“Oh, I’m just telling him the good parts of the story. Not the boring ones. I want to entertain him and have him anxious for the next installment.”
“Billy joined you willingly so it seems to be working. Where did you learn about babies? You handle Lucy like her own mother would have.”
Genny paused for a moment and looked down into her tea cup again—the only safe place to look. Talking about Martha made her breath tight in her chest.
Stuart must have sensed her discomfort and the cause of her hesitation.
“Talking about Martha doesn’t really bother me. It’s a good way to keep her memory alive.”
She nodded. “That’s a good attitude. I cared for the babies at the orphanage because I was the oldest child. I was already five when my parents or whoever dropped me off there. Too old for most people to adopt. They want babies. And we got plenty of babies with two or three left every week. They didn’t stay long, though. Usually only a few days, maybe a couple of weeks, but I loved every one. When they were adopted I was always torn up, and yet I was happy too, when each one left to go to a family. A real family.”
“Don’t you remember any time from before the orphanage?”
“No, the nuns said I was either too young or I’ve forgotten on purpose.”
“Maybe that was for the best.”
“Yes. Maybe. I’ve never told anyone about the orphanage. Even my best friends didn’t know the details, only that I came from there.”
Stuart put his cup in the saucer. “I’m honored. Let’s go back to bed and get some sleep.”
Genny picked up both of their tea things and set them in the sink. “All right. I’ll give it a try. I should be exhausted but I can’t seem to relax. It’s so quiet here. Back in Lawrence I’d hear clip-clop of horses going by or the trains whistle in the distance or the late shift of the factories going home. I’ll have to get used to the silence here.”
“I’m sure you will in time. And you’ll get used to sleeping with me…in time. You’ll learn. There’s a lot I can’t and won’t give you, knowledge about life on a ranch isn’t part of that.”
CHAPTER 4
The next morning Genny didn’t do well at all. She couldn’t get any milk from Bessie. Pull and squeeze as hard as she dared—nothing came out.
“All right, let’s try this again.”
Stuart made the statement with the utmost patience. He had more patience with Genny than she did with herself.
“Stuart, please don’t make me do this. I’ll hurt her.”
He laughed. “Is that what is bothering you? You won’t hurt her.”
She frowned. “Are you sure?”
“What will hurt her is if we don’t get that milk out.”
Genny’s eyes widened. “Really? I didn’t know.”
“She makes milk every day. If the milk isn’t drained by milking it backs up and causes great pain.”
Genny took a deep breath. “All right. I’ll try again.”
She nudged the udder with her fist, as Stuart had showed her, then pulled and squeezed hard, this time not worrying about hurting the cow.
A dribble of milk came out and landed on the dirt floor.
Genny turned and grinned at Stuart.
He nodded. “I think you’ve got it.”
Returning her attention to the cow, she squeezed and pulled in earnest. Milk flowed from the teats and Genny was thrilled. After the first few squirts, Stuart placed the pail under the animal’s udder and Genny milked until the pail was full.
“Do you have another pail or do you stop with one?”
“Each of the cows gives us about a pail per day and we have four cows.”
“Four! Are you out of your mind?” Genny shook her head. “You had her staked out here, I thought there was only Bessie. I don’t have time to milk four cows. I have to get the children up and dressed and fed. I can do the first one, but you’ll have to do the rest.”
Stuart, squatting next to her one knee on the ground, leaned back. “I’m not making you milk the cows, but you need to know how to do it in case you have to one day.”
She calmed a bit.
“Oh, well I guess that makes sense.”
She stood from the milking stool and pressed her hands to the small of her back.
Stuart stood with her.
“You have grit. I like that.” He cocked an eyebrow. “To an extent.”
She accepted the compliment, such as it was, thinking they would be few and far between. “Try and get me to do something really disgusting and see how much grit I’ve got.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. In the mean-time, let’s get this to the house so Nettie can get started on breakfast. She still has to strain the milk through cheese cloth before it gets put in the icehouse.”
“I never knew there was so much to getting milk.”
“What did you think happened? That it just magically appeared in the glass bottles?”
She shrugged. “I never gave it much thought.”
Stuart shook his head. “City folk.”
They walked to the house from the barn. In between the two buildings were the bunkhouse, the icehouse, the chicken coop, the pump house with the windmill, and the outhouse. The smokehouse and pig-sty were on the other side of the barn and hopefully downwind of the house.
They had no sooner entered the kitchen when Genny heard Lucy cry.
Stuart put the milk on the counter and they both turned toward the stairs.
Stuart stopped.
“I don’t need to race to get her anymore, do I?”
“Lucy loves to be with you.”
“All right. For today anyway.”
They walked upstairs to the children’s room. Billy was lying in bed sleeping, oblivious to the screams of his baby sister.
“Is this how she wakes up every day?” She thought she heard the panic in the child’s cry.
Stuart shrugged. “Usually.”
“She’s afraid you won’t come for her.”
“No. I don’t think so. Someone comes every time.”
Genny went to Lucy’s crib, scooped her up, jostled her a little and kissed her forehead. “Here now, shhh. Everything is fine.”
“Hello there, sweetheart. You’re fine.” Stuart reached around Genny and rubbed the baby’s arm.”
Lucy hushed and then grinned at her father from Genny’s arms.
“Now what was all that fuss about?” asked Genny. “Oh, you’re soaked even through the double diaper. You poor little thing. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
She set about the diaper changing routine.
The baby started to cry again when Genny cleaned her with the cold washcloth.
“Remind me to bring a warm washcloth when I come for her in the mornings.”
Stuart nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
After cleaning her, Genny tickled Lucy and blew on her tummy making her laugh.
“That’s my sweet baby girl.”
She dressed the child in a fresh dry diaper, before putting her in a long gown and socks which Lucy immediately reached down and grabbed at.
Genny swept her up in her arms and turned to leave.
Stuart stood in the doorway, his arms folded over his chest and head cocked, watching her.
“You care for her very well and so easily.”
“She’s a very good baby.”
“We like to think so.”
She handed Lucy to her father.
“Do you normally get Billy up now or let him sleep?”
“He usually gets up by himself and comes downstairs during breakfast.”
She worried about telling her brand new husband that he’s been doing things wrong or perhaps these were his wife’s choices but Genny didn’t agree with them. “That’s not good. He needs to be dressed and ready for the day when he eats breakfast. He needs a regular regimen. After I get Miss Lucy taken care of and settled in her highchair, I’ll wake Billy, dress him, and bring him down to the kitchen. He ca
n have oatmeal and warmed milk while he waits for everyone else to come in to eat.”
“He’ll get awfully tired during the day,” countered Stuart.
“He can take naps in the afternoon when Lucy does. For a little while, until he gets used to the change, he may need a nap in the late morning as well.”
Stuart narrowed his eyes. “I’m trusting you because I’ve seen how good you are with them. But if I see that he’s too unhappy with your new arrangement I want your agreement we’ll go back to what he was doing before.”
Genny stiffened her back and stood straighter.
“You have to give him enough time to get used to the new routine. He’s only three and won’t like it to begin with but he will eventually. Give it a month.”
“I’ll give it a week.”
“Two weeks,” countered Genny.
Stuart nodded. “All right two weeks.”
She should have held out for three weeks, she bet Stuart would have agreed. “Thank you. You won’t be sorry. Now let’s get this little sweetheart fed. I bet she’s starving.”
Lucy grinned. “Bababababa”
Genny laughed. “That’s right, Lucy, you tell him.”
Stuart furrowed his brows. “How do you know she’s telling me anything? She could be talking to you.”
“No. She’s talking to you. You’re her daddy. The most important person in her world.”
He reddened quite nicely at her praise, and Genny liked seeing that he was human after all.
*****
From the moment he first saw her, Stuart was intrigued. She was tall for a woman but still several inches shorter than he was. Her black hair was swept up into a bun at the nape of her neck. He’d love to set it free and run his fingers through what he was sure were silken strands.
As he’d approached her on the train platform, the wind whipping her skirts around her he had only one question in his mind. Why would a woman who looked like that become a mail order bride? With those gray eyes of hers, dark enough to be almost blue and yet light enough to be startling. She was a contradiction.
But he didn’t want a wife. Martha had been everything to him and he couldn’t go through that again. Couldn’t lose someone so precious. He wouldn’t get close to Genny. But that was a damn hard resolution to keep when they slept in the same bed every night.
And her way with the kids. Her behavior with them was as though she’d known them their whole lives. Lucy loved her immediately, but that wasn’t saying much. Lucy loved everyone. He’d worry when she didn’t. But Billy, he hadn’t wanted to be near anyone but the family since Martha’s death. When they went to church, admittedly not often, but when they did, Billy hung on to Stuart’s leg instead of playing with the other kids.
Yet, after his initial shyness, he’d warmed to Genny and let her put him to bed. Billy loved the story she told, he went to bed without a fuss. That was a first. Since his mother died six months ago, there wasn’t a single night he hadn’t gone to bed without a fight. Stuart thought he was having bad dreams, but when he asked Billy about it, the boy said no. But Stuart knew that couldn’t be true. Stuart himself had endured bad dreams fairly regularly. He’d wake up in a cold sweat…because he couldn’t save Martha.
But he didn’t have bad dreams last night, hadn’t any night since Genevieve came. Instead, he’d dreamed of Genny. The woman who lay beside him every night. The woman he wanted to touch and yet couldn’t. She’d made it perfectly clear he couldn’t touch her until he was willing to give her what she wanted, what she needed. Children. And love.
Stuart didn’t want any more children. He didn’t want to be left to raise more kids on his own. He loved the two he had, but two was plenty.
His conscience told him Genny wasn’t Martha. Genny was strong. Hadn’t she shown him by standing up to him? He didn’t mean to be such a bastard about things and he’d try to be better.
Damn it was hard.
*****
Genny received a letter from Julia. It arrived in her hands about two months after Julia had written it what with the general slowness of the mail and the lack of frequency that they went to town.
September 22, 1890
Dear Katie and Genny,
My dearest friends, I already miss both of you so much. I have arrived safely in Wickerton, New York. I wish I could tell you it went smoothly, but unfortunately, my intended groom took an issue with my limp.
I was mortified to have him leave me at the train station, with the poor sheriff stuck having to tell me Mr. Johnson didn’t wish to marry me, after all.
Since that time I have come to be rather grateful the man didn’t want to marry me. The sheriff has been kind enough to give me a job at the jailhouse until I can find other employment.
Please know that my love and thoughts are with you both.
Love,
Julia
Genny wanted to write her and Katie back right away. She’d been remiss in her correspondence and hadn’t written either of them yet. But she missed them both so much. There were so many new things and sometimes she just wished she could hug her friends and tell them everything that was in her heart and on her mind. She’d have to ask for materials to write the letter.
She found Stuart in the barn.
“Stuart, I need stationery so I can write my friends. May I use some of yours?”
He didn’t look up from where he mucked a stall. This was something he hadn’t asked Genny be able to do, thank goodness.
“It’s in the middle drawer of my desk in the office, help yourself. When it’s done and ready to mail, put it on the table in the entryway.”
“Thank you.” She walked to the door, but had to stop and look over her shoulder at her husband. He was shirtless and she saw every muscle as he worked. Muscles pulled across his back and thickened his arms. His body was beautiful, like a work of art.
“Have you looked your fill?”
He asked with laughter in his voice.
Genny gasped and hurried out, his laughter following her.
*****
November 1, 1890
Dear Katie and Julia,
I hope you don’t mind that I made the letter to the two of you. I also hope that this reaches you and finds you both well and happy.
My new husband, Stuart MacDonnell is kind and very handsome. I couldn’t figure out why a man like him would send for a mail-order bride. He said he needed someone quickly. Didn’t want someone he’d have to court for two years and pretend to be in love with, before they married. I suppose that makes sense, it does to him anyway.
I don’t know if I believe him or not. But he didn’t waste any time marrying me. The ceremony happened in a judge’s office about thirty minutes after I arrived.
Stuart has told me he doesn’t want any more children. Had I known before I may not have come, although he does have two beautiful children that I’ve fallen completely in love with. Three-year old Billy is a rascal and adorable. He has blond hair like his mother and his father’s gorgeous blue eyes.
Lucy is six-months old and the most wonderful baby I’ve ever known. She grabbed my heart as soon as I saw her. She has brown hair that’s in soft curls all over her head and again her father’s blue eyes. She’s so funny. Babbles all the time and laughs like she’s just told you a funny story.
And that’s my new family. I already adore them, including, I’m afraid, their father. If he would just let me in, we could have such a wonderful marriage and a good life. I don’t know what I’ll do if he won’t let me in. I don’t know if I can live in a situation without love or at least the possibility of gaining it someday.
I keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter. I don’t need love. But it’s a lie. I do need it. I need it to survive. I need it for my very soul to be nourished and happy. I haven’t said this out loud but I needed to get the words out.
Thank you both for letting me carry-on so, though I know you didn’t have any say about it. I miss you both so much and I hope that you
have found the loves of your lives and that they love you back.
I guess that’s the problem. I have found the love of my life and he doesn’t love me back.
I hope you hear from you both soon.
My love to you both,
Genny
*****
It was almost the end of the two weeks Stuart had given her to get Billy acclimated to his new morning routine. Genny continued with her plans for Billy. She woke him and dressed him in the mornings before breakfast. He was slowly getting used to the new schedule and Genny couldn’t have been more pleased.
Stuart merely grunted.
She was glad to get that much sound out of him. With each passing day he’d grown more standoffish. Except in bed. Most mornings Genny awoke and Stuart had an arm flung across her. She had to admit she enjoyed the feeling, pretending he meant to be cuddling her. She’d gotten very good at moving his arm to get out of bed without waking him.
At least she thought she had. At the end of the second week she was there she was changing into her clean chemise and bloomers in preparation of laundry day. She’d already removed her bloomers, had just lifted her dirty chemise over her head when she looked up and caught Stuart staring.
Genny had to stop herself from covering up which was her immediate reaction, as him seeing her was a violation of the marital rules she herself set in place. Then she decided since she had his attention she’d take advantage of it. She locked gazes with him and watched his eyes turn dark with what she thought must be desire. Slowly, she pulled her clean chemise over her head, keeping his full attention, then pulled up her bloomers and finished dressing, leaving without a word to get the children.
Stuart hadn’t taken his gaze from hers for the entire time she dressed. But he hadn’t said anything either. Just stared, like he was a hungry man and she was a meal.
She was getting to him.
Genny smiled.
*****
November 22, 1890
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