by Aden Lowe
I climbed onto the bed beside him, taking in all the masculine perfection that made up Trick. What felt right? One cautious finger traced around the rim of his penis, and followed the veins to the base, while he groaned in appreciation and thrust his hips for more.
Emboldened by his response, I circled the base with my fingers and stroked a little, finding a sort of rhythm with his thrusts.
"Fuck, baby, tighter." His strangled words made me smile.
I tightened my grip and followed the earlier path of my fingers with my tongue. Soon that wasn't enough. I opened wide and took him all the way into my mouth. Immediately his hands sank into my hair, and he helped me move up and down in time with his shallow thrusts.
"Baby, if you don't stop, I'm going to come now." He spoke through gritted teeth, the veins in his neck standing out from the strain of holding back.
"No. Not yet." Reluctantly, I released him, but then climbed up to straddle his hips.
"Shit, baby, condom. I don't have any more."
"I'm on the Pill, and I'm clean. I had my checkup two weeks ago, and I haven't been with anyone since."
"Thank fuck, I'm clean, too. I was tested a few weeks ago after an injury, and haven't been with anyone since then." He groaned. "Are you sure, Lauren? This is a big thing."
Yes, it was. I'd never trusted a man to be inside me without a barrier. But Trick? I trusted him. Instead of answering, I positioned myself carefully above him and lowered myself to take him inside.
Chapter twenty-four
The next five days passed in preparation and planning, and making love to Lauren. She fucking blew me away, and although it terrified me, I knew exactly how I felt about her. Sure it was too soon. I knew that. Didn't help matters any, though. While I thought I was protecting her, doing my job, I'd gone and fucking fallen in love with her.
None of that really changed anything though. I still had to walk away when she was finally safe. The whole thing forced me to seriously evaluate myself. Financially, I was doing okay. I had the place, a dozen acres in the middle of nowhere, and the house and buildings, and a little nest egg, too. And that's where I stopped being good relationship material.
My job meant I left home with no notice, for long periods of time. It also meant I had to keep my identity secret, keep a low profile. And it could mean she would be in danger just because I cared for her. Through various missions, I made some powerful enemies. And I couldn't see myself doing anything different, not right now. Being a soldier was all I knew. And it wasn't like I really had a choice, anyway.
I couldn't ask her to endure all that, and I couldn't ask her to wait until I eventually had to do something else. So, yeah, I had no future to offer her. And still, I made love with her, took all she would give me, knowing it had to end. What kind of man did that make me? Not a good one, for sure.
When X-Man came in and said the story had died out, replaced by another mass shooting, it was time to make our move. I wanted to stay at Prater's cabin, and have more time with Lauren, but I couldn't justify it. We had to go, or risk failing altogether.
So, we all got into the disguises, and took the four-wheelers to Prater's house, where an old beater van waited. We had a roughly twenty-four-hour drive ahead if we went straight through. And then we had to find a place to lay low while we put things in motion. If we survived long enough.
By the time we got to Prater's, it was already late in the day. X and Flag had been up most of the night as well, making sure we were in the clear for the time being, so I took the first shift driving. Lauren rode shotgun, and X-Man and Flag sacked out in the back.
She rode quietly for the first hour or so, staring out the window without seeing. Preoccupied. She finally seemed to work out whatever thoughts bothered her. "Trick?"
"Yeah?" I reached over for her hand where it rested on her leg.
She cleared her throat. "What comes after this? For us, I mean?" The worry in her voice wrenched my heart. "I shouldn't even bring it up. Forget I said anything. No strings."
Fuck. I'd dreaded this talk. Thought I could put it off until the last minute. How the hell could I tell her the truth? I had to try, anyway. "Baby, I truly wish I could offer you forever, not that you would even want that. But I don't have a future to give anyone."
Her fingers tightened in mine. "What do you mean, you don't have a future? Are you…"
Shit. "No, I'm not sick, or anything like that. It might be easier if that was the case." I sighed. "Lauren, I'm a mercenary soldier. Missions come along, I go. And at any given time, I might not come back."
"Oh."
What a prick. I could practically feel the wheels turning in her head, trying to evaluate her importance to me. And I couldn't tell her the fucking truth. Even if I knew how to do anything else, I had an obligation. No, that wasn't the right word for it. I had a master, the same as all the Unwanteds. In return for not being court martialed, or killed outright, we took whatever missions they gave us. And no one got out alive.
I let silence fall again, but I kept Lauren's hand, stroking the back of her knuckles with my thumb. How the fuck was I going to turn my back on her?
Around the five hour mark, I exited the interstate and pulled into a twenty-four-hour convenience store. We needed gas and I had to piss like a damn horse, not to mention being tired as hell and needing to stretch.
Flag and X roused up as soon as I turned the engine off. "Everything alright, man?" Flag cast a significant glance to where Lauren disappeared into the store.
I sighed, and started inside to prepay the gas. "Not really. I'm fucking crazy for her, and can't do a goddamn thing about it."
He fell in alongside me, while X stayed with the van. "I figured that out already. Now what are you going to do?"
I shrugged. "I'm going to get her safe, and walk away. Let her get on with the life she's supposed to have."
Flag caught my arm and stopped in his tracks. "You have to be the densest motherfucker I've ever seen. You don't walk away from shit like what you got with her. You find a way to make it work."
I started walking again. "Well, considering the only way out is death, I just don't see much of a way to have it." I grabbed the door and pulled it open with enough force to break the door closer mechanism at the top. "Well, fuck."
He followed me inside. "You best keep thinking, brother. You give up too easy." He slapped my shoulder. "See you outside." He continued on toward the men's room, while I stopped at the register.
I walked back to the van, thinking over his words. What the hell was he talking about? The phrase gives up easily hardly described me. Over the last week, I'd thought the situation through every possible scenario. None worked. The most possible—finding a way out of the country and hiding out the rest of my life—held only a very slim chance for success.
I was hardly the first in the history of the Unwanteds to want out. Others had tried. And died for the trouble. The gas pump took forever to get started, pissing me off. Flag made no sense, and that pissed me off more. What the fuck? If it were so easy, why the hell was he still one of us?
The rest of my life, the regular mercenary shit, I could leave. It didn't matter to me. It was only a way to earn a living, and keep my skills sharp, because when the Unwanted Soldiers were called out, we better be on top of our shit. Otherwise, we ended up in an unmarked grave in whichever hellhole they sent us to. For the few who still had family, no notifications, no presidential letters of condolence, nothing. We simply ceased to exist.
The pump clicked off, interrupting my thoughts. Fuck it. I needed to just focus on the mission. The rest couldn't and wouldn't work. No use wasting time thinking about it and wishing.
Everyone finished with restroom visits and snack purchases, and we headed out again, this time with Flag driving, and X riding shotgun. Lauren and I went to the rear bench seat, where I could hold her, and wish for a different ending.
At some point, I dozed off, only to dream of a future with Lauren. I saw it so clearly.
She was in the kitchen at my house, smiling, glowing, and her belly was big with my child.
I woke up with a start. Where the fuck had that come from? I'd never considered kids before. Family and mercenary just wouldn't mix. Oil and water. I tried to put the image out of my mind, and failed miserably. Especially with her right there in my arms, her head pillowed on my shoulder, her hair tickling my neck.
Eventually, I must have fallen asleep again, because the next time I opened my eyes, the sun nearly blinded me. We had stopped again, at a fast food place.
"Wake up, sleeping beauties. Breakfast time." X-Man grinned back at me. "What do you want?"
I woke Lauren gently, and we gave X our orders, and he went inside to get everything.
Flag switched to the shotgun seat, then turned to speak to us. "Trick, you give any more thought to what we talked about?"
A harsh laugh escaped. "Yeah, that's about all I've been thinking about. And there's simply no way to do it." I wished to fuck there was.
He shook his head. "Yeah, there's a way."
"You're ate up in the head."
"Maybe, but there's two ways you can make shit work." Flag grinned at me. "You either fucking man up and accept life as it is, or you play dead."
What the hell was he talking about? "Play dead, huh?"
Lauren watched back and forth with interest. "Trick, are you in some kind of trouble? Is that what you meant by not having a future?"
The backs of her knuckles needed kissed, and I made sure to take care of that. It gave me time to formulate an answer. "I guess you could say that. I'm locked into this, can't get out alive. They call, I go."
The way her mouth tightened, as if in anger, worried me. "Trick, you don't have to make excuses. I'm not going to try and force you into a future you don't want. This week has been amazing, but it doesn't have to go any further." Tears welled in the corners of her eyes and she angrily brushed them away. "Damn it, I swore I wouldn't do this."
The hurt, and anger, in her eyes tore me up. I couldn't let her think I didn't care for her. But if I told her the truth, she would hold onto something that couldn't happen. "You would be miserable with me, Lauren. I care too much to do that to you."
She pulled away suddenly and slid to the far side of the seat. "Forget it." She refused to speak to me after that. Wouldn't even look in my direction.
X-Man returned with the food, and we ate in silence, then hit the road again. Long hours passed, and I took another turn at driving. Eventually, we rolled into DC in the middle of the afternoon.
A little, cheap motel seemed like the best way to go for holing up. We found a rundown place that looked like it catered mostly to long-term residents. Several doors had ratty looking lawn chairs beside them, and totes of belongings.
I got volunteered to go inside and get us a couple of rooms. The office stank of sweat and other things best not examined too closely. A massively obese person of indeterminate gender sat behind a low counter. Black eyes peered at me from between rolls.
"What do you want?"
Well, that was great customer service. "I need two rooms adjacent to each other. Week in advance."
The person turned, with massive effort and enough moans and groans for a porn studio, and flipped through some papers. "Fill this out. I need driver's license and credit card."
"I'm paying cash and I don't have a driver's license." We chose the little place specifically to avoid those necessities.
The beady black gaze flicked over me, and what might have been a sneer twisted the face. "I wasn't born yesterday. You ain't got ID, I need security."
"What kind of security?"
This time, there was no mistaking the big grin that spread over the face, showing startlingly perfect teeth. "Tell ya what. The lowlifes in one-thirty-one owe me two weeks. You convince them to leave, or pay, I'll waive the ID requirement."
"Convince them to leave, huh? Sounds simple enough." More like it sounded like trouble. I weighed our options. I could tell the clerk to fuck off, and we could find another place, but we were all exhausted, needing sleep, and this was the ideal location for what we had in mind. We were also unlikely to attract any unwanted attention in a place like this. Okay. Worth the risk. "Okay, I get rid of one-thirty-one, or get them to pay up, you waive the ID and we get a discount."
"What kind of discount?"
"The kind where the rooms show vacant on the register, just in case somebody came snooping around."
"Deal."
I paid a week up front, hoping we wouldn't need half of that. The sooner I ensured Lauren's safety, the sooner I could escape the pain in her eyes, and the misery that sat like a boulder on my chest.
The occupant of room one-thirty-one turned out to be a couple of young boys, probably not even legal, who lived by hustling and selling their asses when they had to. Flag made an arrangement with them where we paid their back rent on the room, plus a week, and they acted as look-outs and informants for us. It seemed like a win-win. Not to mention, it made the clerk happy.
Lauren spent a long time in the shower when we got checked in, then climbed into the bed and passed out. I wasn't far behind. The trip up from Texas had been exhausting, and we needed to be sharp over the next few days.
The slightest slip, and Richardson, Tabitha, or both, would get their hands on us, and we would all disappear. Richardson turned Lauren's disappearance into a winning strategy, and little doubt existed that he would secure the nomination. Bastard was not going to risk having his wayward ex-girlfriend turn up to tell the whole story to the world. Imagining how good it would feel to have my hands around Richardson's throat, choking the life from him, I dozed off.
Chapter twenty-five
Heavy dread sat on me as I woke in unfamiliar surroundings. Today was the day. The plan to expose Jared for what he was, and bring Tabitha to justice, would be put in motion, and begin the process of Trick leaving me. Every time I thought of a future without him, a burning lump stuck in my throat. And yet, I had no choice. He didn't want a future with me. Nothing I said convinced him.
Even Flag and X-Man seemed disgusted with Trick's defeatist attitude. Flag insisted a way existed, but Trick wouldn't even hear him out. X-Man noticed my sadness, and offered a sympathetic hug. While Trick tore my heart out, the other two became valued friends.
Flag brought me a coffee while we waited for Trick and X-Man to return from meeting with someone who apparently possessed information they needed. "Be patient with him, Lauren, if you really care. Trick's a good man, but he has trouble seeing what's right in front of him sometimes. He'll come around."
I shook my head, and accepted the coffee. "I don't think so. He has no faith that I could be strong enough to be part of his life."
"There's a lot you don't know, and it's not mine to tell, but I will say give him time to get used to the idea. Boy's been through a lot in a short period of time, things that rocked the foundations of everything he thought he knew and believed in." He sipped his own coffee. "He'll figure shit out."
I didn't feel like talking about it anymore. "How do you think Jared will react when he finds out I'm back?"
Flag's chuckle came as a surprise. "Fucker will be beside himself. He practically holds the keys to the White House, and now that he can't control you, or what you say, you can snatch those keys away in a heartbeat."
The image his words conjured up made me smile. "Do you really think this will work?"
"Yeah, I do." The serious side of him was more familiar. "We'll get them both, along with whoever was helping Tabitha, in one shot."
It made me nervous. The plan called for me to act as bait, in a way. "It seems risky."
"Foolproof plans never work out. Risky is far better, keeps you on your toes. You just remember you trust absolutely no one, other than Trick, X, and me. You'll be fine." The chair he dropped into was dwarfed, even though Flag wasn't huge. He just had a larger than life presence.
"That makes sense, I guess." Tired, and maybe more than
a little depressed, I turned the TV on, choosing a local station. Maybe there would be news.
Maybe I fell asleep, or just got lost in daydreams of a future with Trick, but Jared's voice from the TV brought me fully awake. "…must enact legislation to keep our most vulnerable citizens safe."
The newscaster cut in. "Senator Richardson, the presumptive Republican nominee, is speaking at a charity fundraiser tomorrow. Several domestic violence prevention organizations have joined together for a national effort to educate, and reduce the incidence of spousal, and child, abuse. Senator Richardson has become a leading proponent of the campaign, and says he supports legislation that would make it easier for women to escape abusive relationships. Details on the proposed legislation are not available at this time." The handsome face gave a dramatic pause, then went on to another story.
I sat up, trying to contain my nausea. The very idea of Jared pretending to care about abused women and children infuriated me. It was ludicrous. My stomach made more serious threats, and I raced for the bathroom despite the pain in my foot, reaching it just in time.
Flag came in behind me as I knelt in front of the toilet, emptying my stomach. His soothing hand on my shoulder helped a little. "Here. Wipe your face. It'll help." He pressed a cold washcloth into my hand.
I followed directions, and found he was right. The cold water on my face and neck soothed my stomach a little. I rinsed my mouth, brushed my teeth, and cautiously left the bathroom.
"I must be coming down with something." I'd never been sick like that, just out of the blue.
"You doing okay now?"
I thought about it. My stomach seemed fine now, and although fatigue dragged at my muscles, nothing else felt wrong. "I think so. I'm really tired, though."
"Get some rest while you can. Trick and X will be back in a couple hours. Things could get kind of hectic then."
I nodded, and decided to take his suggestion. The same bed that seemed lumpy and worn out before suddenly felt like lying on a cloud.