightmares had all but ceased, and last Sunday, his parents had enticed him to attend church with them.
They had all morphed into a wonderful, loving, happy family.
Yet, something was amiss.
Bryce had still not told Kaya that he loved her, even though he frequently showed her in countless ways, like jetting her off to Paris or Milan for a day or two and showering her with priceless jewelry. The one thing that touched her most, though, was his daily delivery of white and yellow orchids to the house. She knew he signed each card on a daily basis, because he would always refer to some event that happened the night before.
Why couldn’t he tell her that he loved her? Kaya wondered as she made a turn onto Evergreen Drive in downtown Granite Falls and spotted the steel and glass tower of Fontaine Enterprises looming ahead of her. Before Kaya could analyze her actions, she’d passed the street to the post office—the reason she’d come into town to sign for her father’s jewelry that she’d had sent from the bank in Palm Beach—and was heading toward Fontaine Enterprises.
Bryce had not come home last night, but had stayed at the penthouse. He’d reassured Kaya that all was well, and that he just had to concentrate on a huge international business deal that was to take place the next day. However, right on time, her orchids, with a card stating that he missed her, was delivered that morning.
As Kaya pulled into her personal parking space in the underground garage, next to Bryce’s silver-grey Lamborghini, her heart began to beat faster. As she walked toward the elevator, she felt like she was spying on her husband, but that thought was foolish since she’d surprised him many times in the past by showing up announced. He’d always welcomed her. This time would be no different.
Kaya stepped off the elevator onto the tenth-floor that housed the private quarters of the CEO of Fontaine Enterprises. In addition to several conference rooms, there were only three offices on this floor: Bryce’s, Elaine’s, and Libby’s.
Kaya strolled tentatively down a short hallway to discover that Elaine wasn’t at her desk. She checked her diamond watch. Well, it was noon. Both Elaine and Libby were probably at lunch. She glanced at Bryce’s half-opened door as knots formed in her stomach. Should she call and let him know she was here, or should she just barge right in? She stepped closer and male voices drifted from inside.
“I definitely think it’s the way to go, Bryce. I mean the Chinese are…”
Kaya smiled as she recognized Massimo Andretti’s voice. She’d met him at the last Club gathering that had taken place at the LaCrosse’s home. She’d instantly liked Massimo, or Mass as his friends called him. He was tall, wide-shouldered, and handsome like the rest of the gang, but his reputation with women far exceeded Bryce’s. Kaya had taken comfort in the knowledge that there was a bachelor who trumped her husband in infamy. She wondered about the woman who would dare to tame the Italian playboy’s heart. She almost felt sorry for her.
Feeling a sense of rightness, Kaya walked bravely through the door. Massimo stopped in mid-sentence and glanced up at her, his bright blue eyes and his smile warming her. He immediately got up from the table where he and Bryce were hunched over some piles of papers.
But when her husband turned around and let his dark gaze slide lazily over her, Kaya’s heart began to pound and her knees felt weak. She still couldn’t understand how he had the power to make her tremble every time she was near him.
He pushed to his feet and came toward her. “Darling, what a wonderful surprise.”
She melted into his arms, loving the smell and feel of him. “I hope my interruption doesn’t cause a problem. I know you’re very busy men running huge corporations.”
Bryce released her and stood back. “I think we covered all the bases for now,” he told Massimo. “We’re scheduled for another meeting with the Fonandt crew in a couple weeks. We’ll have more details then.”
Massimo walked toward them. “You look more beautiful each time I see you, Kaya.” He brought her hands to his lips and kissed the outsides of her wrists. “I haven’t seen my brother this happy in years. He’s a lot more pleasant to be around, and sports a stupid grin on his face all the time. You’ve worked wonderful magic on him.”
Kaya smiled shyly up at him and laced an arm around Bryce’s waist. She knew that grin very well. It was the grin of absolute happiness and complete carnal satisfaction. She wore it, too. “It’s what a good wife does for her husband. You should get one, Mass.”
The grins on the men’s faces vanished as they exchanged wary glances.
“That’s my cue to leave. Catch you later, buddy,” Massimo told Bryce. He bowed courteously to Kaya before practically running out of the office.
“Did I say something wrong?” Kaya asked as Bryce closed the door and locked it as he always did when she visited him.
“It’s a long story. And I’m forbidden to talk about it.” He took her hand and led her across the spacious room toward the couch.
“Even to your wife?” As they passed his desk, Kaya tossed her purse on it. Hopefully, she’d be hunched over it later with Bryce pumping inside her from behind.
“I’m sorry, darling, but I can’t discuss it with you. It’s Massimo’s business, nothing to do with us,” he said, pulling her down on the couch beside him and wrapping one arm about her while holding her hands with his left. “Now, to what do I owe the honor of this wonderful surprise visit?” He leaned over and kissed her on the lips, his face breaking into the stupid grin Massimo had just mentioned.
Kaya knew that in a minute or two, they’d be naked on the couch. They were incapable of keeping their hands off of each other when they were alone. Her body quivered with anticipation, and moisture gathered between her legs. “I missed you last night, and since I came into town to pick up that package from the post office, I thought I’d— Oh my God,” Kaya whispered as she glanced down at Bryce’s hand on her lap. The ring on his finger wasn’t the one she’d put there. Without being told, she knew that it was the one Pilar had given him over five years ago. No wonder he couldn’t tell her that he loved her. He was still in love with Pilar.
The mountain of desire that had been building inside Kaya crumbled into dust.
How could she have been so stupid to think that she could make him forget his first love? Tears welled up in her eyes. She fought out of Bryce’s embrace and struggled to her feet, stepping back to put distance between them. She couldn’t bear to be near him right now. Her stomach crunched up in painful little knots, and blood rushed to her heart and lungs, making breathing painful and difficult. She felt as if she was about to explode, or faint, or vomit, or all three together.
Bryce pushed to his feet. “Kaya, what is it? What’s wrong?” He reached out to her.
She jumped back, bumping into his desk. “Don’t touch me!”
“Kaya. What is the matter with you?”
“You’re still in love with her,” she said, glaring at him through her tears as she pushed the words past the scorching pain in her throat. “You’re still in love with Pilar. You’re wearing her ring, Bryce. You took mine off, and you’re wearing hers.” She dropped weakly against the edge of his desk and covered her face with her hands.
Bryce stared down at his finger as the sounds of his wife’s sobs tore into his chest and his gut, and ripped his heart wide open. Damn! How could he have been so careless as to wear Pilar’s ring to work? How could he be so stupid and insensitive to be wearing it at all?
Over the past weeks, Kaya’s love for him had taken him to heights of ecstasy that he never dreamed he’d experience again. In fact, they had taken him beyond any he’d ever experienced before. At first, he’d thought that it was just the amazing sex, the undying fire and unquenchable lust between them, but as the days turned into weeks, and months, Bryce had come to realize that in addition to Kaya’s exquisite little body, her tantalizing touches, and her mesmerizing smile, it was her warm heart, her pure mind, her vivacious spirit, and her vi
rtuous soul that had captured him.
He was hopelessly and undeniably in love with her.
Bryce ripped the ring from his finger and tossed it on the table where it rolled before nestling between the piles of paper. Damn it! He hadn’t worn it for weeks, but yesterday had marked the six-year anniversary of Pilar’s death.
He’d wanted to mourn her alone, the way he’d done for the past five years. That’s why he hadn’t slept at L’etoile du Nord last night. How could he lie in Kaya’s arms at approximately the same hour, six years ago, when Pilar had lain dying in his arms?
It didn’t seem right, fair. He’d just wanted to let Pilar know that he hadn’t forgotten her like everyone else had, that even though he’d moved on, she would forever be in his heart. He’d always been so careful to return the ring to its secret place in the drawer of his nightstand. Perhaps he was wrong to omit Kaya from that part of his life, keep secrets from her.
Bryce’s hands clenched into tight fists at his sides, as he watched his wife slumped against the desk. Her sobs had ceased and her face was still buried in her hands, and an occasional shudder rocked her lithe body. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms, tell her how much he loved her, but he was afraid, afraid she’d reject him, and they’d be right back to where they’d started months ago. He never wanted to hear her say “Don’t touch me” ever again.
“Kaya,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this. It’s just that—”
He stopped when she raised her face and stared at him. Icy fear twisted around Bryce’s heart when he saw the pain and dread in her eyes. The only other time he’d seen that look in her was the moment she’d found out that he had custody of the children. That moment, Bryce had sworn that he’d never cause her that kind of pain and distress again.
But he had, and it horrified him. It made him feel as small as a bug to have hurt her.
“It’s what, Bryce?” she asked in a choked whisper. “It’s just that you still love Pilar, and it’s the reason you’ve never told me that you love me?”
“Kaya, I…” He let his voice trail off. She was right. He’d never told her that he loved her because he was afraid to. He’d told Pilar every single day that he loved her. It was the last thing he said at nights, and the first thing in the mornings. After she died, Bryce had wondered if he’d loved her too much. Was fate jealous and had decided to punish him for loving another so deeply?
He’d known for certain that he loved Kaya when he’d walked into the nursery the day they met and found her holding a screaming Anastasia. She looked awkward and scared and had no idea what she was doing, but yet Bryce had looked far into the future and seen a more experienced, confident Kaya, comforting their own baby in that very room. When she’d squirmed uncomfortably while he explained the varying textures and sizes of nipples, he was ready to plant his seed inside her and watch her belly grow with it.
And now here he was, about to blow that dream to hell.
He took a step forward, his fingers itching to soothe her damp curls away from her face, the way he always did after they made love. “Kaya, you know how I feel about you.”
“Then why can’t you tell me, Bryce? Why can’t you tell me you love me?” She glanced at his hand.
He held it up and pointed to his ring finger. “I took it off.”
She uncurled from the desk, unmoved, and tucked her hair behind her ears. She straightened her shoulders, an air of sophistication and confidence in her countenance. Her brown eyes were full of life, pain, and unquenchable warmth as she held his captive. “Bryce, I know a part of your heart will always belong to Pilar, and I don’t begrudge her that. But I will not have you longing for her, wishing she were still alive, and lamenting over what could have been. I will not share you with her, not in that way.” She swallowed. “I told you that I loved you the first time we made love. I don’t know if you heard me or not.”
Bryce decided that now would not be a good time to admit or deny that he’d heard her.
She sighed deeply, and even in her state of displeasure with him, a gentle softness deepened her voice. “I love you, Bryce Fontaine. I love you with every beat of my heart, every inch of my skin, every thought of my mind, and every light of my soul. I love you.”
Bryce closed his eyes as her words washed over him, bathing him in divine wonder, bliss, happiness. “Kaya—” His voice and body trembled.
“But as I said, I will not share you in that way with Pilar. You have to choose, Bryce. You have to choose whose wedding ring you want to wear. You can’t switch back and forth between us.”
“Kaya, I don’t—”
She put her hands up to stop him. “Anything you say right now will seem contrived. I don’t know why you took off my ring and put on Pilar’s. Only you know the reason. So whatever it is, you need to fix it, deal with it. Get over it. Do whatever you need to do, but don’t come home until it’s done, until you’re ready to tell me that you love me, give yourself to me completely. You promised to love me, forsaking all others—that includes Pilar. You have to prove that you meant it.” She picked up her purse from his desk and stumbled toward the door, her stifled sob twirling about the air in her wake.
Bryce watched helplessly as his wife walked out of his office. He stumbled backwards onto the sofa, holding his chest as a tightening gripped his heart. At least she didn’t tell him not to come home, just not to come home until he could be completely and openly honest with her.
He couldn’t lose her. She was his world. All she had to do was smile at him, slip her small hands into his, and the universe melted away. Love wasn’t an invitation to heartbreak. It was the doorway to happiness.
Bryce pushed to his feet and walked over to the table where he’d tossed Pilar’s ring. He picked it up and folding his fist around it, he walked out of his office.
Eighteen
The morning sun was bright and the breeze coming off Lake Michigan was pleasantly cool for a Chicago spring. Adjusting his sunglasses, Bryce climbed out of his rental car and skimmed the perimeter of the cemetery, happy there was no one in sight. People didn’t usually visit cemeteries in the middle of the week and this early in the morning, especially after an unexpected early-spring snowstorm like the one they had last night.
He went to the passenger side, picked up a bouquet of roses and a screwdriver from the front seat, then taking a deep breath, he began walking down Celestial Path, paying little attention to the snow-dusted monuments and statues along the way. He would have buried her in Granite Falls, but her parents wanted her in Chicago. He’d obliged, since in all fairness, he hadn’t known her that long.
His heart beat faster and his pace grew slower at each step he took toward her grave. Part of him wanted to turn back, to keep holding on, never let go of what they had, of what they could have been. Another part propelled him forward, the part that wanted to live, to move on, to be happy once again.
Finally, he reached the grave under a poplar tree where Celestial Path and Happy Avenue intersected. What genius named these roads? Bryce wondered, pushing the screwdriver into the side pocket of his wool coat. And what had enticed him to bury Pilar here, in this very spot?
He’d spent the past three days in his hotel room, mustering up the courage to visit the resting place of his wife and child. He’d been here several times over the past six years to reassure them that he still loved them, that he carried them in his heart every day. Today, he’d come to say goodbye.
He bent down and brushed a fresh layer of snow off the tombstone, then placed the roses below the inscription on the headstone: Pilar Sanchez-Fontaine and Unborn Child. Beloved Wife. Beautiful Daughter and Sister.
Bryce swallowed a moan as tears burned his eyes. She would have been a great mother if she’d only been given the chance. She’d been so excited when she’d called him that night.
“Hurry home, darling. I have something to tell you. Something that would make you very happy.”
“Did you finally de
cide on the right color tile for our bathroom?” he teased. She’d been so indecisive about what to do with the master suite.
“This is even better.”
“So tell me.”
“It’s a surprise and I’d rather tell you in person.”
“Pilar, you know I hate surprises.”
“You’ll love this one. I promise.”
Bryce shook his head, and pulled off his sunglasses, shaking his tears off the frame. He’d been living in the past for too long. He had to move forward. Standing upright, he pushed his hand in the pocket of his slacks and pulled out the wedding band. He held it in the palm of his hand, and the white gold coruscated against the sunlight, almost blinding him.
He closed his fist around it.
“I told you I would love you forever. And I will. Just not in the same way I did when you were here with me. You see, darling, there’s someone else. I— I— um, I married someone not too long ago. She’s sweet— like you were. She loves me, and she makes me happy. I love her, too. Problem is, I can’t tell her how I feel until I let you go.”
He chuckled on a sniffle. “You know me. I’m a one-woman man. When I’m with a woman, I’m with her, and no one else. I kept my promise for as long as I could, Pilar. I don’t want to lose Kaya. Yes, that’s her name. Kaya. Kaya Brehna-Fontaine. She’s Lauren’s sister. Half-sister. You would have liked her.”
What was he saying? His late wife would have liked his current wife, the woman he loves?
He pulled the screwdriver from his pocket and began to dig a hole where the tombstone and the hard ground met. When he was satisfied that it was deep enough to protect against vandalism, he dropped in the wedding band and covered it up. He would be back when the snow melted and the ground softened to give it a permanent burial.