by Milly Taiden
“You want to have my cubs?”
Yes, please. She wanted his cubs, bears, puppies, whatever he wanted to give her. With the way he was staring at her and licking his lips she’d probably settle for as little as a kiss, but she really did want to help him out. Why? She just did. Maybe she was stupid like her mother said and allowed herself to get into situations where men took advantage of her, but her entire life she’d always believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt. Right now she felt Gray needed someone to be there for him. She knew she could be that someone. At the same time, she could get her own wishes fulfilled.
“Why?”
She blinked, not expecting the question. “Um, you need someone to do it? We have great chemistry and I’ve been wanting children for a while now.”
He turned away from her, suddenly giving her his back and she felt a stab of rejection at his movement. He turned around to face her so quickly she was caught off guard. “You’d do that for me?”
She grinned. He sounded so skeptical. Like he couldn’t believe it. “Yes. But you have to understand I’m getting something I want out of this too.”
“We’ll need to take you home, get your stuff. Move you here full time.” He started throwing out a to-do list so long she wondered what the hell happened. One second he was quiet and thoughtful and the next he was moving around the island to the kitchen table. He picked up his cell phone and started to dial a number.
“Um, Gray?”
“You’ll live here with me obviously.” He continued talking and texting and then glanced up at her. “My bed is large.”
Okay. She figured that by his stating he wanted someone long-term and going to the PDA that he was also looking for love. Her only hope was that the chemistry and connection they experienced would grow into something more meaningful in time. Already she wanted to be close to him. It was not just sex either.
There was something about him that tugged at her heart. She wasn’t sure if it was the fact he seemed so lonely or the amount of responsibility he had to carry all on his own. Whatever it was, she wanted to help him carry the burden.
“Gray, I have a job,” she said, hoping he’d slow down the flying texts she saw him sending. She was pretty sure they were all about what they’d just decided.
She knew this was getting deep for her real fast. Being a romantic at heart, she wanted Gray to be her one. Her heart told her he was. That she’d finally found the love she’d been searching for, but she wasn’t stupid. Things had to develop with time and communication. She’d been open and honest with what she wanted with him from the first. He’s used few words, but she’d gotten the gist. He had to be searching for a person to love too, or why else would Mrs. Wilder have sent her to him. She knew what Lyss wanted.
He stopped and stared at her as if she’d grown another head. “You don’t plan to continue that, do you?”
Excuse me? “Uh, yeah. That’s how I pay my bills. Not that I live paycheck to paycheck or anything. I’m really good at saving money.” She grinned. “And I suck at shopping for myself so I never do it.”
“But you’d have to travel to your office. Anything can happen to you on your way there or back.”
She shook her head. “You’re growing a little paranoid there, Kitty man. Don’t get your tail in a twist. I’m sure stuff is not as bad as you think.”
He marched to her, his eyes somber and dark. A grim expression covered his features. “You don’t understand. Tigers can be vicious.”
She nodded. “I’m sure.”
“No. You really don’t understand. When my father first announced he was going to move on from being pride leader of Elder Prime, things went into chaos. Some of the younger, stronger pride members decided they’d take us out and take over.”
“What?” she gasped, her hand flying to her chest. Her heart pounded hard with fear for him. Who cared that she’d met him a handful of hours back? She’d already become attached to keeping him alive.
“My brother was the first target,” he said, his voice dropping to a low, hushed tone.
She couldn’t stop herself from throwing her arms around him and giving him a hug. The desolation in his eyes dug deep into her heart and plowed holes there.
“Tell me what happened.”
He dropped his head on her shoulder and inhaled sharply. “I don’t think—”
She pulled back and stared into his eyes. “Don’t think. Just talk to me. If we’re going to do this, I need to know you. Your life. Your family. I need you to open up.”
He drew her toward the dining table and sat on a chair, pulling her on his lap. This was the first time a man had done that. What would normally be seen as a sexy move was somehow intimate this time. She sat on his lap with his arms tight around her waist.
“Dustin was fast with his mouth. He’d gotten one of the women in the pride pregnant and told everyone he’d sealed his place in line as pride leader.”
She gulped, her stomach churned knowing the worst part of the story was coming. “What happened?”
He probably didn’t realize how he tightened his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. “We found Sandra dead in their cabin and Dustin down by the river.”
“Oh my God!” He’d lost a sibling. From the sounds of it his only one. She didn’t think. She threw her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face to his neck. “I’m sorry. That’s terrible.”
He pulled her back and stared into her eyes, his gaze filled with pain. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
She had always believed there was someone out there for her. While she might not have thought that love at first sight existed, she knew there was a connection between her and Gray. Was it love at first sight? If she turned wistful like she did after a bottle of wine when she was home on a Friday night, she’d start to believe they were soul mates. As it was, she firmly believed whatever they had could be really special.
Should they have a baby without using the word love, though? Some people had kids with less commitment and managed it. At least they had chemistry. One of the things Mrs. Wilder had been very specific about was how careful and considerate the shifters were about their women. That was another plus.
“Relax, Gray,” she said soothingly.
He kissed her shoulder and rubbed his cheek on her arm. “I can’t when the idea of anything happening to you makes my animal agitated. I don’t like it.”
All in all, having a baby with a hot, dedicated and protecting man didn’t sound like a bad idea to her. Her big worry was wondering if he’d ever develop feelings of love for her. She could lie to the world but not herself. She was already imagining Gray telling her he loved her which was probably insane since a day ago she didn’t even know him. But who was she to argue with her heart?
‘You never pick who you love’ her dad used to tell her when she was a little girl. It’s why he tolerated her mother for so many years and Lyss never understood it. Her dad had dedicated himself hand and foot to her mother. What did he get in return? Complaints and accusations of being slow to do her bidding. When her mother left her father, it killed him. He’d died of a broken heart.
Lyss knew there were good men out there like her dad. That’s why she’d kept hoping that she’d find a good guy to be with. Something told her Gray was that guy. So he was a bit on the quiet side. He liked life as a solitary creature from what she saw and she noticed he didn’t make idle conversation. Even with all that, her heart still told her he was the one for her.
“Nothing will happen.” She said the words with conviction. No, she couldn’t see the future, but she’d never been threatened in her life. She and Gray would just have to keep their plans to themselves. “We’ll just keep our plan between us and that way nobody will get the urge to slice me into bits.”
He frowned but nodded. “You’re right. That’s probably the best thing to do.”
She glanced toward the food and then back at him. “Think we can eat?”
H
e jumped to his feet and almost dropped her. “I’m sorry. I’ll get that.”
“Don’t rush on my account,” she said, then thought better of it when her stomach growled. “On second thought, yeah, rush. I’m starving.”
Gray laughed. It was music to her ears. He’d gotten upset and worried and they’d only spoken of her giving him cubs. They hadn’t actually done anything yet. No, not really. They’d done quite a lot on his bed. Still, she didn’t want him to get all super protective to the point he felt she needed him to watch her twenty-four seven.
After dinner, she decided to get dressed in case anyone showed up since he told her his two friends had a tendency of coming and going.
“They’re my guards,” he explained.
“Are they your friends?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so I was right,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him as she slipped into a pair of sweats.
“I have to make a few calls.”
She shooed him out of the bedroom. “Go, I can wander around and entertain myself.”
After aimlessly roaming the inside of the cabin, while Gray sat in his office making calls, she’d gotten the lay of the land. She now knew there were five bedrooms, a ton of windows, which sort of creeped her out now that it was nighttime, and too much silence. She’d become accustomed to listening to her neighbors yelling on either side of her house. Plus, living on a busy street, she heard cars coming and going at all hours.
Her tour of the cabin ended in what she thought was a family room. The giant TV reminded her of the programs she had not watched all week. Flicking through the channels, she found one of her favorites. She settled in to watch and almost didn’t hear when Gray entered the room.
He sat down next to her, picked up her feet and laid them on his lap.
“You watch reality TV?” He sounded surprised.
“Hey, Deadliest Catch is epic. I still miss Captain Phil and have high hopes the Cornelia Marie will make a comeback. Although, Captain Sig is my all-time fave.”
“Who?”
“Never mind.” She laughed. There was no point in discussing a show he had no idea about. “Obviously you don’t watch this. So what do you watch on TV?”
He shrugged. “The news.”
Ugh. “Are you one of those that all you ever watch is news related stuff?”
He chuckled and started rubbing her feet. Hmm that was actually really nice.
“Yeah, I will watch movies too, though.”
She groaned. Boy he was good with massages. “What kind of movies?”
“Military blow things up kind of stuff.”
“Oh?” she asked, surprised. “Military?”
He nodded. “I was military for a few years so it is great to figure out what they do wrong in a movie that would never be done in real life.”
“Sorry,” she groaned. “I don’t watch military stuff. I do love anything with nature.”
He pressed on the arch of her feet and she leaned back on the sofa, enjoying every second of his kneading her skin. Men didn’t give her soft touches. She’d given an ex a rub down once when he’d complained of neck pains. Once she’d found out the reason he was getting neck pains was due to peeping on her neighbor through her bathroom window, the massages were dead.
“What about your family?” he asked. “How do they feel about you searching for a mate via the PDA?”
Her leg muscles tensed at the mention of her family. Her mother didn’t know. Heck, she’d love to keep her mother unaware for say twenty years before she told her. Especially if they went through with the whole having babies idea. If Gray changed his mind at any point, she didn’t want to hear about how she’d let another man get away.
“My mother doesn’t know. She feels very strongly that I push men away.” Lyss still didn’t understand how telling her exes she wouldn’t tolerate cheating and lying was pushing them away.
She glanced up from where he massaged her feet, to his face.
“Do you think she will mind when she finds out? We are agreeing to possible offspring here.”
“Since she’s not the one having the babies and I don’t live in her house and haven’t for a long time, I don’t really care what she thinks.”
So maybe that came out a little harsh, but she was tired of listening to other people try to run her life. Her mother didn’t have a man. Didn’t want a man. And somehow knew better than Lyss on what she should be doing to keep a man. All her advice revolved around Lyss sucking up the stupid shit men did and letting it slide. Not happening.
EIGHT
Gray left Alyssa alone for the first time in three days. He didn’t like it. The tiger inside pressed at his skin, searching for a shift, in agitation.
“She’s fine. Try and focus on what we’re doing,” Stripes said.
“She’s alone.”
“Tynder is with her. She’s far from alone. If she can ever get him to shut up then we might owe her big time.”
“She’s great, isn’t she?” he said with a smile.
“She’s fantastic. I’m not sure what she did to make you so receptive lately.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
Stripes chuckled. “You have never done more than grunt a word or two. You don’t hold long conversations and you don’t like people. But for the past few days you’ve been talking, interacting and communicating more than you have in the past ten years.”
He didn’t realize he’d changed so much since Alyssa’s arrival. He didn’t know what to think. Her company brought out a new side of him. He enjoyed talking to her. She was funny and smart.
Her addiction for reality TV still puzzled him, but he laughed whenever she watched something and yelled at the TV like the characters on the show could hear her.
“Do you see anything?” Stripes asked, his gaze focused on the ground.
They’d been searching for anything to show that intruders had come near his home. “No, nothing.”
“This doesn’t mean they won’t come back.”
Stripes was right. Eli and Lucas had made it known they wanted him out of the way. One or both wanted the pride and the only way to get it was to get rid of Gray.
“She needs to go home,” he said, once again thinking of Alyssa.
Stripes whistled low. “How are you going to handle her being gone?”
He wasn’t. “I’m going with her.”
Stripes laughed. “I had a feeling that would be your answer. You’ve got it bad. If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re in love.”
His chest compressed. Love? Nonsense. He’d recognized his mate and needed to protect her. Wanting to spend his time with her did not mean he was in love. Her smile flashed through his mind. He loved when she smiled. It made him happy to know there was joy in her life.
That still didn’t mean he was in love. Grayson Green did not do love. Gray knew that since he’d been a kid. It had been drilled into him first by his family and then by the military. Love was an emotion that could destroy a person.
“I don’t do love.” He said the words more to himself than Stripes. He didn’t need love. He had Alyssa. “Emotions can be messy.”
Stripes sighed. “That’s true. But love won’t hurt you. I think you loving Alyssa would only make you happier. You should think about it.
“We can’t help who we fall in love with, Gray.” Stripes slapped him on the shoulder. “Sometimes we fall and don’t even know it.”
Not Gray. He was pride leader. He was stronger. Tougher. Love made a person weak. It messed with areas of the heart Gray never looked at.
“I don’t.”
“Just remember that falling in love doesn’t make you less of a man,” Stripes said. “It makes you whole.”
* * *
“David?” Alyssa asked, confused. “What are you doing here?”
They’d gone into her house to pick up some of her stuff. After requesting last minute vacation time, she had gotten Gray to take her to her house. Sh
e’d inquired about her car, but apparently it needed a lot more work than just a tire replacement. They’d been inside the house for all of thirty seconds when her ex came out of her bedroom.
David stared at Gray with a shocked expression. Gray, on the other hand, pushed her behind him, his stance pure dominance.
“I need somewhere to stay, Lyssie.”
She winced. Had he always sounded so whiny? She stared at him through new eyes, wondering what the hell had been wrong with her to allow this man to do whatever he did and not send him packing. “I’m sorry, David. You can’t stay in my house. We broke up over a year ago.”
David looked so confused she almost felt pity for him. Almost. But David had cheated on her repeatedly and blamed his ‘inability to feel adequate with women’ for his inability to keep his dick in his pants.
“Do you want me to wait until your guest leaves?” David asked, trying to see more of her without Gray in the way.
He just didn’t learn. Looking at David now, after being with Gray, she noticed two things. The first was that David was an immature, pathetic excuse for a man. One who gave women terrible sex, no orgasms and wasn’t faithful. The second was that Gray might not talk to her as much as David had, but at least she knew whatever came out of Gray’s lips was real. He didn’t sugarcoat. He didn’t try to buy her with words. He was rough, tough, and had a great cock. That was more than enough for her.
She grabbed Gray’s shirt and continued to peek at David around his side. “David, you need to go.”
“But—”
Gray, who had been quiet for the past few minutes suddenly spoke up. “You need to go. Now,” he said, his voice a mere growl.
David paled, took a step back but did not run out the door like she’d expected. Not a good time for him to decide and grow a pair. Considering he’d been such a dick during her entire relationship with him, she wondered why he was pushing things now.
“David, you really should go. We’ve been done for a long time now. I still don’t understand what you’re doing here.”