by Lexy Timms
“Wedding? You got married?” she asked.
“No, no. I ... look, never mind. How are you doing, Mom? How did you sleep last night?”
“Terribly. The thunderstorms were awful.”
“They did rock the house a bit,” I said with a grin.
“The lightning is always beautiful, but I really could do without that thunder.”
“You know thunder is a byproduct of the heat from the lightning piercing the air. When the air comes back together, it makes a clapping sound that we interpret as thunder.”
“How did you get to be so smart?”
“I get it from my momma,” I said with a smile.
“You sure didn’t get it from your father. That man was an idiot.”
I laughed as I scooted up a chair next to my mother’s bed.
“Got any big plans for your day?” I asked.
“Nope. Just resting for the day. I didn’t get much sleep with all the thunder, so I’m taking it easy.”
“Got any handsome visitors coming later on? You sure do look spiffy,” I said.
“Why do I have to get dressed up for a man? What if I want to look good for myself?”
“I see where I got my independence from.”
“Again, you didn’t get it from your father. That man was as emotionally clingy as they came.”
“The more you talk about him, the more I wonder why you married him,” I said with a giggle.
“Beats me,” she said with a shrug. “I plead temporary insanity.”
The two of a shared a laugh, and it lifted my spirits. These moments were becoming fewer and farther between. I felt like a regular mother and daughter, bonding over our own emotions and senses of humor. This was what our relationship would’ve been like had it not been for this damned disease. I would have these moments with her every day. In my own apartment. I’d move her in with me, and we would watch the sun go down below the city every night with a sharp glass of wine.
That was what my life was supposed to look like. Not moping around brokenhearted and jobless.
I sighed as I watched my mother’s eyes lost focus. It was coming. The storms that had raged last night were beginning to cloud my mother’s memory. She whipped her head around, her eyes darting around the room.
And that quickly, her lucidity was gone.
“Hello?” my mother asked.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Who are you?” she asked.
“I’m a friend of your daughter’s. She wanted me to come check on you,” I said.
“Well, tell her she needs to come see me. I haven’t seen that child in weeks. What kind of girl stuffs her mother away in a place like this and never comes to visit?”
I felt my heart drop to my toes. Her Alzheimer's was getting so bad, she thought I was abandoning her, not remembering our visits for weeks at a time.
I wanted to puke.
“She comes by a lot,” I said. “A few times a week.”
“Well, she isn’t here now. Some girl she turned out to be. Takes after her father, you know. Flakey and flimsy and not a decent bone in her body.”
“I’m sure you don’t mean that,” I said.
“I do!” she said. “Why hasn’t she come to visit me?”
“She has,” I said breathlessly.
“Why are you crying? You don’t have a reason to cry.”
“It’s been a rough week or so,” I said.
“That my daughter’s excuse too?” she asked.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I was strong but not this strong. She was looking right at me and spewing vile where only seconds ago, there was love. I got up from my seat and leaned into her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
But she ripped away and began slamming her hand on the red button at her bedside.
“Who are you? Why are you touching me? Nurse? Nurse!”
I sighed and shook my head as I turned away from her. The nurse from the station at the corner came running in and gave me a sympathetic look. She went over and sat on the side of my mom’s bed to try to calm her down, and I couldn’t stay for it this time. I knew what would happen. My mother would get combative and call out for me, demand someone call me even though I was looking right at her. She would spit or kick or possibly slap one of the nurses. Then they would have to control her with medication while she yelled out to not stick her with “that thing.”
It was all becoming too much.
I walked down the hallway, leaving the pieces of my shattered heart behind. I felt empty. Lost. Alone in the abyss of my life. My mother was knocking on death’s door with every passing day, and it was becoming more expensive to keep up with what she needed. She would need an adjustment to her medication soon enough, and that would cost more out of my pocket. If she took another spill and hurt herself, that would mean more hospital visits.
Which meant more hospital bills. Which meant more money.
It was all overwhelming, and a part of me wished I could call Jimmy and talk with him about it.
As I sat in my car looking out over the nursing home, I had to urge to drive and see him. It would be easy to head to Jimmy’s, a straight shot down the main road and two left-hand turns. He was maybe six minutes away. Six minutes sat between me and his comforting embrace. Me and his chest that would soak up my tears. Me and those lips he would press into the top of my head.
I shook the thought away and fought it with all my might. I pulled out of the parking space and forced myself to go home, back to the apartment I could no longer afford without wiping my savings account clean.
Then, I thought back to Jimmy’s words and what he had said about my severance package.
If I explained the books to someone, that would get me more money. That money would go a long way in helping with Mom and her bills. Depending on how much it was, it might even get me through the year with her bills, which would be outstanding. It meant I would have a little more financial freedom and breathing room to find a job.
All I would have to do would be to explain my notations to someone.
It didn’t even have to be to Jimmy. It could be to Ross, and he would be the better person to explain it to, anyway. He was the numbers guy. He would latch on quicker than Jimmy would, and I would be able to trust him to take care of what I’d done, keeping the organization I had laid in place and sticking with the projection equations I had altered to predict with greater accuracy for the investors.
I didn’t trust Jimmy to pay attention if I was in the room talking to him.
I parked my car and hoisted my laptop into the crook of my arm. I walked to the elevator, my mind in a haze. In a span of four days, my life had completely fallen apart. The dream job I’d acquired was tainted by a relationship that had gone sour. A man I had come to care for and trust had become a phantom memory of my father, the anger I’d seen in his eyes every day growing up and the yelling that always took place between my mother and him.
I’d seen my father in Jimmy’s eyes that day, and it ruined everything for me.
I stood in the elevator and closed my eyes. I allowed it to take me on a little trip before I pressed the button for the fourteenth level. I forced my mind to stop, shut down everything, reboot, and cast aside all the issues that no longer deserved my attention.
I walked into my apartment and dropped everything onto the couch. I grabbed my glass of stale wine and went to sit out on the porch. It was my favorite place to be, smelling the salt air and feeling the wind whipping around my body. I would miss this view. Even after seeing it every day for an entire year to come, I knew I would miss it once I moved.
It would be hard to go back to the brick wall views I’d been accustomed to before my life had changed, before I’d been promoted and knew what it felt like to be able to take care of myself for once.
I drank back the last of the wine before I set my glass between my legs. I slumped into my chair and closed my eyes as I listened to the city hustle below me. Maybe things would turn out okay. May
be one of the corporate positions I had applied to would consider me qualified enough for the position. Maybe one of the starter businesses who needed a lone accountant could hire me for the money they were saying they could, and everything would work itself out.
Or maybe it wouldn’t.
And that little doubtful sliver of me yelled the loudest in the recesses of my mind.
Maybe, just maybe, things wouldn’t be okay.
Chapter 5
Jimmy
I was sitting across the table with Ross as I held my drink in my hand. I needed to get out and get my mind off the shitty week I’d endured. I still had one day to go, but I knew I wouldn't make it until Friday night.
I needed a break from all the shit we’d figured out.
“I handed over everything to the PI this morning,” Ross said.
“I can’t believe he fucking robbed all of my damn companies,” I said. “I’ll never see that money again.”
“Thankfully, not all of our subcompanies were hit. Just the two. I still couldn’t figure out how those other two random companies in Miami lined up with Markus, though.”
“Ashley would’ve been able to find it,” I said.
“Have you heard from her at all?” he asked.
“Not a damn peep.”
“Do you think she’ll take the offer for the beefy severance package?”
“I’m hoping so because I don’t understand a damn word in her files,” I said.
“I understand some of it, but it’ll still take me some time to decipher what was going on in her head with those equations. There are multiple steps missing, all of which I assume she did in her head.”
“Is it bad I still want to show her all of this? All of this stuff we’ve found on Markus?”
“No, but you shouldn't. She doesn’t work with the company anymore, and that’s privileged information.”
“It might help get her back. If she knows we’re running with this because of what she found,” I said.
“You can’t give her specifics, and you sure as hell can’t show her the paperwork.”
“I miss her, Ross.”
“I know. The company misses her. With her eyes and the way she could speed-read, we could’ve had this shit turned over and wrapped up days ago,” he said.
“She’s a valuable asset.”
“The best,” he said.
“We have to get her back.”
“I know we do, but setting personal feelings aside in favor of professional ones is hard. And you can’t blame Ashley for that.”
“I don’t blame her. For anything,” I said.
“Have you told her that?”
“She hasn’t called me,” I said.
“Why the hell are you waiting for her to call you?”
“Because she didn’t take my calls for two damn days, Ross.”
“Doesn’t mean you stop trying,” he said.
“Why would I keep doing something over and over again if it doesn’t get me the results I want?”
“Because you’re not building a business, you’re chasing a woman,” he said.
“I could ring that man’s fucking neck,” I said.
“That’s probably how Ashley feels about you, to be honest.”
“Why did I not believe her?”
“Because you were blinded by your love and trust in Markus. It would be like accusing Ashley’s mother of embezzling from the company. Ashley probably would’ve had the same reaction. What was unnecessary was all the shit you said to her after you didn’t believe her.”
“Well, my not believing her didn’t help,” I said.
“What you really should've done was gone after her when she left the bar.”
“I keep replaying that night over and over in my head. I was so angry at her. You know I asked her if she was going to apologize for accusing Markus? I was still on fucking Markus!”
“I’m not saying you’re not climbing Everest here, but I’m saying there are some men that have come back from worse. It takes time, perseverance, and a delicate dance between being annoying and giving her space,” he said.
“You know I couldn’t tell her the other day that I needed her?”
“What?” he asked.
“Yeah. She was standing right there in my office, and I told her the damn company needed her.”
“Well, we do.”
“Yeah. Then I went to go say it and stopped! Like I hadn’t learned my fucking lesson.”
“Why did you stop?” he asked.
“I don’t know, Ross.”
“You do. You’re a grown ass man who can filter through his emotions. Why didn’t you tell her?”
“Because.”
I threw the rest of my drink back and set it on a passing tray.
“Because I was scared I would tell her, and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.”
“There it is. Now, I’m telling you this with all the respect in my soul, Jimmy. You don’t have home-court advantage here. You aren’t the one who gets to keep your emotions close to your chest. You’re the one bleeding in the street still crawling toward her apartment. That’s you.”
“I know. I’m so damn angry. I’ve never been this angry. Not at my father. Not at my life. Not at my idiotic professors in college. Never. I have no idea what to do with all this anger, Ross.”
“I can’t help you there,” he said. “But bourbon always helps me.”
“She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“If you keep that train of thought rattling around in your mind, then you’ll convince yourself of it,” he said.
“I have to find a way to put the company’s needs above my own right now,” I said.
“Well, that took a turn. Why?” he asked.
“Because this thing with Markus goes deep. There are two companies completely unrelated to us that have no idea what’s been done to them. I’m hoping the PI will reach out to them. Now that we have proof of all this, we have to keep digging. We have to figure out how deep this goes with this greedy asshole.”
“If that’s the personal venture you want to take on, then fine. The police have already booked and charged him, so I’m not sure if we’ll be able to tack this stuff onto his charges already,” he said.
“I’ll figure it out. But now that Markus is out of the picture, two things have to happen. We need to find a new investor, and we need to right our ship. None of the investors bailed, but they’re wary of investing. Until we can provide them clear and concise balance sheets due to Markus being incarcerated, I don’t think we’ll see a cent from them.”
“Then that’s what we’ll focus on,” Ross said.
My phone rang in my pocket, and I jumped. Every time it rang, I thought it was Ashley. At the very least, I hoped it was Ashley. But my vision dripped with red when I saw what number was calling.
I didn’t want to talk to that asshole.
I ignored the call and stuffed it back into my pocket. I felt my anger subsiding as another drink was set in front of me, but part of me did feel bad. I was denying Markus the one thing Ashley was denying me. A chance to talk. But he’d betrayed me in all the worst ways possible. He’d taken my love for him and twisted it to his own selfish whims.
Holy shit, was that what Ashley thought I’d done?
“Who was that?” Ross asked.
“Jail,” I said.
“That man’s still calling you?” he asked.
“Do you think I should’ve answered it?”
“Hell, no. You owe him nothing.”
“Like Ashley owes me nothing?”
“Look, this is different. That man stole millions from you. You said some shit that hurt Ashley, but you didn’t betray her trust, years of trust after cultivating a familial relationship with her. Don’t do that to yourself.”
“I denied him the one thing Ashley’s denying me. I kind of know how he feels, wanting to talk to the person he wronged,” I said.
“Jimmy, I hate it when yo
u draw these kinds of conclusions.”
“Because you know you don’t have a leg to stand on in the argument,” I said. “That man was like a father to me, the only real father figure I ever had.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. All I could see was the anger in your eyes when you looked down at your phone. With how angry you still are, you’ll accomplish nothing talking to him in this state of mind,” he said.
“Now that makes sense,” I said.
“To things that make sense,” Ross said.
“To things that finally fall back together,” I said.
We clinked our glasses and sat in silence as my mind started to swirl. I still cared about Markus. I still wanted him to be okay. Through all the shit he put me through and stole from my company, I couldn’t shake the years we’d had together. Without his advice, I would’ve never climbed to the top. Yes, he stole from me, but I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams because of him. He made me into the businessman I was today, and with the charges being brought against him, he would lose everything before he left prison.
Would it make any difference if I kept investigating him?
If I drove a man into the ground who was already bleeding out, would it make me feel any better about what happened?
Chapter 6
Ashley
Friday
I was having no luck in the job department. Every time I turned around, an email with the word “rejection” was being sent to me. All the corporate jobs that would allow me to keep up the life I was living said I didn't have enough work experience or that my experience was too tailored for them, and the jobs that wanted me to interview couldn’t pay me the bottom-basement of what I needed to live in Miami, much less keep my mother where she was.
The only other avenue I had was Jimmy’s offer. I didn’t have any other choice. With interviews on the books for jobs that paid close to nothing for my expertise, I would need that severance package. It wouldn’t carry me far. If I was lucky, it would get me to the end of the year, but it would give me enough time to figure out what I was going to do about a job.
I picked up my phone and called Jimmy’s office as I sat on my porch.
“Jimmy Sheldon.”