by Cathryn Hein
‘He’s sponsoring the cricket club,’ called Tony. ‘Pretty generously too.’
Kathleen’s gaze turned arctic. ‘A ploy. Propaganda, like the Nazis used.’
Teagan blinked. Tony let out a snort. A few of the others shifted uncomfortably.
The pregnant woman put her hand up. ‘I don’t think Domenic Ashe is a Nazi.’ She glanced to her side for support. ‘I mean, that’s a bit . . . you know.’
Kathleen ploughed on. Dissenters weren’t to be tolerated. ‘He is a man of great means and we are but simple villagers. We must be alert for schemes to break our alliance. And watchful of moles.’ With the word she threw a meaningful glance at Tony and then the pregnant woman, who coloured deeply. ‘And root them out. If we are to defeat this man, we need to maintain a war footing.’
‘Santo cielo,’ muttered Tony, rolling his eyes heavenward, ‘Now she’s channelling Churchill.’
‘The Falls was once a community. Now a divide has split us.’ Kathleen raised a fist. ‘We must return to the old ways, the days when the land was open and used for productive purposes instead of pampering the rich.’
‘Returning to the old days?’ whispered Tony. ‘I thought this was a progress association.’
Teagan bit down hard on her lip.
‘So,’ said Kathleen. ‘What can we do? Petition. And petition hard. Make the council see that we don’t want Domenic Ashe and his misnamed Wellness Centre.’ She reached for a wad of papers and held them up. ‘These are our weapons. Use them.’
The meeting was over. Teagan fled but not before having a dozen petition forms thrust into her hand. They sat on the ute’s passenger seat as she made her way through The Falls until, unable to stand the evidence of her lie to Lucas any longer, she stopped at the servo and dumped them into the bin. No matter how she felt about the centre or Dom, she should never have gone to that meeting. She had no business involving herself in village politics and her attendance was bound to be revealed. Lucas would find out, so would Ness, and her mother and Dom. She stifled a sob at the thought. Why was she doing this to herself? To them? It was if she wanted to ruin her life in The Falls.
Her guilt only worsened when she found Lucas in the darkness, pacing the yard.
She alighted, ready to explain, but he got in first.
‘Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to —’
He shut her up with an embrace that felt almost desperate. ‘Jesus,’ he breathed. ‘Jesus.’ Finally he let her go. ‘I’d better call Vanessa.’
‘What for?’
‘So they can all stop worrying.’
She stepped back, guilt making her snappy. ‘For God’s sake. I’m an adult not a child.’ At his dismayed expression she looked away. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just . . .’ She raised a hand and let it flop down. ‘I’m not used to this.’
‘To what? People caring about you?’
She bit her lip and stared towards the road. ‘I’ve always looked after myself. Then, with what Dad did . . .’ She trailed off again. How to explain how hard she found it to trust? To believe anyone could act, not in self-interest, but with selflessness. Especially towards someone so undeserving.
‘I’m not your dad, Teagan.’
‘I know.’ She curled her fist against her chest and rubbed her sternum in an attempt to soothe the ache that pulsed behind it.
‘Hey.’ A big arm went around her shoulders and she was hugged against Lucas’s solid body. With a kiss on top of her head, he began to lead her to the house. ‘We’ll work it out. I promise.’
At his kindness, the urge to cry rose thick and strong. She held it back in. She’d cried too much in front of him already. ‘I really am sorry for worrying you. I honestly didn’t mean to.’
‘I probably over-reacted. It’s just that when you said you wanted time alone it freaked me out a bit.’ The next words were said with slow carefulness. ‘Teagan, I know there’s stuff you might not be able to talk to me about but Vanessa said the centre has a psychologist that could help.’ He paused. ‘With your depression.’
‘I’m not depressed,’ she said quickly. A painful knot tightened in Teagan’s stomach. Now Lucas thought she was crazy, too. Everyone probably did. She bet they were all talking about her, how nuts she was. The thought made her want to tear from his hold and run. Anywhere. As long as it was away from here. Instead, she breathed in deeply. She might not be able to run but she could hide, within herself. Pretend there was nothing wrong. It had worked in Levenham. Mostly. ‘I’m fine. Really I am. You’re all worried about nothing.’
Though his expression was doubtful he let it drop and pulled open the kitchen door. ‘You must be starving.’
‘A bit.’ She caught the smell of curry and spotted the wok on the stove. ‘You didn’t wait for me, did you?’
He shrugged. ‘Didn’t feel like eating.’
‘Oh, Lucas, I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay. You’re back. That’s what matters.’
She set the table, pretending not to listen in on his phone conversation as it carried from the lounge. Though Lucas spoke softly she caught snatches of phrases. A few ‘I don’t knows’, an ‘I don’t want to push’, a few straight ‘I knows’. Teagan filled in the gaps: Ness asking where Teagan had been. Whether she’d agreed to see Dom’s counsellor. Blunt statements of ‘she’s crazy’ and ‘she needs help’.
By the time he’d finished her hands were shaking and she had to escape to the bathroom to calm herself down. The anxiety lingered, and several times during dinner her cutlery clattered loudly against her plate. She caught Lucas’s tightened mouth and tried to cover up the awkwardness with inane talk. Faking her way through was better than addressing a subject she feared.
‘Shower?’ he asked when the last dish was stowed and the benches and table cleaned.
She glanced up and was astonished to see desire in his gaze. She’d done nothing to deserve this and yet he still wanted her.
‘Are you telling me I smell?’
Smiling, he moved closer and slid a finger up and down her waist. ‘I’m telling you I want to see you naked.’
Heat pulsed in her groin, pushing away all other feeling. She toyed with his shirt buttons and slid the top one undone. ‘Again? You saw me naked this morning.’
‘That was hours ago.’ His hand drifted to the button of her jeans. With an expert flick it sprang open.
‘Surely you haven’t forgotten what I look like during that time?’
‘That’s the problem. I haven’t.’ He placed a gentle kiss on her neck and moved his lips along the sensitive line to her ear. A delicious shudder went through Teagan as she heard the quickening of his breath. ‘It’s been driving me crazy.’
She gasped as he pushed the zip of her jeans down and slipped his fingers into her underwear. ‘You drive me crazy.’
‘Good. I like crazy.’
Teagan closed her eyes. It was a joke. A sexy bit of banter.
But one she desperately wished was true.
Vanessa leaned forward, concern for her sister crinkling her face. ‘Oh, Penny darling. Are you sure?’
Penny nodded. ‘He’s my husband. The only man I’ve ever loved.’
Vanessa sat back. She’d suspected this was coming. Fearing the disruption he might cause to both his wife and daughter, Vanessa had done her best to keep Graham at a distance. But she wasn’t home all the time. Graham had the house number and had been calling, and now the worst had happened. He’d convinced Penny to take him back.
She sighed. Penny loved him, that much was clear, but the man had a problem. A major problem, but then the entire family had problems. The only person without them was herself. Although that wasn’t quite true either. She still had that tiny-penised prat Callum threatening her. And her deepening feelings for Dom to sort out.
‘But he let you down so badly.’
‘I know. But he’s sorry.’
Sorry
, in Vanessa’s opinion, wasn’t enough. Apologies were easy things. It was action and change that was hard, and from what she’d heard Graham had done neither. He was currently surviving on the kindness of an old family friend who’d offered him a room until he found his feet. The problem was that Graham’s feet kept taking him towards poker machines. If Penny returned there could be only one outcome and that was disaster. The broken woman she’d picked up from the airport weeks before was too fresh in Vanessa’s memory to allow her to return to that life so soon.
‘And I didn’t help with my issues.’
‘Don’t you dare blame yourself. Don’t you dare.’ Vanessa breathed through her nose in an attempt to calm down. ‘Look, darling, this is all very sudden. Why don’t you think on it for a few days? Perhaps talk to your counsellor. There’s no need to rush, is there?’
‘No,’ said Penny, sounding uncertain. ‘I suppose not.’
‘Good. Now how about some sangria to brighten us up?’
Vanessa was chopping orange segments when she spied Dom’s Mercedes through the window. Her heart gave a little skip of anticipation. The sun caught his blond hair as he stepped out and she wondered when he’d start to go grey. Only yesterday she’d noticed how much her own hair was losing its rich colour. The years were catching her. Her body was changing, yielding to middle age. Had she stayed, her ex-husbands would have traded her in long ago. Perhaps that time would come soon with Dom, too.
She ceased chopping and stared at the window, swamped with despair at the idea of her life without Dom. His friendship mattered. So did his unconcealed want. When she was near him she felt young and desirable. She liked his charm, his intelligence, his sophistication. And she liked his decency. The way he conducted his business honestly, but without compromising his determination to succeed.
It would hurt badly when he moved on. She needed to be prepared.
‘I have some good news for you,’ said Dom, breaking off his chat with Penny as Vanessa pushed open the screen door and stepped onto the verandah. He took the drinks tray from her and kissed her cheek. He smelled of the aftershave she’d bought him for his birthday – a delicious citrus scent underpinned by a woody base that seemed even sexier on him than the famously hunky actor used to advertise the brand.
‘Merlin has had a reprieve?’
‘Not yet, but Bunny’s gone over Montague’s head and arranged for his boss to inspect Merlin.’
‘But what if it backfires and he declares him dangerous?’
‘He won’t. Bunny knows him. Apparently he thinks the claim is spurious anyway. Bunny said he would’ve quashed it already except Montague’s an officious type who’d cause trouble if process wasn’t followed.’
The relief made Vanessa feel uncharacteristically weepy. ‘I so hope you’re right. I don’t think I could cope if Merlin had to be destroyed.’
‘Hey,’ said Dom, putting down the tray. He placed warm hands on her upper arms and studied her face. ‘What’s this?’
She stroked a fallen tear away. ‘Nothing. I’m just being silly.’
‘You’ve shouldered too much lately.’
‘Oh, I’m fine.’ She smiled, wanting to press herself into his chest and let his safe arms comfort her but aware it would send the wrong signal. To him as well as her traitorous heart. ‘Now, I think good news deserves a drink. Sangria?’
Although under doctor’s orders to avoid fruit juice for a while, Penny was still off alcohol. She left them to it to play with Wilma.
‘Penny mentioned just before that Graham rang,’ said Dom when she was out of earshot. There was concern in his voice.
‘He did. He asked her to come home. She’s thinking about going.’
‘Ah.’
‘It’s awful.’ Vanessa closed her eyes briefly at the thought. ‘I can’t let her go back to him.’
‘She’s an adult. Difficult to stop her.’
The teary feeling welled again. ‘It’ll end in disaster. I have to find a way to protect her.’
‘Can I help?’
She shook her head. ‘No. I’ll talk to Kevin again, the friend he’s staying with. See if he can’t convince Graham to call the gambling hotline.’
‘And Penny?’
She looked towards her sister. ‘I’ve told her to talk to her counsellor. I hope you don’t mind. It seemed the only way to stall her.’
‘Of course I don’t mind. We’ll book her in for another stay. It’ll give you a break, a chance to stop worrying.’ He pulled out his phone and began tapping.
‘Dom.’ Her tone was severe. She knew what he was doing.
‘What?’
‘I’ll pay this time.’
‘We’ll work that out later. Let’s just get her booked in.’
Irritation had Vanessa rubbing her eyebrow. She knew him too well. This was a bill that would never come; another IOU on a list that had been building alarmingly of late. His generosity left her with the feeling she was being bought, no matter how many times he rejected the accusation.
This was how it had started before. The almost paternalistic taking care of her, solving her problems. The charming promise that she didn’t owe anything when there was always a cost in the end. A big one.
She studied Dom’s profile as he worked, hungry for a sign that he was different. That for all his likeness to the men of her past he could be the man of her future. The one who wanted nothing in return except her love. Who adored her mind, her character, even her imperfections, as much as he did her body and grace. A man who never used her to achieve his own ends because she was the end.
Sensing her scrutiny, he looked up and smiled. It was tender and open, and laden with an emotion that made her heart flutter.
In that moment, the scales shifted and a dangerous thought began to form. One she needed to control fast before it built and took over. Yet with each breath, each heartbeat Vanessa held his gaze, it grew until it sat fat and frightening in her mind.
Against the heaviness of losing Dom, her independence weighed little.
Teagan stretched and rolled onto her side, tucking her hands under her cheek as she opened her eyes to gaze at Lucas in the faint Friday pre-dawn light.
‘Hey,’ he said. Gently, he smoothed a lock of hair away from her face.
The house was quiet, only their shallow breathing and bed creaks filling the space. Teagan had come to treasure these times. The hushed minutes in which she felt truly calm and relaxed. Her and Lucas, cosy from sleep, their skin brushing in intimate whispers. The way he looked at her, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. A night fantasy experienced awake.
‘Sleep well?’ he asked.
‘I did. You?’
He smiled lazily. ‘I had dreams.’
‘Oh, yes?’
He held eye contact, the smile still in place, and for a moment she believed that what lived behind those blue eyes was real. That it would stretch beyond the bed and into the day.
‘I have something for you.’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Mind out of the gutter.’ He rolled over. The bedside drawer slid open. Teagan assumed he was fetching a condom, but when he rolled back he kept his fist closed. He smiled again as he rested his hand on the sheet between them, and slowly opened his fingers.
A pendant lay in his palm. It was silver, with a fine leather thong threaded through a delicate clasp at the top. The metal shone like starlight, slowly brightening as the rising sun hit the side of the house. The outer edges had been worked into organic curves that swept up to form tiny curlicues. Between the swirls of moulded silver shone enamel inlays in blue, green and indigo. The effect was like a stylised peacock feather, except Lucas had somehow improved on nature and made it more.
‘It’s incredible.’
‘It’s for you.’
She swallowed, the urge to cry welling thick and inconvenient. Teagan kept her eyes on the pendant, breathing the pressure away. Finally, she felt calm enough to look up. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re so talented.’ She stroked the pendant. The warmth of his hand had left its smooth surface feeling strangely soft. As more light touched the room, the inlays seemed to glow as though lit from within. ‘Everything you make is an art piece. Like you take the best of nature’s design and turn it into something even more exquisite.’ She scanned his face with a kind of awe. ‘You must see things so differently to the rest of us. Like a . . .’ Teagan hunted for the right word. ‘Like you can see another dimension beneath the world.’
Suddenly she blushed. It was a silly thing to say. She had no idea what he saw, only that it must be amazing.
‘Come here.’ Lucas fed the leather thong around her neck and tied a knot. The pendant hung just below her throat, still warm from his body heat. He stroked the skin around its edges before cupping his big hand around her chin and swooping in to kiss her breathless.
They made love in the glitter of sunrise, every object around them shining and sparkling with slanted light. Teagan felt touched by it, special. And for once the hope that she woke with lingered, carried into the dawn locked in silver and enamel, and the passion in Lucas’s eyes.
The feeling remained with her throughout the morning, following her on the drive to Falls Farm. With the afternoon still ahead and Lucas tied up, she’d packed her bikini in case Ness invited her to swim. Perhaps later she might even be asked to stay for cocktails. That would nice. A little awkward, given that Dom was likely to turn up, but still nice.
‘Teagan,’ called her mother happily from the verandah when she alighted in the yard. ‘You’re just in time. We’ve a new addition to the family.’
Teagan blinked in surprise, then watched as Penny descended the verandah steps carrying a ridiculously long-eared fawn rabbit.
Teagan glanced up to where Ness stood against the rail, one hand on a straining, narrow-eyed Blanche. Her aunt shook her head but there was amusement on her face.
Penny held out the rabbit. ‘She’s an English Lop. Aren’t her ears amazing?’