by Cathryn Hein
The music and his touch spoke more than words could. Other than a soft moan Teagan didn’t talk either. He pressed her against the pool’s edge, firm against soft, his mouth exploring her lips, face and neck. His free hand caressing, feeling her shivers, the pebbling of her nipples.
‘So much for drunk talk,’ he murmured, pulling away. He didn’t want to, but the way they were headed he was about to violate Vanessa’s rule.
‘I didn’t want you to think . . .’ She reddened and dug her front teeth into her bottom lip. ‘You know.’
‘Nope. I don’t.’
‘I wanted you to think I was okay about it. So you wouldn’t feel obliged to do the let-me-down-gently thing. I was ashamed enough as it was.’
He caressed the soft skin below her bikini top. ‘And now?’
Her eyes were wide with worry. And hope. Rolling her lips together, she shook her head.
‘Teagan, look at me.’ She hesitated then lifted her gaze to his. ‘I want this. Have since we first met. It’s real. Not an obligation.’
She frowned deeply and Lucas had a horrible lurching feeling she was going to start crying. This wasn’t how he wanted things to go. He wanted her happy and smiling. Not upset.
‘I thought you just wanted to be friends,’ she said.
He grinned and nipped at her chin, exploring upwards until he could nibble at her mouth. ‘We can do this and still be friends.’
She sucked in her breath and closed her eyes. He kissed her eyelids and forehead. Gentle touches designed to prove he meant it.
He found her mouth again. ‘Come home with me.’
Uncertainty and longing pinched the corner of her eyes. She stared and stared, her breath coming in shallow little pants. A second passed, then another. If she said no this time he didn’t think he’d be able to ask again. Then her head dropped and she stared at his chest, her cheeks blushing sweetly like sun-speckled peaches.
‘It’s been a long time.’ She paused. ‘A really long time.’
A thought clanged through Lucas. Did a long time mean never? Impossible. She was gorgeous, even if she couldn’t see it herself. Men would have been chasing her since she was a teenager. ‘How long?’
‘Fvyrs.’
Lucas blinked. ‘Did you just say five years?’
Teagan nodded, eyes darting everywhere as though looking for somewhere to crawl and hide.
He couldn’t hide his grin. ‘Worried you’ve forgotten how?’
‘You must think I’m a freak.’
‘Not even close.’ He rested his hands on her waist, thumbs tracing lines over her skin. Measuring the places he planned to kiss and feel tremble. ‘Good thing I’m fit.’
Her mouth quivered as she tried to smile through her nerves. ‘Thinking of how fast you can run away?’
‘No.’ His lips closed in on hers. ‘I’m thinking of all the catching up you have to do.’
Teagan almost turned purple with mortification upon advising Ness she was going to Lucas’s. The knowledge in her aunt’s gaze revealed she knew exactly what Teagan was about to do, and made her feel like a squirmy teenager. With her mother in hospital it also felt wrong, as if she was being uncaring or disloyal. She’d mumbled as much to Lucas when they eventually made their way out of the pool and paused at her bedroom to throw on some clothes.
He’d stood in the doorway, jeans loose on his hips, water still speckling his bare shoulders. ‘You want to pike out?’
‘Yes.’ She winced and pressed her fingers into her eyes. ‘No.’
‘You don’t have to do this, Teagan.’
She did. After how he’d touched her in the pool, those exquisite teasing soft kisses, her body would go into mutiny if she pulled out now. The ache of longing in her heart had descended somewhere lower. She could no more deny it than her name. Never had she experienced lust on this level.
Lust and so much more.
She met his gaze. ‘I want to.’
Lucas kept hold of her hand for most of the drive. At the suggestion she take her own car, he’d baulked. Too easy for her to chicken out, despite her promise, and he was fine with dropping her back in the morning. After all, he said with a wink, he was an early riser. In more ways than one.
That he smiled and joked helped. Teagan’s nerves were fairly chattering by the time they reached Astonville, but Lucas did his best to make this seem normal, even if sleeping with the sexiest man on the planet was as far from normal for Teagan as she could get.
The joking stopped in the kitchen. He closed the door and used a finger to lift her lowered chin, his gaze intense, his voice reassuring. ‘It’ll be okay.’
‘And if it’s not?’
‘It will be.’ He smiled and kissed her softly, his touch a promise.
A few strides and they were in his room. She perched on the edge of the bed, hands in her lap, and chewed her lip, awkward with inexperience. The last time she’d had sex was in Pinehaven’s shearing shed. A furtive and unsatisfying coupling with a shearer she’d felt not much more than mild attraction to. The sex was spoiled by the uncomfortable setting and fear of being caught.
This was adult. Serious. And the idea of afterwards cranked up her apprehension. What if Lucas didn’t want her tomorrow? What if this was just a single night? The tension of it made her breath fast and unsteady, like her heartbeat.
Eyes trained on hers, Lucas peeled off his T-shirt and jeans then came to crouch at her knees. He took her hands. ‘We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want. We can just sleep.’
But she did. She wanted. More than anything.
In answer she slipped her hands from his and lifted the hem of her top, raising it slowly up her belly and breasts before tugging it over her head and throwing it to the floor. Her damp bikini lay beneath. Lucas’s eyes flicked from her face to her breasts and back again. A power began to flood Teagan. Confidence. Slowly, she reached behind her neck for the bikini string and pulled. Holding the cups in place with her free hand, she drew on the remaining string. For a couple of heady breaths she held the fabric in place, then carefully lowered her hand.
Lucas stared, saying nothing. He didn’t need to. The desire lighting his face was enough. He stood, lifting her with him, and gently lowered her back onto the pillows before crawling alongside to brace himself on one elbow.
A finger traced over her belly. Soft swirls that made her skin pucker and something vibrate deep inside.
‘You know the feeling when you hoped something was really good and then you see it and it’s a million times better?’ he said. ‘That’s the feeling I have right now.’
‘Really?’
His focus returned to her breasts. ‘Yeah.’
‘They’re not too small?’
A wicked grin crossed his face, making her insides leap. ‘Not for my mouth.’
And in that moment, when his lips and tongue closed hot and hungry over her body, Teagan at last believed. It would be okay. Just as Lucas had promised.
Safe under his touch, she let go of all her fears and relished the pure joy of connecting with a man whose sole aim was to make her realise all she’d been missing. And want more.
Teagan smiled as a noise from the kitchen roused her and she remembered where she was. At Astonville, in Lucas’s bed, feeling almost achy from the thorough lovemaking she’d enjoyed.
Unquestionably, the man knew what to do. Lucas made all her previous encounters look like adolescent fumblings in comparison. What struck her most was how fun he’d made it. Fun and silly and sexy, and uncaring of squelchy noises or misplaced limbs. She’d never really considered sex noisy and messy. But it was those things and more, deserving of laughter as well as passion.
He’d not only made her feel amazing, he’d made her feel good about her body, too. Under his burning gaze, the bleached Huon pine plank with two dark knots to show where her boobs were meant to be had become a thing of beauty, curves and desire.
And Lucas. Oh, Lucas. His body was a dream. Hard, soft, strong.
Endlessly fascinating.
In a fit of delight and disbelief she wriggled, gripping handfuls of sheet as she drummed her heels onto the mattress.
So what if it all went pear-shaped. If telling her she deserved this was just a way to get laid. The hurt would be worth it for last night. A memory she could wrap up inside her and hold close to her heart for the rest of her life.
Fingers tickled the bottom of her foot through the sheet. ‘What are you so excited about?’
She opened her eyes and stretched deliciously, the sheet falling away to expose her breasts. Lucas was wearing only trunks and carrying a mug of something steamy. ‘You.’
His focus shifted. She liked the way he did that. The instant man-brain response to sexual stimuli. It made her feel beautiful.
He glanced at the mug and placed it on the bedside table. ‘I made you tea. Are you hungry?’
Teagan was but she didn’t feel like admitting it. Instead, she lowered her eyelids and regarded him with a sultry smile. The man was turning her into a complete tart. ‘A bit.’
He stroked fingers along the bed, close to her rapidly heating body, an equally tartish look on his face. ‘For cereal?’
‘Is that all you have to offer?’
He grinned. ‘What do you think?’
She sat up a little, reaching up to stroke the front of his bulging trunks. ‘I think you have a whole lot to offer.’
‘There I was thinking you were about to ask for sausage.’
She flopped back, giggling at the ridiculousness of the scene and held out a hand for him to take. ‘Come here, sausage man.’
The tea went cold. Breakfast never happened. By the time they made it to the kitchen she was so late Lucas dropped her straight at Belgravia. The missed fifteen minutes made her feel guilty, but Nick didn’t seem too perturbed. He took one look at her and another at Lucas, and rolled his eyes before ordering her to work.
Part of her felt guilty that she was even there. She should be at the hospital or at Falls Farm, helping Ness clean, but she’d already left Nick in the lurch yesterday, and with his staffing problems and her mum in no danger, more time off seemed unreasonable. The doctor had told her yesterday that there was a high likelihood Penny would be discharged later today anyway.
Under the jealous watch of Elsa, Lucas dragged Teagan into an empty stable for a passionate kiss before departing with a promise to pick her up at twelve for the return trip to Falls Farm. Via a bedroom detour. A highly pleasurable thought, but she really needed to see her mum.
Morning tea had Nick relaying news of the attack on Kathleen Ferguson.
‘I was all for the centre’s expansion before this,’ he said. ‘Stacey was, too. Dom promised us a role in his new equine-therapy program. We’ve not done too badly in the past with starlets wanting riding lessons. Dom’s always been good enough to recommend us. But this?’ He tugged off his baseball cap and rubbed at his hair before donning it again. ‘We can’t have people being attacked. Especially the defenceless elderly.’
A sentiment Teagan could only agree with as the report set her heart hardening further against Dom and the centre, and her own remorse worsened.
Lucas arrived forty minutes late, full of apology and frustration. He’d been called to another equestrian establishment to the north to shoe a couple of ponies, only to find another two had been added to the schedule without notice, along with the demand for a bulk discount.
Nick patted him on the back. ‘They’re arseholes.’
‘Yeah they are, but I’m not in a position to knock back the business.’
‘Did you give them the discount?’ asked Teagan in the car, when they were out of Nick’s earshot.
‘No. They weren’t happy about it either, but they’d pissed me off and I wasn’t about to budge. Besides, I’m a professional, not a bloody commodity trader.’
‘Horse people can be like that.’
‘Yeah, especially that lot.’ He drummed his fingers on the wheel, still clearly unhappy. ‘I mean, we’re talking people who are professionals themselves – doctors, dentists, lawyers and the like. Imagine if you asked them for a bulk discount?’
‘Did you tell them that?’
‘Yeah, but they didn’t seem to get it.’
‘No one likes to be undervalued.’ Something Teagan understood only too well, thanks to her father. But she didn’t want to think about him right now.
‘Have you heard from Vanessa?’ he asked.
‘Yes. She was just waiting for the doctor to give his okay to release Mum. She was going to call when she knew what time.’
Lucas reached across to tickle his fingers over her thigh. ‘That’s good news.’
‘It is.’
A sly smile curled his mouth. ‘For us, too.’
‘Oh yes? And how would that be?’
‘You’ll need a shower before you see her.’
‘I will. And I’m sure you need a good scrub after all your hard work this morning.’
‘Be a pity to waste water by having separate showers.’
‘It would. It’s important to be kind to the environment.’
They glanced at one another and broke into laughter. Teagan thought her heart would burst with the surge of joy their banter delivered. The niceness of him, the easy sexiness, amazed her. And he’d chosen her. Probably only momentarily, but it was wonderful all the same.
The thought had her staring out the window so he couldn’t see her face. It would be agony when it ended. She didn’t want it to, but Teagan was nothing if not a realist. It would happen in the end. She had to be prepared. Keep a little bit of insulation around her heart.
Rough knuckles touched her cheek. When she turned, Lucas had his sparkling gaze on hers. He winked and her insides did a gigantic roller-coaster lurch, shooting her heart from the very top of her chest to her stomach and back up again.
Reminding her there was no insulation for this. No vaccine, no preventative, and definitely no cure.
This was love.
Vanessa helped Penny out of the car. Carefully, they made their way to the steps. Penny remained very weak. Vanessa wasn’t sure she should have been released, but the hospital needed the bed, and Vanessa was more than capable of looking after her sister. Plus Bunny had promised to come around later to take a look. A vet was better than nothing.
‘Where’s Teagan?’ asked Penny, sounding bewildered when they found the house empty.
‘She probably had to work late for Nick. He’s short-staffed again.’ A white lie, but Penny wasn’t well enough to hear what Vanessa really thought her niece was up to. Lucas was a considerate boy. He wouldn’t keep her too long.
Penny became impossibly teary at the sight of her scrubbed room. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be. You were ill. You couldn’t help it.’
Vanessa could understand her sister’s humiliation. Penny had been unable to control herself and the smell alone had been horrendous. The stains worse. But Vanessa took to cleaning up the way she did everything – as a task that had to be done. She’d never seen the point in complaining. The sheets had been stripped and washed in hot water, the mattress dragged outside to rest behind the shed, out of sight. The bedroom rug had been shampooed and draped over the verandah rail to dry. The new mattress she’d ordered yesterday afternoon had arrived that morning as promised, and been remade with a new underlay, pillows and manchester. No odour remained, banished by the lemon-myrtle-scented candle she’d burned that morning and now relit for its soothing scent.
She tucked Penny into bed with a full glass of water and a jug on her nightstand.
‘What did Graham say?’
Vanessa had been avoiding mention of Graham but now she had to answer. ‘He hopes you get well soon.’
‘Did he . . .’ She blinked, her lashes suddenly covered in teardrops. ‘Did he say he missed me?’
Vanessa considered a lie and couldn’t do it. Graham had been a mess when she’d called. Blubbering into the phone and ta
lking of driving up to see Penny. A folly Vanessa had immediately cautioned against. Penny needed time to recover, not only from her ill health but from everything else he’d put her through.
The silly man had made all sorts of promises about changing. But when Vanessa had angrily asked what he was doing to ensure that, he’d had nothing to offer. A contact in Levenham had revealed he’d been seen playing pokies at a local pub. Vanessa had considered Teagan’s interpretation of trading contracts for difference as gambling as too narrow. Certainly it wasn’t for the unsophisticated investor, but they had a place among financial derivatives. But she could see now how in the hands of someone like her brother-in-law that it was no different to pressing the button on a poker machine or lodging any other form of bet.
She stroked her sister’s forehead. ‘He misses you very much, but enough of that. Sleep now.’
‘I should go to him. It was a mistake to come here. Teagan doesn’t need me.’
‘That’s just exhaustion talking. Remember how good you felt last week? And, darling, you’re wrong. Teagan does need you. We all need each other. That’s how families work.’
She left, mulling over their conversation. Penny had never once needed her. In fact, after Vanessa left home there were occasions when Penny had been downright hostile, but families were families. The bond existed whether it was wanted or not and Vanessa didn’t have children of her own. She only had Teagan and Owen, and she hadn’t seen Teagan’s brother in years.
In all its complicated dysfunction this was still her family. One she had every intention of protecting. Which meant if Penny still loved Graham, she’d have to do something about him, too.
She sighed and padded outside with her cup of coffee and some hummus and bread for lunch. She’d make soup later. Something easily digestible for Penny with plenty of vegetables.
Saffy came to sit by her side, expecting food. She stroked the dog’s head, grateful the Labradoodle hadn’t found anything stinky to roll in today. Blanche eyed them both from her perch on the verandah rail. With all the dramas of late the animals had been neglected. She really ought to give them more attention.