“I read about you,” Jamie said. “I remember now. You won the Nationals, in Las Vegas. Three years running.”
“That’s right.” He didn’t smile or even seem happy about her recognizing his name. “The thing is, I just wasn’t ready to give it up. I really like riding the rough stock. I like the competition. I like the look of the arena on a hot afternoon, with the girls all in shorts and sunglasses and the kids eating their cotton candy. And the smell of the animals and the guys getting ready, stretching, checking their riggings, getting to see each other, shootin’ the shit. I even kind of like the fuss people made over me.”
“And the women?”
Cal sort of squinted thoughtfully and looked upwards, away from her, his hat shading his eyes, as though he might find the right answer somewhere up in the sky. He considered for a few moments before he went on.
“Yeah, and the women,” he said, finally. “When you’re traveling all the time, and passing through some little town, maybe only a few days at the most, yeah, there are always women. The kind of women who hook up with a guy for no more than a day or two. I didn’t mind that part, and that’s the truth.
“And I’ll tell you something else I like. I like when I walk up onto the stand, with the sound of the announcer on the mike, coming like from somewhere up in the sky, and they give me that big check for my winnings and I wave it at the crowd and give them a big smile and I wave my hat and everyone cheers like crazy. Yeah, I like that part, too.”
Then he paused again, like something was hurting him really bad and it wasn’t his knee.
“Some folks hate all the fuss and all the stuff that starts once you make it big. You know, the TV interviews and the endorsements and your face in the newspapers. And there’s the business stuff, the meetings with the accountants and financial manager and the investment advisors. Some guys really hate all that. But not me, Jamie. I liked being a champion, and I liked everything that went with it. And I sure as hell wasn’t ready for it to be all over.”
He couldn’t continue. It went deeper than that; it wasn’t just seeing his championship days at an end. With his rodeo career down the tubes, it seemed to Cal his youth had been taken away. He felt like the one wicked move from that horse had turned him into an old man. His head knew better, but in his heart, in his gut, it seemed his young days were suddenly done . . . and the loss was unbearable. And he didn’t know how to say it, couldn’t even find the words for it. Cal Cameron had never been an angry man; he had, by nature, an ease and patience that had served him well through all the challenges he’d taken on. But ever since the accident, ever since the strength and suppleness of his body had been compromised, he’d been filled with rage. He didn’t know how to get it out of him, and he knew he couldn’t go on living with it, but he’d been raised by a code that gave him no language for the tangle of feelings that struggled inside him and he would have sooner cut off his hands than expose the misery of his loss to this lovely girl who was sitting next to him.
For her part, Jamie was also silent. She wanted to say something that would help, like maybe saying that no one could ever take his championships away from him, that he would always be a champion, whether he ever rode again or not. She wanted to say that he must have known, always, that someday he’d have to stop, and if he had money in the bank and a home to return to, he already had more than most people ever get. But she held her tongue. He must have heard all that from lots of people. There was more to it, and she could only guess at what he was feeling.
Cal took a deep breath and sat up straighter. He abruptly relaxed his clenched hands, lifted his hat from his head, and resettled it low over his eyes, as though that would change the direction of this conversation.
“Jeez, Jamie. You should have stopped me. Don’t know what got into me, running on like that. You sure you’re not sound asleep by now with me talking your ear off?” He really was embarrassed.
“What are you talking about? After all that whole sob story I’ve been pouring out in your ear. It’s the least I can do, is let you complain all you want.”
“But that’s just it, Jamie. I’ve got no right to complain. I know how good I’ve got it. I’ve done and seen a hell of a lot more than most men ever do, I’ve put away plenty of money, got it all invested real smart, and it’s not as though I don’t like the ranch life. Right now, Harvey needs a hand on his place and Ellie was all hot to get the chance to fuss over her kid brother—nothing she likes as much as bossing me around—and I need a place where I can recuperate and do a little light work, keep myself busy.
“And as for the C-Bar, back at Bennion, that’s going to be mine someday, and I always expected I’d go back there when my traveling days were over. I like working with my dad and I’d want to take good care of the place like he does. There’s a nice little house down by the creek that’s waiting for me whenever I want it, and it’s a perfect place to start raising a family.”
He smiled and his smile, somehow, was sad.
“And how else am I going to get all those grandkids to show off my trophies to,” he said, making a stab at a lighter touch. It lasted only a moment. “So, when my knee is better, and Harv gets a regular hired hand, I’m going to move on back to the C-Bar.”
Then he said nothing for a long time. Just looked out toward the ranges of mountain peaks, far off, across the valley and beyond. That delicate time had come, that brief time just as the sun sets, between the day’s heat and the evening cool, when the air itself seems to pause and no breeze stirs. The canyon was quiet and even the shivery leaves of the aspen trees were still. Finally, he spoke again, quietly, but she could read the anger on his face clearly now, a painful contrast to the peace around them.
“It’s just, I guess I figured all that was something I’d do later on, you know, when I got old. Well, older, anyway. I just didn’t think I’d have to get so old so early.”
What could she say? Jamie wished her own life and Mandy’s held the measure of safety that were already in place for Cal. His future looked pretty sweet to her. But no matter. Cal was in pain and she was sympathetic to that.
She looked quickly away from him, instantly unsettled, instantly grasping for a way to deflect him. She forced herself to remember that there had been a reason to come up to this place. She forced herself to set aside all that Cal had just told her and all the emotion that flowed between them. She turned from him, straightened up—all business now—and raised both her hands to lift her hair from her shoulders, flipping it back, stirring a tiny, cooling breeze at the back of her neck. Her gesture made Cal’s heart twist around in his chest, but she didn’t know about that.
Now he, too, remembered why they were there, and knew it was just as well if he got deflected. There’d been enough talk about him.
“Hey, I thought we came up here to figure a way to get your daughter away from those creeps.” He settled back on the rock, stretched his legs out into the dirt, easing the strain on the injured knee.
“Right.” She, too, was glad for this change of subject.
“Well,” he said, “let’s get to it. I think maybe I can help. Here’s the thing; like I said, seems to me you need to talk to a good lawyer.”
“Sure. But like I said, I don’t have the money for a good lawyer. And what’s more, I don’t know any good lawyers. The only lawyer I ever ran into who knew what he was doing was working for the other side!”
“Well, right there is where I can help you. I know a crackerjack lawyer, absolutely first rate. A lady lawyer, and sharp as a tack. Up in Salt Lake. Her name is French. Elaine French.”
“How do you happen to know a crackerjack lady lawyer up in Salt Lake?”
“That’s another long story, and I’ve already chewed your ear off enough. The thing is, you don’t meet many lawyers you can like, but Elaine French will be completely straight with you, and if something can be done, she’ll tell you what it is. I think you could meet her and see what she can do.”
“Will she even
talk to me if I can’t pay her fee?”
“Elaine’s been handling all my legal work for a couple of years now. She’ll talk to you if I ask her to. We can worry about the fee later.”
We?
Such a small word—and it felt like an alarm bell going off in her head.
All her nerve ends went on alert.
She was scared, but knew she shouldn’t back away from this tiny turn in her luck. She took a mental deep breath and kept her voice as steady as she could.
“Maybe I could take off some time from work. I think Gordie wouldn’t mind, and I could drive up to Salt Lake on Monday. If you give me Elaine French’s number, I’ll give her a call when I get there.”
“Sure thing. Only, you don’t need to do that. I’ll call her. And you’re not going to drive up alone. I’m going to take you up in the truck.”
“I can’t let you do that. It’s at least five hours each way, and it could be a couple of days.” A bundle of mixed emotions tossed around inside her—she was grateful, wary, embarrassed, comforted—both excited and frightened by the thought of a few days alone with this man she barely knew.
What am I doing?
“Why, shoot, Jamie, that’s nothing. Harvey can spare me off the ranch for a while and as for the drive, why hell, I’ve been driving all over the country, from coast to coast, for the last seven, eight years. You think a little bitty ride up to Salt Lake is a long haul for me? Anyway, that old car of yours would never make it. Could be something else will conk out again, and I can’t let some other cowboy come along to give you a hand.” His face creased into a big grin. “Why shoot, ma’am, that’s my job. So I’ll just pick you up Monday morning early. We’ll give Elaine a call on the way, let her know we’re coming.”
“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why you’re helping me like this.”
She was turned toward him, letting herself explore his face, his eyes, openly. There was a long silence between them. Then he spoke. “Sure you do, Jamie.”
Suddenly, everything was still. It seemed the very leaves on the trees were holding their breath, and the grasses paused in their gentle motion. Cal made not even the slightest move toward her, and yet all Jamie’s defenses were on a hair trigger.
Of course she knew. All her attention was locked on this quiet-talking, easy-moving man, while her emotions flew every which way.
He leaned, just the tiniest bit, closer to her. Her eyes were locked on his.
A sharp, sweet heat tightened her throat and spread through her whole body. Everything, the stilled trees, the ancient stones, the valley below them, seemed to spin away and she was lost, somewhere in the endless, cloudless sky. His hunger for her was palpable and it terrified her.
In that moment, Jamie panicked. All her familiar fears and inhibitions flooded through her and her defenses sprang into their accustomed place with a terrible force. She was instantly rigid, her heart froze.
What am I going to do! Oh, God! What am I going to do!
For a long, long, minute neither of them moved. Cal had seen the terror in her eyes, seen the anger and denial that chilled their brilliance. He saw her lips shut tight and she looked ready to fight. He waited as long as he could, the struggle inside him keeping him immobile until he accepted that she would not let him come closer. He held himself in check. It was like braking a runaway locomotive, but he willed himself not to ruin everything.
When he felt he could speak safely, without making a fool of himself, he managed to whisper hoarsely. “Let’s go, Jamie. I’ll take you back to your house now.”
They were magic words, and they broke the spell. Jamie’s panic gradually eased up. Relief replaced the tension that had stiffened her muscles.
Cal stood up and held out a hand to help her.
“Elaine will want to see all your papers,” he said, returning to a neutral subject, giving her time—and space—to recover her sense of safety. “Your divorce decree and all that stuff. Any notes you have. And I’ll fill her in when I call her. She’ll have plenty of questions. You need to prepare, think through everything she might want to know.”
They walked to the truck, he held the door for her, she climbed in, and they drove down the canyon silently. She’d seen how painfully he’d walked, and when they got to her house, she said, “Don’t get out. You need to rest that knee.” She got out and came around to his side. She put a hand on the edge of the window.
“I’ll need to talk to Gordon,” she said. “If I don’t get him tonight, I’ll have to catch him before church in the morning.”
“Okay. And I’ll let Harv and Ellie know I’ll be away for a few days.”
“Okay.”
Then she did something that astonished them both. To her own amazement, she stepped up onto the running board, leaned in, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He reached for her, knocking his hat off against the window frame, but she was already running toward the darkened house.
“All right!” He was grinning broadly as he retrieved his hat and set it firmly back on his head, where it belonged. He watched her go into the house, saw a light go on inside, knew she was home safe.
“All right.” This time it was a whisper.
Chapter Eight
LaRaine Callister had the kids loaded into the big van and was strapping the next littlest into a car seat just as Jamie pulled up in front of the house. Young Gordie was holding the baby, waiting for her to come around to the other side to get the baby settled into his seat. And Gordon Callister, wearing his best white Stetson and his Sunday morning tie and jacket, could be seen just inside the front door, talking on his cell phone. Jamie got out of her car and waved at Gordon, glad to have caught him before he left for church.
He pointed to the phone in his hand, signaling her to wait, so she stopped at the van in the driveway and ducked her head inside, waving a brief greeting to the passengers.
“Morning, LaRaine.” Then to all the kids, “Hey, you guys.” A whole field of sandy-haired, gray-eyed Callisters waved back at her. “Sorry to hold you up, LaRaine. I see Gordie’s busy on the phone. I just need to talk to him for a minute.”
“No problem, Jamie. Gordie had to make some calls before we left but he must be about finished now. Something’s up at the Henson ranch and we’ll have to wait a minute while he takes care of it, so you just take your time. They’re not going to start services without him.”
Even as she spoke, Gordon came out onto the porch and Jamie ran up to join him just as he was closing the front door behind him.
“Morning, Gordon. LaRaine says there’s been some trouble.”
“Yep.” He looked serious. “Cougar’s taken another calf, down at Lou Henson’s this time. Took him right out of that little pasture Lou has just back of his house. His ‘sick bay’ where he keeps any livestock needs doctoring. He’s real upset. His kids play out there and the cat’s tracks are all over the place, even in the yard up by the children’s swing set. Must be a real big one, judging by the prints he left, and he doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything, coming right up to the house like that.”
“Do they think it’s the same one got Al Wideman’s calf the other night?”
“No question about it. Same big tracks, same nerve, coming so close to folks’ homes.”
Jamie thought of the cougar she and Cal had seen, beautiful and bold in the moonlight, and for a moment she thought of keeping silent, as though that big cat was part of a secret that ought to be kept.
“I’ll bet it’s the same one I saw the other night, in the canyon up by my place,” she said at last. “Huge animal, looked like he could take down a grown horse, easy.”
“Up by your place?” Gordon shook his head incredulously. “Might just be. If so, he sure is getting around. I don’t like it, a big cougar like that, doing his hunting where folks live.”
“Are you going after him?”
Gordon seemed preoccupied. He took his hat off and rotated it a few times, staring at it as though it were a crys
tal ball.
“Well, I hate to do it on a Sunday, but we’ve got to start tracking him soon. I’ve been calling around to get some of the men together this afternoon.”
He remained thoughtful for a minute. Then, as though he’d finished one piece of business and was ready to start on the next, he put the hat firmly in place on his head and smiled at Jamie, focusing all his attention on her.
“So, Jamie. What’s up? What can I do for you?”
Jamie did a quick shift, forgetting the cougar and remembering what brought her here. “I know it’s short notice, Gordie, and I’m real sorry, but I’m going to need to take a couple of days off. Tomorrow and Tuesday at least.”
Gordon seemed to forget right there that eight people were still waiting for him and that services were supposed to be starting soon He frowned as he pushed his hat toward the back of his head, and peered closely at her.
“What’s the matter, Jamie? You’re not sick are you?”
“No, Gordie. It’s nothing like that.” If only it could be something so easy. “It’s personal stuff. I’ve got to go up to Salt Lake for a couple of days. Something just came up, and I wanted to let you know right away. That’s why I came by so early. I wanted to catch you before you left for church.”
“Well, Jamie, I surely do appreciate that.” He pursed his lips, calculating his possible moves. “Sunday morning, might be a little tough finding a replacement.” He thought for a moment. “I’ll call Craig Larsen over in Flintlock. He’s just finished a job up by Delta and if he hasn’t signed up for something else right away, he might could send someone over to fill in for you. Two days?”
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