by Cathryn Hein
‘I might stay out here a while.’
‘Brooding won’t help.’
‘I know.’ She pointed to Saffy, parked on her haunches at Vanessa’s feet, gazing big-eyed at the tray her mistress held. ‘At least I’ll have company.’
Ness’s mouth parted as though she was about to say more, then she nodded. ‘Try not to stay up too late. You need sleep, especially if you have to work tomorrow.’ The last sentence was said with an edge. But Ness added nothing further, and after a meaningful eye-meet, left Teagan to it.
When Ness had gone Teagan slumped on her seat with the last of her kir and her mobile phone. She stayed there for a long while, keeping company with Saffy and toying with the phone’s screen. She needed to touch base with someone who understood what this last year had destroyed. Who remembered her as she once was, the happy girl who used to laugh and enjoy life, the Teagan who existed when her dream still lived. Someone who could promise her this anguish wasn’t forever. That there was a way out of the pit.
She needed a friend, desperately.
Her call to Em went straight to voicemail. Another to Jas yielded the same result.
Which only left Lucas.
For a long time, as the night air began to swirl and cool around her ankles, and the creatures of The Falls squabbled and chirruped and chorused for mates, Teagan’s thumb hovered over the little green dial icon. Until, finally, she placed the phone carefully down and gave into staring at the darkness. Alone.
Lucas answered the knock at the door wearing only jeans and a sleepy expression. A white T-shirt hung loosely from one hand as though he’d scooped it up from the floor in passing. Teagan tried not to stare at the lightly haired curves of his chest, but her wits were as dulled as her spirit, and her jaw remained slack at the sight.
‘Teagan.’ He stepped out into the early morning. The sun had only begun to peek over the hills, but it tickled his skin, lighting the stubble on his chin and the smooth sheen of his developing tan. He held her shoulder, tilting his head to examine her face. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Fine. Fine.’ Teagan squinted towards his forge and looked back to find him still studying her. She was sure her fake smile was like something out of a clown horror movie, but she kept it in place anyway. ‘I know it’s a bit rude of me to ask, but do you mind if I hang out here today?’
‘Sure.’ He began to pull his shirt over his head and drag it over his chest. Teagan wished he wouldn’t. The sight of its broad muscularity, the certainty he’d let her bawl onto it if she asked, was reassuring. ‘I have a few appointments this morning but they won’t take long. Mondays are quiet.’
‘I could do a few chores. Help out.’
‘By the look of those bloodshot eyes, you’d be better off sleeping. Have you had breakfast?’
She shook her head.
‘Come on, I’ll make you some.’
She followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the table while he filled the kettle and set about putting pans on the stove.
‘Bacon and eggs okay?’
She nodded. Greasy comfort food would be perfect.
‘Coffee or tea?’
Teagan thought for a moment. ‘Tea would be good.’ She rose. ‘I can make it.’
‘Nope.’ He waved a spatula at her. ‘My kitchen. You stay where you are.’
‘At least let me set the table.’
‘All right.’ He began to point. ‘Cutlery drawer, plates. Salt and pepper in the pantry, placemats there, too. Sauce in the fridge, if you want it.’
That was better. Something to make her feel less useless, although no less stupid. Why she’d lied about having to work today she still couldn’t figure out. It was cowardly, but a day of talk, of rehashing all that pain, held zero appeal. Especially after last night. Except the lie had left her with a dilemma: either admit to it, pretend sickness, or find somewhere to hide out. The latter had seemed the easiest option, but morning had found her too exhausted to drive anywhere far. With the shops not opening for hours yet, a mall was off the list and a commute into the city held even less appeal. Which had left Astonville.
Lucas handed her a mug. She thanked him and sat back down. The tea steamed and she blew on it before sipping. The brew was hot and sweet and strong.
‘Runny or hard?’
‘What?’
‘Your eggs. Runny or hard?’
‘Oh. However they come.’
He raised an eyebrow.
‘Runny.’
He grinned like he’d won some sort of a bet. ‘I thought you might be.’
‘Why? What makes me a runny-egg person?’
‘Just a feeling. I like soft eggs, too.’
That didn’t surprise her at all. Lucas might be hard in body, but he was proving surprisingly tender inside.
‘I’m guessing last night with your mum didn’t go well.’
‘Not exactly.’ She sighed and played with her mug handle. ‘I said things I shouldn’t have. Everyone was upset. Then Mum went to bed and Ness followed.’
‘What did you do?’
‘Spent most of the night on the verandah talking to Saffy.’
‘Good dog, not much of a conversationalist though. You should’ve called me.’
‘It was late.’
‘Wouldn’t have mattered. I would’ve come over, kept you company.’
Busy at the stove, Lucas’s back was to her and she couldn’t see his face, but she recognised the tightening in his voice.
‘Lucas . . .’
He reached for a plate. ‘It’s what friends do.’
True, but friends didn’t come in packages like this. Friends didn’t nearly get it on in a pool or stand in front of a waterfall holding hands as if their togetherness was part of nature’s beauty. Friends didn’t have this electric force running between them.
Yet what was she here for if not that comfort?
‘I mean it,’ he said, placing a plate in front of her. ‘You and me. Friendship. No strings.’
‘I’ve never really had a male friend before.’
‘You do now.’
The bacon smelled delicious, awakening her stomach. Other than some bread, sausage and onion at Nick’s, she hadn’t eaten since late yesterday afternoon.
‘Eat,’ he said, sitting down and pushing a tub of butter her way.
Teagan did as she was told, savouring her meal and sipping her sweet tea. Lucas didn’t say much, apart from the usual questions about how her eggs were and did she want more toast. She helped him with the dishes, watching the morning continue its colourful rise through the kitchen window. It was companionable, standing here. Lucas with his arms plunged in suds, her with the tea towel, and for a moment she had a brief fantasy of what it would be like to wake at Astonville every morning. To stand beside him, smug from sex and a lovingly cooked breakfast, content with the knowledge that tomorrow would bring more of the same.
He handed her a pan, their fingers and gazes connecting for longer than necessary. Heat crept into her cheeks. She withdrew from him a little, head tilted to hide her eyes, hoping like hell her thoughts hadn’t been obvious.
‘What time’s your first appointment?’
‘Nine. But it’s down near Camden so I’ll have to leave around eight.’ He glanced at the kitchen clock. ‘Plenty of time.’
‘For what?’
‘Another cuppa.’ He grinned. ‘Why, did you have other ideas?’
‘No,’ she said, her voice as goaty as one of Merlin’s bleats and her cheeks throbbing with heat. ‘No, not at all. Another cuppa sounds good.’
At Lucas’s suggestion they carried their mugs out into the crisp morning. The birds had already started up their greetings. The chime of bellbird calls came in surround sound, like constantly moving echoes. A cow mooed nearby and was answered by a horse’s neigh. Noise from the road filtered up, commuters heading into the city.
Taking her cue from Lucas, Teagan lounged back on her outdoor chair and rested her legs on the table’s thic
k central timber strut. She breathed in the scent of country life, of eucalyptus and dew, and the occasional waft of dung, and wished her mind could be as peaceful as this place.
‘So what are you going to do about the situation with your mum?’ he asked eventually.
A hollow feeling descended over her. She rubbed at her eyebrow. ‘I don’t know. Talk to her, I suppose. Try to sort it all out.’
‘And then what?’
‘Carry on as I was. Not much else I can do.’
‘And if your mum decides to stay?’ When she looked confused he continued. ‘You’re what, twenty-six, twenty-seven?’
‘Twenty-nine.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Old and cranky.’
‘Hey, I’m not much older than you. And I don’t feel remotely worn out.’
‘That’s because you’re not human. You’re descended from some sort of Greek god. Hardly fair.’
‘Believe me, Teagan, my father isn’t a god. Far from it.’ He took a sip of tea. ‘What I meant was that it’d be hard to stay living with your mum and aunt long-term.’
The notion wasn’t appealing. ‘I’ll find somewhere to share. There’s bound to be someone looking for a housemate or boarder.’ She considered for a moment. ‘I’m sure Nick mentioned he used to have live-in stablehands before they started ripping him off and getting up to no good. There’s a flat above the tack room. It’s not much, but I could ask.’
‘Or you could move in here.’ Lucas spoke without looking at her, his tone neutral, as if it was an offer he made every day.
Teagan stared at him. He couldn’t be serious.
He shrugged, again as if it were of no consequence. ‘There’s a spare room with a queen-sized bed. I wouldn’t ask for much in board, and we could share the shopping and chores.’ He took another sip of tea. ‘Just a thought.’
‘But you hardly know me.’
‘I know enough.’
‘How do you know I’m domesticated? You like things neat. For all you know I could be completely feral around the house.’
He flopped his head towards her, his eyes rolled upwards.
‘All right. So I’m not feral. But, Lucas,’ she flicked a finger between them, ‘you and me . . .’ She shifted, uncomfortable.
‘What? Afraid I’ll ask for more than board as payment?’ His mouth twisted. ‘I’m not so thick that I can’t tell when someone’s not interested. Nor am I the sort of bloke who goes around harassing women. I was serious about us being friends. So you needn’t worry about that. You’d be safe.’
Though welcome, his words left Teagan deflated. It was as if she’d imagined the chemistry between them. Perhaps she had. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, or him playing flirty games for the fun of it.
‘Offer’s there if you want.’
They lapsed back into silence, finishing their tea. It should have been awkward, and for a while it was, but as the minutes passed it began to feel okay. No pressure. No anxiety. Just companionship and the morning coming alive, spreading its glow over a place already polished by one man’s care and pride.
‘Don’t you have any pets?’ asked Teagan when she finally worked out what was missing from his home.
‘I had a dog once. She died though. I never got around to replacing her, although Bunny keeps trying to fob animals onto me. She once tried to get me to take an alpaca.’
‘It’s a wonder Ness didn’t end up with it.’
‘She nearly did, but Bunny found a local hobby farmer who needed a mate for his own alpaca and off it went.’
‘You should get a dog.’ She nodded to herself. A farm, even a small one like this, wasn’t right without a dog.
‘I’ll think about it.’ He tossed out the dregs of his tea and rose. ‘Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the house and tell you where everything is. Did you bring a change of clothes?’
Teagan screwed up her nose. ‘Why, do I smell?’
‘No. I just thought you might like a shower after you have a sleep.’ He touched her cheek lightly, causing her heart to somersault. ‘You really do need bed. You look like shit.’
‘Thanks,’ she said, the somersault landing in a painful bellyflop. ‘Just the compliment I needed.’
He grinned and winked. ‘That’s what friends are for.’
Lucas tried to keep his impatience at bay, but the horse he was shoeing was being a shit of the highest order. The moment Lucas went to nail the cleats, the bastard thing would drag its leg away, no matter how hard he clenched his thighs. Already he had a rip on one palm where a half-nailed cleat had caught and torn the flesh. It ached like a bastard too, dripping blood and making his grip slip further.
After yet another yank he gave up and ordered the owner to put a twitch on it.
Black-tempered, he stomped to his car and jerked open the first-aid kit, not in the mood to be delicate. He tore open a pad and slapped it over the tear, then wrapped a gauze bandage around it, using his teeth to secure the knot tightly. It was only temporary and would get filthy in five minutes, but at least it would stop the bleeding.
Stroppiness wasn’t his normal nature, but today he didn’t want to be working. He wanted to be home, watching over Teagan. Taking care of her. Satisfying the protective instinct that seemed to pound his chest, Tarzan-like, whenever she was near. No choice though. A bloke had to earn money and he’d worked too hard to achieve all he had to let the bank snatch it back.
As he hammered and rasped he thought about her, wondering how much of the friend ploy she actually bought. He didn’t buy it for a second himself so why should she? It was a dumb move, too. How the hell was he meant to keep up the pretence and his hands off her? He didn’t want to be friends. He wanted more. A whole lot more.
The last time he’d felt like this was with Hayley, the RAAF dentist he’d met by chance in a sports store in Penrith a few years ago. She was super smart and gorgeous, if a little bit serious and reserved, and for four months it had been full-on. Both of them had been aware it might not last and he’d braced himself for it, but the knowledge hadn’t stopped Lucas from falling hard. When Hayley announced she’d been posted to Queensland he’d been devastated and it had taken months before he considered dating again. Finding someone like Hayley though, had proven harder than he thought. Not that there hadn’t been offers, just a dearth of the right ones. Plus between renovating the house and work, there hadn’t been a lot of time for more than casual relationships, and even those had been few.
Now Teagan had walked into his life. Red hair, a bit funny, sexy as hell, possessing zero pretension and a passion for horses and country life. And what does he do? Tells her he only wants to be friends.
Idiot.
With the horse shod, he headed back towards home, passing through the village to check his post office box. It contained the usual: bills, bills and more bills, plus a bank statement and a newsletter from the Master Farriers Association. He sighed and tossed them through the ute’s window onto the seat. Time to buy a lotto ticket.
Half a step inside the newsagent’s and he regretted it. Tony was trying to sort mail and do his best to ignore Colin, but the old bugger was in full flight.
‘Oh,’ he said, breaking off mid-sentence and whizzing around before Lucas could sneak off. ‘Good. You can sign up while you’re here.’
A clipboard was immediately shoved under his nose, quickly followed by a pen.
Lucas stepped back, hands up. ‘Just coming for a lotto ticket, Col. Not here to join schemes.’
Col made a sour face. ‘And when our village is overrun with drug addicts and paparazzo?’
‘Give it a rest,’ muttered Tony, moving down the counter to serve Lucas. ‘How many games?’
‘What’s it worth?’
‘Twenty mill.’
‘Better give us a full card then.’
A pen jabbed Lucas’s ribs. ‘You should pay attention. It’s your livelihood at stake, too.’
Experience had taught him many times to keep his mouth shut, but Lucas couldn’t he
lp baiting. ‘Can’t see how, Col. Be good for business, I reckon. I mean, all those rich people, they’d want horses to ride, wouldn’t they? Give it a year or two and Bunny and I could be raking it in.’
Tony had to turn away to hide his laughter as Col began to splutter. Lucas grinned and handed over a fifty, before inspecting the sheet of lotto numbers. What he’d do with that money. He could give up shoeing horses and muck around with blacksmithing full-time.
‘You don’t understand!’
‘Did you just stamp your foot?’
Col blinked, bewildered. ‘What?’
‘Your foot. Did you stamp it?’
‘I’m angry!’ The clipboard was thrust out again. ‘If you think anything of our village you’ll sign.’
‘Sign what?’
‘The Fuckuppas,’ said Tony.
Now it was Lucas’s turn to blink while Colin worked his mouth in fury. The old man’s speckled head was nearly scarlet.
‘The Falls Union Progress Association,’ explained Tony. ‘Also known as the Fuckuppas.’
Laughter bubbled. Lucas tried to suppress it, but with Col still mouthing like a guppy and Tony desperately faking innocence there was no chance he could hold it in. He let out a great roar of laughter that set Col foot-stomping again, then off on some diatribe about thieving bastards who stole from rightful owners.
Suddenly things weren’t quite so funny anymore. Hate him or not, the thieving bastard in question was still his father.
‘You want to watch that temper,’ warned Lucas. ‘Bloke your age, high blood pressure, you could pop a vessel if you’re not careful. Anyway, why don’t you give poor Tony a break and stake out someone else’s shop. In fact, why don’t you just shut up and go home. And take your Fuckuppa bullshit with you. You’re all for saving the village and the shops, but have a look at what you’re doing. Scaring people away with your temper tantrums and stupid group. You’re like a frigging scarecrow.’
Colin’s guppy mouth turned into a cod’s. Tony couldn’t meet Lucas’s eye.
Aware he’d overstepped the mark and, worse, done it in Dom’s defence, Lucas bolted.